Dungeon Defense (WN)

Chapter 71: Filibuster (1)

Around the time Rank 49 Crocell was killed in battle, the 12 nations of the human world were spending their time energetically as usual.

At a dome-shaped meeting hall with a high ceiling.

This place was almost in complete shambles. The complexions on the faces of the aristocrats were daunting. They may not have been raising their swords, but they were saying every possible slander they could possibly think of to the other parties. They didn’t care about keeping face even remotely despite all being key retainers of the empire.

Today they were arguing over a matter related to the military system. The Imperial Princess’ Faction requested that the foreign mercenaries hired by the imperial palace should be disbanded immediately if they wished to pass their agenda. To this, the Imperial Prince’s Faction responded that this was an “extremely complex issue”. If you were to translate this into layman’s terms, then they were basically telling the other party to “go fuck yourselves”.

In regard to this, the Imperial Princess’ Faction responded that this was “quite the unfortunate matter” which could easily be interpreted roughly as “then fuck off”. Naturally, the matter regarding the military system exploded splendidly in the air. In short, the nobles shouting at each other was like the aftermath of a splendid fireworks session.

“Your wife does not have any breasts either!”

“What nonsense are you saying? My wife has excellent breasts, breasts that are ten times better than your wife’s breasts. In that regard, your wife lives with an unsightly mole on her bottom.”

“What?”

An aristocrat with a long mustache wrinkled his forehead.

“How do you know about that?”

A fat aristocrat then responded:

“Because I saw it with my own two eyes. Not only have I seen it, but I’ve touched it with this very hand. Moreover, I’ve licked it with my tongue as well. What a lousy woman she was! I’ve always wondered how someone as awful as you could have an experience as sacred as marriage, but my curiosity was answered after I saw your wife. Truly a match made in heaven.”

The fat aristocrat nodded to himself. The mustached aristocrat’s face became pale. I was wondering why that harlot had stopped nagging, but she was cheating on me, huh……?

“Your wife is nothing to write home about either. Her breasts may be large, but that’s it. Her face isn’t good at all. Furthermore, she weighs so much that I doubt any sow is as heavy as she is. She kept trying to kiss me while we were doing it, but she almost crushed me to death.”

A third party, a bald noble man intervened in the conversation. He belonged to the same faction as the mustached aristocrat. Because the mustached man seemed to be in a daze after the fact that his wife cheated on him became public, the bald man had stepped in to save him.

“A-Are you mocking my wife?”

The fat aristocrat’s nostrils flared. The bald noble paid him no mind as he shrugged.

“What? Did you not also mock that man’s wife?”

“I request a duel!”

“All right.”

The bald noble nodded.

“But first have a duel with that person. The sequence would only be correct if you were to do that first.”

The Imperial Princess was watching this unfold from her upper seat. No, she wasn’t watching them. She was covering her face with her hands.

Elizabeth Atanaxia Evatriae von Habsburg. She had already received the position of an earl, was referred to as an unprecedented prodigy at the age of sixteen, and was revered as the hope of the Habsburg Empire. The Imperial Princess with beautiful silver hair was, however, despairing over the current commotion…….

These nobles were the highest leading members of the Habsburg Empire’s government. They were all capable people who received the best possible education since they were little. In other words, they were the Habsburg Empire’s ‘finest’. Was this not a nightmare?

The empire’s supreme council was reaching its climax.

“No……telling me to take on two opponents at once is cowardly.”

“Being called cowardly is not an issue. I personally enjoy being called cowardly. To be honest, every time I hear the word cowardly, the area around my nipples gets tingly.”

“Dear Lord, how horrible……. Who would have guessed that this bald man was a masochistic pervert.”

The bald noble then shouted angrily.

“Do not mock masochism⎯!”

The other nobles who were rambling around them became startled. They all turned to look at the bald noble. The bald man was well-known for his sly tone and arrogance, but no one had ever seen him get upset. The fat aristocrat must have also been startled as he stammered.

“W-What sort of tone is that when we both have similar statuses?”

“The person with a bad tone is you!”

The bald noble’s head became red.

“It’s fine if you jeer at me or my wife, but I will not allow you to mock masochism!”

“E-Excuse me…… Are you insane? Masochism or whatever…… is that not simply the antics of degenerates!?”

The nobles around them nodded. Everyone nodded regardless of their factions. Masochism is perverted, this was an indisputable fact. This miraculous unity must have given the fat aristocrat courage as he exclaimed energetically.

“To not only enjoy being hit by others but to feel it sexually as well? How is that not the behavior of degenerates? It is so slovenly that that man who plays with the wives of other people appear gentlemanly. No, at least there is some romance in the act of playing with other people’s wives! Masochism is simply a side of degeneracy!”

The other nobles nodded their heads again. Their factions didn’t matter this time as well. The reason was simple. When it came to sharing their wives with each other, they all belonged in the same faction. They were male nobles and the act of hunting for other people’s wives was treated as an activity that befitted male nobles.

“Hmph.”

The bald man didn’t back down as he let out a snort.

“Romance? How ridiculous. You do not know what romance even means. You do not know what true romance is! You all most likely believe that you are living passionate lives while carrying out childish activities.”

The nobles started to stir. They looked terribly displeased. They might have been fine with their political beliefs being denied, but they absolutely would not allow someone to deny them of their sexual romances.

“Drag that bastard out!”

“How dare you mock the supreme council of the Habsburg Empire!”

“We must indict him for slandering our empire!”

Shouts erupted from here and there. Their heads were raised up high and their necks were red. In this dome-shaped building, only a single person, Imperial Princess Elizabeth, was gradually lowering her head. The ones slandering the supreme council of the Habsburg Empire isn’t just the bald nobleman but all of you, you lustful mutts…….

Of course, the Imperial Princess was an exception among exceptions. The absolute majority was yelling with the intent to scalp the bald man. The bald man must have felt as if he were Socrates. Like the time the philosopher stepped forward to expose the truth in the courts of Athens. While feeling as if he were the guardian of his personal beliefs⎯⎯with eyes that didn’t have even the slightest bit of doubt⎯⎯the bald noble spoke in a clear voice.

“Masochism, I assure you that this is the peak of sexual romances. Compared to this, extramarital affairs are below the dirt. In other words, the degenerate act of dogs. You foolish plebians! What possible meaning could extramarital affairs have besides the ruin of social laws? Love does not exist there.”

The bald man made a fist and raised it into the air.

“That is right. Love. Extramarital affairs are only filled with greed that is mistaken for love. On the other hand, how about masochism? In order to enjoy masochism, it is necessary to have a partner who will treat you poorly. A sadistic partner who will gladly hit, bind, and step on you. A partner like that is rare and valuable……. Next, consider the most fundamental part of masochism: the binding. Imagine if my hands were bound by rope right now!”

He shouted ardently. The man was overflowing with passion.

“No matter what I do, I cannot free myself……My heart pounds! That is right, being so scared that your heart pounds is the meaning of being bound. Especially if it is someone else who binds you……that terror would obviously be immense! To allow such a thing, to trust someone so unconditionally, no, to trust each other in such a way! This is what masochism is!”

The other nobles looked at each other blankly. Was this argument not a lot more rational than expected? They began to listen to the bald man more. He was going with the flow.

“Everyone has a desire to be tormented. Everyone wishes for someone else to conquer them and we also long for someone to violate us until we become messes……Am I wrong, you hypocrites!?”

He is right. The nobles of Habsburg who were more honest about their sexual desires than anyone else nodded their heads. He is right, I say. I also occasionally wish for someone to pound me from behind like a beast. To be able to feel that heavy weight on my entire body……a certain earl muttered quietly to himself with a dreamy gaze. He didn’t realize that the duke next to him had heard him and was shocked.

“Why do we feel delighted about respecting the law? Why do we listen to the acclamation of our conscience when we follow ethics? Why would we feel such things if it weren’t for our innate sadistic and masochistic tendencies? I will solemnly declare right now that, similar to how all ethics have a little masochism in them, there is a little ethics in masochism as well! Listen to your partner’s eager requests and gladly hit their rear. If this is not love and respect, then I do not know what is!”

The fat aristocrat fell back on his seat.

“I-Impossible……. Are you telling me that I have been wrong all this time? Masochism is not immoral, but love instead……?”

The corners of the bald man’s mouth lifted up.

“That is correct. Masochism is the zenith of all sexual romances! You are the pervert for calling this act, that is so filled with love, perverted. You are truly pitiful. You are truly pitiful for not knowing what love is.”

The meeting room filled with applause.

The other nobles were touched by the bald man’s speech. They felt incredibly satisfied because they were able to listen to such an excellent debate for the first time in a long while, especially with a sexual topic like this. There were even people who were rating this as the greatest speech they had ever heard in the supreme court in recent times. Solely, solely the Imperial Princess alone had to hold her aching head.

“I-I cannot accept this.”

The fat aristocrat who was abruptly turned into a pervert by a pervert trembled. He murmured.

“Masochism is not the peak of sexual romances.”

“Hmph, it seems the defeated is trying to struggle till the bitter end.”

“No! I understand your genuine mindset of pursuing sexual romances. I give you my sincerest respect in that regard……. However, I cannot accept that masochism is the peak.”

The bald noble furrowed his brows.

“You cannot accept it? Hah. Are you saying that something like cheating on your spouse is the highest act? That is quite the peak you have there.”

“Wrong!”

The fat aristocrat shouted in anger.

“The peak of sexual romances is incest! Especially the incestual love shared warmly between brother and sister⎯⎯!”

…….

The meeting hall froze.

The mouths of the nobles were held open in shock. Even the guards who were supposed to always be emotionless were taken aback. <Symphony of Shock>, this silent chorus was being sung by everyone present in the meeting room whose mouths were hanging open. Even the guardian of masochism, the bald noble, was put into a daze because of this world-shaking declaration.

“Stop already, you lunatics…….”

The Imperial Princess now felt a skull-shattering pain as she muttered those words. Her voice was mixed with so much anguish and sadness that one wouldn’t believe that it had come out the mouth of a 16-year-old. Her radiant silver hair appeared strangely dull right now.

Nonetheless, the Imperial Princess’ words were too weak. No one had heard her. Even if they honestly did hear her, they would have probably ignored her deliberately. Including the fat aristocrat who asserted incest just now.

The fat aristocrat continued.

“The beauty of sex is in immorality. An act that is forbidden by society! An act that most consider as ethically disagreeable! These things are impregnable walls. Sexual romances have value only when you have to cross those intimidating walls for the sake of love. Think about a love story between a noble and a peasant. Why is their love noble? ……The answer is simple. It is because their households do not permit it. It is because they continue to pursue their love, despite the resistance from their families, that their love proves to be more precious than the wall known as family ties. Thus their love is noble.”

The other nobles slowly nodded their heads. His view appeared right as well. The fat aristocrat seemed to gain confidence from this reaction as he continued boldly.

“That is correct. The higher the wall is, the higher the value of the love we obtain becomes. The perilousness of the wall proves how much value that love has. If the one you love is poorer than you, and yet you still love them, that love is noble. Behold. In recent times, is there a wall higher than homosexuality? How about incest? Is there a wall taller than incest? Adding to this⎯⎯if homosexuality and incest were to fuse together, would a love that’s capable of overcoming such a ginormous wall exist? If not, then is there a love that is as great as the love between brothers? No. There absolutely is not!”

The fat aristocrat spoke with an expression filled with lament.

“How strong must their bond be for brothers to love each other……? Imagine how fierce their love could be. A type of anguish that weighs almost as much as the continent itself would most likely press down on their love. They would suffer and agonize over this time and time again. Why am I like this? Why do I love my brother? I should not do this, I must not, and yet…….”

The fat aristocrat’s tone sounded so pragmatic that people couldn’t help but imagine it. Their hearts felt heavy. How much must they love each other?

“They would most likely treat the one they love cold-heartedly. They would run to a temple and pray to God about their love. O Lord, why have you given me this love? With a love like this, hatred would seem like gold. Please take away from me this love, this blazing heart……. And yet, despite this, they cannot stop their love……!”

Tears welled up in the fat aristocrat’s eyes. The other nobles sympathized with his lamenting tone. Ah, that truly is a grand love.

“Like an unstoppable flood! Like an overwhelming summer storm! You cannot possibly suppress the love between two brothers. What could befall those two? They are proving with their love that there are no ethics, laws, or emotions greater than love! Love is something that shows to us directly how great it is! In this dreary era, in this era where we would even kill our previous comrades like flies for the sake of our political beliefs, how could the love between brothers not be blinding……?”

The fat aristocrat looked up with moist eyes that were on the brink of crying.

Silence fell over the meeting room. It wasn’t a heavy silence. The nobles were touched by the fat aristocrat’s speech. Yeah, he is right, someone whispered. That’s what love is. Love is something that does not bend no matter how much society and those around you go against it. This is why people are great. That’s right, the other nobles agreed. Having been moved by the fat aristocrat’s declaration, they then started to converse with one another. I’ll try loving my brother from now on. I’ll dote on my little brother. On top of a bed, that is. Yup. Hear, hear.

“…….”

The bald noble who had claimed masochism was the peak of sexual romances walked forward. He approached the fat aristocrat and held his right hand out.

“I have lost. This is your victory.”

“No. There are no losers here.”

The fat aristocrat smiled brightly. It was the face of a man in his fifties, so his innocent and beautiful smile was a rare sight to behold.

“We are all victors for acknowledging each others’ beliefs.”

“Heh, that is true…….”

The two then shook hands. A large round of applause followed after. One of the nobles whistled. Currently, at this very moment and location, there was no Imperial Prince’s Faction or Imperial Princess’ Faction. Only tolerance existed here. In this era of the empire’s ongoing decline, they had finally reconciled after having shed countless drops of blood and tears. A breathtaking miracle was taking place here.

Only a single person, the Imperial Princess was excluded from this.

“……Charles.”

The Imperial Princess called out to the knight who was standing behind her. The knight didn’t respond. He had also been moved by the speech and was applauding fervently. It wasn’t until the Imperial Princess called out to him once more that he regained his senses.

“Charles.”

“Huh? Y-Yes! Your Excellency!”

“Drag those fools out of here right this instant.”

The knight named Charles seemed troubled by this order.

“Uhm……Your Excellency. One of them is an influential person of our faction.”

“Do you think I am not aware of that?”

Elizabeth let out a dejected laugh. Her eyes looked as if she had given up on everything. No matter how you looked at it, it wasn’t an expression that a 16-year-old should make, but it suited her perfectly.

“No, I wish I did not know……. For a man who had a homosexual and incestual relationship to be an influential member of the Imperial Princess’ Faction. If the people from the church were to find out about this, they would most likely strip down and start dancing. They might designate today as an anniversary. Charles. Batter those fools.”

“Uhm……with my bare hands, Your Excellency?”

The Imperial Princess shook her head firmly.

“No. With a cudgel.”

“A-As Your Excellency commands.”

Charles bowed. He then promptly approached the culprits behind the ruckus. They were grabbed by their collars. They were dragged away as everyone else could only let out a confused ‘huh?’. The two nobles couldn’t resist the strength of a knight as they were dragged out of the meeting hall helplessly.

“Guaaaaaah!”

“Kuhaa, kuhaaaak!”

Cutthroat screams could be heard from outside the meeting room. It was a gruesome sound. Beads of sweat began to form on the foreheads of the nobles that remained in the conference room. The awe and love that had wrapped around them a moment ago were long gone and a cold northern wind took their place.

The knight returned shortly after. He went back to standing behind the Imperial Princess as if nothing had happened. There was blood on his right cheek, but there was no one brave enough to point it out.

The Imperial Princess spoke.

“Let us proceed to the next matter on the agenda. The Black Death.”

The nobles nodded their heads enthusiastically.

***

TL note: Thanks for reading the chapter. I mentioned it before, but I’m already back to the DD WN because the recent chapter of Handholding was pretty short. Furthermore, this section of DD is also relatively short, so I figured it’d be fine to come back to this real quick before returning to Handholding.

Nothing much else to say, so I’ll see you guys on the next release.