FOG [e-sports]

Chapter 57:

The night before Yu Sui was scheduled to leave the country, his former FS teammates gave him a make-up birthday party.

At that birthday party, Shi Luo lost at Truth or Dare, and when he was penalized, he kissed Yu Sui by accident.

Chen Huo said at the time that it must have been Yu Sui’s first kiss. All the while, Shi Luo half-believed and half-disbelieved it.

Shi Luo’s eyes trembled slightly. “Then, that was really your... your first kiss?”

“If it weren’t? If I really had any kind of love history,” A trace of helplessness flashed across Yu Sui’s eyes, “it would have long been dug out by someone.”

Shi Luo thought about it and had to agree.

Before his debut, Yu Sui would have been too young to consider dating. After his debut, if he had really been seeing anyone...With Yu Sui’s fanatical girlfriend fans, this kind of thing would have been absolutely impossible to hide.

Therefore, that truth or dare penalty had been Yu Sui’s first kiss.

Shi Luo thought back on that scene from two years ago and clutched his bleached hair, his throat constricted.

That was Yu Sui’s first kiss.

What a pity.

At the time, Chen Huo had been egging him on so Shi Luo couldn’t remember how it felt when he kissed Yu Sui.

Shi Luo raised his eyes to look at Yu Sui. His ears turned slightly warm.

Whether he remembered it or not, this guy’s first kiss was his.

Yu Sui’s first kiss was his, not someone else’s.

Shi Luo was struck with another bout of possessiveness. He couldn’t help questioning closely in a quiet voice, “Later...when you went to Germany, during the past two years...”

Did you date anyone?

Those people in Europe, though he didn’t understand nor has he ever had any contact with them, they can’t all be blind.

There were bound to be lots of people who were interested in Yu Sui.

For two whole years, even if he hadn’t dated anyone, there might have been someone who used some trick like his own Truth or Dare to get their hands on this person.

Shi Luo wanted to say something but stopped. It wasn’t easy an easy thing to ask.

What right did he have to ask anyway?

Shi Luo turned slightly to the side. He took a cigarette from his trousers pocket and held it in his mouth without lighting it. He avoided Yu Sui’s gaze and stopped speaking.

Yu Sui watched Shi Luo’s movements and expressions. He had more or less guessed what this little whelp wanted to ask. He said directly, “No, I never dated nor have I had any bodily contact with anyone. For two years...”

Yu Sui couldn’t help but smile, “I’ve kept myself as pure as jade, original packaging unopened, how I was before I left is exactly how I am now.”

Yu Sui was clearly talking about himself but Shi Luo felt like he was being seduced. His ears turned red immediately, and he stammered, cigarette between his lips, “I-I di-didn’t ask you about that!”

“Sorry.” Yu Sui smiled, leaning back slightly, “I thought you were having another attack of your straight-guy disease. Anyway, I’ve already owned up. From start to end, there’s been no one.”

Shi Luo gulped. For some reason, he felt even more nervous than before now that Yu Sui’s said this.

Yu Sui quietly waited for Shi Luo. He then pulled the topic back, “So? You’ve already taken the benefit of my first kiss. What else? What else do you want?”

Yu Sui waited for Shi Luo to say something.

Shi Luo raised his eyes to look at Yu Sui, his heart beating faster and faster, his lips unconsciously trembling slightly.

The answer was ready to come out.

What Yu Sui was to Shi Luo was a complicated matter.

He was his benefactor and his personal enemy; an elder brother and his captain; the model and goal for his profession and his most longed for teammate. His multiple identities barred Shi Luo’s way in front, and emotional barriers caused by his particular childhood experiences blocked his way behind.

Shi Luo had suffered extreme hardships during his short nineteen years of life. The only thing he hadn’t tasted was the taste of being loved. He’d been on a tortuous mountain and hadn’t realized it until now.

The range upon range of mountains in his heart were all broken up in an instant. The only thing that remained in Shi Luo’s heart was Yu Sui.

Cigarette between his lips, Shi Luo lowered his head, trying his best to contain himself and not lose control.

In the past few years, Shi Luo has become better and better at controlling his emotions. As long as he is given a little time, Shi Luo would be able to sort out his feelings. He wanted to tell Yu Sui everything.

But Yu Sui refused to give Shi Luo any time.

Yu Sui noticed that Shi Luo’s body was trembling slightly, and he subconsciously called out, “Luo Luo...”

As soon as Yu Sui said those two words, Shi Luo’s eyes reddened.

The second half of what Yu Sui meant to say — ‘tell it to me straight.’ — was choked back.

Shi Luo had reached the end of his forbearance. He wiped his face and said hoarsely, “F*ck it.”

Shi Luo gritted his teeth, he didn’t want to lose control but he just couldn’t anymore.

He couldn’t bear Yu Sui calling him that way.

Shi Luo took the cigarette from his mouth. He didn’t want to delay for a second longer. “I like...eh.”

Yu Sui covered Shi Luo’s mouth with his hand.

Yu Sui looked straight into Shi Luo’s eyes and said with all seriousness, “I like you.”

Shi Luo’s heart suddenly ached.

Everyone said Whisper was a slag man. Only Shi Luo knew that no one could be gentler than Yu Sui.

Yu Sui released the hand covering Shi Luo’s mouth and whispered, “Do you like me?”

Shi Luo lowered his head. His throat was choked with emotions, trying his best not to let his tears fall.

Shi Luo’s voice was hoarse, “Yeah.”

“I do.”

“I like you.”

Beyond the glass wall, their teammates were still there. They really had no way to do anything that would cross the line. Yu Sui took Shi Luo’s hand and squeezed it lightly.

Yu Sui looked down at Shi Luo’s hand and let out a breath, “...Finally.”

Shi Luo’s nose twitched. He still hadn’t been able to restrain the myriad feelings in his heart when he suddenly sensed something.

It doesn’t make much sense to ponder about this at the moment but Shi Luo’s thoughts turned a bit uneasy.

What did he mean by “finally”?

For him, it was only a few minutes ago that he was able to fully understand that he liked Yu Sui, but what about Yu Sui?

Shi Luo suddenly didn’t dare to dwell on it.

If possible, Shi Luo hoped that Yu Sui was like himself, only realizing his feelings just now.

But this was obviously not the case for Yu Sui.

Then, just when did he become interested?

A week ago?

Half a month ago?

A month ago?

Or could it be...

Shi Luo raised his eyes to look at Yu Sui, the pain in his heart intensifying.

This was definitely not the time to be hung up on such details, but Shi Luo just couldn’t help it.

Along with finding out Yu Sui’s feelings, the many doubts in Shi Luo’s heart suddenly came out. Shi Luo didn’t want to think about the details, but his heart ached more and more.

Shi Luo looked at Yu Sui with red-rimmed eyes and with trembling lips, asked, “When did you...when did you like me?”

Yu Sui obviously didn’t expect Shi Luo to suddenly ask this.

Yu Sui laughed in spite of himself. “Luo Luo, this mood between us... shouldn’t we talk about this?”

Shi Luo stared at Yu Sui and asked, “When?”

Shi Luo stubbornly said, “When? You’re not me. You grew up normally, and you’ve had normal relationships with people. You must know better than I do about liking or disliking someone. If you became interested in someone, you would know it. So when did you become interested?”

Yu Sui smiled. He wanted to keep his mouth shut and just kiss Shi Luo. Shi Luo stepped back a bit, his tone changed a little, “When?!”

Yu Sui was quiet for a moment. He smiled.

“Say it!” Fearing that he’d attract their other teammates’ attention, Shi Luo tried his best to suppress his voice, “Tell me, when did you become interested?”

Shi Luo was trembling from head to foot. “Yu Sui, you...you’ve always been so good to me, you...”

“If I was really good to you.” Yu Sui paused and chuckled, “Then that would really make a slag man now.”

Shi Luo interrupted Yu Sui anxiously. “Say it!!!”

Yu Sui was dazed.

After a while, Yu Sui simply said, “In that club, when we had that alcohol bet.”

Yu Sui avoided Shi Luo’s gaze. He looked down at Shi Luo’s hand, and said in an easy tone, “You should understand. That scene, no one could’ve remain unmoved.”

Yu Sui couldn’t even face him as he said this. Shi Luo could no longer bear it. He gritted his teeth and said, “Tell, me, the, truth.”

Yu Sui took a deep breath.

It was too difficult to try and fool Shi Luo.

Since getting to know Shi Luo, in two years, Yu Sui has only been able to successfully conceal one thing from Shi Luo.

And now, it seemed that he wouldn’t be able to hold it back anymore.

Shi Luo was now serious. Yu Sui knew that he couldn’t hide it anymore.

Yu Sui looked at Shi Luo and tried to speak as calmly as possible, “Back when you were still doing live broadcasts.”

Shi Luo’s eyes trembled, and tears he’d been holding back for so long finally came falling down.

When he was still a wild anchor, Yu Sui was already interested.

Looking back at all the countless encounters they had during the past two years, all of them, all of them, no longer looked the same.

That year, Yu Sui was nineteen years old.

In the house dance channel of a certain live broadcasting platform, Yu Sui, whose identity had been exposed by Shi Luo, said, “Luo, come to FS. I’ll take you with me.”

After Shi Luo played his first regular season match and won the match MVP, Yu Sui evaded the others and whispered to Shi Luo that he’d take him to celebrate alone. Then he drove the whole night and to take Shi Luo back to his hometown.

At Shi Luo’s hometown, outside the college entrance examination venue, Yu Sui leisurely opened a live broadcast while waiting for Shi Luo, and told everyone about the boy he secretly had in his heart.

At the FS base, after learning that Shi Luo had signed a five-year contract in a moment of impulse, Yu Sui’s expression had been conflicted. He wanted to say something but stopped.

Yu Sui asked Shi Luo what Shi Luo thought of him. Once he heard Shi Luo’s answer, Yu Sui fell silent.

On the eve of Yu Sui’s departure, Shi Luo and Yu Sui threw out harsh words. Shi Luo had told him that if Yu Sui didn’t take Shi Luo with him, he would never ever, ever look for him again.

After killing the new medic more than thirty times in a row, Yu Sui found out that that medic named Evil’s previous ID had been Luo.

...

The past flashed vividly in Shi Luo’s mind. Shi Luo’s tears burst out as though from a breached dike. He couldn’t control it anymore.

During every moment of the past, Yu Sui had liked him.

All these memories were suddenly covered with knives. Shi Luo couldn’t imagine how Yu Sui had come wading all this way.

“You......”

Shi Luo’s tears meandered. “How could you...”

Shi Luo held Yu Sui’s hand tightly. He was violently choked with sobs, unable to complete a sentence.

“At first, I couldn’t tell you. I was worried you still didn’t like me.” Yu Sui raised his hand and stroked Shi Luo’s head. Voice hoarse, he said, “Then later, I couldn’t tell you...because I was worried that you already liked me.”

“What I just said is true. In twenty-one years, you’re the only one I’ve ever liked.”

“At that time, I was young and inexperienced. Wherever I release you, I was worried I’d hurt you.”

“But despite how careful I tried to be, I still hurt you.”