Cambrian’s Emporium of Everything (Multiple Settings)

The Elusive Snorkack (Harry Potter)

Commission

Themes: Glory Hole, Exhibitionism, Oral Sex

Summary: Ginny makes the mistake of meeting up with Luna after the latter returns from a summer trip to Sweden. She then makes the additional mistake of asking Luna how it went.

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Her first mistake is doing the sensible thing, Ginny will realize later with the benefit of hindsight. After all, what was she supposed to do when her next door neighbor and childhood friend, Luna Lovegood, returned from backpacking in Sweden over the summer? She was SUPPOSED to meet up with Luna and touch base with the spacy witch, right? She was SUPPOSED to ask Luna how her trip went!
 
The first sign that something is wrong, however, is when Ginny asks Luna that very simple question… and the normally smiley young blonde’s face abruptly sours as she scowls mightily.
 
“Hmph. It wasn’t all bad I suppose… but it was quite disappointing to find out that my parents were teasing me when I was younger.”
 
Ginny could only blink as Luna pulled out a big thick tome. She called it her ‘personal discovery journal’, but when she opened it up most of the pages were filled with magical moving pictures and while there was plenty of scribbled writing along the sides, it was obviously more of a photo album than anything else.
 
“Don’t let Daddy know I’m onto him, alright? I’m serious Ginny… I need you to swear to secrecy!”
 
Before Luna can go so far as to ask for an Unbreakable Vow or something equally ridiculous, Ginny makes sure to quickly nod before doing something she’d learned from Hermione.
 
“Of course, Luna! Cross my heart and hope to die!”
 
As she makes the motion with her hands that go along with it, Luna blinks owlishly at her before shaking her head like GINNY was the crazy one rather than her. Still, it gets them moving on with the explanation. Luna doesn’t start with whatever she was talking about before. Instead, she goes through everything else she discovered on her trip.
 
“Most people don’t know this, but Sweden is actually filled with magical creatures that most of the Wizarding World continues to doubt the existence of. For instance, Nargles.”
 
Ginny blinks down at what appears to be a beautiful sunset. She watches as the trees in the photograph shift and sway back and forth a little bit for a moment before looking at Luna.
 
“Err… I don’t see them.”
 
Luna, of course, just sighs and rolls her eyes before pointing at the trees moving.
 
“See that? That’s the Nargles Ginny. Honestly.”
 
Already by that point, Ginny is starting to regret checking up on her friend. Luna is always a little… taxing to be around, but this? This encounter is proving more taxing than most. Even still, she just gives Luna as best a smile as she can, prompting the blonde to nod and then continue on. Except when Luna turns the page to the NEXT picture, Ginny squawks and has to cover her eyes.
 
“L-Luna!”
 
“What? Ginny, it’s just an animal, honestly. This is a Lamia. No one believes they’re real, but as you can see, they very much are. Though admittedly… I think I understand why your average wizard or witch has a hard time accepting Lamias to be real.”
 
Slowly, Ginny lowers her hand, staring at the moving picture. Why… why was the Lamia SHAKING them? Beside her, Luna just sighs and shakes her head.
 
“I think the idea of snakes with massive mammaries is just too nonsensical for people, even when presented with empirical evidence. After all, why would a snake need to produce milk? It’s quite odd.”
 
Staring down at the… Lamia… and its huge snake tits… Ginny looks over at Luna.
 
“A-Are you sure someone didn’t just… transfigure a snake? As a lark?”
 
The look Luna gives her this time is as fond and pitying as it is exasperated. Reaching over, Luna pats Ginny on the arm.
 
“See? There it is. Your mind just can’t accept what’s right in front of your eyes, so you look for other explanations in order to make you feel better about yourself.”
 
… Okay yeah, this encounter was DEFINITELY proving more taxing. Ginny shifts in her seat, almost ready to tell Luna that it was really nice catching up, but she had something she had to get to. It would have been a bald-faced lie of course, Ginny had absolutely nothing going on today. But in some cases, ‘nothing’ was better than struggling to understand the enigmatic mind of Luna Lovegood.
 
However, before Ginny can do precisely that, Luna turns the page off of the Lamia… and Ginny’s eyes go wide as she suddenly leans forward.
 
“Whoa! Who’s THAT bloke?”
 
Glancing down at the newest moving picture herself, Luna has a fond smile on her face as she explains.
 
“Oh that? That’s the gentleman who finally helped me to uncover the elusive Snorkack. And a secret my parents have kept from me for so, so many years.”
 
Wait, what? Looking at the incredibly handsome, and also incredibly befuddled Swedish man, Ginny finds herself commiserating with him. He’s interacting with Luna in the picture just as she’s interacting with Luna in real life right this moment. And he looks just as baffled and confused by Picture Luna as Ginny currently feels regarding Real Life Luna.
 
“See, I’ve been hunting the Snorkack for a long time. Ever since I first heard my parents talking about hiding one all those years ago. They told me that a Snorkack wasn’t something I could discover until I was older… but of course, I didn’t believe them. Unfortunately, all of my efforts to locate a Snorkack before graduating Hogwarts failed.”
 
Luna flips the page and Ginny squawks again at… well, at the sight of a huge-ass dick poking through a hole in a wall.
 
“Until this trip, that is. Since I was now an adult and on my own fact-finding mission for the first time without my father, I left no stone unturned. I even did the one thing that papa and mama told me never to do with Snorkack Hunting… I asked around. I asked everyone if they could help me find a Snorkack. And finally… I found one.”
 
“Luna, t-that’s-!”
 
The look Luna gives her shuts Ginny up immediately, her teeth clicking from the speed that her mouth closes. She’s never seen the blonde witch glare like that before.
 
“As I was saying… I met that handsome Swedish man from the last picture and when I asked him if he could show me to a Snorkack, he gave me directions to a private stall in a nearby bathhouse. Once there, I found this… and heard HIS voice through the wall. At the time, I believed him to have actually been a secret Snorkack Handler all along… I could hardly believe my luck.”
 
Ginny wants to say something. Oh by Merlin’s beard does she want to say something. But she very carefully bites her tongue and doesn’t say a WORD. Though, when Luna turns to the next picture, she can’t help the squeak that leaves her lips at the sight of Luna having moved to kneel in front of the hole in the wall and… and the big fat dick protruding through it. If nothing else, that handsome Swede was also quite well-hung…
 
“The… ‘handler’ directed me in showing the ‘Snorkack’ affection. It was enormous, hairy, flaccid, and quite wrinkled, so I assumed it to be a rather aged specimen. Interacting with a Snorkack directly was all I’d ever wanted, so of course I followed his instructions to the letter.”
 
Luna flips the page again and Ginny finds herself staring with wide eyes and a bright red face as Picture Luna can be seen stroking the cock and kissing the tip.
 
“I was instructed in how to properly show it affection by massaging its sore trunk, as well as getting its shy head to poke out. Over time, the Snorkack grew… large. Thick. And lost all of its wrinkles. I then thought that it was actually a younger specimen, despite the amount of hair.”
 
Ginny’s mouth opens and closes like a goldfish, but no sound comes out. She already knows that Luna knows, so at least she’s not the one who has to explain to her friend that she got had at a Swedish Glory Hole of all places. But at the same time, she can’t help but be a little mesmerized by the sight of Picture Luna, clearly thinking that she’s finally getting the chance to directly interface with the magical creature of her dreams. And in the end… it’s just a dick. A big, honkin’ dick.
 
She mustn’t laugh. She mustn’t. Not even at the realization that little Luna all those years ago must have walked in on her parents being frisky and playing a game of ‘Hide the Snorkack’, only for them to have to think fast when the inquisitive blonde asked WHAT a Snorkack even was. Merlin… what a mess.
 
“I took lots of pictures, as you can see. The handler wasn’t so sure about that, but he never stopped me so I’m able to show you my documented journey now. I also asked questions about the Snorkack’s diet, though the handler was evasive in answering said questions… for what are obvious reasons in hindsight.”
 
Again, Luna flips the page. This time, Ginny’s eyes widen even further as she watches her friend fully fellate a man’s cock through a hole in a wall. Luna bobs up and down with a gusto that… that could only be brought about by the young woman’s incredible love for fantastical magical creatures… both real and imaginary.
 
“He said that Snorkacks loved getting sucked on and everything I’d seen so far told me he was right. So I went ahead and… well, you can see.”
 
Whoa, did Luna sound a little embarrassed? She’d now witnessed two first time events! Number one, Luna glaring, and number two, Luna embarrassed! Or wait… no, make it three because she’d also never seen Luna sucking a cock before. Ginny’s blush intensifies when she realizes she’s just… watching that for some reason. She really SHOULD look away. It’s just… it’s a very nice cock.
 
“Finally, the ‘Snorkack’ sneezed on me.”
 
Given everything else, the end of Luna’s tail is somewhat… anti-climactic. But also incredibly expected? Luna turns the page again and reveals an animated photograph of her taking a facial. Picture Luna flinches back as she winds up coated in cum from her forehead to her chin. Blinking rapidly in the photograph, she reaches up and wipes it away just in time for the magical picture to loop back around to the start as she takes the fresh load all over again.
 
For a long moment, the two of them just sit there in silence staring down at the picture in quiet contemplation. Or at least for Luna it seems to be quiet contemplation. For Ginny… she’s squirming in her seat, blushing profusely. In the end though, she can’t contain herself. She can’t help but ask the obvious question sitting right in front of her.
 
“If you… if you thought it ‘sneezed’ on you, how’d you find out you’d been had, Luna?”
 
At this, Luna lets out a long drawn-out sigh… and then turns the page AGAIN to reveal another moving picture, this one of her on her back getting railed by the same man from before! This time, seeing both people fully naked and in bed, Ginny does squawk and cover her eyes. But Luna pays her little heed as she shrugs and runs her fingers over the picture.
 
“It wasn’t until a week later, after he began courting me and we wound up in bed together that I realized I’d been had. Not by him, of course. He thought I was in on the joke the entire time. He assumed that we were roleplaying… which I must admit, now that I know how roleplay actually works, it IS quite fun. Alas… no, I was had by my parents, who assured me all the time that once I was older, I would eventually find Snorkacks and have to learn how to ‘hide’ them myself. Tch. Imagine my surprise when he dropped his trousers in front of me for the first time and I saw the ‘Snorkack’ from the bathhouse dangling from between his legs…”
 
Slowly lowering her hand, trying not to spend too much time staring at the picture of Luna getting railed, Ginny looks over at her friend with an intense blush.
 
“W-Well… I’m happy for you Luna, I suppose. He’s a very handsome… very well-endowed man.”
 
Luna bobs her head up and down in agreement at that but stays quiet. Ginny, meanwhile, bites her lower lip as she continues to try and fail at avoiding staring too much at the picture.
 
“I guess… I guess I have to wonder… just why are you telling me all of this, L-Luna? This all seems… very personal.”
 
Tilting her head to the side, Luna looks as spacy and dreamy as ever as she gives Ginny a soft smile.
 
“Because friends tell each other everything, Ginny.”
 
Before she can counter that, Luna’s eyes suddenly sharpen, as does her smile.
 
“Plus, we were hoping you would join us on our next rousing game of ‘Hide the Snorkack’. If you wanted, of course.”
 
Ginny’s eyes widen at that as she realizes Luna’s end goal at long last. Never in a million years did the youngest Weasley think Luna Lovegood of all people would invite her to a threesome. And yet… and yet…
 
Staring down at the moving photograph and the pleasured expression on Picture Luna’s face, Ginny squeaks out her response.
 
“O-Okay…”
 
Doing the sensible thing and trying to catch up with her friend was certainly a mistake in hindsight. But then… in for a knut, in for a sickle, right?

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