I Fell For My Nemesis

Everything Avery had been thinking for weeks poured out of her until she felt empty. No rage. No sadness. Just…nothingness. She would rather feel that than the cocktail of emotions that had been plaguing her so she leaned back on her hands and sighed in relief. 

Angelo saw the difference it made in the way she was carrying herself and shrugged before doing the exact same thing. His rant was primarily focused at Hunsacher rather than his dad but he was also angry that he had to lose both of his parents and didn't even know who he was anymore. 

Avery's heart went out to him. She hadn't realized he was having somewhat of an identity crisis. 

She could relate. She certainly didn't feel like the same person she had been before all of this started. Grief and revenge could do that to you. 

"Do you feel any better now?" she asked him. 

Angelo let out a small laugh. "A little. I can't believe that actually worked. Pretty sure your husband thinks we're crazy now though. Not that I care but you have a lot of explaining to do."

Avery turned her head and saw Christian watching them anxiously. From the distance he was at he probably hadn't been able to hear much of what they said but he would have heard the screams for sure. She was going to have to use Angelo as an excuse. 

"Eh, I'll deal with it. You going to be okay?"

"Yeah. I'll come pay my respects to Tío Levi now," he said as he got off the ground and offered her a hand to help her up. 

They walked back over to Christian together and he tactfully didn't say anything about what he had seen or heard. "Hey, Angelo. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks," he said crisply before setting down the flowers he had brought for Levi's grave. He sighed and rubbed the top of the headstone before murmuring, "I wish you were here, Tío."

Avery did too. She wished both of them were here and that she and Angelo would have been able to live their lives as normal people in their twenties. Unfortunately, her wish was futile. There was no bringing back the dead. 

"Where's everyone else?" she asked, trying to shake those thoughts free. 

Angelo squinted toward the parking lot. "I think I see them over there. Better prepare yourself for the bombardment of sympathy and make room for all of their flowers."

Avery snorted. They did always bring a lot of stuff with them when they came. They all considered her dad as one of them so they went all out for him just like they did for their actual brother.

Sure enough, she was swarmed by people hugging her and her dad's grave became so decorated you would think his death had been recent. The Cruz clan didn't stay at the graves long because they didn't want the food to get cold so they paid their respects and ushered everyone to Domenica's place since it was the biggest. They usually held parties there. 

The food helped Avery nearly as much as the scream had. She had thought she wouldn't have any appetite but the delicious smells got to her. 

Everyone went around telling stories about Horatio, Levi, or both and Christian sat silently yet supportively by her side with his hand in hers. If only he knew that he was listening to memories about his original nemesis. 

"I never met Levi but I can tell he was a great man by the way Avery talks about him," he said when everyone else around the table had contributed their memories. "Horatio too."

Avery nearly snorted. He had met him. Many, many times. Her dad used to complain about Mercury a lot after she caught him sneaking in through the window and explained what he was doing and why. That happened less than a month into his endeavor so she had about eight months' worth of complaints to go off of before she met the man in question. 

Her dad and husband had disliked each other at best because they kept causing problems for each other. And Christian would never know. 

He never met Horatio but he had been tech support for Levi the same way Angelo was for her. He was just as much as part of Nox's exploits. A nameless extension of Nox. 

Only she could appreciate the irony in that statement. Angelo didn't know he had been Mercury so he accepted it at face value the way everyone else around the table did. She had to hold back her laughter alone. 

One of these days the irony was going to kill her. Her life was such a mess!

When they got home after the dinner was over Christian looked over at her expectantly and Avery felt a pit form in her stomach. He was going to ask about what happened earlier, wasn't he?

"So what was with the screaming at the cemetery?"

She had been dead on. At least she had an explanation ready. "Angelo needed an outlet to get out his feelings so I suggested we both scream at the same time. Have you ever heard of the five stages of grief? Anger is one of them. They don't go in any particular order and you can go back and forth between them any number of times. 

"He was angry and needed to blow off steam and honestly so was I. I feel a lot better now but I realize that probably looked really weird. Sorry if I freaked you out. I didn't mean to. I was just trying to process things and help my best friend at the same time."

Christian nodded as he mulled this over. "So you're angry that you didn't get enough time with your dad."

Among other things. "Yeah." 

"I'm sorry. You should have been able to have that."

Yes, she should have. More time with him and not having the weight of his goals on her shoulders. That just about summed up her complicated feelings about his murder. 

"We both should have. Me and Angelo," Avery said in a hard voice. "But we didn't and now we have to deal with the fallout. There's nothing we can do about it so sometimes we just have to scream."

Christian hugged her and rubbed her back comfortingly. "Scream all you need to." 

"I think I got it all out earlier but thanks. Most of the time I'm fine but sometimes the anger just hits me out of nowhere all over again. Today was just one of those days. Don't worry about me too much. I'm going to be fine."

Even as she said them Avery didn't believe her own words. Would she ever truly be fine? She didn't think such a thing was possible until Nolan Hunsacher had been brought to his knees. 

Angelo definitely wouldn't be fine until then. She worried about him sometimes. More than usual after seeing her usually stoic friend break down earlier today. After all this time he was finally cracking under the pressure. What had been the trigger?

"Are you sure?" Christian asked. "If you need anything—"

"I don't. I already have you," Avery said with a small smile in his direction. 

As long as she had him she would be fine. She needed to make sure she balanced all of the other stuff going on properly so she wouldn't lose him. 

She couldn't bear to lose Christian too when she had already lost so much. There were so few people left that she cared about on a personal level. Each one was precious to her. She couldn't afford to lose any of them but especially not her husband. 

She just needed to handle things more efficiently. Have better excuses. Sneak out more in the middle of the night so he didn't notice she was gone. As long as she stayed on top of her Nox duties perfectly she would be able to stay with him and enjoy the life they were trying to build together. 

Avery had to fight for that future. She couldn't let anyone—especially not Nolan Hunsacher—take it from her. Not when he had taken her father and uncle in one go.

Someday…when all of this was over…she wanted to have a normal life. One involving kids and possibly even pets. She didn't know what Christian's opinion was but she always thought it might be nice to get a combination of cats and dogs. She hadn't been able to when she was younger because her dad had been allergic and these days she had so much else on her plate she couldn't think about taking care of anything else. 

Thoughts of a better future were all that kept her going right now. She couldn't lose out on that. On having a family again. One that was truly hers instead of borrowed. 

Avery had a lot of work to do but she was determined to see it through to the end. She had to be on top of her game as both a wife and Nox if she wanted to make that happen. No faltering allowed. Not when she was closer to the finish line than she had ever been before. 

Even if she was conflicted about all of this she had to see it through to the end.. She owed her dad that much.