Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer?

Chapter 129: That’s Enough (4)

Should I kill him, or should I not? I pondered for a bit while watching him squirm.

According to my character setting, killing him would be the right thing to do, but that failed skill activation due to an error made me pause.

【P-Please spare me…】

[Rage] had indeed been canceled due to an error. That confirmed my hypothesis that the trigger for [Rage] was my genuine anger, and by appropriately venting my anger without suppressing it, I could still express anger without the skill activating.

Of course, the error appearing was a slight miscalculation on my part, but that was a problem for another time.

What bothered me now was that the skill activation was ‘canceled due to the error’.

It wasn’t like the skill didn’t activate; it activated but got canceled due to an error.

This naturally raised some questions: did the skill really get canceled, or was it not visible but still active?

So, would killing this guy benefit me? Looking back, the Madness Gauge seemed to rise significantly every time I killed someone. Wouldn’t killing him fill the Madness Gauge?

At that moment, someone came running. It was Akata.

【L-Let me kill him.】

In her hands was a knife with an ominous glint. I didn't know where she’d gotten it from.

The clear intent to kill and rage flowed from the girl's eyes down her cheeks.

【I know my parents were wrong. I also know that you aren't to blame! But him, that bastard, Atarte…!】

I didn't know what exactly she was saying, but I had a hunch. Would it be strange to put it like that?

【You little…!】

At that moment, Atarte began to struggle. Seeing him react so desperately to the girl's words, my desire to kill him waned considerably.

“Damn it, kill me! Kill me with your own hands!”

Especially when he said stuff like that.

I bit my lip slightly. Should I let the girl kill Atarte, or should I kill him first to protect her?

But would killing him really protect this child?

However, as an adult, could I really just stand by and let her kill someone…?

“What are you hesitating for?”

At that moment, Berserk spoke up, still looking pretty sullen about losing her prey to me.

“If you're going to let her do it, do it quickly. Revenge changes nothing, but if she doesn't get her revenge now, she'll hold on to this grudge forever.”

Despite her whining about losing her target, her words were surprisingly quite helpful.

After a bit more thought, I finally lifted my foot off Atarte's chest. Akata's face instantly lit up, while Atarte's twisted in despair.

“You…!”

Stab!

My sword's blade bore right into his heart. ‘Urgh!’ His dying scream quickly dissipated into the air.

【…Why, why?】

“There is no salvation at the end of revenge.”

A person who’d thrown away their own life for the sake of vengeance had no right to deny another’s desire for it.

But still, I didn't want to see this child taking a life.

【Why…】

“So don't ruin yourself by killing something that can’t even be described as a person anymore.”

The madness that came with killing to settle a grudge wasn't something a child should bear.

“Live your life.”

Was this the right choice? Who knows. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it would have been better for the child to exact her revenge.

Given the times, even if I didn’t kill this man, that girl might still end up with blood on her hands one day.

But still.

Even so.

I didn’t want her to carry the burden of having killed someone in her childhood. Even if she remembered me as the bastard who took away her chance at revenge, at least her young hands would remain free of blood for now.

“You're still a person.”

Killing someone, even for the sake of justice, meant sacrificing a piece of one's humanity.

【Why…?! Why did you stop me from taking revenge?!】

“If the resentment and hatred left behind are too much to bear.”

【Why, why did you take away the only thing I could do?!】

“Pass it on to me.”

【WHY?!】

“I will bear it all.”

I passed by Deb and Berserk, who were holding back Akata while comforting a child—the one Atarte had taken.

I considered confronting the Jatav about the curse, but other people were already handling that. Since it was a priest brought along by the Mountain Lord, communication might not be so easy.

So, naturally, I headed toward White Wind.

“We’ll need to pinpoint the exact origins of this curse.”

“Of course, of course. Don’t worry. If anyone’s connected with this, no one will be able to protect them in the Great Forest. And when we catch them, we’ll make sure to hand them over to you.”

As for where I would go next, hmm, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t have a particular destination in mind.

But that wasn’t a big issue.

That’s how it always was.

* * *

The Archmage sighed in relief while looking at the young thief and fighter who’d successfully carried out his request.

Of course, right after that, the Demon Knight killed the Vigabol chief, and in the process, Akata cried out in front of everyone for a chance to kill him, but it wasn’t a big problem.

Strictly speaking, it was a serious issue, but since the Mountain Lord had commanded them to let it pass for now, it wasn’t an immediate concern. That was enough.

Given time and the opportunity to explain, he was confident everything would be clarified. Although the others’ treatment of Akata, who’d tried to kill the Chief in front of everyone, remained unclear.

“Wow, what in the world is going on?!”

At that moment, White Wind approached him slowly. Despite the tangled mess of a situation, he remained remarkably calm.

“I had a feeling something was off, so I followed the chief, and things indeed took a strange turn.”

“I agree.”

The Vigabol and Jatav Tribes had clashed in an all-out war. The Vigabol chief had abandoned his last shred of morality, and the Jatav seemed to have made some deal with the Demons to use their artifacts. Amid the chaos, the Mountain Lord intervened, and the Serhan chief was elected warchief.

It wasn’t every day one would come across such a mess of a situation.

“But it ended well, at least.”

Despite all the confusion and chaos, the outcome wasn’t bad.

With the Mountain Lord’s appearance, the conflict between the two tribes had ceased entirely. There wasn’t any resistance or rebellion. All was calm.

Even more surprising, they complied with this one-sided judgment. At the priest’s command to prove their faith, everyone had laid down their weapons and cooperated with all interrogations.

Of course, there was some commotion within the Vigabol tribe since their chief had died.

However, that commotion was due to their need to appoint a new leader after the death of the one with the highest authority.

Some called for Akata’s punishment for attempting to kill their chief, and some questioned whether the deceased chief had indeed risked the children’s lives.

Had the Mountain Lord not told them to stop their fussing and follow the orders of the warchief—the Serhan chief—they would have continued bickering until who knows when.

The Serhan chief, who’d suddenly found himself having to act as the warchief, was sweating profusely.

“Thank goodness the parents managed to get their children back safely. But what was all that about, the thing with the kid on that guy’s shoulders?”

Just then, the person who’d snatched the kid away from Atarte returned. He’d successfully reunited the kid with his parents and was now empty-handed.

“Ah… It was a hostage situation. He demanded our involvement in this conflict, or else he would kill all the children.”

“Oh.”

“…What?”

“Didn’t you notice that the Demon Knight only intervened after the child was removed?”

“No, well, I was wondering why Mister Knight hadn’t acted sooner. So, it was because of that??”

For reference, the Inquisitor was treating the wounded as always, and Berserk was roaming around, looking for some fights with the Mountain Lord’s permission. Anyone who dared resist might find themselves with several broken limbs, courtesy of Berserk.

“Then that over there was because of said hostage situation?”

At that moment, White Wind pointed to a spot in the dense forest where a circular area had been completely cleared out. The trees there were significantly shorter, making it very clear that this hadn’t been a natural occurrence.

“There was an immense surge of Arcane Power earlier. That was the Demon Knight’s doing, right?”

“…Correct. When we were asked to join the fight, the Demon Knight blasted away part of the forest as a threat. He warned the chief that if the children were harmed, he would also be killed. Thanks to that, we avoided any further unnecessary conflict.”

“A wise choice.”

“…Indeed.”

Although his method was a little rough, the Archmage believed the Demon Knight had chosen the best path. Instead of becoming either tribe’s enemy, he managed to save everyone.

However…

『“Kill them! I have already murdered my own blood. What difference would the blood of these children make?!”』

He remembered what that person had said in his rage, the veins in his neck bulging. Despite fearing he could potentially go on a rampage again, the Archmage couldn’t ignore the palpable sorrow beneath that anger.

『You’re still a person.』

It was solely the weight of his own sins. The burden that made it impossible for him to ever forgive himself.

A burden so heavy that it made even an outsider like him feel solemn, a weight too heavy for any one person to bear.

“Hmm. At least he didn’t go on a rampage!”

Gradually, he started wondering how that man could still stand up so straight. Was his desire for death truly driven by self-hatred alone?

“Still, we should put the seal on him just in case, right?”

Even those seeking their own destruction needed the strength to run to the cliff's edge.

Was he really in any state to take even a single step forward?

“…I suppose so.”

The Archmage accepted the seal White Wind handed him. Reason dictated that he needed to put it in place immediately, yet his emotions made him hesitate at the thought.

Technically, the Demon Knight was currently in a stimulated state where he could get provoked by any possible thing, so putting it on him immediately was the correct course of action.

“…Erm, is it really okay? Giving it to him now?”

“Then when? Honestly, I’m surprised he’s held on this long. Wouldn’t this be for the better for the Demon Knight, too? With the seal, he wouldn’t need to suppress his anger anymore!”

“True… However…”

He caressed the seal. The smooth metal felt cold, much like how the world must feel to the Demon Knight.

“…Giving it to him now might provoke him even more. He wouldn’t be too happy being treated like a ticking time bomb, would he?”

“Then what?”

“I have a favor to ask of you. Keep an eye on him for now. If it seems he’s doing better… or if he becomes dangerously unstable, put the seal on him or call the Inquisitor.”

“…I don’t know much about Arcane Power, so I might miss the right timing.”

“I trust your judgment.”

“…Understood.”

In the end, he found a compromise between his reason and emotions. This was the best choice he could come up with under these circumstances.

“And White Wind, you… you need to accompany me to meet the Mountain King and that priest. We need to find out where the Jatav got that curse jar from.”

“Of course, of course. I’ve already put the recovery team to work. We helped them for free, so they can’t just ignore us.”

“…Good. Well done.”

“Do you think their Arcane power-devouring snakes will come up while the Jatav get punished? If so, I’d like the authority to investigate that matter more. I also want to speak with the Mountain Lord.”

“I’ll ask about the former. As for the latter, no.”

The Archmage began listing all the tasks he had to take care of. His emotions were a tangled mess, yet he still had a lot of work left to do.

* * *

* * *

Worried the Madness Gauge might suddenly fill up and trigger the berserk debuff, I distanced myself from the village as much as possible.

Eventually, I found myself at the waterfall—the place I’d discovered on my way from the Serhan to the Vigabol—and…

Whooooosh!

I sat down on the same rock I’d been seated on before. It almost felt like that soft moss-covered rock welcomed me.

There were fewer trees around this place, allowing some sunlight to filter through. It wasn’t intense enough to hurt my eyes, but I could feel its presence, gently warming me and making me feel relaxed and drowsy.

The surrounding temperature didn’t really affect my body, so I didn’t feel hot, which was nice. My mood also seemed to improve slightly.

「HP: 2,457 / 2,457

MP: 2,941 / 2,941

Fatigue: 17

Satiety: 84」

However, now wasn’t the time to just sit idly. I debated whether I should drain some of my HP in case of an emergency.

I knew the Madness Gauge would increase whenever I killed someone, but I didn’t know the exact criteria for it to rise.

In other words, I wasn’t sure whether it would increase even if I stood still.

And if it’s the former and not the latter… Well. That would be a bit problematic.

I recalled when I was tightly restrained and the sight of the pulverized castle that served as evidence for my actions.

If something like that were to happen again… Yeah, I’d probably lose my head for real this time. I absolutely had to avoid that.

“Ah, the seal…”

It sure would have been nice if I had one right now.

Since I didn’t, I had to find other ways. Deciding I would carry multiple spare seals in the future, not just one, I took out a dagger.

I would decrease my HP by exactly two-thirds, no more, no less. I briefly remembered that one game where I had to intentionally keep my character in a near-death state and constantly poisoned to master healing skills.

I almost went crazy with the need to carefully maintain that state. Ah, memories.

“Uwaaaaah!! Mister, what are you doing?!”

Thud!

It seemed like I’d gotten lost in my memories for a moment.

I felt like a car hit me.

Splash!

I was sitting on a rock when someone approached me from behind—I was about to dodge but stopped when I heard the voice—and collided with me.

Naturally, since I had been sitting on a rock, that collision made me fall off. The rock was right in front of the waterfall.

Deb and I both ended up submerged in water.

“Glub, glub, glub!”

Thankfully, we landed in the pool right below the waterfall, so the current didn’t sweep us away. It was also quite lucky that the water only reached my chest.

“…Do you want to die?”

But regardless of that, this wasn’t at all fortunate for my character!

I shook the water off my head and turned around. Deb, whose fur began standing on end like a startled cat’s as soon as he touched the water, let out an audible shriek and stiffened.

“M-Mister, self-harm is bad…”

Wait, when did I ever want to do something so outrageous?

Before I could think any further, my thoughts came to a screeching halt. From my gamer perspective, all I wanted was to lower my HP, but from another person’s perspective, this was no different from self-harm.

Ah.

“Y-You should just use the seal instead. Why are you committing self-harm…”

Erm, this was a misunderstanding. Well, not exactly, but it was. I was trying to lower my HP just in case I went on a rampage, not because of something like self-hatred. Anyway, it wasn’t what you were thinking!

I bit my lip, unable to explain the complex and profound reasons for my actions.

I hadn’t planned on it, but my character’s low self-worth setting somehow intensified. This was troublesome.

“Hah!”

At that moment, Deb, who had been watching me anxiously, lunged forward to snatch away my dagger. I reflexively pulled the hand holding it behind me.

You idiot, what if you end up grabbing it by the blade! You’ll cut your hand!

“Get lost…!”

“I will, if you give me the dagger!”

I won’t! I definitely won’t!

I pushed away Deb’s head while keeping the hand holding the dagger behind me.

Squashed up against my hand, Deb flailed his arms, but unfortunately for him, my character was almost ten cm taller. That meant my arms were longer, as well.

So, he’d never be able to reach it. Go away, you thief!

“Damn it. Mister, why are your arms so long?!”

“I told you to get lost…!”

You’re going to catch a cold, you idiot! Get out of the water!!