After Our Divorce, I Still Wore Your Jacket

Chapter 32

Warning: Mentions of past rape (brief, not explicit)

That day, Fang Shaoyi kept telling Yuan Ye to not be scared. In actuality, Yuan Ye wasn’t scared. However, that scene was stuck in his brain. He kept remembering the boy’s pale, deathlike face as he got towed away.

Yuan Ye asked, “Is he......dead?”

Fang Shaoyi shook his head and replied, “He won’t die.”

He wasn’t only saying this to comfort Yuan Ye. No matter what, a second assistant director wouldn’t actually dare to fool around with someone until they died. At most, what had happened was that he had lost control and acted impulsively. Fang Shaoyi’s expression wasn’t great either. After grabbing the first aid kit and returning, he helped clean up the little cuts on Yuan Ye’s hands. Yuan Ye’s hands rested in his palms: the other’s fingers remained cold the entire time.

When he finished, Fang Shaoyi squeezed Yuan Ye’s hands and softly told him, “Stop thinking about it. Sleep?”

Yuan Ye made a noise of acknowledgment and nodded. “Okay.”

Fang Shaoyi cleaned up and stood. He rubbed Yuan Ye’s head again.

Because of this accident, Fang Shaoyi still decided to send Yuan Ye away – back to school. He couldn’t guarantee that they wouldn’t see the group of people they had seen that day again. If they encountered each other once more, Yuan Ye would definitely become scared or nervous. In the past, he had felt that he was familiar with the director, which was why he had let Yuan Ye come. He had believed that nothing would go wrong, but an accident had still occurred.

Upon hearing that Fang Shaoyi wanted to send him away, Yuan Ye first nodded, then immediately shook his head instead. “I won’t leave. I’m going to accompany you.”

Fang Shaoyi said, “I don’t need accompaniment.”

Yuan Ye shook his head again. He didn’t want to leave. He knew that Fang Shaoyi’s background guaranteed that he would be safe no matter where, but he still felt worried. He always felt anxious about leaving Fang Shaoyi alone on set, even though he couldn’t even do anything here.

This caused the blaze in Yuan Ye’s heart to wither a little. He still liked the other the same amount and still thought about him the same amount. His feelings hadn’t changed, but his nervousness and fear of this industry had taken up half of his emotional capacity. This kind of nervousness and fear would slowly cause someone to become resistant and aversive. If they heard more stories later on about these dirty, immoral, and completely unethical behaviors, this feeling would then transform into a form of disgust. A type of disgust that originated from the depths of the heart, a type that believed this luxurious and exaggerated industry was propped up by dark and hideous shadows.

He never saw that young actor on set again. His scenes would probably all be switched out too. However, Yuan Ye did see those people who had towed him away again. They acted like nothing had ever happened. They completed their daily tasks and could still chat and joke around casually. This was quite repulsive. This was the worst side of humanity.

Prior to everything, Yuan Ye had kept bugging Fang Shaoyi to teach him how to pursue someone. After this, he stopped. Every day, he followed Fang Shaoyi around, acting like a little lackey again. He guarded the other quietly and diligently. He wasn’t willing to leave, so Fang Shaoyi kept him by his side. Either way, he would be able to wrap up soon.

In his free time, Fang Shaoyi asked Yuan Ye, “Not pursuing that person anymore?”

Yuan Ye nodded and said, “I am. I have to.”

“Then how come I haven’t heard you say anything about it?” Fang Shaoyi continued to ask.

Yuan Ye licked his lips and lowly said, “I’m not going to pursue them here anymore. I’ll pursue them again when we get back.”

Fang Shaoyi’s gaze was very gentle. He nodded and said, “Okay.”

This place was too dirty. Any emotions felt here had been polluted. It wasn’t the fact that a few people had done that to a youth that was dirty. It was that they could so casually do that to someone and continue working on set, that they could possibly move on to the next person, or next next person. It wasn’t like no one knew. Even if you saw, you were blind. If you heard, you were deaf. This included Yuan Ye himself too.

Yuan Ye’s face and neck couldn’t be considered pale. This was because he often ran around outside during the summer. His skin had been tanned by the sunlight: it was a very solid and healthy golden brown. His eyelids were thin, his eyelashes long. There was a tiny scar near the end of his eye. This scar wasn’t ugly. In contrast, Fang Shaoyi liked it a lot. He always found it very fascinating.

Fang Shaoyi picked up a small brush off the counter and dabbed it in some powder. With slight amusement, he gently brushed it against that tiny dip.

His actions were too light. This caused them to be slightly itchy. Yuan Ye’s eyelashes fluttered a bit. He opened his eyes to look at Fang Shaoyi. The other’s hand was in his line of sight.

Yuan Ye didn’t move at all. He stayed sprawled there, asking, “Yi ge, what are you doing?”

Fang Shaoyi smiled at him and softly questioned, “I’ll give you some light, okay?”

“Okay.” Yuan Ye smiled from where he was sprawling. His smile was simple and peaceful. He asked, “What kind of light?”

Fang Shaoyi thought about it, then looked him in the eyes and said, “Moonlight. Is that okay?”

He was too gentle. Too gentle. Such a Fang Shaoyi caused Yuan Ye’s entire heart to go soft, like a ball of cotton that had been kept out in the sun all day. Yuan Ye reached out a finger and touched the wooden handle of the little brush in Fang Shaoyi’s hand. He blinked and answered, “That’s more than okay.”

The sun and the moon were different. The sun was blinding and scorching. It could give you light, but you didn’t dare to look at it. You also knew that you would never be able to touch or feel it. The moon was different. Moonlight was equally as bright and beautiful, but you could stare at it for a long time and your eyes wouldn’t hurt. It was always clear and cold, but also gentle and quiet.

So even though Fang Shaoyi was so warm and dazzling, Yuan Ye had never felt like he was the sun. He was more like the moon, elegant and noble.

Fang Shaoyi said he was going to put moonlight in his eyes. That was truly beyond great.

Later on, Yuan Ye habitually started touching his eye, feeling the dip on his eyelid. It originally ought to have been ugly. After this, though, he didn’t find it ugly anymore.

Yuan Ye was ultimately Yuan Ye: a naughty kid who never kept too many thoughts on his mind. The distraction on set affected him for a few days, but not enough to cause him to become depressed forever following it. After Fang Shaoyi brushed some moonlight onto his eyes, Yuan Ye felt like he had come back to life. The task he had delayed previously could be started up again.

He started pondering about the youth in his mind again. Those young thoughts started causing waves in the ocean of his brain once more.

But he absolutely wouldn’t pursue him on set. Though his mood had recovered, the aversion he felt towards film sets still remained.

When they returned, summer vacation hadn’t yet ended. The two of them headed home separately. Yuan Ye’s family knew that he knew Fang Shaoyi, and also knew that Yuan Ye had visited the other’s film set during break. At home, Yuan Ye rarely brought up stuff about the film set, but he often mentioned Fang Shaoyi. His family had never cared what kinds of friends he made as long as he was happy. Besides, they couldn’t control him anyways. Even if they tried, he wouldn’t listen.

At night, Yuan Ye would text love poems to Fang Shaoyi. He wrote them very discretely and also very artistically. He could write several of these every night, even with his eyes closed. He occasionally would send Fang Shaoyi a bunch.

Fang Shaoyi had no idea how to reply to these things. Most of the time, he only replied with a: Received.

Thus, Yuan Ye would ask: Yi ge, if I were pursuing someone and their responses were as cold as yours, what would this mean?

A while later, Fang Shaoyi responded: They’re happy.

Yuan Ye: They’re happy so they said “received”?

Fang Shaoyi: Un, that’s what a happy response looks like.

Yuan Ye: Ah......

Occasionally, Fang Shaoyi would send Yuan Ye a text, saying: If you’re pursuing someone, you need to take the initiative to call them.

When Yuan Ye saw this text, he instantly called. As soon as the other picked up, he said, “Yi ge, good evening!”

Fang Shaoyi’s voice sounded especially nice through the phone. “Good evening.”

“I want to go back to school,” Yuan Ye told Fang Shaoyi. “When are you going back, ge?”

Fang Shaoyi answered, “Just let me know when you’re heading back.”

“Are you going to come back when I do?” Yuan Ye squatted in the little yard downstairs, tugging at a blade of grass that had grown out of a crack in the brick.

Fang Shaoyi made a noise of acknowledgment.

Thus, the second day, Yuan Ye texted Fang Shaoyi: Yi ge, I’m back.

Guan Zhou had returned too. Yuan Ye sat cross-legged on his bed in the dorms and ate a popsicle. Guan Zhou asked him, “Ye ge, are film sets interesting? Did you see any celebrities?

Yuan Ye shook his head. “They’re not interesting.”

Guan Zhou laughed and said, “But you still went.”

Yuan Ye thought to himself I regret it too. I never want to go back again. But Fang Shaoyi needed to join innumerous film sets in the future. If he went, Yuan Ye probably would want to go too.

When it was almost nighttime, Fang Shaoyi called Yuan Ye, saying that he would get there in an hour. They would be able to eat dinner together. Yuan Ye told Guan Zhou immediately after hanging up, “I won’t be eating with you tonight.”

Guan Zhou’s expression was bewildered. They had already made plans to eat barbecue tonight. Why the sudden change of plans?

Yuan Ye said, “Find someone else to get barbecue with you. I’ll pay.”

Guan Zhou was lost. “Ye ge, what’s the situation? Whose call is so important that you’ve thrown me away without hesitation?”

Yuan Ye was quite honest. “Yi ge.”

“Your Yi ge,” Guan Zhou furrowed his brows, slightly speechless. “Your Yi ge is basically the same as your boyfriend.”

“I wish.” He got a text. Yuan Ye looked down at it while saying, “I wish he were, even in my dreams.”

The text was a message from Fang Shaoyi. It was only two simple phrases, short and to the point: Roses to pursue someone. Five are enough.

His response almost scared Guan Zhou to death. He scooted in close to carefully observe Yuan Ye’s face, then repeated what the other had said earlier. He tentatively asked, “Even in your dreams...... What does that mean?”

“Take it literally.” Yuan Ye put his phone in his pocket and pushed open the door. He only left a, “I’m pursuing him,” for Guan Zhou before leaving.

Without giving Guan Zhou any time to make further inquiries, Yuan Ye ran off. It wouldn’t be appropriate to yell such questions down the hallway either, so as Guan Zhou watched Yuan Ye’s figure run off, he felt like his soul had frozen in place. He had never heard Yuan Ye mention anything about this, and had also never seen him pursue anyone. The two of them had grown up together. Yuan Ye didn’t seem to be wired for romance; he had never displayed any inclinations towards this subject matter. All he knew to do was play around wildly and be a general menace. All of a sudden, this person mentioned that he wanted to pursue someone. Unexpectedly, that someone was actually Fang Shaoyi.

A man. And a movie star.

Goodness. Had he gone crazy?

Yuan Ye squatted next to the entrance to the school, waiting for Fang Shaoyi. When he saw the other pushing his suitcases while walking over, he jumped up and ran toward him. There was a big smile on his face as he greeted Fang Shaoyi. Both his hands were empty: not a flower was in sight.

Fang Shaoyi scolded, “Why aren’t you waiting inside the dorm? It’s hot outside. Where’s your key?”

Yuan Ye rubbed his head and replied, “I forgot to bring it.”

Fang Shaoyi stared at the thin layer of sweat on his forehead and asked, “Don’t you usually jump in through the window?”

Normally, if Yuan Ye forgot the key, he would jump in through the small window above the door. Thus, Fang Shaoyi never locked that particular window. Yuan Ye shook his head and tried to fool Fang Shaoyi with a smile. He didn’t say anything.

He couldn’t say that the dorm room felt suffocating. It also made one......extremely embarrassed.

Fang Shaoyi needed to drop his stuff off before the two of them could go out to eat. He led Yuan Ye back to the dorm and told the other to wait while he went to take a shower first.

Yuan Ye offhandedly made a noise of acknowledgment.

Fang Shaoyi pushed open the door. The next instant, he froze, then turned around to gaze at Yuan Ye. Yuan Ye’s head was turned to the side; he refused to look at Fang Shaoyi.

——There were small bouquets of bright red roses all over the dorm. One on the chair, one on the table, one on the dresser, and a large pile on the bed.

Fang Shaoyi wanted to laugh, but couldn’t bear to. He turned and gently asked Yuan Ye, “What’s the situation?”

Yuan Ye tugged at his ear and furiously shook his head. “I don’t know......I think.”