Chapter 148 - You Flatter Me
"What happened to you?" Jocelyn asked when the implications set in.
She had already guessed that Keith had some sort of childhood trauma because of his low self-esteem and need for external validation. He had never said much about it though, likely for the same reasons she hadn't.
He sighed and responded with two words. "Foster care."
Ah. Many of Jocelyn's clients were in foster care. She knew that sense of hopelessness well. That explained a lot. He tried to be whatever he thought people wanted him to so they wouldn't send him away like everyone else had.
"How long?" she asked gently.
"I went in when I was six and stayed until I aged out. Never got adopted. The court case with my dad lasted six years before his rights were terminated and by that point I was too old for anyone to be interested.
"I had three failed adoptions before giving up and deciding to spend the rest of my time in the system without trying. None of my foster homes lasted more than two years. Why do adults have to be so selfish and not think about their kids?
"My mom walked out because my dad was a drug addict and would do anything to get a fix and he spent most of my childhood in and out of jail. Neither of them cared about me or how their actions would affect my life.
"I used humor as a coping mechanism and even that annoyed people so I had to tone myself down everywhere I went. I wanted people to like me and saw Mercury on TV once surrounded by adoring fans when I was in middle school. That's what made me think I could be a hero too. Isn't that sad?"
They were so similar even if their ways of coping had been different. Jocelyn had known for a while that this was part of what drew them to each other.
His complex toward Mercury made a lot more sense knowing he was the reason Keith bothered becoming a hero in the first place. It was really unnecessary though. He didn't need to act like someone else in order to be loved.
"I'm sorry, Keith," Jocelyn mumbled into his shoulder. "You shouldn't have had to go through that either."
He let out a heavy sigh and held her tighter. "What's done is done. No use dwelling on it. Things are working out much better for me these days so I'm trying to look forward instead of back."
Her heart warmed at the implication that she was a part of the reason for that. "That's a good mindset to have."
"It's mostly thanks to you."
Jocelyn pulled back from the hug slightly so she could kiss him. She couldn't help it when he said something like that. All she had ever wanted to do was make a difference for people and finding out she had done that for the one she loved meant a lot to her.
Keith desperately kissed her back and she could feel how much he loved her and needed her in that moment. As much as she didn't like talking about her past, she couldn't deny that they had needed to have this conversation.
Now that it was behind them they would be able to enjoy the rest of their vacation in peace. She was determined to have a good time taking her first ever break that wasn't the direct result of being taken out of action against her will. Everyone needed a break sometimes. Even people like her who lived going from distraction to distraction.
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Keith hadn't thought it was possible to hate anyone more than he hated his parents but Joss's were giving them a run for their money. Hearing about her childhood explained why she was the way she was perfectly. She hadn't been given the chance to try and discover who she was or what she liked because she was too busy trying not to let anyone notice she existed.
It broke his heart. He also felt horrible for misjudging her as Frostine. All of her behavior back then was explained perfectly by how she had grown up.
If only they had known this about each other sooner! They would have had that sense of understanding and not been so alone years earlier. Unfortunately, he couldn't change the past. All he could do was appreciate having her in his life properly going forward.
Despite the heaviness of the conversation that night the rest of the trip was lighthearted and every bit as fun as he had hoped it would be. Watching Joss experience things she hadn't before was always a good time though it was now a bit tinged with regret knowing why she reacted to things the way she did.
Keith tried not to let it get to him. Once they got back to New York he needed to crack down and focus on studying for his firefighter exams.
He wasn't only working toward his future anymore. He was working toward theirs.
Whatever the future brought, he wanted to face it with Joss by his side. He wouldn't be able to stand beside her with pride unless he had a better job and a way to pay at least half of the household expenses.
He knew she didn't care about things like that—she just wanted to be with him—but he did. She was always taking care of everybody else. She deserved to be taken care of somewhat for a change. She deserved to be able to take it easy now and then without having to carry the people around her.
Keith studied hard for his exams with that in mind and was able to pass them on the first go. Because of his references at the volunteer fire department he was able to get hired at a fire station in Brooklyn about twenty minutes from where he currently lived.
Joss was incredibly proud of him and ended up ordering a custom decorated cake from Avery West-Slater, who was apparently a cake artist. It was decorated with frosting flames and had 'Congratulations Keith' written on it.
"I really need to learn how to bake so I can do something like this myself next time we need to celebrate," she said with a shrug after serving up two slices. "Maybe when my painting classes finish I should take a baking class. I would need a kitchen to practice in though."
"You can always use mine," Keith offered.
The very idea of Joss wanting to bake things personally for him filled him with warmth. She could be really sweet when she wanted to be.
"That would be nice," she said. "I'll never be as good as Avery—she did go to culinary school—but I should really know how to feed myself better. A cooking class would be wise too. I can't live off of freezer meals forever.
"Speaking of Avery, she invited us to go do an escape room with her and some of her friends in a few weeks. I told her we would have to work around whatever your new schedule is and she said that was fine."
Keith had done an escape room once in college. He could see Joss really loving something like that with how good she was at puzzles.
He would have to get over his mixed feelings about Mercury since she seemed excited at the prospect of doing something with friends. The guy had never done anything to him. He was being stupidly jealous for no reason.
Christian Slater wasn't the only former hero with his life together now! Keith was on track to get exactly where he wanted to go. There was no reason to be jealous or feel inferior in any way.
He had just been accepted into his career of choice, which was no small feat, and had the woman he loved by his side. He didn't have a reason to be jealous of anybody right now. In this moment he was perfectly happy to be Keith Savage for the first time in his life.
"That sounds fun," he told her with a smile. "You're going to really like escape rooms; I can tell."
Joss let out a small laugh. "Is that so?"
"They're basically big puzzles and you're the puzzle queen so…"
"The puzzle queen? That's a new one."
"Am I wrong? You beat so many phone games while your knee was recovering that I can't even keep track of them all. And did SIX thousand-piece puzzles. I couldn't even do one of those on my own."
A pleased expression crossed her face. "You flatter me."
"It's not flattery if it's true," Keith said with a shrug. "What can I say? I'm dating a genius."
Joss laughed harder this time. "I wouldn't categorize myself as a genius by any stretch of the imagination but I'm glad you think so highly of me."
"Of course I do. You're the best person in the world."
She leaned over to kiss him with a soft smile. "Pretty sure that's you. Thanks though. I love you, Keith."
"I love you too."
He truly did. He loved her so much! At this point in his life his only wish was that he would be able to keep her with him forever.. And as soon as things were a bit more stable with his job he was going to tell her that.