I Don't Want to Be Loved

Chapter 181 – You, the one I hate the most

Translator – Yue

Rihannan suddenly felt weak. She extended her hand and gripped the wall, looking for support. She never expected Igor to be the first to find out, especially since not even Mrs. Cessly had noticed.

“I didn’t want to hide it from you… I was planning on telling you today”.

Igor’s face abruptly changed in that instant. A radiant smile filled with happiness appeared on his face. He reached out his hands towards Rihannan.

“Rihannan! You really are…”

Rihannan brusquely slapped his hands away from her, staring at him coldly. As he was violently turned down, Igor was left paralyzed, unable to step any closer.

“It seems like that’s the one thing you haven’t changed at all. Your obsession to have an heir. You are repugnantly the same, even now. But don’t think that I’ll let you play with me again, as you did in my past life, even though you’d cheated on me with my sister”. Rihannan tightened her jaw as she spoke. “I know. To you, having an heir is more important than anything else in the world. If I give birth to a boy, I won’t do anything about it. You can keep your right over the child, as stated in our contract. However, if I give birth to a girl, I hope you’ll let me leave this place with my daughter, once our contract is over”.

Igor looked intently at Rihannan with a perplexed expression before slowly opening his mouth. “Do you remember what I said in the past, regarding the child’s gender?”

Rihannan bit her lips. Of course she remembered. When she’d asked him what would happen if the child she gave birth to was not a boy, he said he wouldn’t care at all.

“My answer is the same as back then. Regardless of whether the child is a boy or girl, it will be brought up within this palace”.

Even though she was happy about Igor’s answer in the past, after all that’s happened, she couldn’t agree with him. Enraged, she yelled at him.

“What use would a daughter be to you if she’ll struggle to keep your lineage? If your goal is to harass me, then stop. Isn’t what you’ve done to me in the past enough?”

“Even if she’s a princess, it won’t make a difference. She’ll inherit the crown. I’ll make sure no one opposes my decision”.

Igor approached Rihannan. He was close enough for her to feel his breath on her skin. Rihannan raised her chin and looked at him. The blood that was flowing down his face had hardened on his temples, making him looking more threatening.

“I’ll say it load and clear. I’ll hold my end of the contract, and I won’t give up the child, boy nor girl. If you want to leave this place once the contract is over, you may do so, but you’ll do it alone, leaving the child behind”.

Two sets of eyes stared at each other, unblinking. In the past, whenever Rihannan looked into Igor’s dark eyes, she’d feel frightened, as though everything that has happened was her fault, a direct result of her inadequacy, so she’d always quickly lowered her gaze.

In this life, however, she’d never do that again. She stood her ground, her gaze leveled, and not once did she think of backing down to his threats.

“If that’s the case, then alright”

Igor’s eyes widened in shock.

Rihannan pressed her lips, lowering her head with regret. “As mentioned in the contract, if our child is born, regardless of gender, I’ll leave this country leaving him or her behind”.

“Rihannan…”

“You probably thought I’d break down and submit to your will, that I wouldn’t abandon our child. If I were the same person you knew in my past life… perhaps that’d be true. I’d hate you to my core, but I’d stay for the child’s sake. But I did not spend the past six years wasting my life away, like before! It wasn’t grand, but I lived the best I could”.

Rihannan’s eyes shone, blue fireballs dancing within her eyes.

“The day I came back to the past, I made up my mind of living an adequate life of my own free will. Not yours, nor my father’s, nor anybody else’s. You won’t understand the sufferings I went through. How could you? When I was willing to understand you, you weren’t. And you won’t understand my pain from the last six years, either. That’s why you brought me here under false pretenses, is it not? You want to ruin me, right? You pushed me down once and now you want to do it all over again… but this time, I won’t make it easy. I will not die in that cold prison under false charges!”

After saying those words, Rihannan spoke with a cold voice.

“Till I give birth, I’ll live in the Queen Mother’s Palace”.

“Rihannan!”

“If you bring Leticia here, you may do whatever you want with her, I don’t care. Do what you will, as you’ve always done. Even though she’s now the wife of an old viscount, she loves you very much. I’m sure she’ll be happy to come running into the palace and straight into your arms”.

“Don’t say those things”. Igor looked furious. “I do not have those thoughts, nor do I want that woman!”

“Heavens!”. Rihannan laughed dejectedly. “Hearing you say that… it seems like she couldn’t satisfy you enough after my death in my past life, Igor”.

Igor held onto Rihannan’s arms, squeezing her.

Looking into his purple eyes, Rihannan lowered her voice and murmured. “If you are not willing to kill your son with your own hands, then let go of me, Igor… forever”.

Igor couldn’t reply. Dumbstruck, he slowly let go of her.

Rihannan left the room without glancing back.

***

“Grand Chamberlain! Grand Chamberlain!”

Mrs. Cessly run desperately, holding on her skirt. People around her looked curiously. Mrs. Cessly always held herself with elegance, so her behavior now was attracting plenty of curious looks.

Mrs. Cessly grabbed one of the servants walking pass her and asked “have you seen the Grand Chamberlain?”

“He said he’d go visit the Palace’s Treasury for a while… oh, here he comes”.

The servant pointed at Basil, who was walking peacefully. Mrs. Cessly approached him in the blink of an eye and grabbed his wrist. Startled, Basil struggled as though he was under attack.

Mrs. Cessly growled. “Now is not the time to complain! You must go stop Her Majesty the queen!”

“Stop Her Majesty?”