How To Survive as a Villain

He didn’t know how long it took, but after a while, the man on the bed finally moved.

Xiao YuAn endured the pain, slowly re-dressed and tidied up his clothes. He then supported himself and reclined on the bed again. The white cloth on his arm was now soaked with blood, and the wound was bothering the flesh. As soon as the blood dried up, the white cloth stuck to the wound, and Xiao YuAn hesitated in whether to untie it or not. In the end, he simply ignored it, not caring about it at all. He was still in a daze.

Everything hurt. His head, his hands, the liver, spleen, lungs, kidneys, his stomach, his heart. It was a pumping pain.

Xiao YuAn curled up and held his head with his uninjured hand. He wanted to think about the future, so much that he couldn’t help but curse inside his heart.

Before he transmigrated, he was still a magnificent, young and promising president of a company. As a result, he didn’t have the time to see the building of a moderately prosperous society in all respects, nor did he have the time to watch the news broadcast finale. He also didn’t have the time to watch the National football team win the World Cup Championship, or to know what the quantum collapse was like before he got a terminal illness.

Well, it’s not an everyday thing to get transmigrated into a book you just read. At any rate, he didn’t just roll his eyes, not knowing anything about what was going on in front of or behind him.

Then, in order to survive, he desperately tried his best to engage himself in good relationships.

And now, the male lead really doesn’t want to see him alive.

The male lead wanted to castrate him!!!

Xiao YuAn originally thought that getting his flesh cut off while still alive at the hands of the male lead was the worst end for him in the whole book, so he decided to smash a pot to pieces just because it was cracked¹ and change the plot in his favor.

He didn’t expect that it could get any worse!!!

Xiao YuAn had read the original book. He knew how tolerant Yan HeQing can be and how much he hates the Northern Kingdom, but he really didn’t think that Yan HeQing could hide his hatred so perfectly when he was by his side in the first place.

In fact, when he proposed for him to go to Jing Yang Palace, Yan HeQing had already buried his hatred deep inside his heart, didn’t he? Did he really believe that Xiao YuAn was trying to humiliate him and make him a male concubine?

It could be said that after being castrated, he could still stay alive and become a humble servant under the male lead’s Imperial Palace. The same way he made Yan HeQing into his Imperial bodyguard at that time.

Whatever, Xiao YuAn doesn’t even know what he really wants.

He never thought that all his good intentions would be wronged by Yan HeQing in the end, and this heavy frustration haunted Xiao YuAn. He resisted the bitterness growing inside his heart and held his body to pour some water for himself. When the porcelain cup was filled, the bedchamber’s door was suddenly pushed open. Xiao YuAn looked up and his hand trembled, resulting in the porcelain cup to fall on the ground, shattering to pieces.

Well, it seems that he won’t be able to drink any water today.

Xiao YuAn withdrew his gaze and squatted down on the table, trying to pick up the pieces of the porcelain cup, but his hand was cut by the fragments. The scarlet blood stained the broken porcelain, and the fragment got stuck in Xiao YuAn’s fingertip, causing him pain.

The man’s footsteps suddenly hurried over, but Xiao YuAn didn’t seem to hear him approaching. He slowly stood up and looked at his fingertip. His eyes were lax and out of focus, the only thing he could feel was the gloom of the tumultuous sea pressing over him, making him breathless.

Looking at himself, it was really humiliating. He couldn’t protect his own mother, he couldn’t cure his younger brother, or protect the Northern Kingdom. Hong Xiu died because of him, Li Wuding lost his life because of him. However hard he tries, he’s still unable to do anything well. He can’t save anyone.

He didn’t have any more thoughts.

Xiao YuAn stretched out his hand and pulled out the porcelain fragment from his fingertip, then he said to Yan HeQing: “Yan HeQing, just kill me already. This is really tedious.”

Yan HeQing stopped in front of Xiao YuAn, the bitterness inside Yan HeQing was overflowing from his lips and tongue into his heart. Yan HeQing looked into Xiao YuAn’s eyes. His eyes, which originally were warm and smiling, were now dead inside, like a burn-out fire, cold and lonely.

Yan HeQing hadn’t seen Xiao YuAn’s smile for such a long, long time. He missed it to the point of feeling madness and longing; however, he’s not qualified anymore to kneel down in front of Xiao YuAn and beg him to smile at him once again.

“You don’t have to do this…” Yan HeQing said in a hoarse voice with his downcast eyes. “You can stay alive, stay with me, I…”

Xiao YuAn suddenly laughed out loud. His laughter interrupted Yan HeQing’s words, with an extremely sarcastic tone of voice.

As expected, he didn’t guess wrong. Yan HeQing wanted to return ten times the humiliation he felt when Xiao YuAn made him into a male concubine and an Imperial bodyguard.

Xiao YuAn said: “It would be better to kill me now.”

Yan HeQing closed his eyes feeling extreme heartache. Xiao YuAn would rather die than to stay by his side?

Yeah, didn’t he already expect that? The last thing Xiao YuAn wanted to see right now was himself; he could already anticipate that Xiao YuAn would hate him, resent and dislike him.

But, doesn’t he deserve all of this?

The silence haunted both of them for a long time, only one thought seemed to be constant in each other’s minds:

How did everything turn into ths? How did this even happen?

Yan HeQing took a deep breath, slowly opened his eyes, and said: “Eunuch Zhao is dead.”

Xiao YuAn’s shoulders trembled.

“Princess Yongning is safe and sound, don’t worry. I’ll go out first…. You…. Have a good rest.”

Yan HeQing’s eyes lingered on Xiao YuAn’s arm injury, he tried to restrain the impulse to reach out, and turned away.

Seeing that Yan HeQing had already left, Xiao YuAn shaked his hand and went to pour some water for himself, once again.

It turned out that Eunuch Zhao, just like the original book, died in the end. Yan HeQing didn’t show any mercy for his self-inflicted wounds.

This time, Xiao YuAn finally drank from the porcelain cup filled with water.

However, the water tasted salty.

Ahhhhhhh the damn misunderstanding!!! If they could just talk! Instead of assume what the other is thinking!!! (╬⓪益⓪)

Also, why didn’t YHQ clarify that Eunuch Zhao was long dead before he found him? Because of that XYA thinks that YHQ didn’t give a crap about him harming himself for the sake of others… ahhhgggg(´；д；`)

This is killing me

Is rlly frustating to translate too xD y’all not have an idea how many times I had to pause and scream (in my mind lmao).

Footnotes

1. 破罐破摔 pò guàn pò shuāi; It’s a Chinese idiom, this is used as a metaphor for someone who, after a shortcoming, a mistake or a setback, is left to his own devices without being corrected, or who, on the contrary, intends to make things worse. Write oneself off as hopeless and act recklessly. From《将军吟》(jiāng jūn yín), “The Song of the General”, written by (莫应丰 mò yìng fēng) Mo Yingfeng [1938-1989].