His Devious Harbinger: How To Tame A Wicked God?

Chapter 116: Not the only one who lost someone

The small vial feels too heavy in his hand.

Adira slowly walks back to the cell. It never gets dark in the kingdom of Noras. The light in the palace makes him feel dizzy. He wants to go back to the darkness that comforts him. However, he can't stop himself from going back to Kresi with the memories in his hand. 

She's sitting at the same place where he left her. The door of the cell is not locked. She could have run away. But then, where could she go? What is her place in this world? He can't even punish her since she has already gone through her punishment over the years. Why? It's not fair. She needs to give him an answer -- the same bitter answer that will break his heart again. 

"So, what are you going to do to me?" Kresi meets his eyes. "Destroy my soul? Kill me here or have me go through the cycle of pain again? There's nothing that I have gone through. I just don't remember it."

"I have memories of Amara." Adira outstretches his arm and uncurls his finger, revealing the vial of memories on his palm. Noras told him that he could decide whether he wanted Kresi to remember or not. However, he didn't think the same. These are not his memories. The owner should decide whether they want them or not. "You blame the gods and the people for your pain. These memories might give you an answer to why you were punished in such a way." 

She takes the vial from his hand and stares at it. Memories of Amara Would she also remember the time when she was married to the Dark God? She doesn't care much about it. But she's curious. What did Amara think when she was destroying the world? Was her previous reincarnation was the same as her? Didn't she also wish the same? This rotten world should have been destroyed. She would have gone ahead with it if she hadn't died back then.

"I will see you in the trial tomorrow." Adira turns around and walks away from her. His insides are crumbling down. Where's Ari? He needs her the most right now. Why does Amara keep appearing in his head? He didn't want her to suffer like that. He doesn't want to hate Amara. 

Understanding Amara's heart doesn't mean that he can stop hating her. Though she was a victim, she shouldn't have used him to kill all the people. Then again, she shouldn't have forced him to kill her. 

Kresi wonders what to do. Would remembering help? She shrugs. It won't hurt her. Because of the sins that Amara committed, she wasn't chosen as the Renasir. For more than ten thousand years, she was reborn again and again with the dark heart. The answer to her question is in the vial. She opens the vial and empties the content in her mouth. It tastes like nothing but cold air. Her eyelids become heavy. Kresi lies down on the floor and closes her eyes, falling deep into the memories of other life. 

***

"You can't see God Noras." The priest says to her with an irritated look in his eyes, "Do you think that the gods are sitting idle? They don't have time for these things."

It's been days since Jase died. His body was incinerated after the trial was over. He was blamed for stealing something from the temple of God Noras. After a few days, the real culprit was found. Amara's nails dig into her palms. How could this happen to him? He had never done anything wrong in his life. He was a better person than her. "He killed my fiance. How could he do that to him? Ask him to bring him back to life. He's a god. Jase is dead because of his mistake. He has to bring my Jase back."

"Is there anyone in the world who have never lost anyone? You are not the only one who lost someone." The priest jeers at her. "It was that man's fault for getting entangled into that situation. All the evidence were against him at that time. The gods don't make mistakes. It's the mortal's actions that lead them to their fates. Don't question anymore. Get out. You are not welcome here."

Amara is thrown out of the temple. For days, she sits on the road and stares at the palace of the god of light. Jase was taken away from her. A thought emerges in her mind. Why does this world need gods if they make mistakes like that? This world would have been better without the gods. 

Her Jase wouldn't have died if there were no gods in this world.

On the thirteenth day, she stands up and leaves the kingdom of light. She will do whatever it takes to destroy the gods. The enemy of light is the darkness. 

In the memories, Kresi relives her life as Amara -- meeting the god of darkness as a painter, getting his attention, making him fall for her, and then, gaining his trust. It's been easy for her because the darkness usually hides everything in its embrace. 

When she opens her eyes, she's no longer the same Kresi. She remembers how she betrayed the dark god and the destruction that she brought to the world. The Dark Ehr was corrupted because of her twisted feelings. Numerous people were born cursed because of that. They suffered and died over the tears. Eventually, even her family was killed because they were cursed.

She created the world that she hated so much. If she hadn't started that war and influenced the dark ehr, it wouldn't have become like this. Kresi finally understands why she couldn't become the Renasir. Even when she was given a chance, she always ended up with hatred. The gods wronged her. She wronged the world. Then, the world wronged her again. What did she do in return? 

"Adira." Kresi leans back on the wall. The face of the dark god appears in her mind. "He's still suffering because of me."

Even when she did all those things, he still loved her. That's why she hated him the most. She became such a twisted creature. He should have hated her. However, there was only hurt in those dark eyes until the end.

"Ah." Kresi coils her arms around her knees. "There was someone who loved me that much."