Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 288 GOTTA COLLECT EM ALL

The second Dragon ball was sitting on a beach. Out in the open for all to see. The next was at the bottom of the ocean. Zuina and I disrobed and jumped off Nimbus. Both diving down as far as we could we found it hidden in a reef. Swimming together we marveled at all the colors and fish as we searched the area over and over. I could hold my breath for 30 minutes and Zuina could do longer, but she always came up for air with me. Enjoying the company as we leisurely looked for Dragon Balls.

The 4th ball was being sold as an amulet in a pawn shop. I had to pay a whole gold coin for it. The man’s eyes about dropped out of his head when he saw the intricate design on the coin. Positive that it was from some ancient civilization he practically threw the Dragon Ball to me. He had no idea what kind of fortune he gave up for 1 gold, but I wasn’t about to tell him. 

The 5th ball was in a major city. A major city that had a huge festival going on. 

“Shall we?” I asked as we stood outside the festival. Large booths set up, some rides in the back, there were hundreds of people all around the place. 

“Do what?” She asked, unsure. 

“Check it out,” I said.

“But the ball is that way,” she said.

“Who cares. Let’s have some fun,” I said. Grabbing her hand I pulled her into the festival. It wasn’t long until she got into it. Walking down the lines of booths she began stuffing her face as I gave her zeni to buy what she wanted. Her cheeks full I couldn’t help but notice how innocent she was. At home in the wilderness, or most anywhere, Zuina took it all as it came at her. 

We played some games. Winning a stuffed bear for her she took it happily and we walked hand in hand through the place. 

“What do you want to do with your life?” I asked. 

“This,” she said without hesitation.

“Hold hands?” I asked, looking down to ours. 

“No, I mean travel the world,” she said. 

“Oh you don’t want to hold hands?” I asked as I pulled mine away. Her grip tightened. 

“I didn’t say that,” she said, her voice stern. 

“You just did,” I laughed from the seriousness in her voice. 

“Not what I meant,” she said, rolling her eyes. I didn’t know how to take her. One minute she was an innocent girl, then the next she was rolling her eyes like every woman I had ever known. “I like this.” 

“Good, me too,” I said, dragging her along. “So, you want to travel the world? Haven’t you been all around it?” 

“I have,” she said. “And above it. But I live for this. Going somewhere new. Experiencing it all. There’s a lot I haven’t done yet.”

“I agree,” I said. “Like kiss.” She turned to me, confused. I leaned forward and gave her a peck on the lips. “There now we have.” She blushed deeply as her eyes darted this way and that. “Come on. I think I’ve found just the thing for you.” Dragging her forward I pushed her toward a grouping of tables.

“What?” She asked, looking around. 

“It’s not an eating contest,” I said sadly. “But looks like they have a challenge. If you can eat the Meatvalanche in 10 minutes you get the meal and a shirt for free.” I pointed to a sign that said that near the booth. There was a picture of a pile of meat overflowing off of a plate. I walked up to the counter and ordered the very expensive meal. 

The woman at the counter rang the bell, drawing people’s attention. “We have our first challenger to the Meatvalanche!” She yelled. “What is your name, sir?” 

“Oh not me, her,” I said pointing to the confused girl behind me. “Her name is Zuina.” 

“Perfect. Let’s hear a round of applause for the first to fall to the Meatvalanche,” she said. People clapped half heartedly but went about their day. I was honestly getting excited. She had been stuffing her face since we got there. Finally Zuina would face a true challenge. 

After about 10 minutes the meat was cooked. I guessed they had prepped for such an occasion. Zuina was given a bib and the plate of food was as overflowing as advertised. Bacon, sausage, steak, brisket, potato wedges, pork tenderloin, mozzarella sticks, and pretty much every delicious food I could think of was piled on it.

“I shouldn’t,” Zuina said. Her stomach growling as she stared at the mountain of food. 

“You should. This is a tournament,” I said. “Don’t show it any mercy, Zuina. Win the challenge.” She nodded quickly, her eyes turning into T-bone steaks as she salivated. People stopped to watch and the timer started. Zuina started on it immediately. Taking huge bites she hardly stopped to enjoy it as she practically inhaled the food. The pile bigger than her head she never stopped chewing. A smile on her face more and more people stopped to watch as she continued on. 

When she made it to the potato wedges she finally took a break to drink her water. But the rest was inhaled soon enough. Practically gone in 2 minutes flat people watched in stunned silence. Then the crowd cheered as they realized it was over. Zuina blushed but was soon paraded around by the people that owned the booth. Excited that someone beat the challenge they were getting more orders for the challenge as Zuina was stuffed in a T-shirt that said she won the challenge. 

“Did I do good?” She asked, surprised. 

“You did awesome,” I admitted. “Where do you put all that food?”

“No idea,” she said, blushing. Looking down to the shirt I could feel the joy emanating off of her. 

“Come on, want to get on a ride?” I asked. She nodded and we were off to the ferris wheel. Though she could fly up to the clouds, the Saiyan woman still enjoyed the experience. Looking out onto the city I forced myself to calm down and enjoy the moment. 

Once we were done we left to go on our quest once more. Zuina was more at ease around me as we walked through the streets. Following the radar we eventually found the Dragon Ball in the nest of a large bird on a building. 

Off to our next Dragon Ball it got dark so we decided to camp. “Want to sleep under the stars?” She asked, nervous. 

When I had gone off with Bulma’s dad he had shown me a wide range of capsules. I had considered getting a plane or motorbike. But I could move around on my water platform easily enough. I opted for a large 3 bedroom house. With electricity, showers, and hot water, it was a far better capsule to have at my beck and call. 

“I’d love to,” I decided on. If we used my capsule she would probably opt to sleep in different rooms. 

Zuina landed us in an open field. “Bulma said it’s best to not sleep next to-” 

“I don’t mind,” I said with a shrug. Laying down on the grass I stared up at the impossibly clear stars. “Care to join me?” 

“Uh sure,” Zuina said, hiding a smile. She laid next to me without touching me. 

Trying my luck I offered, “You can get closer…you know, for body heat.” 

“Okay,” she mumbled. Moving slightly closer I pulled her to me. She fought a little but not much. Setting her on my shoulder she stiffened but eventually relaxed as she looked up to the sky. Quiet for a long time our heartbeats synched as we laid there. 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve traveled with someone,” she admitted. 

“Oh yeah?” I asked. “When was the last time?” 

“Bulma maybe,” she admitted. “Back when we met and looked for Dragon Balls.” 

“What did you wish for with them?” I asked. 

“The first time? My friend wished for comfortable underwear,” she mumbled. I barked a laugh. 

“Dang, were they comfortable?” 

“I don’t know,” she said giggling. “Another time I asked for a friend of mine to be brought back to life.”

“Oh yeah. Did it work?” 

“Yeah. It was the dad of my friend,” she said. “I haven’t thought about that in forever. The last time I did it, I had to bring my other friends back to life.”

“You have a lot of friends,” I said. “Who killed them?” 

“A few years ago there was this bad guy,” she said with a sigh. “King Piccolo. He killed Master Roshi, Chiaotzu, had my best friend Krillin killed.” 

“I think I remember hearing about that,” I said. “Did you beat him?” 

“I did. Hardest fight I ever had,” she admitted. “I had to kill him.”

“That’s too bad. Don’t like killing, I assume?” 

“No, it’s nasty,” she said. “I prefer to try to understand one another. I love fighting, but fighting to the death is stupid. Everyone has people they care about. There is no reason to make more people suffer. Killing is the easy solution. Giving up is so much better.” 

“What if you can’t give up?” I asked, genuinely curious. 

“What do you mean?”

“What happens if by giving up, you hurt those around you?” I asked. Thinking on my Challenges. The last thing I wanted to do was forfeit. 

“Then don’t lose,” she said, giving me a smirk.

“Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?” I asked. I honestly couldn’t get angry at that answer. One thing that all the protagonists had in common was they never gave up. Never surrendered. When they had every reason to lose, they pushed through. Making themselves stronger through sheer will power to save the day. I just wished I could be a protagonist.

“You’re comfortable,” she mumbled as she became quieter. 

“Thank you, you too,” I said, pulling her to lay her head on my pec. I guessed beating her in a fight allowed her to become a little passive to me. Letting out a sigh she relaxed into me. Her leg moving to my thigh it wasn’t long until we were both asleep. 

The next day I woke up to spooning her. Zuina was happily laying there awake. “Morning,” I whispered. She jumped a little. 

“Morning,” she said, not moving. I reached my hand around her waist, pulling her closer. She let it happen and we laid like that for a long while. It wasn’t until her stomach growled that we had to get moving. “Can we go back to that challenge at the festival?” 

“Nope, but we can find you some food,” I assured and we were on our way. 

After she ate a few plates of food at a diner we got on the trail of the 6th Dragon Ball. This one was hidden in the den of a large lizard. Zuina blasted it away for her second breakfast and we were off to find the 7th and final. 

It took the rest of the day but the radar caught scent of it. Unfortunately for us it was in a government facility. Or at least that’s what it looked like to me. 

“How do you normally do this?” I asked Zuina. 

“When I was younger I’d ask them for the Dragon Ball,” she admitted. 

“Did that ever work?”

“Nope,” she admitted. 

“Didn’t think so. Come on. I have an idea,” I said. Parking ourselves near the road that led to the facility we waited for a car with a couple people in uniform. Stepping in front of their car they screeched to a halt. 

As the driver yelled at us I put him and the passenger in a Genjutsu. Putting them to sleep was easy enough. Pulling them out of the car we let them sleep it off in the woods. 

“What will this do?” Zuina asked. I did a transformation jutsu and turned into the driver. 

“Woah, that's cool,” she admitted. Her eyes wide as she studied my face. 

“You want me to turn you into that one?” I asked. 

“Can you?” She asked. I nodded. “And…I can turn back?”

“Yeah. It’s just an illusion,” I assured. 

“Oh good. I’d hate to be a guy,” she mumbled. 

“I wouldn’t have you any other way,” I said and transformed her into the higher rank officer. I was soon driving us to the base. Getting past the front gate was easy enough. 

We parked underground and followed the radar to get closer to the ball. “This is so cool,” she whispered in a very girlie voice that didn’t match the general or whoever she was pretending to be. “Is this something you could teach me?”

“If you promise to teach me how to use Ki, I’d be happy to.” Then I remembered it required chakra. Which had a less than innocent method to activate. “Uh I mean, eventually.”

“Eventually? Why?” She asked, disappointed. 

“Well, it’s uh,” I whispered as we got into an elevator. “It’s kind of embarrassing how I have to awaken it.” 

“How do you do it?” She asked, confused. 

Unsure how to broach the subject I thought it best to be tactful. “You ever uh walk in on Bulma and Yamcha being girlfriend and boyfriend?”

“Oh, you mean when they have sex?” She asked loudly. 

“Ugh yeah,” I said. Blushing in embarrassment. It felt weird saying this to such an innocent girl. “It requires that.”

“What?! Why?” She asked, believing me wholeheartedly. 

“I have this skill to gift it,” I said slowly. “But it requires that.”

“I’ve never done…that,” Zuina said. The face she was wearing didn’t blush, but I guessed she was. The elevator chimed and we walked out into a busy hall. We both quieted as we moved closer to the ball. 

We made it to a lab when we were right on top of the dragon ball on the radar. Unfortunately Zuina’s keycard didn’t work so we had to go to plan B. 

“Think you can break this big metal door down?” I asked. 

“Oh yeah,” she said. Drawing her arm back she blew it away with one blow. A split second later alarms started blaring but we were already inside. Moving past scientists I found the Dragon ball inside a glass case. Lasers pointed at the small orb I guessed they were testing it. 

Breaking the ball out with a punch we grabbed it and ran. Pandemonium going on outside we escaped in the confusion. Zuina jumping on my ice platform we flew away as she held onto me this time. 

“You ever done that before?” She asked in my ear. I turned back but frowned. Ending her transformation I preferred her face than some older and balder general. 

“Broke into a government facility and stole something? Surprisingly no,” I said. “I mean I’ve broken into locked down places before. But never stolen anything.”

“No, I mean…what we were talking about…in the basement,” she whispered. 

“Ohhh sex?” I asked. “‘No.”

“I was told that was something you should save for someone special,” she said. “Like your husband.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” I said. “Guess if you want to learn the skill you’ll just have to marry me then.” I gave her my best smile as she blushed. As innocent as ever I was surprised how much her Spiritual Energy leaked joy. Nervous about what to do I flew us off in silence. She latched onto me more and we made it off into the sunset. 

—-

“So how do you do it?” I asked Zuina. 

“You face the balls. And shout the magic words,” she admitted. “The dragon will rise and you ask nicely for your wish. Do you know what you’re going to ask for?”

“I think so,” I said. “Okay you uh summon him.”

“You sure? What if I make my own wish?”

“What would you wish for? Another Meatvalanche?”

“Could I?” She asked. 

“No, why wouldn’t you wish for like a lifetime supply of them?”

“His powers not infinite,” Zuina said. 

“It’s food. Not some ungodly amount of elixir of youth,” I said. 

“I don’t know. That was a lot of meat,” she said, unconvinced. I chuckled as I waved her forward. The 7 dragon balls a couple of paces away the golden balls began to pulse and glow when we brought them together. 

Extending her hands out she studied them. Getting serious she yelled, “Arise Shenron!” Nothing happened for a moment. 

“That it-“ a lightning bolt streaked down hitting the 7 balls, deafening me as the night became cloudy and more thunder sounded from above. The 7 balls glowed brightly then a white light snaked out of them. 

Like a ball of pure energy I felt the Spiritual Energy skyrocket as it became more powerful. I stared up in awe as the white light continued to grow until a long snakelike dragon was revealed above our heads. 

“Who has summoned me?!” It roared. Zuina looked back at me. 

“Uh it is I, Great Shenron,” I said, growing nervous from how powerful the dragon felt. 

“Speak your wish,” the dragon ordered in a deep voice that sounded like creaking branches in a storm. 

“I wish to win my-“ my voice stopped as soon as I tried to say Challenges. “Fuck,” I cursed. I thought it was too much to ask, but I guessed I really couldn’t talk to anyone about them. 

“Speak!” Shenron ordered when I didn’t speak for a moment. 

“Sorry uh, I wish…” I really wanted to wish for all of my powers to be rolled into one. No more Nen, and Chakra, and Haki. Make it all one energy. But for some reason I held off. There had to be a better way to phrase it where I got everything I wanted. Or at least more than I currently had. 

“I wish…for you to change my body so that I can use my Ki and other internal energies as efficiently as possible!” 

I had struggled for the right words. Keeping it clear and all one sentence. I was worried that splitting it up into multiple sentences would make him judge the wish as more than 1. I was also hoping to get a bump in strength for my other powers. 

Shenron breathed heavily far above us as I waited for his answer. It felt a little wasteful for a being that could bring the dead back to life, but strength was all I needed. 

“It has been done!” Shenron roared. 

“What?” I asked, surprised. But the dragon began to glow. The 7 balls raising up in the air Shenron disappeared as the balls glowed brighter. 

Zuina jumped up as the 7 balls scattered. Grabbing the 4-star ball before it could get away she landed easily. Showing the gray stone of the ball she gave me a confused look. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked. 

“I don’t know. I don’t feel any different,” I said. Making fists I sensed my energies but there was no change. Then out of the blue my body was racked with intense pain. My teeth chattered as I felt a stronger pain than ever before. And with that I blacked out.