Kaleidoscope of Death

Chapter 106: Idle Matters

Tan Zaozaos funeral came seven days after the award ceremony.

The weather was deep into summer. The funeral was held in a lush green pine forest, with cicadas calling on the tree branchesthey just made the quiet all the more prominent. Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu were in formal dress, standing at the back of the crowd.

This funeral was a grand event. Here were Tan Zaozaos coworkers, Tan Zaozaos close friends, even some of her fans. The media was sequestered outside the graveyard, but some still tried to muddle their way in, wanting firsthand news on the funeral.

Lin Qiushi was very quiet. He watched Tan Zaozaos ashes get lowered into the burial plot, and sealed in with cement. On the gravestone was a picture of her smiling. Red lips, white teeth, brilliantly grinning.

Time froze for her at her most beautiful moment.

It all seemed so unreal. Lin Qiushi even felt like this was some sort of nasty prank, and Tan Zaozao was still going to pop around to their house with her mess of fruits, and sprawl out on the couch to shoot the shit with Cheng Qianli.

Cheng Qianli also attended the funeral. He stood with Cheng Yixie. The two were on the other side of the crowd, and their expressions seemed lonely. Every time they watched someone die inside the doors, those outside couldnt help a sense of sad dread for themselves. Because perhaps the next to lie down in that ice-cold coffin was themselves.

Once the funeral was over, Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu returned to the mansion.

For a while now, the atmosphere inside the mansion had felt repressed. Nearly every channel on television was broadcasting Tan Zaozaos funeral.

Because stars who died in accidents were numerous, but dying during an awards ceremony, in front of all her fans? That was only Tan Zaozao.

And so it all compounded. Those whod never known Tan Zaozao became her fans, and publishers took the opportunity to announce a relaunch of all of Tan Zaozaos early films on BluRay Funereal became celebratory.

Lin Qiushi was witness to these celebrations.

He sat on the sofa, watching Tan Zaozaos friends get interviewed, get questioned. They talked of all the times they had with Tan Zaozao, and no matter what their true thoughts were underneath, at least in this moment, they were Tan Zaozaos very best friendsthough they hadnt the faintest idea how their very best friend died.

Cheng Qianli, phone in hand, changed the channel in aggravation. He said, why does it have to be like this.

Lin Qiushi petted his head.

Theyre the worst, Cheng Qianli said.

Lin Qiushi, yeah. Theyre the worst.

At dusk, guests came to the mansion.

Bai Ming and Zhang Yiqing knocked on the front door. It was Ruan Nanzhu who opened it.

Nanzhu, long time no see, Bai Ming greeted Ruan Nanzhu with a smile.

Ruan Nanzhu nodded, and stepped out of the doorway for the two to come in.

Lin Qiushi glanced over, and saw that Zhang Yiqing didnt look so good. He likely counted among Tan Zaozaos few true friends, or Tan Zaozao wouldnt have asked Ruan Nanzhu to take him through his door.

It was just that now, Tan Zaozao was gone.

There are some things I want to talk to you about, and I thought Id bring him along, Bai Ming said.

Come on. Ruan Nanzhu and Bai Ming headed upstairs for the study.

Zhang Yiqing came to sit down on the sofa beside Lin Qiushi. He seemed much thinner than hed been at the funeral, but his disposition was still sharp as ever, a mismatch for his surroundings.

Lin Qiushi didnt speak to him, just idly took bites of the snacks on the table.

Tan Zaozaos last door, was it you guys who went in with her? Zhang Yiqing suddenly asked after a long silence.

No, Lin Qiushi said. Obsidian doesnt take the sixth door. After saying this, he expected Zhang Yiqing to aggressively grill himbut Zhang Yiqing only lowered his gaze and uttered a low, oh.

So the atmosphere quieted down again.

By Lin Qiushis previous standards, he shouldve found some conversation topic to dispel the awkwardness. But the him right now didnt want to say anything, only to sit in silence. As for the awkwardness whatever.

Bai Ming and Ruan Nanzhu spoke for a very long time. Who knew what theyd talked about? In the end, Bai Ming came down from the study smiling, while Ruan Nanzhu maintained his typical impassivity.

I wont keep you for dinner, Ruan Nanzhu said.

Bai Ming nodded, grinning. Lets go, Yiqing.

Zhang Yiqing made a sound of agreement, got up from the sofa, and left with Bai Ming.

Lin Qiushi looked toward Ruan Nanzhu and asked, what did he come to you for?

To buy hints, Ruan Nanzhu said. Hes taking Zhang Yiqing door-training.

Lin Qiushi, Hed recalled something.

Ruan Nanzhu spoke lightly: actually, after that time, I contacted Tan Zaozao. She refused.

Lin Qiushi knew what Ruan Nanzhu meantafter that movie premiere, Tan Zaozao had begged Ruan Nanzhu to keep taking her through the doors. Ruan Nanzhu hadnt agreedhe wouldnt put his own and his members lives on the line like that. The sixth door on, there was a qualitative change, and any misstep could mean you died inside. He couldnt possibly bring along a weak teammate.

Tan Zaozao didnt like entering the doors. This was normal. Nobody liked entering the doors.

Ruan Nanzhu had asked Tan Zaozao afterwards. Shed had that last chance. There had still been a few months until her sixth door. If she would take the time to continue entering doors with Ruan Nanzhu, Ruan Nanzhu would agree to take her through her sixth door.

But Tan Zaozao had refused.

Lin Qiushi, why did she refuse?

Ruan Nanzhu, not everybodys got your bravery. She was normal.

Lin Qiushis smile was bitter.

For some people, entering the doors was harder to bear than death. He hadnt noticed that underneath Tan Zaozaos blooming smiles, there was a heart already festered with fear.

His friend was gone, but he still had to live his days.

After getting together, Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu didnt particularly try to hide it. The two openly began to hold hands, hug, do the things that lovers did.

They were all clever inside the mansion, and this clear change in atmosphere couldnt possibly go unnoticed. Yi Manman patted Lin Qiushis shoulder in admiration. Nice. You even managed to snag Ruan-ge.

Lin Qiushi laughed. Yeah, pretty good, arent I? I think so too.

Cheng Qianli was the last to figure it out, and he only figured it out after running into Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu kissing in the front yard one day.

The ambience had been too great that nightbright moon, gentle breeze. Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu were sitting and chatting in the yard, and as they chatted, the two naturally got closer together.

Cheng Qianli had just come home. The moment he walked into the yard he let out that iconic scream of histhe one pitched exactly like the screaming rubber chickens.

Fuck, what the fuck! Am I dreaming! Cheng Qianli was saying. Fucking fuck, why did I just see Ruan Nanzhu and Lin Qiushi kissing!!

Cheng Yixie, from next to him, what are you yelling about

But it was already too late. Both Ruan Nanzhu and Lin Qiushi were looking up and over.

Cheng Qianli, theyre looking at me!

Cheng Yixie, Who else were they supposed to look at, with you screaming like this?

Grinning, Lin Qiushi greeted Cheng Qianli. Cheng Qianli confirmed this indeed was not a dream, but still appeared flummoxed: O- oh, good evening Qiushi. What uh, are you two doing out here? Weathers nice isnt it

Cheng Yixie eyed Cheng Qianli; he kind of wanted to pry open the brain on this little brother of his, and check if it was all cotton inside. He apologized to Lin Qiushi, and hurriedly pulled Cheng Qianli away. While being dragged off, Cheng Qianli was still saying, all wronged, ge, cant you pull lighter. His wrist was all red.

Cheng Yixie scoffed. You didnt see your Ruan-ges expression?

Cheng Qianli,

Cheng Yixie, if I pulled you away any later, Ruan-ge mightve beaten you to death right there.

Cheng Qianli recalled that dark glare on Ruan Nanzhu, and thought his brother had a point.

Lin Qiushi watched the two go, thinking it was kind of funny. He said, how was Cheng Qianli raised to be like this anyways?

Its his brother spoiling him, isnt it, Ruan Nanzhu replied. Spoiled the problems right out into the open.

Lin Qiushi, being spoiled can lower the IQ?

Ruan Nanzhu, that parts actually all Cheng Qianli.

Lin Qiushi laughed. He thought Cheng Qianli was adorable. It was just that alongside the adoration, there was also a bit of worry. After all, inside a door, those things didnt take it easy on you just because you were cute.

Whens your eleventh door? Speaking of doors, Lin Qiushi suddenly remembered this matter.

Ruan Nanzhu peered at Lin Qiushi. Not anytime soon.

Lin Qiushi, whens not anytime soon?

Ruan Nanzhu, the year after next.

So it really wasnt anytime soon. But the time between the last two doors really was quite long. Suddenly: Thats right Im just remembering, if you always went for the latest option when going through the doors, does that let you live the longest?

After hearing Lin Qiushis question Ruan Nanzhu seemed a bit exasperated. Youre only thinking of this now?

Lin Qiushi huffed, I havent noticed before, have I.

No, Ruan Nanzhu said. For example, if you jump straight to the sixth door from your third, then the time until your seventh door starts its count from the third.

Oooh.

No wonder so many people wanted to skip doors then. If they succeeded, they basically got to prolong their life for quite a while, without having to worry about any more doors in between. It indeed was high risk, high reward.

Lin Qiushi really wanted to ask what Ruan Nanzhu encountered in his tenth door, but upon recalling how long Ruan Nanzhus depression lasted after coming out, felt it might not be quite right to do so.

If its possible, Id like to enter the tenth door again, Ruan Nanzhu suddenly spoke.

What? Lin Qiushi was a bit shocked. Why would you want to

Ruan Nanzhu watched Lin Qiushi in silence for a while, before saying, I got the hint to the eleventh door.

Lin Qiushi still didnt understand. Wasnt that a good thing? Why did Ruan Nanzhu still want to take the risk? Could it be that the hint was so difficult that Ruan Nanzhu didnt even want to risk trying?

The hint I got was very weird, Ruan Nanzhu said. So I want to see if it was a problem with my door, or if its a problem with the hint itself.

Okay, Lin Qiushi said. He gave it a bit more thought, and realized his own next door was the tenth. He asked, suspiciously, is there really a problem with it? Youre not just saying that to keep me company, are you?

Ruan Nanzhu, if thats what I was doing, you think I wouldnt take credit?

Indeed. Lin Qiushi laughed again: thats true enough.

Their ninth doors, Lin Qiushi and Cheng Yixie had passed together, which meant that their tenth doors ought to come around the same time. Lin Qiushis next door seemed like it would come around the end of next year. He asked, will Yixie be going in with us?

Ruan Nanzhu shook his head. No, hes not coming with.

Lin Qiushi was a bit shocked. Why

Ruan Nanzhu, hes bringing Qianli through the tenth door.

What? Lin Qiushi froze. He thought hed heard wrong. What did you say?

Hes bringing Qianli through the tenth door, Ruan Nanzhu repeated. Lin Qiushi heard it loud and clear this time. Hes skipping Qianli straight to the eleventh door.

Lin Qiushi, He thought about the foolish Cheng Qianli, and didnt know what to say at all.

Ive warned him, Ruan Nanzhu said. He wont listen. And I dont want to bother with this matter any longer.

Lin Qiushi finally remembered Ruan Nanzhu and Cheng Yixies fight. So itd been about this. He couldnt understand, however, why Cheng Yixie would make this sort of decision. The tenth door had taken the skin off even Ruan Nanzhus back; considering Cheng Qianlis capabilities, wouldnt that set them up for more bad than good?

He doesnt have very many options, Ruan Nanzhu said. Hes afraid of dying first, and leaving Cheng Qianli unprotected.

Lin Qiushis smile went bitter.

Before Li Dongyuans death, he didnt have a very concrete understanding of dying. Then it was Wu Qi, and then Tan Zaozaoincident followed incident, making him truly aware of death as a constant companion that could descend at any moment.

The gift of the doors was not unconditional; they could take back all they gave at any moment.

The dead were gone. The living must go on.

The aftershocks of Tan Zaozaos death began to die down, and life returned to calm.

Lin Qiushi found the time to visit his hometown. Hed wanted to go by himself at first, but Ruan Nanzhu insisted on accompanying him.

Lin Qiushi had wanted to refuse, but seeing Ruan Nanzhus determination, agreed in the end.

It had been five whole years since Lin Qiushi last visited home. The last time he went back was because his grandmother passed. After that, hed completely lost contact with his family.

Lin Qiushis parents were divorced. Theyd both gone on to make their own families afterwards, so Lin Qiushi became an extraneous person. Neither side sought to see him, and Lin Qiushi too rarely contacted them.

It was autumn when they visited Lin Qiushis hometown. Blazing summer had gradually cooled, and the streets were carpeted in yellow leaves. After leaving the airport, Lin Qiushi examined the unfamiliar surroundings, and sighed: its been such a long time since Ive been back. Ive completely forgotten what home looks like.

Ruan Nanzhu didnt reply, only looked at their surroundings.

Come on, lets go visit grandma first. Lin Qiushi had planned it out before they got here. Then well go see my mom He paused for a bit, then laughed, though I dont really remember her address.

Ruan Nanzhu peered at him. Want me to look for you?

Lin Qiushi, wow, you can find even that?

Ruan Nanzhu, with enough money, what cant you find?

Lin Qiushi, Im the one who brought you here, why are you looking up how to get there?

Ruan Nanzhu, who cares about that?

He said hed find it, so off he went, dialing a number on his phone and providing some information to whoevers on the other end. Lin Qiushi stood by, just watching. Though it was kind of embarrassing, he couldnt deny that Ruan Nanzhu was really, really good-looking. Without much expression, Ruan Nanzhu was still attractive. Even random passersby casually snuck a couple of extra glances.

As if they were peeking at some kind of famous star.

At this thought, Lin Qiushi laughed aloud.

What are you smiling about? Hanging up, Ruan Nanzhu just happened to see a teasing smile on Lin Qiushis face.

Nothing, Lin Qiushi said. Has anybody ever told you that youre good-looking? He reached out a hand, and tapped a fingertip against the upright bridge of Ruan Nanzhus nose. Really good-looking.

Ruan Nanzhu quirked an eyebrow. So? He leaned in close to Lin Qiushis face. Are you saying you like me for my face more?

Lin Qiushis survival instincts detected danger in those words, and he said, no No way. Am I such a shallow person? Of course its your soul I like!

Ruan Nanzhu, oh.

Lin Qiushi, Scared him to death, damn.

Not long after, Ruan Nanzhu was hearing back. Theyd found Lin Qiushis mothers address.

Lin Qiushi said, lets go.

Ruan Nanzhu nodded.

They drove to the address and knocked on the door. Minutes later, the door opened, revealing a middle-age woman. She looked at Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu with uncertainty in her eyes. You two are?

Lin Qiushi said, hi mom.

The woman startled. Then, after a moment, you're Qiushi?

Lin Qiushi nodded. Yeah. He explained, I came back to see grandma, and thought Id drop by.

Oh The woman said. Then come in. Have a seat. The way she looked at Lin Qiushi was completely unfamiliar, like shed utterly forgotten she still had a son like thislittle wonder. After his parents divorce, Lin Qiushi never lived with his mom again, and hadnt maintained any kind of relationship with them in the past years.

Ruan Nanzhu had long been curious how Lin Qiushis personality got to be the way it was. Now, having met his mother, a large part of that curiosity was finally sated.

Mama Lin politely poured them tea. From the doorway of the bedroom, a girl poked her head out, calling, mom, whos that?

This is your brother, Lin Qiushi, Mama Lin introduced a bit awkwardly. He came to see your mother.

The girl had at least heard of this brother with whom she shared a mother. Shed just never met him before. Oh I see.

Run along and study now, Mama Lin said. Its nearly midterms after all She tutted for a bit longer, before remembering she had guests, and hurriedly changing the topic.

Though they were mother and son, they behaved more politely toward each other than they would toward strangers.

After sitting for a while and finishing his tea, Lin Qiushi got up to leave, turning down Mama Lins invitation to lunch.

Ruan Nanzhu barely spoke the entire time. With his general aura and impassivity, Mama Lin had been too intimidated to speak with him.

After coming out, he finally asked, should we go see your father?

Lin Qiushi said, no need. There wasnt really grief in his expression, more exasperation. It seems I really dont need to worry about this place in the future. They were all doing fine for themselves; they had no need for the extraneous son.

Ruan Nanzhu reached out and took Lin Qiushis hand, softly scratching at his palm. Theres no helping it then

Lin Qiushi, hm?

Ruan Nanzhu, Ill do it. Ill be your daddy.

Lin Qiushi, Ruan Nanzhu, could you not say such dastardly things with that straight a face?

Seeing Lin Qiushis expression, a laugh came to Ruan Nanzhus eyes. How come youre so cute, huh?

Lin Qiushi thought you really are getting bad. You used to be so serious outside the doors, how come youre becoming like this now?

The day was getting dark at this point. The two found a roadside shop and ordered some food. Ruan Nanzhu was going to ban Lin Qiushi from drinking, but Lin Qiushi expressed that he was strong as an ox nownot only could he drink, but he could also drink Ruan Nanzhu under the fucking table.

Ruan Nanzhus lips twitched. You can drink so much?

Lin Qiushi could actually drink a pretty normal amount, but he was a man, alright? There was reputation at play here. So he stubbornly replied: Yeah. I can drink a lot.

Then bring it, Ruan Nanzhu said. Lets see who actually goes under first.

So he had the owner bring them a whole case of beers, and the two began to eat and drink.

Such moments were simply too lovely: the weather was perfect, the sun had just settled on the horizon line, and the wind was cool. If they looked, right above their heads hung a display of clouds scorched red. The chatter around them wasnt noisy, instead injected the scene with a sense of life.

Lin Qiushi recalled a piece of wisdom hed heard.

Between birth and death, what matter isnt idle?

At this, he couldnt help but grin, staring at Ruan Nanzhu.

Ruan Nanzhu didnt know the reason for the smile. He had just started to chew on a piece of fresh-grilled meatbut because the meat was lightly spiced, his lips had gone red. He looked delicious, and so Lin Qiushis smile grew as he called, Ruan Nanzhu ah.

Ruan Nanzhu glanced up, and hummed.

Lin Qiushi, do you know

Ruan Nanzhu lifted an eyebrow.

Lin Qiushi lowered his voice: how delicious you look right now?

Ruan Nanzhu set down the cup in his hand. He now knew that Lin Qiushis claim to be a good drinker was a lie, because he didnt believe there was any way that, when sober, Lin Qiushi dared to say a thing like that.

Authors Note:

Is it because there was a door in between the reality segments? I actually laid out a lot of emotional ground work in the last reality segment. /head rub (Lets take care of reality first, were going back in next chapter~)

• Chapter titles double meaning is sexy isnt it
• Shout out to Xiao Xingchen. No it wasnt specifically but. Yknow?