Canon Fodder

CHAPTER 422 DEALS

“A year ago I read an article that some scientists were tracking meteorites to find their points of origin,” Superman said into the camera. He was still in his classic red and blue skintight underwear/costume. 

“Superman reads articles?” Boomerang asked as he munched on his popcorn. We were sequestered at another back alley military compound. The closest to where the event occurred in Kansas, which actually wasn’t too far away. 

“Of course he reads articles,” June Moone said. “He knows how to read, unlike you.”

“Oh you’re a downright ornery cunt, even when you aren’t the pretty pink princess,” Boomerang laughed. 

“Quiet,” Deadshot barked. We were, of course, not the ones interviewing Superman and his busty sidekick. Both were answering all questions to the higher ups in the government while doctors tried to help the survivor from the other dimension. 

We weren’t important enough to get front-row seats. But the interview was being streamed to many countries at once to let everyone know why the Earth’s savior opened up a hole to some possible nightmare dimension. 

“I tracked down the scientist,” Superman said, stopping the popcorn-throwing fight June and Boomerang were having. It surprised me how quickly we all opened up to one another, though only being together for a few days. Life and death situations must have done that to everyone. 

“After telling my story to the man, he was able to identify that all the kryptonite on Earth fell during one meteor shower. Based on the location the meteorites were found, he extrapolated a general location they came from. With that information he was able to identify three solar systems in the general area. So I set out.”

“Without telling anyone?” The general opposite the interrogation table asked. We couldn’t see his or the other persons faces from the angle of the small screen. Just Superman’s. 

“I had planned on announcing it to the world,” Superman said. “Kind of a free pass for all the evildoers like that one movie. What was it? The Purge. Then when I got back, they’d have to watch themselves.”

“Holy hell! Superman is funny?” Boomerang roared in laughter as we all chuckled. 

“Wh-“ The other person said but was cut off by the general. 

“He’s joking,” the general said. 

Superman had a slight smirk on his lips. I was actually liking this version of him. Maybe he wasn’t so bad, Cavill or not. 

“No, I did not warn anyone. I wanted to find my home,” Superman said. “I set out. Since life can only be sustained at certain distances from a sun, I was able to limit my searches. By the third solar system I believed I found my home. The green kryptonite stone, distinct to my planet’s makeup, were imbedded in one side of a planet. Defacing half the planet. There was nothing left of my home so I searched there. After enough time I found one station on the far side of the planet. Inside were stasis cubes.”

“Your blonde friend?” The general asked. 

“Yes, she was the only person on that planet that survived,” Superman said. I could almost feel his sorrow from the television. No one joked anymore as we listened intently. 

“I took what I needed to bring her back here. Just outside of our system the power to her stasis cube failed and I rushed back to Earth. Once I had something to charge the system I brought her back. To my surprise, she woke up as soon as I released her.” He smiled wide. 

“She explained to me so many things that I didn’t know about Krypton. The only important aspects were that they were once very advanced. Spanning solar systems for millennia. Something happened and the Kryptonians became fearful of technology. Bringing everyone back to Krypton and the neighboring planet. By the time they found out the planet was dying it was too late to make spaceships. But not too late to open a portal to another dimension,” he said, locking eyes with the camera again. 

“It is called the Phantom Zone. It is a very unique dimension that was founded a long time ago. Inside the dimension, people wouldn’t age. No need for food or sleep. You would simply exist. When the people knew they couldn’t escape by ship, they began entering the zone in droves.”

“Fuck me,” I said. That was how Zod lived in canon. The place was apparently maddening, but it was their only choice. I could see why they did it. But why were so many dead in the Phantom Zone. Was it really that hard in there? Or was there something else I didn’t know?

“All in hopes that someone would bring them out,” he said. 

“Like you?” The general asked. 

“No, my father had built a spaceship for himself and my mother. Spaceships were illegal at that time, so it was risky. But I was born prematurely, and the planet was imploding faster than my father estimated. He scrambled to finish but only had enough space for me.”

“Did they expect your blonde friend to break them out?”

“Not that I know of,” Superman said. “They communicated with the other planet. But again, they didn’t trust technology. I believe they hoped to break themselves out.”

“And why didn’t they?” 

“I do not know. The…lone survivor will have to fill us in,” Superman said. After pausing for some time he finally spoke again. “Powergirl informed me that opening the phantom zone depended on location. To link the gate to where our planet was, we needed the remnants of our planet. That is why we began collecting kryptonite.”

“Yes,” the general said, opening a folder provided by Waller. “I see here that you had…taken the required amount from Lex Luthor-“

“That’s incorrect,” Superman said with a cocky smile. “We liberated much of the kryptonite from known criminals. I believe a few were individuals that I apprehended myself.”

“We weren’t-“ the general stopped talking. Probably getting a talking to from Waller. After some time he said, “moving on.” I smiled, curious if Superman simply waited for us to grab the kryptonite to make his move. 

In comics, I was fairly certain he could hear everything going on around the world. Scientifically speaking that sounded impossible since noise was simply vibrations in the air, which was at its core basically energy, and that energy would eventually be absorbed by something else, but I really wasn’t positive he couldn’t hear everything. I’d spent years now seeing one impossibility after another as I jumped worlds. Maybe he knew all about the Suicide Squad…and me yelling his name before the attack on Luthor’s place probably didn’t help. 

“Why did you decide to open this dimension in Kansas?” The other man in the room asked. 

“I…decided that the heart of America was the best place to do it,” Superman said. I was sure it was related to his home or spaceship. Maybe he hadn’t moved it to Antarctica or whatever the Fortress of Solitude was supposed to be. 

“What about the lone survivor?” The General asked. “Any idea who he is?” Superman shook his head, and what followed was a barrage of questions that really didn’t matter in the end. Except the last question anyway. 

“And what about the Kryptonite you used to link to the Phantom Zone?” The general asked. 

“What about it?” Superman asked, confused. 

“It has disappeared,” the general said. I began to whistle as I stood up. Trying to act nonchalant, of course I had taken it. Superman had refused to answer questions if anyone tried to take his spaceship and if they tried he would escape and move it somewhere else. While he negotiated this deal, I discreetly ran back inside the barn and took all of it. The majority of kryptonite was now safety stored in my own sub-space, it would be a nice addition to my growing collection. Who knew when I would need kryptonite next? 

I did of course. I had an inkling what would happen when the lone survivor of the Phantom Zone absorbed some yummy yellow sun rays. When all hell did break loose, I wanted to make sure I had kryptonite at hand. The questioning continued, and the members of the Suicide Squad talked. I busied myself at the lunch buffet until Rick Flag came into our secret bunker. 

“Walker, Waller wants to see you,” Flag said.

“Finally,” I said with a nod. Putting on my best smile, I strode toward him with all the confidence in the world. My arms swinging, the man didn’t hide his contempt for me as he escorted me out of the room. 

The bunker we were in was a ways away from the main military camp. More of a detention center for naughty military personnel it had bunks and stations for guards and a long gravel path that led to the main base. Outside, the day was growing dark. The adventure of the day wrapping up, I felt this was the perfect day to be let out of my prison sentence. 

While he walked in front of me, Flag was a mix of Spiritual Energy. Tired was the main one, of course. Having been wound up to the idea that he would have to challenge Superman, I was surprised he was standing. The stress of keeping a bunch of killer kids in line hadn’t helped, but above all he was a soldier. He wasn’t about to show how tired he was. 

“Going to go on some leave after this, Flag?” I asked. 

He sneered as I spoke, but fixed the gaze as he eyed me. “What’s it to you?”

“Nothing. Why do you hate me so much, again?” I asked. “I’ve been nothing but cooperative.”

“You’re full of shit, Walker,” he said. “You’ve been hiding powers. Keeping secrets. And a royal pain in my ass.” 

“Oh come, Flag. I’ve helped keep the others in line,” I said. He glared at me. “What? I did. I only said shit when those idiots thought about killing you outright.” 

“What?” He asked. Stopping in his tracks he turned to me slowly. 

“Do you really think they didn’t think about it?” I laughed. “Come on, man. What happened when Killer Croc attacked Waller? I was the one that brought everyone’s attention to him.” I smiled wide because it was true. Waller hadn’t been paying enough attention while she talked logistics around a table. Croc was making his way over to her and I spilled coffee on the map she was pointing at just before he attacked. “You have known murderers in your group. People that kill for simple slights, and you thought you could strongarm them? Are you stupid? These people ruled the prisons they were in. They are the worst of the worst, and you’re just one of many Captain America’s.” 

“Who?” He asked. 

“Nothing,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Next time you gotta watch these people, watch out for yourself. I won’t be here to help keep them distracted from killing you so that the next in line can take your place.”

“They wouldn’t have. You were all wired to explode,” he said. 

“Yeah, that worked out for me, didn’t it?” I asked, sneering at him this time. Acting offended that it happened to me we continued walking. When we got to the correct building, it wasn’t long until they made their first move. 

“Go ahead,” Flag said. Nudging his head toward the room, it wasn’t hard to see the move. 

“Knockout gas, or poison?” I asked. 

“What?” He asked, but his Haki gave him up. 

“Is the room going to be flooded with-” he made his move. Drawing his firearm I broke his wrist with extended fingertips. He cursed and made his move for the other gun. I slapped him hard in the face, making his head bounce off the cinderblock wall. He was knocked out, sliding down the wall like spit. I looked around, guards on their way I could feel that I would have to demonstrate more. 

“Waller! It will go easier for you if you just hear what I have to say!” I yelled. I couldn’t see her, but she was watching a few rooms away. Cameras all around me, I cursed. I knew it wouldn’t be so easy as declaring I was free. Rather than beating up some more lackeys I stepped into the room. It was bare except some padded walls and carpet. 

As I stepped in, the door shut and was locked on it’s own. It took a moment and a green gas was released from the HVAC vents above. Holding my breath it really could be anything, but I didn’t care. I was a Viltrumite, and could hold my breath for hours by this point. Nothing could hurt me, and if it did I would break through the wall. 

The gas was pumped in for a full minute. My vision blocked by the thick green smog of it I waited, and waited, and waited more. After an hour the return vents on the HVAC were slid open and clean air began recirculating inside. Once the room was clear again I asked, “Ready to talk yet?”

She wasn’t. Next came the guards with guns. I dealt with them. Shooting each in the foot with their own weapon before throwing them out of the room. Then came some weird super powered twins. They looked like shaolin monks with top knots. Both dressed like genies, they mirrored one another’s movements doing some sort of mesmerizing illusion. I played along with it and when they got close to attack I broke their legs and cut off their top knots. Hoping they would lose their chance at heaven. 

That was when Waller finally decided she wasn’t going to get me to fall asleep and get another bomb in my heart. When she had me escorted I could feel her annoyance and panic from so far away. I planned as I walked. It wasn’t long until I found her waiting for me in another interrogation room. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” She barked. The black woman far from the regal beauty she had been before. I was noticing that she was rather ragged. Stressed beyond belief, I needed to find out where the chink in her armor was. 

Instead of playing the idiot, I decided to go on the attack. “20 years in Azkaban!” I yelled. “20 years of my life wasted. I want fucking out, you dumb bitch.” She was surprised by the reaction. Though her face didn’t show it, she was starting to see that she had a lot of leverage on me, since she was the only thing standing between me and legitimate freedom. I didn’t feel like going on the run. Saving Superman’s friend or not, I would have to keep my eye out if the government wanted me back. 

“You fucking killed me. My Watch is done, that was the deal. For life. I saw it in the documents you had me sign,” I said.

“They most certainly did not say that,” she said. They didn’t but I was hoping that would work. “You’re here as long as I deem necessary.”

“That’s bullshit,” I said. “I know this whole Task Force Power Ranger X isn’t sanctioned. You got quite the black eye by not stopping Superman.” 

“Because of you!” She yelled, standing up. Despite the situation, she was pretty hot angry. Nice rack jiggling, her big eyes glaring at me, it was hard to look away from them. 

“I made the right call!” I yelled, mirroring her move to stand up. “Superman wasn’t planning shit. He just wanted to save his people.”

“And what if there are other aliens out there as advanced as his people?” She asked. “He wasn’t too clear why they hated technology. Did they create some AI that went rogue? Did the AI hunt them? Were they actually hiding from some big baddy out there? Did creating a portal that used their planet as a homing beacon call those old enemies to us?!”

I opened my mouth. I hadn’t thought of that. Just because I knew one of the many Superman stories didn’t mean I knew all of them. “I did not think of that!” I yelled, annunciating each word. “But I did make it so that if this other imaginary enemy attacks, we have Superman willing to help. You know, since the humans helped him open the gate, and helped to heal his friend.” 

She frowned, having hoped I wouldn’t say that either. She stewed for a moment and we sat down as one. When I felt she was ready to hear it I made the real offer. “I know we aren’t being watched, so I will be candid. When I was first arrested those 20 years ago, I was offered leniency for a certain trove of money.” Her Haki pulsed with interest. “Now I don’t have near as much as they hoped. But if I was willing to split-”

“All,” she said.

“Fuck no, you greedy bitch,” I said. “20 years I’ve spent in prison. That’s worth half of what I have.” She didn’t answer. “If I were able to provide some gold, diamonds, and slightly singed cash to a less than approved organization…or person.” I pointed at her, letting her know I didn’t care what she did with it. “I want to be set free. Today.” 

“How much?” She grumbled. 

“A million thereabouts,” I said. “Untraceableish.”

She began to think. Leaning back in her chair she crossed her arms under her rather perky rack. Studying me for a long time I knew she was inclined to agree to this. I decided to sweeten the pot.

“And some information,” I said. 

“Like what? Where you learned to fly and other shit you decided not to show people?” She asked. 

“Some information on our newest refugee,” I said. She almost showed excitement on her face, but didn’t. Rather her Haki leaked out. “The lone survivor of perhaps millions of krytonites in that zone. Something tore those that didn’t survive apart. I believe I saw a lot of teeth marks on some. I doubt the super friends saw that, but I did. I wouldn’t trust the man they saved.”

“What are you saying?” She asked, leaning forward again.

“I’m saying, someone killed all of those people in there. How long were they in there? 30 years? Usually only the survivors tell the tales. And if you want the right story told you just have to make sure you’re the only one telling the tales,” I said. 

She was more than a little intrigued by this idea. Perhaps latching on to help justify her team a little longer or some other aspect, I didn’t care to find out. I knew this story wasn’t over, and I planned to stay in the world until I saw it through. As far as I knew, I was the only person on the planet with Kryptonite. I’d hate to leave them high and dry when they needed it most. Since I didn’t think anyone knew how weak it made the kryptonians, I wondered if I could sell the information and a piece of it at a time. There was a lot of money that could be made in this world. A lot of friends, enemies, and opportunities awaited me. I was excited to find them all out.