Double-Blind: A Modern LITRPG

Chapter 138

I knew there was a chance this wouldnt go how Talia wanted. Of that original group, Jinny was the friendliest towards her, with Nick as a strong second. Sae, by comparison, was a distant third.

It was entirely possible that this could backfire completely. People dont always act rational after a tragedy. Looking for someone or something to blame is par for the course, and what better scapegoat than the spirit guide that led us to ruin?

Realistically, there was nothing that Talia could have done.

Elevators creeping me out. Sae eyed the iron bars warily. Its got serious cage vibes.

All three floors Sae had cleared were wholly different from my original experience. The elevator was the one aspect that remained relatively unchanged. Figuring it wouldnt do any harm, I briefly recounted my original experience with the dungeon, leaving out the more problematic aspects and altering the story some.

So, the bear almost killed you, but you took it out on your own. And now youve got the shadow thing left.

Pretty much.

Before I could say anything further, Sae rounded on me. There was a cloud of anger in her expression. Why, exactly, are you doing this?

I studied her. To finish the quest.

Does it require you to finish it solo?

Well, no.

And you said getting me to level ten was a priority, right?

Yes.

Then heres an idea, smartass. Sae stuck a finger in my chest. Give me a day to rest, and we come back and finish this thing together.

There was something beneath the acerbic demeanor. Worry, concern maybe? Still, that wasnt going to happen. Im on a timetable.

What fucking timetable? Sae held her arms wide. Feel free to explain it to me because I dont get it. This dungeon doesnt mess around. By your own admission, it would have happily killed you if you so much as picked the wrong elevator.

I appreciate the offer, really I said honestly. And if things were even slightly different, Id take you up on it. But theres something valuable to me in the solo-instance. Something I might not be able to obtain if we went that route.

Sae stepped away and crossed her arms, giving me a cold stare. More secrets. Whatever youre after must be worth it. But I dont understand why youre so quick to put your life on the line when youve already got it made.

I dont have it made. Everything I have is balanced on the edge of a knife

Bullshit. You have an entire region of the city, uncontested, with multiple strong guilds backing your authority. A power that could easily tip the scale of any conflict, as weve so thoroughly seen, and a family that needs you. Yet, youre still acting like you have nothing to lose.

Uncontested for the moment. And you seem to be under the impression that passivity is an option. I said coldly. Let me ask you a question. Do you really think the suits are going to just stop at some point? Just sit back and say to themselves, You know what? Thats enough power. We can dial back on the atrocities, kidnapping, blackmail and extortion for a bit. Is that how you think this is going to go?

No. But its not all on you.

Like hell its not. I bit back. Im not going to sit back in my ivory fucking tower and pretend like things have changed. This is the same dog fight it always has been. The second they took Nick, threatened my family, and killed Jinny, there were two choices. Lay back and let them do what they please, or wipe them out.

Sae backed off. And I thought I was angry.

Its not about revenge or posturing. I turned away. These are people who understand how to take advantage of the flaws in the system. Any system. Elites who soar to untold heights by treading on the heads of those below them. They have no code. And they were killing people by day three. Day-fucking-three, Sae. When everyone else was trying to figure out what the fuck a feat was and deciding whether they needed to go to a psych ward.

I get that theyre bad news.

And you want them to hurt.

Yes. Sae said, her agreement troubled. The elevator doors opened on the third floor, and she stepped out. She was clearly exhausted from the previous ordeal, but somehow, she seemed lighter than before. Like some burden weighing her down had been lifted.

While I was glad for her, I couldnt help the flash of envy at that.

She stepped aside to let me pass, and I couldnt tell from her non-directional eyes if she was studying me or staring at the wall. That question answered itself when she grabbed my arm. Did you mean what you said to me, outside the Trial?

That the Suits will pay?

Sae shook her head. Her voice was uncharacteristically quiet. No. About us. Being friends.

Oh. I stopped, mid-thought, struggling to switch gears. Id said more than I should have outside the trial, when I was convinced she was dead. Which put me in something of an awkward position. I wasnt much for oversharing. Or sharing, for that matter.

Right now, Sae was adrift. Looking for anyone and anything to cling on to.

Look, if everything you said was bullshitif youre just manipulating me? Thats fine. Regardless of motivation, you probably saved my life. God, youve done more to help me than my parents ever would.

It wasnt bullshit. I said quietly.

An expression of relief crossed her face. I dont think we should back down or let them be. Neither of us are capable of that, I think. But there has to be something after the suits. This cant just be about destruction. Eventually, we have to stop.

I realized what she was getting at. This is about something that happened in the dungeon. Youre different than you were. Like you reached some conclusion or shift in perspective. Did it scare you?

Sae bit her lip. Not exactly. Its difficult to say. And Im worried what youll think of me, if I tell you.

Just say it.

Her eyebrows knitted together. I mean, I was mostly playing a support role before. Even when there were only three of us. I buffed Nick, watched Jinnys back. Only fought directly if we were completely outnumbered. So, when you told me Id be taking point to get the majority of the experience, and that youd only interfere if I was overwhelmed, that was intimidating at first. Then, after the second floor, when those pre-historic humansor whatever they wereflooded me, I didnt have time to doubt myself. I fell back on my instincts. And after a while

Even as Sae trailed off, I understood.

All you really had to do was look at our prior companions in comparison. Nick fought like a classic hero. He dispatched his enemies efficiently and without hesitation. But if there was an opportunity to show mercy, or talk his way out of a situation, he fell back on that as defaultthe standoff with the spider queen a prime example.

Yet Sae had been different in the adaptive dungeon. There was an undercurrent of brutality to the way she fought.

If Nick was a knight in shining armor, Sae was a Viking donned in chitin face-paint, screaming a war cry at the top of her lungs.

It was alarming to find something like that in yourself. Was it new, brought on by your environment and circumstances? Or had it been lurking beneath the surface, hidden in some line of DNA or strand of neurons this entire time, waiting for the opportunity to show itself.

It sounds as if the pup has grown into a wolf. A voice called from behind us.

Sae whirled, claws extended, ready to rip the newcomer to shreds. The tension in her body lessened when she saw Talia, but only slightly. What the fuck is this? You died.

Talia approached with a baleful stare. Then bowed her head. As a spirit, death is never permanent. I am truly sorry that I could not protect you properly. All of you.

A war played out over Saes features. Anger struggled against happiness, threatening to snuff it out.

Unable to help myself, I came to Talias aid. Why the fuck didnt you warn us? I pressed, letting a simmering rage into my voice. A short message or warning could have made the difference. You let us walk into a guillotine.

Talia kept her head bowed.

Sae put out a hand and shot me a stern look. Matt, stop it.

Youre just going to take whatever she says at face value? I asked, feigning exasperation.

I get that youre angry. So am I. Sae hesitated as she worked through the issues in her head. But text chat was offline. And once the trial had started, that membrane went up, covering the entrance. Even if she shouted, we couldnt have heard her. Not to mention, there were twelve of them. Talia wasnt much stronger than us, and you saw how quickly Sae trailed off, hands curling into fists.

Whatever. I walked away, placing my back to a nearby wall.

Talia approached Sae, nosing a clenched fist with her muzzle until Sae relaxed and gently stroked Talias head.

At first I had my doubts. But you were all so noble and steadfast. You covered for each other, and did not leave your wounded. When you invited me to join you, I was flattered. Real grief filtered into Talias voice. Just as I was horrified when that possibility was torn away. With the last vestiges of my consciousness, I watched you disappear back into the trial and thought you gone forever.

Sae was quiet.

When I regained consciousness, I became aware that you had returned. Not unscathed, but unbroken. A huntress through and through. Pardon the indulgence, but I had to speak to you. Just once. To see you in the flesh and apologize, for my short-comings. Talia held her head high. I will take my leave now.

The story about dying and regaining consciousness, becoming aware of Sae, was all manufactured. But it felt like the emotion andmore surprisingly, regretthat Talia was conveying was genuine. Id thought she was just angry. She was a summon, after all, there was only so much she could do. However, this exchange was making me realize that Talia didnt see herself that way. She considered herself elevated and strong. And took the responsibility that came with that estimation seriously.

Even now, shed started to walk away. Sae watched her go, wearing a complex expression I couldnt begin to parse. Finally, she called after the wolf. So, thats it?

Talia stopped. What do you mean?

Jinny is dead. Sae said coldly. We all fucked up. Matt didnt see it coming. Nick immediately lost it as soon as her body hit the ground. And I ran away like a coward. You dont get to martyr yourself and take all the blame.

You do not have to

Im not making excuses for you. For any of us. But we all played a part. And if you saw yourself as part of our pack, then why are you running away now?

Talia studied Sae. Her eyes flicked to me. Im unsure how to respond. This is not how I expected it to go.

It made sense now. Why Talia had been so insistent on talking to Sae.

You wanted her to blame you. To help her move forward by offsetting her guilt on someone she might never see again.

When Talia didnt answer, I offered the only advice I could think of.

We dont know whats going to happen with the lithid. So, obviously best to not make any promises. Just be as honest as you can.

Talia processed that, waiting a long moment before she spoke again. Though my death was not permanent, it was not without cost. There are challenges before me. It is uncertain if I will be able to return to you as I was.

Sae strode over and crouched down on in front of her. Talias tail wagged as she waited attentively. Sae reached out, placing a hand on the wolfs chest, and shoved her gently. Then hurry and do what you need to do. So you can come back. Sae stuck a thumb at me. Knowing this guy, things will go to shit soon enough. He might not be willing to admit it, but we need all the help we can get. And when youre back, well get you that armor we promised you.

With that, Sae turned to go, leaving Talia behind. I nodded to Talia and followed.

Even if I cant return, know this. I will be watching over you. Talia called after us.

/////

After Kinsley used her power to door Sae back to the penthouse, I made my final preparations for the fifth floor of the adaptive dungeon.

It was a long time coming.