Chapter 199 I Regret Nothing
"I don’t regret it." Pinaka abruptly declared.
"...?" Yan Zaizen was startled by her words.
"According to our soul oath, I could’ve left years ago. We both experienced a thousand years together, far more than previously agreed upon," she explained, continuing further, "I don’t regret choosing to stay with you, even if we die today, I regret nothing."
"..." A soft warmth permeated his heart. He knew Pinaka could’ve left, but she didn’t choose to. She could’ve found a stronger partner, probably someone in the middle-stages of the Heavenly Genesis realm. But she didn’t.
"In the cultivation world, life and death are as close as exhaling and inhaling a breath. The only thing we can truly hope for is that we’re surrounded by those we care about while we experience any of those things." Pinaka continued her words, a soft melancholy suffused in her voice.
The silver hole was now six inches. Three more seconds before maximum potential and then the resulting explosion.
Tao was in the Meteor Ring, looking at the vast space within, his eyes somewhat lost. Bai Lufeng cultivated in peace, his mind and soul undisturbed by any of these events. Lang Xue’s thoughts were a chaotic mess. She knew that Yan Zaizen wouldn’t be able to survive, after all, he was injured fighting the Deluge Realmlord. If he had the ability to kill the Deluge Realmlord without injury in his home, perhaps, but she had already accepted her death.
To her, fate wanted her life. All the experiences she suffered, her escapes, her lucky chances, her misfortunate events, and now her end. She relived all of them and felt that, no matter how hard she struggled, death continued to bite at her heels.
"I guess...you can only run and fight for so long." A profound light of sadness and bitter regret shrouded her eyes.
Even with Yan Zaizen’s dao, the situation was becoming grimmer. It was hard to maintain that unyielding confidence when death was staring at you in the face. Especially when you haven’t thought of a way to escape. As the silver hole increases in strength, so does the storm. He tried sending more deathly aura, but it was gone in a millisecond. That was a thousand times faster than before.
If he had a very, very slim chance before; he had none now.
At this point, the exerted pressure pulverized the first-floor Heavenly Genesis experts into nothingness. Yan Zaizen solemnly watched this all happen. Memories of his life started to flash before his eyes. He recalled his parents. Despite his slowness at birth, they were always there for him. They took their time to teach him, laughed with him, embraced him when he cried, and soothed him to sleep. They didn’t see him or treated him any lesser because he was their child.
He flashed to their deaths, or at least when he received the news. They were traveling in a group, a random bandit party attacked and robbed them of their possessions. Not only did his mother and father die, but so did a few others. When they returned, the survivors only had dead bodies to show.
When he first saw his parents bodies, he remembered his first thought: "Why is mother and father sleeping?" For ten full weeks, he didn’t realize they had died. Regardless of what others told him, he believed they were just sleeping and they would wake up soon. Many pitied him, thinking he simply wanted them alive. However, Yan Zaizen truly thought they were sleeping.
It was only after those ten full weeks did it dawn on him what happened. He didn’t cry. Instead, he talked to his parents like normal - as if they were alive. That continued for the next eleven years. Not once did he treat his parents as gone, but he knew they were dead.
He remembered when he was eight. He saw a young girl that seemed to dazzle as she breathed. His first sight of her was in the Yan Clan’s garden. She was surrounded by pink lotuses and dressed in bright yellow. Her countenance was impossibly perfect that he wished to see it every day. Yan Zaizen was immediately mesmerized. He, without an ounce of fear, talked to her on that day.
He dedicated his life in hopes of being able to bring her dreams to fruition. A large reason he did was that...his dream couldn’t come true. His mother and father would never open their eyes, hug him, or laugh with him again. Despite all the scorn and mocking because of his low talent, it barely affected him. To put in bluntly, he was too slow to process a lot of it. Only when he got older did it truly sink in.
Not once did he think of suicide despite the inhuman levels of treatment later in that time. If he did, his parents would be alone. Despite this, the uncomfortable gazes and shattering of his dream made him want to get away from it all, but he couldn’t leave his parents. He stayed in a grassy field his father often took him to.
Then, he saw a meteor.
His life changed.
Han Genji, Basilisk Forest, Xing Xuehan and the others, Ying Clan, Xuanwu City, the Deep Mines, finding Pinaka, Sky Heart City, returning home, avenging Han Genji, saving Shin Xuanji, fighting Yao Wuhen, Sky Night Royal City, meeting Ya Qinqan once more, Dead Soul Desert, Anima Syndicate, Asura Phantom Realm, Xiantu Emperor’s invitation, taking his first fearless step towards the heavenly path, facing heavenly tribulation, watching Shin Xuanji’s rise, traversing the Border Expanse, Deluge Realm, and now here.
When he recalled the important bits of his life, he realized that he had experienced many things but also so, so little. The sixteen-year-old him was nothing like he was today.
"..." His eyes closed. The surrounding world went silent. The emotions of despair, the incoming doom, and all of it vanished. At this single moment, only he existed.
BOOM!!!
His eyes snapped open. Within those eyes were no longer dark-amber, amber-gold, silver-blue, or golden light! Instead, only pure, absolute darkness remained!
"I, too, regret nothing. However, unless I do everything I can before death, I’ll regret it!!!" Yan Zaizen shouted explosively. His Mortal Dao of Sovereign Ascension erupted, but unlike before, this was a true eruption. His dark-amber dao orb materialized outside of the body. It radiated a profound light that seemed to be declaring itself the rising sovereign of the universe!
With calmness, it watches all. With unyielding confidence, it remains true to itself! With tyrannical ferocity, it exceeds all! With relentless pursuit, it never ceases or surrenders! Even in death.
IT ASCENDS!
The dark-amber orb transformed into a clone of Yan Zaizen. With a single step, Yan Zaizen and the clone merged into a single entity. No longer was the Mortal Dao limited to simply his soul, amplifying his various energies, but it became a single entity with his existence!
"Absolute Dao Merge!" This method was incredibly risky, but it was the same as igniting your heavenly shrine. The only difference was the outcome. With this, if someone shatters your body, it’ll shatter your dao! However, as long as you exist, your dao will exist! As long you don’t shatter, your dao will never shatter!
The dark eyes spread to cover even his whites, before long, it started to swirl intensely. The world seemed to halt. The heavens seemed to halt. There was an unnatural hesitation of all existence. This brief period was so brief that light wouldn’t be able to traverse a single millimeter during this period.
Yan Zaizen recalled his life once more. All of this started, all of these events that led to now was due to a single entity. The black hole in his glabella! He understood the concept. If his soul was assaulted, it would inadvertently trigger and eliminate the threat. However, it doesn’t work for physical damage. This was evidenced by the fight with the Deluge Realmlord or Asura Phantom Realm when he was stabbed through his heart.
He can die, this wasn’t a question. If he dies naturally or killed by physical force, his soul can and will dissipate. However, if it was assaulted, the black hole activates. His own bloodline, the two black holes in his eyes consumed soul energy rapidly, but he didn’t know any of its other abilities. At the moment, he was out of options.
Even if he ignited his True Essence, Dao Merged, galvanized his soul flame, even pushed his vital energies to its limits, he would still die today. That wasn’t a question. The only thing he had left was the black hole, so...he’ll simply force it to activate!
With his Dao Merged Soul Energy, he condensed all of his soul energy into a single dot in a split second.
"DO SOMETHING!!!" Thundering to the heavens, he directly sent this soul energy dot towards his glabella in his soul form, not his physical body. It impacted directly into the swirling black hole. For a second, there was resistance.
Then...
The soul energy vanished.
"..." Another second passed, nothing happened.
Another second passed, his body was feeling too much pressure. All the individuals that were in the space had already perished. If it wasn’t for his Herculean healing factor, his body would’ve turned into dust already. One more second before detonation.
"...That’s it..." His words came out with a heavy sigh. "Now, I regret nothing..."
He closed his eyes.
Another second passed.
The silver hole trembled.
KA!
Facing upwards towards the vast heavens, his eyes were misty beneath his heavy lids. "Mother...Father...I have so much I want to tell you all. I can’t wait to see you..."
BOOM!!!!!!!!!
The explosion was reminiscent to a supernova but thousands of times greater. The shockwaves radiated and the explosion surged outwards. They rumbled forward with the intent to turn all existence into nothingness.
Shru!
An inch away from Yan Zaizen’s body, an indifferent shockwave that contained heaven-destroying force stayed. It seemed frozen in time. A small black hole emerged from his glabella. It spun once, then twice.