I Didn't Choose the Gangsta System, the Gangsta System Chose Me

[Mission: Lift the System's spirit up or it will kill itself after killing you.

Time: Before it kills you.

Reward: Result Depended]

After a moment of complaining since he couldn't believe that such trivial things can cause his death, Joren had no choice but to do it.

"So, what do you want me to do?"

He asked while looked at dried fish 'sitting' on the couch, looking at the empty space.

<Unfish me.>

"What the hell does unfish mean?" but Joren didn't wait for an answer and sat on the couch adjacent to where the dried fish is 'sitting'

"So I have to figure this out myself, huh..." Joren began to ponder by himself. After a moment, he then said.

"Since you don't like that appearance and I assume that you can't change it, how about I give you cool sunglasses?"

Knowing the fish's attachment to being a thug, Joren suggested. As expected, the fish turned its head to Joren as if it had a neck.

<Sniff... I think that would be cool.>

"Good thing, I have one!" Joren then opened one of the two suitcases he brought and took out a pair of sunglasses.

Carefully, he put it on the 'nose bridge' of the fish and crossed the temples, hanging the temple tips on the back of the fish.

"There... I didn't expect it would work..." Joren said.

The dried fish said nothing and floated toward the bathroom where it looked at itself in the mirror.

<Hmm... not bad, not bad at all!>

Joren sighed in relief and a new board popped out.

[Mission Complete: Accept Reward?]

"Yes..." he dropped onto the couch with a tired expression.

[Reward: 10 EXP, +1 Free Stat Points]

[Level: 2 -> 3 ]

[Experience: 10/20 -> 0/40]

[New Skill Unlocked: Sagging Pants.]

[Level 1 Sagging Pants:

Activates whenever your pants are lower than normal, showing your underwear.

The lower it is the greater your Agility is reduced. Proportionately, it gives you additional Strength and Toughness.

Skill Level Up Requirements: Level 5, Street Thug Title, Cool Boxer Shorts.]

"What the..." but before Joren could react, the boards continued popping out.

[Level-Up Reward: +1 Free Stat Points, +1 Thugness]

[Thugness: -141 -> -140]

<So you finally unlocked a skill.> the dried fish came out of the bathroom and with its sunglasses on, looked at Joren.

Joren didn't know how to react to such skill.

<Try it, it has no effect on your stamina, unlike other skills.>

With lifeless eyes, Joren stood up and slightly dropped his pants. Although he was dumbfounded, he was also curious.

[Sagging Pants Activated:

Agility: 62 -> 57

Strength: 57 -> 60

Toughness: 76 -> 79]

Joren has only pushed his pants a few inches down, showing his blue boxer shorts. When it reached half his butt, his stats changed again.

[Agility: 62 -> 52

Strength: 57 -> 63

Toughness: 76 -> 82]

But he didn't stop there. He pushed it down until it was lower than his buttcheeks, the change of stats doubled. He pushed down and down until basically removed his pants as if he will take a shit.

[Agility: 62 -> 02

Strength: 57 -> 88

Toughness: 76 -> 107]

Joren could feel the considerable amount of strength pouring into him. He went towards the couch he sat earlier and lifted it with one hand, with no effort at all.

Thud* he dropped it down.

<Pretty cool, huh?>

Joren put his pants up and looked at the fish.

"This is stupid..."

<... how dare you...>

"Why? Am I wrong!? How does this even work?!" Joren snapped.

<Gangsta System> the fish only answered.

Feeling defeated Joren dropped onto the couch and stared at the ceiling.

<You will be able to find that useful in the future.> the fish added.

However, Joren became unresponsive. His earlier excitement vanished.

The fish sighed.

<You don't understand the importance of each skill. You will need it towards becoming the next Gangsta God.>

"... huh? Gangsta God?" Joren frowned and was once again fascinated by what the fish was saying. It sounds so dumb that it was incredible.

<Yes, as I said before, you are chosen to be the successor. Your predecessor had accomplished paragon and created me, the Gangsta System. It's my job to help you reach the Godhood of being a Gangster.>

"...."

Joren had heard from Scarlett that there are Gods so he didn't doubt the fish so early. After all, it had yet to lie to him, either that or he went crazy and all of this is inside his head.

<You cannot meet him for he is too thug. However, I can bring you to Gangster Heaven and show you what you can see as a Thug Underling. Maybe, seeing it will lighten up the gangsta within your soul.>

'Is this a joke?' Joren had already asked this question in his head, however, he never gets bored of it. He knew if he asked that, he wouldn't get a proper question, so he only asked.

"So it's like the Holy God where he's too holy that his face is filled with holy radiance?"

<Maybe... Close your eyes and I will bring you there.>

Joren just shrugged his shoulders. He would just save his reaction for later if he did arrive at the so-called Gangster Heaven. He closed his eyes and a moment later, the darkness was eaten by light.

Before he knew it, he opened his eyes to see a strange place. The first thing he noticed was the ground.

"White sand?"

Upon his question, the fish with its sunglasses appeared before him.

<No, it is not sand.>

"Snow? But it does not feel like it is nor is it cold?" he crouch down to look at it in amazement.

<Stop, you can snort it later. We are in Gangster Heaven, have some respect.>

'Snort...? What does this...' Joren's eyes widened in realization. He looked far and saw the 'white sand' does not stop there.

As he looked, he saw some plants growing everywhere too. That was when he looked at the river beside him. Walking over it, instead of rocks, there were a lot of syringes lying around.

The river is colored brown yellow.

"..."

<I know that you are amazed. I am also. This is where I stay when I'm not on Earth. Stop dallying around, follow me.>

It was currently night there, on the horizons, Joren could see some green mountains. giant guns were planted as if trees and the moon above had a poster of the sexiest and prettiest woman he had ever seen plastered on it.

He didn't know if the moon was artificial and just smaller than it looks or the poster is astronomically large.

<Don't masturbate to the Gangsta God's top bitch. That bitch had been long gone, have some respect.>

Joren wanted to rebuke that he wouldn't do it in the first place but the fish was acting differently. It's like a devout believer showing their God's holy sanctuary to another.

Further in, Joren could see bongs hanging from the large guns. He didn't know how much time passed but he could see a fog in front of them.

<Let's take a detour, you may get high before meeting the Gangsta God.>

Following the fish, he then arrived at the foot of the mountain, Finally, he learned why the mountains were green. He thought it was the plants again but no, it was cash.

He picked one up and saw-

'They are all counterfeits...'

Going around the mountain, the fish stopped and turned to him.

[This is it. After this turn, you will see a part of the Gangsta God you are only allowed to see.]

Joren gulped and nodded.

The fish then turned to a corner of the mountain and Joren followed.

[Having a thousand platinum-potential rap albums, amassing an army of great brotherhood around the globe, said to have experienced three million prostitutes, having a harem of three hundred top bitches, and winning all gang wars since the age of three.]

Joren finally saw what he could only see with his current level.

[Behold, the Gangsta God!]

Joren was speechless. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. In front of him was an altar. In the middle of the altar was gold.

Golden pants and a sweet spinning belt.

"No... no way..."

<Yes, you think right. Gangsta Gods so gangsta his pants sagged so much that he's not even wearing it.>

"Does that mean...?" Joren looked up and saw a thick cloud hovering above the altar.

<Gangsta God's so gangsta he smoked so much that he created his own version of L*puta.>

Joren made a weird expression.

<Gangsta God's so drip, that pants are more expensive than any mansion back on Earth.>

'Drip? What does hell does that mean?'

<There are more places here. Like the Street, the Bar, and the Basketball Court. However, you will only get a portion of it once you level up. For now, let's go back to the real world.>

Joren blinked and he saw the same ceiling before he was brought to the Gangsta Heaven.