I’ll Quit as The Empress

The sight from the past when she lay on the brink of death no longer felt bizarre as Evelyn opted to accept her fate.

The vain and lonely death. Evelyn approached her bed to see her such self. The courtiers who couldn’t see her spirit, circling around her with their dreary face, as if they had foreseen her death.

[‘Sir Philip, how…….’]

She found Lily was already weeping hard. Philip, who looked older than she remembered, shook his head with a somber. Evelyn passed them and saw herself lying on the bed. A pasty complexion, bony-face, and doll-like body with eyes closed like a plaster figure.

“I was like this?” Evelyn frowned at the haggard and lonely woman’s face, and she didn’t believe that woman was her.

“… I was alone….I don’t want to remember this.”

She called Fabian desperately just before she encountered the death. But her heartless husband didn’t answer her until she died.

Still, it was fate that she couldn’t choose. The moment of her passing, witnessed by everyone. The painful moment to her afterlife would have passed quickly.

[‘Evelyn!’]

A voice that had never been heard in the past rang through the air. Evelyn’s spirit body hardened for a moment when she saw someone rushing in desperate steps into her bed.

“No, it can’t be…”

That person was Fabian, who was over 30.

“No. I didn’t remember this.”

Because in her memory, Fabian never came until she breathed her last.

“The past… can’t change.”

Fabian came to bed and held her death-hand before Evelyn could grasp what was going on. She couldn’t believe the sight in front of her, but his black eyes were moist with a droplet of tears. Desperateness frowned upon his touch as he swept Evelyn’s languid cheek.

……Fabian couldn’t have done that….

[‘Evelyn…please don’t leave me.’]

Evelyn suddenly was confused and had a breaking headache.

[‘How do I live long years without you?’]

She couldn’t believe her 30 over-unfamiliar-husband, whom she saw right now—the first time she’d seen how pathetic Fabian was, who begged her so sadly.

Was this also a side effect of magic?

No, she thought it wasn’t.

[‘You promised me…for the rest of your life you will live as my wife. That lifetime can’t be this short.’]

At that moment, Evelyn’s chest-who was lying on her bed, shook once.

[‘Evelyn!’]

Her breathing was billowing, heralded the beginning of her death. Fabian’s hand, grabbing her, trembled as if it had convulsed several times.

[‘What are you guys doing! Save the Empress, save Evelyn!’]

But no one could answer his ferocious cry.

[‘If she can’t be saved, all of you will die as well.’]

His eerie black eyes were mercilessly shined.

[‘But if your lives aren’t enough, everyone in this palace, all of them …’]

His frustration had been thrown into the wrong place. Evelyn’s heart was stirred again for a moment when Fabian looked only at her.

“These memories …… I don’t remember it.” Evelyn’s soul tapped Fabian’s hapless cheek. It was a sad touch that he couldn’t feel. “No, you didn’t come to me….” The past resentment came to her memory. “Until I died alone……you left me behind.”

Repentance scratched her chest once more.

“I called you till I died.”

However, deep within her heart, Evelyn had a premonition. Evelyn’s soul began to cloud, and she stared at her dying body.

“Ah….”

Her subconscious refused to recall her death.

“Why did I forget?”

Evelyn was so afraid that she had twisted her memory.

“I, already… … I couldn’t say anything.”

In her memory, Evelyn cried out Fabian’s name to the end. But he sent Evelyn dying alone without giving her a single answer. And that pain was unbearable.

[‘There’s no one who can live in a world without you, Evelyn.’]

It was really torturous.

[‘Evelyn!’]

His sooty eyes were eagerly glancing at Evelyn. The sound of her breathing, which faded with time, seemed to gnaw at Fabian’s chest.

[‘Your Majesty… forgive me……the Empress has already…… I can’t hear anything.’]

Philip, whose hair was white, opened his mouth because he could not see Fabian’s miserable figure.

[‘For three days, the Empress’s consciousness hasn’t returned. Because she was forced to use strong medicine in a coma state….. she’s already…’]

“I’m…. already…?”

Evelyn’s dormant memories came rushing back at that precise moment. There was such a vast and cold darkness. She had already lost consciousness once it unfolded.

“This dark place ….did it emerge from the depths of my mind?”

Evelyn was staring at herself. Her other self screamed with pain and pleaded, trapping in her own body. Even though she cried alone, all she received was futility because no one could hear her.

“What happened? I’m so scared to be alone ….. Am I still trapped there?”

She couldn’t understand her babbling, but the other Evelyn’s hands were twitching.

Evelyn’s soul had the chance to see it, and she unknowingly took the hand of that pitiful woman.

She found that both her mind and her vision had drifted far away as if they’d been sucked in. When Evelyn first became conscious of her surroundings, she had been enveloped in darkness.

[‘Your Majesty… it hurts so much…….’]

She was able to picture herself crouching in the dark.

[‘I’m so scared……. No….I don’t want to die…’]

Her heart was beating fast, writhing in soreness.

[‘Why…… did you leave me alone?…. Fa… bian…….’]

When she witnessed how miserable she was, it was difficult for Evelyn to look at herself.

[‘I’m lonely, I’m afraid ……. It’s too dark in here……. Why aren’t you by my side… … .’]

Vaguely, she could hear Fabian’s voice coming from afar. Evelyn, who was lost in the darkness, tried to say something, but it felt like her voice couldn’t be heard by him.

“No.” Evelyn approached herself, who was crouching on the ground and weeping in the silence. She wanted to console herself; That’s when she realized it was time to let go of her twisted memory and the pain she had been scared of. “Don’t be afraid.” Evelyn whispered to herself. “You’re…… not alone.”

Although there was nothing she could change about her death in the past yet, she was still able to remedy something.

“Stop crying, and listen to his voice.”

Perhaps, Evelyn returned to save herself from the pain of her tragic past.

“And open your eyes…… He’s looking for you.”

If she could change the last moment of her life, she would, for both of them. Even if it was meaningless, she definitely wanted to.

“Fabian, he’s there.”

Slowly, the woman who was soaked in tears lifted her head. Little by little, transparently, the outside world began to show itself to her. Evelyn saw the very same thing as if she opened her own eyes. She saw Fabian’s dark eyes, which were overflowing with heartbreaking grief.

[‘Evelyn, I’m here. Here…… I’m here, please don’t leave me.’]

Fabian cried as he clenched her dying hand. Evelyn’s soul, which was previously divided into two, had fused into a single being in his sight.

“Fa……bian.”

The time magic that sent her back in time worked perfectly as she had hoped. When Evelyn’s soul opened her eyes, she was already in the body of her previous life.

“Evelyn, are you awake? Are you able to see me? I’m right here….”

Evelyn’s blue eyes hurt as she peered at the face of her husband, someone she had once despised.

She wanted to tell him a lot of things that she couldn’t talk about. Even though she was in extreme pain and was unable to bear it. Just as her time was up, Evelyn had one final breath to utter one word.

[‘There are so many things I want to say…….’]

They had plenty of time to spend together until they were 30. But they wasted a lot of precious time without ever conveying any meaningful words to each other.

It was not someone’s fault. It should not be used as an excuse to justify awkwardness and difficulty being honest. It’s just, all this time, they failed to fully appreciate the value of their time together.

“Evelyn, I can’t live without you.”

Fabian’s eyes were filled with nothing but true sadness. There seemed to be the same regrets in his heart as those of her. Regrets that led him into the darkness, where his rationality was swallowed in the depths of the abyss. It was an awfully momentary sacrifice before his blood-soaked insanity spread across the continent.

“Fa…bian.”

“Yes, I’m listening….”

Evelyn had no idea what to say if she could pick one word to tell. And though she knew that the past would not change, she could not keep herself from desiring what she genuinely wished.

“Evelyn?”

[‘Thank you, and I’m sorry for misunderstanding and always hated you one-sidedly. Actually, I love you too.’]

[Really, I didn’t want to break up. Maybe I’ll miss you forever.]

“Please… Forget me….”

Evelyn had already left her heart to Fabian in another world. So she gave her last breath to another ‘him,’ who would be all alone.

Only then did her regret-laden chains that had been binding her heart wholly loosened up and disappeared without a trace. Yet, in her heart, there was something that felt very empty and sad.

Then, Evelyn’s breathing came to a full halt.

And now, once again, they had separated for the umpteenth time.

***

There’s no darkness after her death, but instead, Evelyn saw an outpouring of light. And her fear of pain and death was starting to fade.

“Poor woman.”

Evelyn was aware of the owner of the voice. “You’re here, David…..”

The man with purple-iris eyes didn’t conceal his shocked expression. “No way … I’ve already used the time magic …… how could this be? Who are you?” After a moment of speechlessness, David regained his composure and was able to speak again.

“I’m another Evelyn who existed in a world that was twisted by the time. I made some deal with you back then and came back.”

“Time magic cannot be used repeatedly, even if it is used, the perfection will….wait, no…..”

In David’s eyes, there was a sense of confidence. Perhaps, something was displaced and couldn’t return to its original place. Meaning that a particular circumstance occurred where everything appeared to be falling apart.

“Do you mean, the end of what I am trying to do is not right?”

“I don’t know about that. But your magic didn’t really succeed. That’s why I’m here.”

David didn’t know that much about the human mind. Evelyn was still so resentful of him because he ended her relationship, so she didn’t want to see him again. He lacked the mental ability to grasp what it felt like to be in love.

“I never thought my presupposition would come true.”

“It’s you who sent me back but you’re not sure yourself ….”

“So what should I do for you then? Are our ‘purposes’ still the same?” David had a quick understanding of the situation.

He had it easy, just like a piece of cake for him. The way he thought and how he dealt were all just the same as he did in the past.

It was the reason behind him using time magic.

“Yes. To avert the extinction of the continent, which is Fabian’s only escape because of my death.”

“Then what you want me to do, or what I’m supposed to do…….?”

“Same.” Evelyn said as her wish was still the same, even though she had lived at different times now. “But,…. don’t erase my memories, because there’s something I shouldn’t forget.”

“Back then, did I fail……because I erased your memory?”

“Maybe.”

‘And because, I don’t want to erase it either.’

Now it was David, however, who was confused by Evelyn’s request, starting to wonder what had gotten into her.

“Listen. You can’t turn back the time before Fabian and I met.”

“I expect there would be some error, but…… .”

“Send me to a time when I was 20, a few years after I married him.”

“Can you erase your relationship with him?”

“No, I don’t want to erase it.”

Even though it tormented her, Evelyn wanted to keep her relationship with Fabian, however painful it might have been, for the rest of her life.

“Just send me back.”

“What will happen then?”

“I… I will ask His Majesty for a divorce, and he will accept it.”

“That’s all?”

Evelyn nodded. At the time, they were both in their young. Their thought about marriage was too simplistic, so they were likely to end the relationship with no trouble.

“After that …… I will hide my presence. Then, His Majesty will soon forget about me and live a different life. He’s a cold man who can barely open his heart …He will stay as steady as a rock even if he loses something precious.”

Even so, whenever she thought of the life he would spend all alone, Evelyn felt pain in her heart.

“You said it was a deal. What deal did you make with me in another world?”

“Something more precious than my life.”

David’s eyes began to shake, but he quickly held his ground. It wasn’t just a coincidence that they both had their own purposes.

The magic of time. He already did it once. Another him had cast the magic spell at different times.

“If this is also fate… I have no choice but to follow.”

David followed the tide of flow, as Evelyn had expected, and he granted her wish.

The only way to move forward was to return to the beginning.