Chapter 91: My second kiss, stolen again. (2)
"You don't seem that surprised, C?" Suddenly, the bookworm stops and stares into my soul. "Normally, people would ask why. At least, they would show some curiosity. But you didn't. I wonder..."
Oh, crap! Seeing the bookworm in her weakest state has made me forget how sharp she is! What I did really raised some flags! She has got me dead right here!
"That, coupled with the fact that you know what I was feeling despite not knowing me well, tells me there are more of you than meets the eye." The faint smile disappears on Kurokawa's lips. And her clear green eyes, despite being hidden slightly by her bangs, remain focused on me, never letting the reflection of my body go. It is as though she knows what I am trying to hide and is forcing an answer. "My first question is not that hard. Why, C... did you say you were...proud of me?"
Oof. That is a difficult thing to say. What am I supposed to do now? Oh! We are all living inside a game, and I have seen your life over again like a broken record? Your countless deaths are nothing but a written script? Putting aside the fact that revealing the truth of our lives will immediately force a reset, saying the whole thing seems delusional, at best. So many things can go wrong, honestly!
"I...uh...Well...You wouldn't believe me if I told you everything. It's so utterly ridiculous that it makes no sense whatsoever." Remembering the last thing I saw in the fantasy world, I tell her in the most sincere way I can think of. One tiny misstep and everything falls into ruin. "...I'm afraid I must refuse your inquiry for now. Please, forgive me."
"You wouldn't know unless you try, C. Wasn't that the same reason you chased after me for the second time? Although I specifically told you not to?" Kurokawa's eyes keep locking on me while I swallow my breath. Each word coming out from her beautiful lips is simply spot on. The worst thing is I have no idea what to reply to our bookworm since she uses my logic against me.
The spell is simple but unbreakable...
Feeling bashful, I am stunned dead in my position, especially when stared down by Kurokawa like that. Utilizing all that is in her arsenal, the bookworm delivers precise and critical attacks. Under that influence, I feel like the red and white bullseye at the end of a shooting range, and Kurokawa is the World's best sniper.
"By the way, I'm glad you did it, C. Truly. You don't understand how much it means to me to see you again! If you didn't, then I wouldn't know what to do." Sensing the turmoil in my chest, Kurokawa squeezes my hand for reassurance. "I want my answers, please. No matter what, I will accept you, C. A kind man like you wouldn't betray my pleas for a second time, right?"
Shit! I have no way to refuse if she says that! Kurokawa has got my conscience on the line!
"I...kinda saw a...um... simulation of sorts?" Words, do not fail me now! "A hypothetical situation where you told me exactly what to do in the future if I ever encountered the same event."
Frantically looking around to see if there are any signs of corrosion from the buildings, I sigh in relief. Fortunately, this time my words are not triggering a wipe-out of reality.
Squeezing my hand again to remind me to keep going, she says: "Please, elaborate. I'm fascinated to know how you knew what to tell me. Please also understand this is merely me asking for some clarification, not condemning you to anything. What you said, C, was the best thing I wanted to hear."
The light in her eyes did not waver. Instead, since I started stammering, those verdant colors only got brighter. Why is she getting excited about this? Maybe she is just happy that I finally answered something correctly. Or perhaps she thinks it is fun to hear me talk nonsense? Kurokawa is not that type of person, though.
No matter the case, there is no reason to lie anymore. The story Kurokawa wants to hear is one gigantic dream my brain conjured up due to whatever, so I do not have to worry. Even if I tell her everything, including the reality upon which our lives depend, she will still laugh it off. I need to remember how my words would trigger the end of this iteration.
"When I touched you, Kurokawa, I was brought to a strange reality. In that place, Laura and I were not a couple, Rachel was nowhere to be seen, and you... were on the path of destruction just like moments ago. The details were not entirely similar, but the outcome would not differ. If you continued to walk the path in that reality, sooner or later...I would not be seeing you...for good."
*Gu*
The grip on my hand tightens, but it is not painful. Contrary, I feel warm from Kurokawa's tender touch.
"What else?" Our bookworm does not move her eyes away from me.
"I was tending to your wound, and you complimented me for being so good at it. I still am good, don't get me wrong. It's one of the redeeming qualities of mine. If we go to the infirmary now, I'll clean and disinfect your hand just fine. Soon you'll have your hand good as new! Oh! And the reality I saw was also the infirmary."
"Thank you," Kurokawa whispers quietly. She sounds almost sad. "I'll be sure to follow you after this."
"Don't try to run this time."
"I won't. Even if I do, you will still follow me. I know that now." She says with confidence. "Please, continue your...story."
"Okay. This part can get a bit tripping, so brace yourself."
Hearing that, the girl close to me nods.
"Although you had someone else on your mind, it was not because you were in love with him. No. Personally, you were holding an ungraspable amount of debt in your heart. Looking at you in that reality, I could instantly tell you were unhappy with your life. It was as if you were counting the days until...a final ending, a final method to release all that pain lingering inside your head."
Kurokawa remains silent. She is letting me talk rather than commenting. Still, I notice her slender body trembling ever so slightly. It is not the wind's fault.
"I didn't want that, Kurokawa. Not now, not ever. I didn't want to see you suffer. I didn't want to see you living in agony. So...I approached you and said what I wanted to say."
"What...would that be, C?"
Stopping a second to find the right words, I give her the truth. She deserves to know everything. "That I knew you killed your mother. That you hid her body somewhere. That Han helped you with it. Without anything to compensate for Han to keep his mouth shut, you came to offer your precious body. That every time I came to do something for you, everything would end up in a worse state, and you would be in much more distress than before. And yet, I kept coming back anyway. Again, and again,...and again. You told me I was too late. I knew that. Always did."
There is silence between us. Kurokawa's gaze never leaves mine. My voice is no longer calm, but I cannot stop.
"I did all that to keep you from...killing yourself... But you know, that wasn't the strangest thing. Would you like to know what?"
"Y-yes, please." Tears running down her face, Kurokawa answers with a shaky voice.
Stroking her wounded hand softly, I continue: "You believed me. All the way. You did not doubt me one bit. No matter how absurd I was, you never ridiculed me for those things. It truly gave me hope."
"W-what did you hope for?"
"Your happiness, of course. To see you alive and well, to see your smile and dance under the sun with your hair tied in a ponytail. To see you finally get to that beach you always wanted." I then stare into those green jewels. "Don't be surprised. I know you that much. Those novels you read always have a compulsory fanservice beach arc."
Her lips quiver. Her tears fall without stopping. It looks like my joke did not work as well as I intended them to.
"...C..."
She calls my name once more.
Placing a hand on Kurokawa's head, I give her a gentle pat. "Yet, my hope did not last long since it ended too soon. That reality reached its boiling point, and all was erased in seconds. All matter was corroded and dissolved into thin air. Imagine if time was sped up exponentially, everything would crumble, right? It was the sign of the apocalypse. Finally, in that last second, when we were about to be consumed by the void, you told me to say those words. I am proud of you. Not because you told me to, but because you are worthy of being loved for all you have done."
Now that I see Kurokawa like this, a fire is being lit up again. The flame burns within, making me feel warm and safe. A warmth that I have long grown fearful of it.
A fire called hope. A yearning for a good ending. For me, for all of them.
Maybe, I can tell the girls everything else.
Just maybe, we can save everyone.
However, I need to block Kurokawa's incoming kiss first.
"Can't, Kurokawa. I have a girlfriend."
"Shame. But hey, what's that over there?!"
"Where!? What!?" I look to the direction Kurokawa points but see nothing strange.
After turning back, a familiar yet strange sensation is placed upon my lips.
*Rumble*
"OH! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Before blacking out, I can still hear Laura's yelling and a faint sound of thunder.