I Was Hoping She Would Notice but again Now When She Did... Im Tired

Lucian rode up to the college on his bike, parking swiftly as his thoughts remained elsewhere. The scene he’d just escaped from at home, the raw vulnerability of his mother’s plea, still lingered in his mind, but he pushed it aside, determined to keep his focus forward.

As he walked through the parking lot toward the college gates, he noticed the subtle change in atmosphere around him. Students were scattered in groups, catching up with each other, laughing, and moving through the flow of their regular morning routines, yet something felt different today. Conversations dropped into hushed tones as he passed, heads subtly turning his way, though he tried to ignore it.

"Hey, look it’s him," one student whispered to his friend beside him.

"Lucian? I heard he rejected Avey’s proposal yesterday," the other replied, his tone tinged with surprise. He hadn’t been there but was eager for the details.

"Yeah, yeah, he did," the first student nodded, leaning in as he recalled the scene, voice lowering further. "Can you believe it? He turned her down in front of everyone. I mean, we all thought he was head-over-heels for her, right? It’s not like he hid it! For five years… and just like that?" He shook his head in disbelief.

Another student joined in, voice tinged with confusion. "You’re kidding. He just gave up on her? I mean, come on he proposed just last week, didn’t he? Then two days later, he ends it?" Her brows furrowed, struggling to understand how someone could change their feelings so quickly. "Did something happen?"

One of her friends, a girl who’d been there to witness the moment, interjected, her voice softened by empathy. "Honestly… I think something big must have happened. Avey was crying like I’ve never seen before, even begging him not to leave her," she said, her tone hushed as if the memory weighed heavily on her. "It was… painful to watch."

Another girl, hand on her chest, sighed deeply. "But did you see the way he rejected her? There was something almost… beautiful in the way he did it. I’ve never seen someone handle rejection like that. He was so gentle, so calm, and respectful toward her. He wasn’t angry or cruel not even a hint of it. He treated her like she mattered, even as he walked away."

The first girl nodded, her face softening with admiration. "And what did he say? I’ll never forget it. He told her, ’I’m rejecting you not because I hate you, Avey. I could never hate you. It’s just… my heart can’t love anyone right now. I’m broken, and I feel afraid of letting someone in.’" She trailed off, pressing a hand to her heart as she thought back to the expression on his face. "He looked so… broken. But at the same time, he was so warm, so gentle. I honestly think I fell a little bit in love with him right then."

Several other girls in the group nodded, faces alight with a mixture of admiration and curiosity. "I know exactly what you mean," one of them murmured, her cheeks flushing slightly. "He’s so handsome, but there’s something deeper about him now something I never really noticed before."

Another girl with glossy black hair spoke up, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Yeah, right? I mean, he was always good-looking and rich. But before, he just… felt different. Kind of like there was this dark cloud always following him around, or this invisible wall he kept between himself and everyone else."

The first girl nodded in agreement, eyes distant. "Exactly. Even a week ago, I’d have said he was cold, or distant… but now, I don’t know. I feel like there’s so much more to him than I ever realized. It’s like I can see past that wall for the first time, and it’s changing everything I thought I knew about him." She frowned thoughtfully. "I can’t really explain it. It just feels like he’s… human. And I can’t believe I used to hate him, for no reason at all."

A friend nudged her, grinning. "You’re not the only one. People used to spread rumors about him, talking about how he was ’heartless’ or ’weird,’ just because he was quiet. But honestly? Now, it’s like I understand why he kept to himself. It’s like he’s been hurt, and people just didn’t see it before."

Lucian continued through the gates, his face expressionless but his mind whirling. He’d overheard every word, but he kept his pace steady, unwilling to show any sign that he had noticed them. To others, he may have seemed like a lone figure aloof, distant, with an air of quiet intensity that some found intriguing, and others found unsettling. But inside, he felt the weight of his solitude pressing heavily on him.

Lucian let out a quiet sigh as he listened to the passing comments and murmurs around him. This time, he noticed with an odd sense of detachment that the rumors actually seemed to carry a tone of respect, almost admiration a stark contrast to the venomous gossip that once clung to his name. He remembered well how people used to talk about him, and the sting of those words still echoed faintly in his memory.

Just a few months ago, he’d overhear whispers full of disdain, voices calling him "pathetic," a "hopeless dog chasing Avey," or worse a "shameless gold-digger" after her family’s wealth. There were times when the remarks became sharper, more cutting. "What a disgrace. Can’t he respect her clear rejections?" they’d say. The assumption was always that he was persistent to a fault, blind and deaf to her refusals. No one even bothered to think there might be depth to his feelings, that it wasn’t a chase, but a painful yearning.

In those days, his persistence in pursuing Avey seemed to annoy people more than anything, but it was more than just some silly infatuation. He genuinely thought he loved her, that she was worth every bruise his pride endured, every rejection she dealt him. She was his constant, the one person he thought could truly understand him, could bridge that aching loneliness he couldn’t shake. But in the end, he’d come to realize his devotion only left him vulnerable, open to pain he never could have imagined.

The memories were still fresh, and they brought a familiar ache to his chest. He’d pushed past the hurt then, his skin thickening with every cutting remark, building an armor stronger than any wall. But now, after everything, he felt that armor crack under the weight of his past, under the fresh rejection he’d given her this time, he was the one who walked away, but he wasn’t left with any satisfaction.

Maybe it was because he understood a hard truth now love wasn’t worth the risk. He’d learned that through scars that ran deep, through long, sleepless nights and empty mornings. Love was a risk he simply couldn’t afford to take again. It took everything from him last time.his pride, his heart, his sense of self-worth, and nearly his life. If there was one thing he had to remember from his last life, it was that love, no matter how profound, held a hidden cruelty. And he was done falling for it.

His hands tightened into fists, though he kept his face as neutral as ever. To anyone looking, Lucian Kane was still that impenetrable figure, unbothered and unaffected by anyone or anything around him. Inside, though, he could feel the weight of his own defenses pressing down on him. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to let anyone in again, even if part of him still craved it. The love he’d once sought, that he’d thrown himself into wholeheartedly, now felt like a trap he couldn’t escape from fast enough.

A wry smile touched his lips for just a moment, one that held no warmth but a trace of bitterness. "Love?" he thought to himself. "No, thanks. Been there, survived that."