I’ll Quit as The Empress

Evelyn stopped unwittingly, trying to hold Fabian’s hand.

Just as the past that couldn’t be erased, she grabbed the hand that once lived as her husband. Although she said clearly just a moment ago that the relationship between them was already over.

“Wait, is it all right to walk together for a while?” Fabian asked suddenly. He pulled his hands back, which hadn’t had a chance to touch her yet.

Evelyn hesitated for a moment, then nodded. As Fabian said, it seemed to be all right.

“Would you like to see the garden…?”

Fabian nodded at Evelyn’s words. Evelyn got up first and walked away, keeping her distance from him. Fabian’s footsteps were far wider, and he easily caught up with her.

As the wind blew, Evelyn felt Fabian’s body scent, and she kept rushing her steps.

“This is a walk, so no need to rush.” Fabian said softly. Evelyn didn’t notice that a man was looking at them, gloomily on their way to the garden.

Fabian was different, but Fabian and Liam had a similar mindset, in away. The prediction Liam was going to hover around here was exactly right.

“It’s just the two of us, but nobody is here, so slow down.”

Fabian’s lip curled gently as he said it. Evelyn didn’t know if her eyes made contact with him because he was so far away, but she was fully aware of where Liam was.

“······Yeah.” Evelyn then turned around the corner without seeing Liam.

The garden of Felice Palace, which was full of summer greenery, welcomed both of them. The dense foliage was shading the promenade on which they walked created a shady atmosphere.

“It’s summer.” Fabian said so plainly. Evelyn then slowed her pace, staring back at him. Looking at his serious face, he seemed to have come up with some topic in his mind.

“Yeah, it’s summer.” without knowing it, Evelyn gave a bitter smile.

Fabian was a capable Emperor, but their private conversation was too serious. But it was apparent that he struggled to find a topic. And to start talks with the topic of the season was a great development for him.

“It’s the season when the trees start to get shady. It’s nice to feel the freshness,” When Evelyn said a word, Fabian’s face lightened up a little without her knowing.

“Is summer your favorite season?” asked Fabian.

“No, I like all seasons.”

“All,……. I thought you liked winter.”

Suddenly, Evelyn got a puzzled look on her face.

“You were born in late winter.”

She didn’t even think that her birthday would come out from her ex-husband’s mouth.

“At that time….. when you told me I didn’t know anything about you, I found it in my own way.”

Fabian’s proud face looked strange. In some ways, it was just a trivial matter, but once he paid attention, his real personality, who was detailed and sincere, came to her mind.

“But your birthday it’s the same week as my father’s memorial service, so the Imperial family celebrates your birthday in spring.”

Either way, how indifferent her husband was, in truth, Fabian never ignored her birthday. But because of that, he vaguely remembered Evelyn’s birthday in the spring. Since he recalled, spring flowers at the banquet always bloomed to celebrate her birthday.

“It is not … that I was mistaken, but I had my own excuse.” A leaf’s shadow moved over Fabian’s serious face. If he weren’t sorry, that would be a lie, but that was already in the past since Fabian had been responsible for this continent’s stability from an early age.

“Even now. I like those little things.”

“So, why are you telling me this? You don’t like wasting time.”

Fabian hesitated for a moment. He wanted to convey it, but he hadn’t been able to describe it in words. “It’s not a waste of time……Yeah, I honestly thought it was a waste at first.”

His dark eyes stared at Evelyn deeply, “As I searched and recorded what you asked me, the little things I remember about you, I couldn’t figure out what those little things meant.”

“Did you search and record it?” Evelyn’s face was stained with bewilderment.

“I did, but I burned it.”

“What?” Gradually, she couldn’t understand what Fabian meant.

“But it wasn’t erased from my memory. Those little things kept getting on my mind.”

He first asked Serus to find out about Evelyn, and then he started looking for it himself. It was only after he burned the paper that he knew what those things meant.

“The blue hydrangea.” Fabian was pointing his long fingers at the flowers in the garden.

“It also bloomed in the Empress ‘s palace garden. You never planted a flower but I heard that you liked the blue hydrangea.”

Men’s minds were so mysterious that they couldn’t go back once they were conscious of it. Fabian saw the flowers for the first time and realized how he thought of someone.

“You loved a butterfly-shaped pie. I was told you always used the tea sets brought from the Felice Kingdom when drinking tea, but I learned you’ve spent all your time studying and practicing the imperial court etiquette.”

It was a story that even Evelyn had forgotten.

“You looked after me when you didn’t do your job as an Empress. What kind of day I had, what I liked and disliked.”

There were days like that. Somehow he wanted to find the meaning of marriage.

“Now, everything is meaningless.”

“I know that much.” Fabian nodded, “But remembering it… It was not meaningless to think of you when I looked at the flowers.”

Without knowing it, Evelyn looked into Fabian’s eyes. Fabian, in front of her now, was clumsy and calmly confessing what he felt.

“So I understand, no matter how trivial it may be, remembering it for someone makes it special. That alone means something.”

His low voice still sounded heavy, but his eyes were a little different. The eyes of a man, not the Emperor’s eyes that Evelyn remembered, were looking for an answer.

“Is the answer I found … correct?” Fabian said hesitantly. He also bit his burning lips and looked at Evelyn as if he was wrong. “What I wanted to tell you wasn’t the trivial things, but the mind to remember them, I….”

“Please stop it.” Evelyn interrupted Fabian in a soft voice.

“Am I wrong?” Fabian’s voice sounded bitter as if he was discouraged.

“Your Majesty is always right.”

“That’s as an Emperor. Now I’m asking as a man who was your husband.”

Fabian always spoke in an indifferent and stiff tone. It was his lifelong habit. And it wasn’t that different now. However, Evelyn was able to feel a slight difference. How difficult it was for Fabian to say that.

“It’s not wrong.”

“Then…?”

Evelyn smiled faintly. Fabian’s eyes, which were about to shine, stopped.

“It wasn’t wrong, but it’s too late.”

Evelyn’s smile was as beautiful as her beauty. Fabian, who was seeing it, seemed to have a heavy stone landing on his chest. For the first time in his life, he felt helpless.

“Your Majesty, please don’t worry about me anymore.” Her soft and gentle voice was cruelly the same as his memories.

“I’m trying to correct my mistake.”

“No, you don’t have to do that anymore.”

Fabian was briefly silenced by Evelyn’s determined smile. Evelyn stopped walking and stood in front of the fountain in the garden. Her white, slender finger held a petal of a blue hydrangea.

“Whatever it is, if you realize it’s wrong, you can fix it.” said Fabian.

He was Right. It could have been if it was a public service. But Instead of answering, Evelyn put the petals down on the fountain. A delicate, blue petal flowed down the stream.

“Your Majesty.”

The petals were floating over the clear water.

“Our relationship seems to just follow the flowing water.”

Along a stream of water across the garden, far…..farther away.

“No one can’t reverse the flow, no matter how small a stream of water is.”

Even Fabian’s eyes could see the petals that had gone away.

“I can grab it with my hands, I can reverse the flow without turning it back.”

Evelyn kept a faint smile at Fabian’s still confident attitude.

“Then what happens? I can hold it in your hand wherever the water flows.” asked Fabian.

“Yes, you could….”

Surprisingly, Evelyn answered gently. But Fabian didn’t feel relieved. Just like the flowing petals, Evelyn right in front of him looked faint. She was in front of his eyes, but he couldn’t reach her.

“But you didn’t.”

Fabian’s face hardened when Evelyn caught the petals before his eyes. He could, but he didn’t. And it was too late when he talked about it.

“You didn’t catch it when it was in front of your eyes, you let it float along the flowing water.”

The regret was also late. Evelyn said that.

“Don’t look back and think about it. You don’t have to push yourself to find an answer.”

“I’m trying to find it because I want to.”

“No, don’t want it.” Evelyn’s blue eyes were as clear and calm as water.

“Like the water flows, like the seasons go, like the wind blows…..”

Only

There was no shadow of regret anywhere in that beautiful trail. That drove Fabian’s remaining regrets even more crazy.

“Evelyn, I…..” Now the ugly feelings, like regret and longing, belonged to Fabian.

“Please let it go like that.”

Just then did the late regret and anguish choke Fabian’s heart. The remorse had his chest tied like a chain.

“Like I did….”

The wind blew again. He couldn’t feel any regrets from Evelyn’s easy-going smile.

A strong summer breeze rammed through the hole in Fabian’s chest.