Be Eaten Up with Love

At the moment when my uncle took the baby away, I heard the little guy crying. I
couldn't control my mood any more. I rushed forward and took the baby back
from my uncle's hands, coaxing: "baby, don't cry, what should mom do? What
can I do to keep you here? "
It was better to have a short pain than a long one. After watching for a while,
officer Wu asked someone to hold the baby in my arms to my uncle.
I took the child's small hand. Tears ran down my cheeks, and even my voice was
hoarse: "how can I let him go? My child...Oh...My child! "
After he took over the child, uncle was also very sad. He could not help but look
at me: "Lydia, uncle must help you take care of the child. You can rest assured
that when you get out of prison, you can come to pick up the child."
After saying that, uncle walked with heavy emotion, holding the child and never
looking back.
Until the child's cry gradually went away, my defense line at the bottom of my
heart finally collapsed. Looking at them that had gone far outside the iron door, I
cried sadly. Holding the iron door crazily, I fell on the ground
Officer Wu supported me up and sent me back to the prison.
In the room, I went to the bedside without thinking anything. I looked at the
baby's sleeping quilt and touched the baby's clothe like my soul disappearing.
Holding the baby's things, I shed tears silently.
When sister Cai and A Lai saw me like this, they took a look at each other,
collected all the things in my hands and put them into the cabinet.
"Lydia, take these things out on the day you get out of prison. The baby has
already left. You can't be decadent. Only by making a good perform can we get
out as soon as possible. " The cabinet was locked and A Lai handed me the key.

"A Lai, it will take three years to see the baby. I don't know how to go through. I
don't know whether he will live well or grow up healthy and safely. Three years
later, when I get out of prison, my child will be nearly four years old. Will he know
me and hate me...A Lai, about my child, what should I do? I regret so much.
What should I do? "
Seeing that I was so heart-broken, sister Cai and A Lai couldn't organize words
to comfort me. After all, the pain of losing the son and the pain of separation
between mother and son were not something others can understand.
They were there, waiting for me to vent my emotions quietly, without saying
anything. I cried for a long time until the eyes became red and my throat was in
bad condition. I was curled up in the corner alone.
I can't walk out, and other people can't walk into my inner world. In those days, I
was like a doll without any thoughts. I didn't eat or drink. My condition was
extremely bad. Many people thought about many ways and tried to persuade me
but I still didn't have any reactions.
For a mother, the child was the hope. Without the child, all hopes in my spiritual
world have been destroyed. Every minute and every second in prison was
suffering. I knew that even if it went on like this, it won't work. I can't see my child
or get out of prison right now.
Even if I knew , how hard was it to cheer up?
Until the third day, police officer Wu asked the psychiatrist in the prison to help
me. She found out that I had some mild depression. Negative emotions made me
lose interest in the outside world. I feel depressed all day long. After the
psychiatrist gave me an assessment and the prison issued a certificate, she
treated me systematically.
Because if this continued, depression may turn into mental disorder.

It took me half a year to treat the depression intermittently, and then it became
better slowly. I came out from being totally immersed in my own world.
In addition to the insomnia at night because of missing my baby, my state was
much better. Of course, thanks to the help of the psychiatrist, I have renewed my
hope of seeing my child.
Now, the only hope supported me to work and live was my child!
As long as I thought about my good performance and my child waiting outside for
me to get together, my negative attitude would become positive.
Every visit of relatives in prison was regulated. At the second year, I met Merlin
and Frank who came to visit me.
Interestingly, Merlin did not come with Frank together, but they appeared one
after another.
Merlin and I just chatted a little. Frank appeared. He didn't have time to greet me.
When he saw Merlin, he grabbed her and asked in a sharp voice, "why don't you
see me? Why hide from me?"
Merlin was a little flustered and didn’t looked at his eyes,"how do you know I will
come here? You let someone to investigate me? Frank, the leopard can’t change
his spots. As I said, we're finished. We won't have any relationship in the future.
Don't pester me. "
Merlin's refusal made the man a little angry, but Frank did not immediately argue
with Merlin about it, but decided to change the place to talk about it later privately
.
I haven't seen Merlin and Frank for more than two years. I didn't know what
happened between them.

Carefully looking at the man and woman who had different expressions. Frank
didn’t change at all. He had a little debauchery. The only difference was eyes
fixing on Merlin. The eyes were no longer indifferent, but doting and tender.
Merlin's temperament has changed a lot. The cowardice has disappeared and
she has become very powerful.
"Lydia, why do so many things happen? Alan is the mastermind of that event! It is
such a joke. What can you do in the future? When do you get out of prison?
What are you going to do in the future? " Merlin looked at me anxiously and said.
I smiled. It didn't matter to me in the future. As long as I can go back to my child,
even the hard life was sweet.
"It has more than two years to go out. Merlin, you know? The days are so long.
Every night is a torment for me. "
We talked a lot, about the development of Merlin outside and her position in the
entertainment circle. After talking about the complicated things between her and
Frank, I listened carefully to her vivid description. From her words, I seemed to
see everything happened to her in the past two years.
Having said so much, Merlin suddenly mentioned Wayne.
He had been treated in the United States for more than half a year after his injury
two years ago, and returned home only after his injury was cured. When she was
with Frank, Merlin followed Frank to a banquet at Gilbert family. At that time, she
happened to see Wayne, who had just returned from the United States.
"You don't know how cold he was when he saw me. He mocked me as he talked
with Frank. The most annoying thing was that he even taunted me in front of so
many people that I was a hen which can't lay eggs. I was so angry that I slapped
him. At that time, Wayne's face darkened and almost let the security guards drive
me out. "