Chapter 116: You Want Tummy Rubs...?
...
"Such a thing is really possible?"
[Ding! Of course not, you f*cking dumba*s!]
"..."
Silence was all that stood between Lucifer strangling the system to death or jumping off a very high place.
In the end, he ignored the system and walked over to the corpse of the giant Python Nightmare Monster. Extracting its ten-meter-large core and absorbing its cultivation essence, he watched as his cultivation advanced by quite a bit.
{[Middle Golden Core (Early)]}
{[Middle Golden Core (Middle)]}
Though it was nothing too extraordinary, it was just enough to take his Battle Power into: {[Early Void Refinement Realm (Early)]}.
For Lucifer, that was a pretty decent haul for killing an overgrown garden snake.
"Well, now that the sneeak is dead, I figure it's about time that I make my way even deeper into this totally safe, super dark forest..."
Turning his head to the left and looking at the willowy trees whisking left to right, Lucifer found the eerie sounds they made not ominous at all...
"This looks like an area change, and I may or may not be about to encounter a secret boss... But ehh, what's the point of living if you aren't actually living!"
Strolling into the dark and scary forest without a care in the world, Lucifer walked past a wide array of Nightmare Monsters, all of whom had been waiting for a very long time for their snacks...
Of course, every single Nightmare Monster that thought they found a free lunch ended up becoming the lunch themselves...
But while they were alive, they put up really good struggles!
Well, not really, but yeah...
Lucifer entered the darker depths of the forest with 5 million or so Super Clone Essence. By the time he encountered his first Middle Void Refinement Realm Nightmare Monster, he already had 40 Million Super Clone Essence.
After using up half of it to summon 2 Void Refinement Realm Clones, Lucifer was left with a meager 20 Million Super Clone Essence...
But with him and his clones making up a force of 3 Early Void Refinement Realm powerhouses, he was far more confident in his persistent advance through the spooky forests. In fact, Lucifer was so confident that he gave up humanity and returned to monke.
By stripping down to his bare bottom in order to taunt the Nightmare Monsters, he was able to have even the scaredy cat monsters erase the idea of running away.
After all, none of them were willing to back down when presented with a 'large' competitor!
Call it pride or foolishness, but when faced with a divine dragon, all of existence would begin to strut their stuff...
This led to insanely high loot rates for Lucifer. Moreover, it also led to a rapidly increasing number of female monsters coming after him...
He wasn't quite sure what the hell they wanted with him, but he wasn't about to lay around and find out. So, with utter mercilessness, he struck down all the horny bi*ches and continued to make his way toward the deeper depths of the forest filled to the brim with monsters.
Lucifer had no clue what Li Yan, Xue Lan, and Shun Wen were doing at the moment. But if his intuitive speculations were correct, they were probs bonding!
Well, in a way, he was right. But the type of 'bonding' they were doing was far more physical and violent. No, it wasn't the pervy kind. Rather, Lucifer's new home was being torn between the fierce cat claws of three extremely dangerous and extremely deranged 'cats'.
There would definitely need to be some renovations when he returned-
"Wait, why would I need to return?? I have abandoned my humanity and become monke. If I were to play the part to perfection, then I need to take a grand and noble quest to find the milk!"
Throwing his fist into the air like a truly virtuous man, Lucifer was about to embark on the greatest quest of his entire life!
It was one that many before him had embarked on, and it was one that he too had to tread-!
"Umu?"
Stopping his thoughts, Lucifer noticed something white out of the corner of his eye and immediately felt that something was amiss.
Putting aside the matter of setting out for the greatest of causes, he approached the white spot in between a few bushes. Sticking out like a sore thumb, Lucifer really had 'no choice' but to see what was popping. It was his moral obligation as a Loot Goblin!
Without further nonsense, he walked up to the white spot, and the first thing he saw was...
"A white floofers...? They really have a white floofer all alone in a forest of terrifying creatures!? Who could be so cruel!?"
Lucifer was that cruel.
"Anyway, I was looking for a mighty steed, and this... whatever it is fits the bill!"
Observing the white floofers, he saw its two, small spiraling golden horns and instantly determined this floofer to be a high-breed steed.
White as the whitest blankets of freshly laid snow, big round eyes, and around the size of a large puppy breed -- this was just the floofer that Lucifer had been searching for!
But seeing as it was unconscious, he didn't want to seem like an incorrigible fiend and just up and snatch it like a Japanese protagonist would. Instead, he walked to the floofer and tapped on its white, floppy ears.
"Yo, floofer, eggs and bacy, it's time for you to waky!"
Even though Lucifer used the secret chant and everything, it didn't seem like the sleepy floofer was ready to wake up. Still, he wasn't yet ready to give up, so he tried all the 'special' chants that he could think of.
After a few minutes of getting nowhere in his unparalleled floofer whispering techniques, Lucifer realized that his clones would soon be unable to hold back all the Nightmare Monsters. Therefore, there was really only one thing that he could do to prevent the floofer and himself from becoming the breakfast of some random monster...
FWIP!
Like a common hypocrite, Lucifer snatched up the floofer and ran in the opposite direction of the Nightmare Monster Wave that had built up in that part of the forest!
"Esceeetch!!!"
"Roaarrrrgghh!!!'
Hearing numerous hair-tingling monster sounds echo out from behind him, Lucifer sped up his retreat!
Of course, he wasn't one to miss out on any loot, so he let his clones fight the monsters to the death and come out with like a 50/50 chance of survival.
"Well, more like 99/1 chance of survival, but do the specifics really matter...?"
Leaping over tree canopies like a jumping monkey, Lucifer spawned in tens of thousands of clones with every step he took. Using them as meat shields and whatnot, he eventually obtained the leeway necessary to hide out in a secure tree hole.
Dubbing this tree hole 'Lonely Virgin Mary', Lucifer then relaxed against one of the hole's walls. After which, he ignored the ominous howls and screeching from outside, putting all his focus on the wolf-like floofer curled up in his arms.
Now deciding to wake up, the bright, golden eyes of the floofer found themselves staring right into the swirling crimson pools in Lucifer's eyesockets.
"Sup, little floofer! Don't worry, I am not here to eat you; I simply wish to know if it's okay to floof you?"
Lucifer's gentlemanly spirit caused the white floofer to tilt its head in confusion. It wasn't exactly shocked over the stranger's presence, but it also wasn't completely clear on where it was or who he was.
Looking at the confused floofer, Lucifer said, "My name is Lucifer, floofer. And I also just so happen to be one of the most noble beings in existence!"
Becoming even more puzzled, the white floofer tilted its head left and right, trying its best to analyze the existence of this weird bipedal creature.
"Woof...?"
"Yeah, woof, woof! Lucifer!"
Seemingly misinterpreting the sound the floofer made, Lucifer threw up his thumbs and showed a wide, toothy grin.
"Woof..."
Giving up on pondering the unusual mannerisms of the weird monkey man, the floofer bent its ears down and stuck out its paw.
"Oh? You wish to shake hands with me, now do ya?"
Sticking out his hand, Lucifer clasped onto the small paw of the floofer. However, completely out of his expectations, this brief contact resulted in a bright flash of goldish white light within the tree hole!
"What the hell!? Is this some sort of anime level floofer moment!? Are we about to become companions of the highest degree and traverse the seas in order to become the pirate king-"
"Woof..." Interrupting Lucifer's main character moment with a low growl, the floofer stopped the bright flash of light. Taking its paw away from the hands of the human, it woofed once more.
"???"
Unlike the previous time that he heard the floofer woof, Lucifer could almost tell what the floofer was thinking. In fact, he could most definitely understand what it was trying to convey!
"You want tummy rubs...?"
...