Ball of Nothing

Chapter 20 Memory Fragment 1

Now that I had the Blessings, there was only one other thing left to do before I went to Earth. Those memory fragments weren’t exactly material objects. They were part of the blessing that linked my mind to the Gods who gave me the Mind’s Eye blessing. That means there would be a total of six parts to this memory.

First up, it was Isis’ memory fragment. From Mind’s Eye blessing, there was a notification asking if I wanted to view the memory fragment now.

"Is this normal? Who is controlling Mind’s Eye to ask me this?"

Isis smiled. "Great One, Mind’s Eye is a blessing that your past self entrusted to us. We have no control over this. However, Great One from the past has left a message for the current Great One. These are the exact words, "I’ve done what I can. Now that I am no longer here, it is your turn to decide. Mind’s Eye is created from all the intelligence I have gathered, I now pass it to you to aid you in your journey.". Mind’s Eye is a system created for Great One by your past self, it can definitely be controlled by Great One now. Only you can alter the blessing."

Hearing the explanation made me feel as if there was a huge gap of information missing. How did I become so intelligent in the past? Why do I not have memories? I looked back at the prompted question and made my choice. Yes, I will view the memory fragments... all of it! I must find out what happened to myself and how it came to this.

With that, I felt a great force pull me away. Although I was still physically present, my mind was moved to another place and my eyes no longer saw what was in front of me. The images came through my mind and I could only watch.

***

That familiar sense of emptiness greeted me in the memory. However, I could not see my past self. It was pitch black like the darkness in the void I rested in before the newbie God introduced light.

(*sigh*)

Was that my past self’s thoughts?

(This is boring. It’s the same thing over and over again. Seriously... there should be a limit to this.)

What’s that all about?

(That’s it! How about trying something different this time?)

*silence*

Um... did my past self forget something? It’s been a while now but nothing happened. Seriously, why was this part of Isis’ memory fragment? How is this important in helping me remember anything? It’s what I’ve experienced the whole time before the newbie God invaded my territory.

(Yes... yes... this is not working.)

Oh wow. My past self was really dumb. How did I acquire intelligence enough to create Mind’s Eye with this level of thinking? For an existence without a body, the mind was everything. How did I make it out of there?

(I know! Since I am the only existence here, why not make another?)

... As splendid as that sounded, how?

(Oh right. I can’t. There’s nothing here but me. If only there was another of myself...)

There was a time I wished that too. But from what I tried, it was worse than the silence. To have another existence exactly like myself was infuriating. I felt like I lost some intellect arguing with myself over the same things. Everything my other self spoke was repeated by me at the same time. It was a really pointless experiment, one that I never bothered repeating. I bet my past self would do something similar and split my consiousness into two parts.

*crack*

Yes, there it was, a never-ending cycle I suppose. The paths we took were the same and I bet at the end of this whole memory, my past self would give up and take another nap.

(Oh nice! It worked. Hi there, I’m you.)

((I know.))

(Oh. Well, in case you have no idea why you’re here... I created you from me because I was bored.)

((In case you didn’t know... I’m part of you. Yes, I am aware of that. However, I have no topic of conversation to discuss with you. You won’t be able to give me an opinion different from mine. It’s simply a waste.))

...

That was what happened for me too. I remember getting angry and challenged my other half to a contest of coming up with a different opinion. The first to do so wins. I took the bait of course even when there was no meaning to the competition. The debate lasted forever and in the end, we took a nap. After the nap, I found that the other half had merged back. It was a disappointing attempt and I never tried it again.

(In that case, shall we compete? I’m currently thinking of a way to relieve my boredom. Shall we come up with a way to have different opinions?)

((I don’t think that’s possible. If it were, we would have done it before this. In fact, isn’t this the eighth time you’ve split the consciousness into halves? No, maybe the ninth time. The outcome would still be the same. It didn’t matter if it was a contest about speed, intellect, variety or calculations... the outcome will still remain the same.))

(You sound so confident. Did you know that I didn’t split the consciousness into exact halves this time? You have lesser than me. Surely the outcome would be different.)

Now this surprised me. I never thought that it would be possible to split the consciousness into something that wasn’t equal. Could this be the reason why I lost my memories? Did my past self succeed?

((Fine. We’ll try it once more. How will we compete?)

(The usual. We will think of a way to counter the other party. I’ll go first. Water.)

((Sponge.))

(Fire.)

((Ice.))

(Heat.)

((Wind.))

(Stone.)

The memory played out a very familiar game. Neither side appeared to be winning even after a few hundred counters. Then, something interesting happened.

(Intellect.)

((Experience.))

(Hold it right there. Even with experience, one cannot simply overcome intellect. There is a difference in capability.)

((That may be true but without experience, the one with intellect can always falter.))

A difference of opinion! There it was! I’m amazed that my past self managed to succeed. Will this be how the Gods were created?

Before I could view more, the memory fragment ended.

[Would you like to view Memory Fragment 2/6?]

What a ridiculous question! Without hesitating, I answered yes.