Caelus Online

92. Frustrated?

“Well, I have noticed that my body is expressing emotions like laughter a little more when I’m relaxed. I assumed it was because of the change as you suggested, but that was the extent of what I had noticed. Well, that was at least until the last couple of days where I noticed I was becoming quite irritable. As for my… acting feminine. It’s a mix between forcing myself to get used to my new circumstances and not wanting to stand out too much with odd behaviour.”

Roxanne’s uncontrolled laughter came through Aurora’s phone's speaker causing her to move the phone away from her ear. Loud sounds may not hurt her as much as before thanks to her defence stat, but that did not mean it was any less uncomfortable for her ear.

[Oh my god Aurora, are you serious? You literally draw attention by existing due to your beauty, and you are worried how people will look at you if you are not the perfect personification of femininity? Tomboys exist you know!] 

Roxanne burst into another bout of laughter while Aurora covered her face with her free hand.

“Come on, you know what I mean, I have to develop a perfect professional reputation from scratch, and acting as if I’m confused between being a guy or girl would only end up with people’s opinion of me being tarnished. And besides, becoming some form of tomboy will only do my beauty disservice - something my pride won't allow.”

Roxanne attempted to control her amusement as her voice rang through the phone in a far quieter and teasing tone, much to Aurora’s relief.

[Sure, I can accept the bit about professionalism since big business has those sorts of expectations, but doing your beauty a disservice? When you can literally wear any sort of clothing and still look good? Get out of your big bad boss persona and be truthful like before. Admit it, you just want to act like your ideal woman.]

Aurora let out a deep and exasperated sigh at Roxanne’s teasing. She knew that it was coming as soon as her friend started laughing, but there was nothing she could do. Her apparent period of grace from Roxanne’s teasing was apparently up.

Although it was not as if she minded. Now that she had managed to get her head somewhat straight and was working towards becoming accustomed to her new life, she didn’t mind being teased and joked about. It felt like things were returning to normal and that her friends were not walking on eggshells around her.

Well, that was with the exception of Tyrell, but the guy had his inner joker who would probably explode out of him if he restrained himself too much. Comedy was a cornerstone of his personality after all.

“Ugh, fine. I swear if it were not for you guys I would be living a happy life where I could just be stoic and never have to reveal any inner secrets that would just end up being used as ammunition for unrepentant teasing.”

[You love us all really! But returning to the previous serious topic, I can only think of a few possibilities of what might be causing your… emotional outburst. The first idea that came to my mind was hormones… and by extension a serious question. Are you on your period?]

Aurora suddenly choked on nothing as she heard Roxanne’s question. She could feel the heat of embarrassment on her cheeks and neck as the teasing redhead brought up such a topic in a serious tone. 

When she was a guy, talking to a woman about ‘that time of the month’ was a massive faux pas that would land oneself in deep trouble. But now a woman was not only the one to bring it up, but also in the context that she, herself, might be on her period and that it was the reason she was becoming cranky.

She could only feel her embarrassment and shame rising as she glanced into the rearview mirror to see, much to her relief, that Baker had seemingly not not heard anything or noticed her expression, and that he was talking in a quiet voice to Harold who was helping to give her some privacy while she was on the phone. 

Averting her gaze to look outside of the window again Aurora spoke quietly into the phone.

“Seriously Roxanne?! Of all the things to say! That's one of the top things a guy shouldn’t talk about, and here you are just bluntly bringing it up?”

Aurora could only cover her face as she felt even more awkward after speaking. 

[Aurora… you are a woman now, so like, it’s a normal topic between women. But it is at least one plausible explanation.]

Aurora let out a sigh as she tried to calm the embarrassment she felt, lowering her voice as she responded to Roxanne so that the two at the front of the car could not hear what she was saying.

“I… am not experiencing that issue.“

Roxanne paused for a moment before she giggled again, her tone filled with amusement.

[Oh, you don’t want whoever is in the car with you to know about your womanly troubles?] 

Aurora just shook her head as she glanced at Harold and Baker at the front of the car. From the day's mental strain, Aurora could only handle so much of Roxanne’s teasing before she just gave up. Her tone became a mix of exasperation and resolve as she spoke up again.

“Alright then, I'm hanging up.”

Roxanne’s fake flustered voice came through the speaker as she jokingly tried to calm Aurora down.

[Alright, Alright, I will stop teasing you now. But you can't blame me, I have been holding back all this time!]

After taking a pause to clear her throat, Roxanne continued speaking.

[While I won't rule out a period, the accumulated stress will definitely have added to the issue. I don’t think it is the whole reason, especially given what you have been through, but it’s definitely a factor.]

Aurora silently nodded her head to herself in agreement before she responded.

“Yes, this has been the most pressure I have ever felt myself under, but I never reached the point where I felt I was drowning. Slaughtering those goblins served as a great stress reliever and since that night I have certainly been feeling a lot more relaxed."

Roxanne’s hum of acknowledgement floated through the speaker as she started to select her next words carefully.

[Now don’t get mad with this suggestion… but I feel it best explains your current troubles. Might you be sexually frustrated?] 

Aurora almost choked on nothing again, but before she could speak, Roxanne started to explain herself.

[I know it might seem like a big jump in reasoning, but hear me out. You suddenly became an incredibly attractive woman, and now constantly see such attractive beauty throughout the day in reflections or are reminded of it subconsciously by things such as your breasts. And that is not even mentioning the stripping and changing where you have an unfiltered view. And don’t deny it, I noticed you getting all hot and bothered when you were trying on clothes yesterday. 

If you weren’t getting horny over your new situation, then I would start questioning if you were ever a guy. And I assume that you have not… experimented yet, thanks to being far too much of a gentleman to take advantage of a woman, even if it's your own body, right?] 

Aurora’s mind stalled upon hearing Roxanne’s words. What her friend had said was true. She had found her eyes drawn down towards her body whenever her mind had the time to wander. It was particularly hard to ignore the fact she had a pair of breasts pushing her shirt outwards whenever she looked down. 

While she may be quickly becoming accustomed to such additional weights on her body, as soon as her attention turned to them, it was hard to push their existence from her focus and to the back of her mind. It was like trying to return to automatically breathing after giving it your attention, but far worse. 

And Roxanne was correct when saying that she had been becoming slightly flustered, and was fully aware that it was arousal plaguing her. Roxanne’s speculation seemed to become more feasible the further Aurora thought about it. Over the last few days since becoming a woman, she had far more important things on her mind, so something like releasing pent-up frustration was especially low on her priorities. 

That was not helped by her lack of any free time, if she was not busy dealing with matters related to the Branford Group, she was in Caelus rushing about. Of the few times she actually found herself in a bed recently, only once was she actually alone, but she was too tired and mentally drained to even think about exploring her body in a sexual way.

And then there was the other issue Roxanne had mentioned. She was too much of a ‘Gentleman’ to take advantage of a female body. It felt like a boundary that she should not cross, that as a former man, she should not take advantage of her gifted body to live out whatever sexual desires she had. 

It was the remnant of her pride as a man that she had been unconsciously clinging on to, and without her even realising, it had managed to cause her trouble. She had been in a situation where there was constant sexual stimulation, but due to time and her own pride, she had not had a chance to release her pent-up frustration.