Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu‎

Volume 1, The Second Question

Write down an idiom which has the following meaning:

(1) Fail to do something you are good at

(2) Encounter consecutive unfortunate events

Himeji Mizuki's Answer:

(1) "Even a monkey can fall from a tree."

(2) Having a leaking rooftop on a rainy day

Teacher's Comment:

Correct. There are other answers for the first part of the question, such as "Horses losing their front hooves" and "Even fish may drown". Other answers for the second part would be "Good things don't start coming, bad things never stop happening", "A year full of misfortune", etc.

Tsuchiya Kouta's Answer:

(1) "Even horses will drop from a tree."

Teacher's Comment:

That would be an incredible scene.

Yoshii Akihisa's Answer:

(2) Have both a leaking rooftop and landslide occur

Teacher's Comment:

Aren't you too unlucky?

"What the…? Isn't this room too large to be a classroom?"

Stepping onto the third floor that I never had a chance to visit last year, I saw a classroom five times larger than usual right in front of me.

Maybe this was the Class A that people had been talking about. Let's see what's in there.

"Congratulations to everyone for making it to the second year. My name is Takahashi Youko, and I am the homeroom teacher for Class 2-A. Nice to meet you."

I stopped and looked into the classroom through the big window. There was an intelligent-looking woman with spectacles standing in the front of the classroom. She had her hair tied up on the back of her head and was dressed up neatly in a suit.

When she stopped her speech, her name showed up not on a blackboard, but on a plasma TV that was huge enough to cover the whole wall. How luxurious! How much money did they spend on that?

"First of all, please check the things that you were given. Everyone should have a laptop, a personal air conditioner, a fridge, an adjustable chair, etc. Are they working properly?"

There was more than enough space, facilities, and equipment. It was easily enough for fifty students to use.

The fridges were filled with drinks and snacks. Every student had their own air conditioner which they could adjust to whatever temperature they wanted.

If you looked around the classroom, you would notice that the ceiling was made of glass. High-class paintings were hanging on the walls, and there were ornamental plants around the room. The interior design looked like the lobby of a five-star hotel.

"Besides the textbooks and reference books, the food and drinks in the fridge are provided by the school free of charge. If you need any other facilities or equipment, feel free to let us know."

I could smell the fragrance of red tea; it seems that some students had made some.

"Now, let me introduce the class representative. Kirishima Shouko, please come forward."

"…Yes."

The person who stood up and answered the call was a girl with long black hair. Her appearance resembled that of a Japanese doll.

She was a gentle-looking girl who had a beautiful face and a dignified aura that made her look like she was free from secular affairs.

Everyone in the classroom was looking at her.

Class representative- the person in this class who scored the highest on the placement test.

In other words, the smartest person in Class A was also the smartest person amongst the second-years; this explained why she was receiving so much attention.

"…My name is Kirishima Shouko. Nice to meet you."

Although everyone was looking at her, she still introduced herself as usual.

It seemed that everyone was staring at her eyes, but when I looked carefully, all of them were actually female. It seemed that the rumors were true!

She was very famous as soon as she enrolled into this school. Everybody knew how beautiful she was, and a lot of guys had confessed to her. However, none of them ever succeeded. Since then, there were rumors saying that she liked girls… I see the tide doesn't start without wind.

"Everyone in Class A, please work together with Kirishima from now until the end of your second year and study hard together! The 'war' starts now, so please don't lose to anyone else."

The homeroom teacher concluded the speech, and Kirishima bowed before returning to her seat.

Oh, no, I should hurry to my classroom.

I quickly walked down the corridors at a very fast pace.

☆

Standing below the sign with "Class 2-F" written on it, I hesitated.

Would being late to class give my classmates a bad impression?

Was anyone in the classroom disgusting, scary, or hard to deal with?

What kind of comrades will I have for the rest of the year? The more I thought about it, the more nervous I became.

"Well, maybe I'm just worrying too much."

It was just being late; there was nothing to worry about.

Come to think of it, we were classmates; there was nothing to be afraid of! Maybe they would start worrying about me if I was late because I wasn't feeling well! (Actually, it's because I overslept.)

Calm down, there was nothing to worry about. I need to trust the comrades whom I will have to work together with from now on.

After I made up my mind, I pushed the door open and greeted my classmates in the room with my most sincere voice.

"Sorry I'm late?"

"Hurry up and sit down, you idiot!"

My perfect image was ruined!

"Didn't you hear what I just said?"

Come to think of it, this person was being rude. Being a teacher doesn't give you the right to speak like this.

I glared fiercely at the guy who was standing behind the lectern.

He was unexpectedly tall, probably close to 180 cm. His body was slim but not thin, which made him look like a ruthless boxer. Slowly looking up, I saw a pair of eyes filled with willpower; a wild-looking, handsome face; and short hair on his head that looked like a mane.

"…Yuuji, what the hell are you doing?"

This guy was not a teacher; he was my so-called friend, Sakamoto Yuuji.

"Because the teacher's late, I'm taking his place."

"You are replacing the teacher? You? Why?"

"Somehow, my score is the highest in Class F."

"So that makes you the class rep?"

"Ah, it seems so."

Yuuji cunningly smiled. After listening to what he had said, I smiled as well. In other words, if I could take care of Yuuji, no one could stop me from doing anything in this class.

"Therefore, everyone in this class is my subordinate."

Yuuji proudly overlooked the classmates who were sitting on the ground.

…Yes, everyone was sitting on the ground.

Why? The answer was simple: there were no chairs.

"On the other hand… this classroom really befits the name 'Class F'."

I should find a place and sit down first.

"Sorry, can you please let me through?"

Suddenly, a weak voice came from behind me.

A stupid-looking old man with untidy hair and dressed in a wrinkled shirt was standing there.

"Can I put a chair there? It is homeroom now."

Since he didn't wear a uniform and looked far from being a teenager, I thought he might be our homeroom teacher.

"Roger that."

"Okay."

Yuuji and I answered him separately and returned to our seats.

The teacher waited until we were seated, stood behind the lectern, and spoke slowly.

"Good morning, everyone. My name is Fukuhara Shin. I will be the homeroom teacher for Class 2-F. Nice to meet you."

Mr. Fukuhara originally planned to write his name on the dirty board, but he wasn't able to. Oh, my spirit! The school didn't provide chalk?

"Does everyone have a chabudai and a cushion? Please raise your hand if you don't have one."

There were around fifty students squeezed into this small little classroom without writing tables. There were only tatami, chabudai, and cushions. What new and luxurious facilities! I've known about this since my first year, but seeing it firsthand still shocked me.

"Sensei… my cushion doesn't have any cotton in it."

There were a number of students who complained about the faulty equipment.

"I see. Bear with it."

"Sensei, the leg of my table is broken."

"Did they give you some glue? Glue it yourself later."

"Sensei, cold air is blowing in from the broken window…"

"I see. I'll report it to the school and request for plastic bags and tape to repair it."

In the corner of the room were spiders freely making webs, and there wasn't a single spot on the wall that was clean or without graffiti. This is terrible; is this an abandoned house?

"If you need anything else, try to take care of it yourself…"

There was a smell of mildew filling up the classroom; it must be coming from below these old tatami.

"Let's begin the self-introductions! We will start from the person sitting beside the corridor."

When Mr. Fukuhara finished his speech, one of the students in the circle stood up and started to introduce himself.

"My name is Kinosheeta Hideyoshi, a member of the drama club."

It was Hideyoshi speaking.

He had a unique way of talking. With a slim body and loosely-tied shoulder-length hair, at a glance- no, even when I looked at him carefully, his cuteness could easily make me, someone who knew him, think that he was a girl. That's right, that was Kinosheeta Hideyoshi, my classmate from last year.

On the other hand, if he dressed up in a female uniform and changed his way of speaking, he would definitely be treated like a girl. This could happen easily in a class filled with smelly guys like this.

"So then, nice to meet you."

Hideyoshi smiled subtly, and ended his self-introduction. So… so CUTE! Wait a second, Yoshii Akihisa, don't fall for it! He's a guy!

"Tsuchiya Kouta…"

The next student had already started his self-introduction while I was still mumbling the warning I had to give myself numerous times last year.

Who was it? Ah, I knew this guy as well.

He was still as reticent as usual. He didn't have a huge body, but you could see that he was good at sports from the muscles he had. I didn't know why he was so shy. Was it because he didn't want to stand out too much and get into trouble? Well, there were all sorts of people in the world.

However, I could only see guys in the classroom; there were no girls in the last class. Was it the same everywhere else in the world?

"…is my name. I grew up overseas. Although I can speak Japanese, reading it is still a bit hard for me."

While I was thinking, another introduction had begun.

"My English is very poor because I grew up in Germany. My hobby is…"

OH! It was a girl this time; it was a precious treasure to the whole class. Finally, at least there was one girl in the class.

"My hobby is beating up Yoshii Akihisa ☆."

Who was it? Who had this special, extreme, and dangerous hobby?

"Hello…"

The person who was smiling and waving at me was…

"Ah, Shi… Shimada, it is you!"

"Yoshii, nice to see you again this year."

Another person I knew, and my natural enemy from last year- Shimada Minami.

Why? Why were so many people I knew in the same class as me? Wasn't it strange? Was this an example of "Birds of a feather flock together"? I couldn't believe I was actually on the same level as these people!

"Nice to meet you."

Okay, it seemed that the person in front of me had just finished, and now it was my turn.

I took a breath, and rose up from the ground.

Let's start my self-introduction! The first impression was very important. In order to make a lot of good friends, I have to make sure to stress that I was a positive and optimistic person.

Suddenly, an idea ran through my mind. I decided to use a relaxing joke to start my speech. I tried my best to speak in a funny way, and started my self-introduction.

"Er, my name is Yoshii Akihisa. Feel free to call me 'Darling'."

"DAR--LING!"

The chorus of rough voices was more disgusting than I could have ever imagined.

"Sorry, I take back what I said! Nice to meet you."

Although I had a fake smile on my face and returned to my seat, I still felt like I was going to vomit. I never imagined that they would really call me that. Class F was really horrible.

Because of my feelings, the self-introductions never seemed to end.

Just when I nearly fell asleep from the monotonous introductions and names, someone opened the door. A girl stood at the entrance, putting her hand on her chest and trying to catch her breath.

"S-sorry I'm… l-late."

"What?"

Everyone shouted, but this was expected. When something like this happens, anyone would be shocked.

"Actually, you came at just the right time. We are introducing ourselves now. Please introduce yourself to the class, Himeji."

"O-Okay! My name is Himeji Mizuki. Nice to meet you…"

Himeji used a voice even smaller than her petite body.

Her skin was as white as new snow. The long and soft hair down to her back showed the gentle nature of its owner. With her cute appearance, she truly stood out in a class filled with guys.

However, her beautiful outlook was not why everyone was shocked.

"I have a question!"

One of the guys who had already introduced himself raised his right hand.

"Ah, y-yes, what is your question?"

Being questioned immediately after stepping into the classroom, Himeji couldn't hide her surprise and nervousness, but her actions were reminiscent of a cute little animal's. It was so cute.

"Why are you here?"

What an impolite first question.

But this was the same question everyone in the class wanted to ask.

Her cute outlook did attract attention, but more importantly, her marks were very high. She had the second-highest score on the enrollment exam, and she was always amongst the top ten.

A good student like her shouldn't be in Class F. No matter who you ask, the answer would be that she belongs in Class A.

"About this…"

With a nervous look on her face, her body stiffened up, and she said:

"I had a fever during the placement test…"

After hearing that, the entire class nodded as if to say, "So that's why."

Leaving in the middle of an exam results in a zero grade. In other words, she didn't finish the placement test last year, so she was allocated to Class F.

Listening to Himeji's answer, many people in the class started saying their own excuses.

"Now that I think about it, I was allocated to Class F because of fever as well."

"Yeah, it was chemistry, right? That was hard."

"I didn't do well because I heard that my brother was involved in an accident."

"Shut up, you singleton."

"My girlfriend didn't let me sleep the night before the test."

"Yeah, right. That's the biggest lie I've ever heard."

These guys were more idiotic than I could imagine.

"Nice… nice to meet you."

During the noisy discussion, she ran to the space between Yuuji and me. I never thought that I would be in the same class as her, never mind sit next to her. To be honest, my heart was beating wildly. She was really very cute, and it made me think that welcoming her in a lousy classroom like this should be a serious crime.

"I am so scared…"

Himeji sighed and lied on the table when she got to her seat.

Great! Since we were sitting so close together, this was a great chance to talk! Our love would start from this incident, and eventually, we would become destined lovers. That's right; this first sentence would be the key to the door of our happiness and future together.

"Hime-"

"Himeji."

Yuuji, who was sitting beside me, spoke and raised his voice over mine. Damn you, Yuuji! My future plan "From Classmates to the Red Carpet of Marriage: Our Springtime Meeting- 654 episodes" ended before it could play for more than 2 minutes! What am I supposed to show to the audience for the next 653 hours and 58 minutes!?

"Y-Yes? Is anything wrong?"

Himeji looked at Yuuji, panicked, and carefully straightened out her skirt. Was it because sitting on a cushion could easily wrinkle it?

"My name is Sakamoto, Sakamoto Yuuji. Nice to meet you."

"Ah, my name is Himeji. Nice to meet you."

She bowed her head deeply and gave a salute greeting. Her family education must have been very good.

"Well, are you still feeling sick?"

"I would like to know, too."

I unwittingly cut into the conversation. I was sitting beside her during the placement test, and she didn't look too well at the time. I wondered if she felt better now.

"Yo-Yoshii?"

Himeji was shocked when she saw my face. Did you have to be that shocked? Was I that ugly? No way, this was impo-

"Himeji, sorry that Akihisa's ugly face scares you."

What? What was going on here? Maybe Yuuji was trying to cover for me, but he was only making it worse.

"That… That's not true! You see, my eyes are filled with energy, and my face is slim and beautiful; I am not ugly at all! Actually, I-"

"Now that you mention it, your face doesn't look bad at all! Actually, I know someone who's interested in you!"

What? I never imagined that Yuuji would have such good information. I needed to confirm this.

"Eh? Who is…"

"Who… Who is it?"

Himeji's voice covered my voice. Well, it didn't really matter since we were asking the same question. It seemed like girls this age were interested in topics like this.

"I remember. Kubo…"

Kubo? Who was the girl with the surname Kubo?

"Toshimitsu, I think!"

Kubo Toshimitsu --> ♂ (Sex: MALE)

"…"

"Akihisa, are you crying secretly?"

I was stained now; I couldn't be a bridegroom anymore.

"Don't worry; half of that was a joke."

"What? What about the other half?"

"Oh, right. Himeji, are you feeling well?"

"I am fine now."

"Yuuji, what about the other half?"

Since Yuuji was ignoring me, I raised my voice to catch his attention.

"You over there, be quiet."

The teacher knocked the table a few times, the knocking sounds serving as a warning.

"Sorry-"

*Crashing sound*

Suddenly, the teacher's wooden table collapsed into wood chips. The table couldn't even take a few knocks; how bad did we have it here?

"…I'll get a new table to replace it. Please be patient."

The teacher felt embarrassed, and quickly stepped out of the classroom.

Once again, I realized how lousy our equipment was.

"Ah ha ha…"

Himeji had a forced smile on her face.

Looking at her like this reminded me that people like Yuuji and I deserved to study in a classroom like this, but it must be hard for a student like her.

Well, it was our own fault for not performing well in the test. Being able to take care of our own health was a kind of strength as well. But being allocated to Class F just because of leaving the exam due to a fever was ridiculous. They should have at least given her another chance.

Anger towards the unfairness of the placement test swirled up inside me. If that's the case, we should try our best to get some better equipment for her.

I talked to the class rep, who was yawning at the moment. "Yuuji, come here."

"What do you want?"

"We can't talk here; let's go to the corridor."

"Fine by me."

I stood up and walked towards the corridor. At that time, Himeji and I somehow made eye contact.

"Well, what's up?"

It was homeroom now and no one was in the corridor, so we could speak freely.

"About this classroom…"

Of course I meant this one.

"The Class F classroom? It's worse than I imagined."

"You also think so, right?"

"Of course."

"Have you looked at Class A's equipment?"

"Yeah, it's so different from ours. I've never seen a classroom like that before."

On one side was a classroom with a blackboard full of cracks and without even any chalk to write on it with, and on the other was a classroom with an expensive plasma TV. Nobody can accept a difference in treatment like this, right?

"I have an idea. Since we are second-years now, let's have a Summoner Test War!"

"A War?"

"Yes, and the enemy is Class A."

"Why?"

Suddenly, Yuuji looked at me with wariness.

"Nothing special; it is just that our classroom is really lousy."

"Don't lie to me. A person like you, who has no interest in studying, now wants to have a War over the equipment? We'd be more likely to win the lottery."

Damn! His sixth sense was still as good as ever.

"No… No, that's not right! If I didn't want to study, I wouldn't have chosen this school-"

"You chose this school because it's cheap and has a good reputation in universities, right?"

No! I explained my reason to him before.

"Ah, that's… It's because…"

What should I do? I couldn't think of anything better.

"It's because of Himeji, right?"

Shock!

Since my real intention was actually seen through by him, I unwittingly straightened my back.

"How… How do you know that?"

"You're so simple! I just tested you a bit, and you gave it away yourself."

The wary-looking eyes disappeared, replaced by Yuuji's smile. I was cheated!

"That's not the only reason-"

"Yeah, yeah, you don't have to explain anymore, I totally understand."

"I just told you, it's not what you think!"

Damn! I couldn't even communicate with this guy.

"Don't worry; even if you hadn't suggested it, I had already planned to declare war against Class A."

"Huh? Why? Yuuji, you're not studying either, are you?"

That's why he didn't care about the class equipment.

"I just want to prove that grades don't mean everything."

"?"

"I even came up with a plan to defeat Class A- Oh, the teacher's back! Let's get into the classroom."

Yuuji urged me to get in the classroom.

"Let's continue with the self-introductions."

After bringing in the new table (this one was lousy, too), homeroom continued.

"My name is Sugawa Ryou. My hobby is…"

The monotonous introductions continued as usual.

"Sakamoto, you're last."

"Roger."

Yuuji answered the teacher's call and rose up from his seat.

He kept his usual kidding mode on as he walked slowly towards the lectern with the dignity of a class representative.

"Sakamoto is the class representative for Class F, right?"

Facing Mr. Fukuhara's question, Yuuji replied with a nod.

It was the perfect match: the worst class rep for the worst class. Instead of saying it's an honor, it might actually be a shame.

But Yuuji didn't think like that. He stood confidently behind the lectern and looked down at us.

"I am the class representative of Class F, Sakamoto Yuuji. You can either call me 'Sakamoto' or 'class rep'."

Most of the students in the class didn't really care about who he was, since he was only the least idiotic of the idiots in Class F. Most thought that it was like the pot calling the kettle black.

"Now, I have a question for everyone."

He looked into everyone's eyes, and spoke slowly.

Maybe it was because he got the timing right, as everyone was looking at him now.

When he confirmed that he had everyone's attention, he moved his eyes to every corner of the classroom.

A classroom with the smell of mildew.

Old and dirty cushions.

Chabudai with dirt left from sweat.

We followed his sight, looking at these one by one.

"Class A has not only air conditioners but also adjustable chairs."

He took a deep breath, and calmly said:

"Are you dissatisfied?"

"Of course!"

The cries from the souls of every member in Class F rang through the corridor.

"Aren't you? Even I am dissatisfied with the current situation. As the class rep, I can see a big problem in here."

"That's right!"

"No matter how cheap the school fee is, it is unthinkable to let us use such equipment! We must tell the school to improve it!"

"We pay the same fees as Class A does, but the treatment is too different!"

Complaints were coming from everywhere in the class.

"You are right. Therefore…"

Satisfied with the reaction of the classmates, Yuuji showed a fearless smile on his face.

"As class rep, I have a suggestion."

Showing his tiger-tooth to his fellow comrades, he stated:

"I plan to declare a Summoner Test War against Class A."

Class F representative, Sakamoto Yuuji, had ignited the flames of war.