Life in Vain: Jobless Reincarnation

87 – Id – The Future Past



87 – Id – The Future Past

A familiar looking young man with brown hair and green eyes. Someone who looked a bit like Dad. Except, with an expression that I had never seen on him.

Despair. Complete and utter despair.

I didn't know why. All I could see was his face twisted in agony. And then I saw it.

*****'s corpse tied up in the corner of a lavish city. Her arm missing with a large cut on her face.

There was a crowd. People throwing stones at her along with other corpses.

-Why?

-I'm tired of it all. Why did this have to happen?

I heard a voice echo. A familiar voice that I didn't recognize.

The young man who looked a bit like Dad stood up and slowly walked forward. As he did, flames gathered, wreathing around him like they came straight from hell.

The crowd screamed. Knights ran forward to stop him.

And then the flames lashed out, turning everything into ash.

-LIV-

A flurry of scenes. The young man gradually grew older, engrossing himself in research. Unfamiliar faces and people walked in and out of his life.

I saw snippets of scenes.

Him standing in front of an automaton that looked like *****. Standing in front of a mass-produced army of sentient automatons.

Him furiously doing research and training...

-How can I get stronger? Should I train my magic?

-...Dammit. If I had been serious when I was younger, it wouldn't have ended like this.

-LIV-

The blur of scenes stopped.

A burnt down mansion. Black scorch marks in front of the door to a cellar. And inside, three corpses chopped to pieces.

I didn't recognize two of them. But the third.

A young woman who looked a lot like Mama Lily. *****.

-By the time I killed them, there was already no point. ...For what reason have I gained all this power? I'm powerless.

-It's because of Hitogami. I have to at least kill Hitogami.

My heart throbbed.

...Yeah. If it turned out like that, I'd do the same.

-LIV-

An old man stared out at a devastated wasteland. A tattered gray robe billowed behind him while his mismatched green eyes swept across the land.

His eyes sharpened.

There were still survivors. Some feeble figures picking themselves out from the rubble.

The old man raised his left hand. When he did, a distortion emerged over the wasteland. A dark void of light, bending space.

And then it erupted, leaving a dust cloud.

After that, the old man turned on his heel and walked away.

'...It's still not enough.'

There was no questioning the power of the spell. But it wasn't enough for what he wanted. In order to accomplish his goal, he needed to do more than just bend space.

But it was impossible. He didn't have enough time left. So then-

The scene blurred.

A vaguely familiar sight. The old man sat in front of a worn-out desk, scribbling down various magic circles. Teleportation circles with notes and various differential equations jotted along the edges with arrows.

"There's only one way. I can't reach that bastard, so this is the only hope. If it fails..." The old man laughed. "I'm a dead man anyway. So..."

He shook his head and focused, causing countless magic circles to flare to life around him.

-Let's stop thinking about the difficult things. I don't have anything left anyway. Even if I fail and it become the cause for some other incident, I don't care. I'm already fine with whatever. But if I manage to succeed, then...

-LIV-

Nothing. After that last scene, I didn't see anything else.

But I understood now.

It was a black void. A dark expanse where the only thing that existed was 'me.' The only source of light here was myself.

I stared out into the void, the scenes that I just saw flickering through my mind.

It was terrible.

A miserable life that was completely spent in vain. Gaining everything and losing it all in a single moment.

The scenes... No, the memories blurred together. But I got the gist of it.

That was me- No. That was another 'Rudeus Greyrat.'

He was similar to me. Met the same people, walked roughly the same path-

No. For a little while, we were the same. But we were different people.

I didn't see everything, but I got the vague sense of it.

That Rudy was someone different from me. Someone who suffered because of that difference. He had talent and intelligence, but he was too lax about things at the critical moment. Because he subconsciously looked for someone to rely on, he was fooled by Being W and lost everything.

I remembered it now.

Dad's death, dismembered by the attack of a magic-resistant hydra. Norn completely disengaging. Aisha barely acknowledging Dad's death.

Mom becoming an invalid and losing her mind.

Then there was Master Roxy's death. Falling into a depression and losing Sylphy. Eris coming back to save me again and again before dying at my feet after taking a blow meant to end my life.

...No. That was wrong. It wasn't 'me' those memories belonged to. But rather...

I turned around.

There was someone standing there. An old man that I had seen once before. One whose identity I didn't realize at the time.

He was tall and had a well-honed body. A man who spent his entire life training both his body and magic. His back was turned and his gray robes were tattered, revealing countless scars littering his skin.

Rudeus Greyrat. One from a future that ended in a dead end. A man who struggled to the bitter end seeking vengeance on Being W but failed at the last step and tried a desperation tactic to change fate by going back in time.

And also one who Being W tried to use to pull one over on me.

"Heh." The old man chuckled and said, "Even after I'm dead, I'm causing troubles for my younger self, huh?"

I didn't say anything and simply watched him.

It was different. I remembered the last time I met him, he was missing parts of his body. This time though, while his body was battle-scarred, it was whole.

Altogether... He kind of gave off the impression of an older Sauros. A man with a tyrannical presence that could crush everything in his way. Sharp eyes that wouldn't yield to anything... but eyes that were also weary.

He raised his left hand, causing a crimson orb to form. Fragments of a broken magic circle flickered around it as well, containing strange characters. Glyphs. Different from the usual geometric figures I knew and understood.

"You're lucky." The old man... The older Rudeus stared at me with a look that contained equal parts envy and respect. "It was just one change. The difference between you and me is one event in our past life. Because of that, you have everything now. You lost everything before, but right now you have everything that I did and more." He gazed into the orb with a bitter smile and said, "Lucky bastard. I knew the multiverse allowed countless parallel dimensions, but to think that me going back would let this happen..."

"You're the reason, aren't you? Why everything changed so much?" I glared at him and held out my hand towards the orb. No, towards my mana.

It resisted for a moment. The older Rudeus clenched his hand around the orb, as if reluctant to let it go. But then he released it.

My mana came back to me. And when it did, I felt a clear change. Something that I didn't realize was 'off' fixed itself.

And as I stared at the man's left hand, I realized what that was.

He was still holding an orb. It was a lot smaller now, barely the size of a pebble. But it was dense. A clump of mana that was crimson, but slowly changed colors, turning into separate hues.

The blue of water mana. The red of fire mana. Light brown from earth mana. And then a hazy dark violet color that I could only guess had to do with how this entire phenomenon was possible.

Rudeus sighed and then clenched his hand, dissolving the mana. The colors flew out like ribbons before wrapping around him and fading away. "You should know why. I wasn't the only one who died with regrets, right? ...But I guess that's why we're different." He stared at me, his left eye flashing a bright green to reveal a spiral pattern.

My eyes widened and I instinctively wrapped my body with mana, blocking whatever he was doing.

Rudeus chuckled and said, "Yeah. Since you're that cautious, I don't need to worry. Like that guy said, you'll definitely be able to finish the job."

When he said that, his body started fading away. Starting from his feet, he started dissolving into golden particles.

"Hey!" I pointed at him and said, "You don't get to be all mysterious and vanish like that! After all the bull crap you pulled and tampering with my head, you think you can leave just like that?"

I was NOT about to let this bastard run off like in some Shounen anime after dropping some mysterious hints and monologuing. So, glaring at him, I focused and forcibly dragged those particles back into place.

"Hoh?" Rudeus stopped dissolving and then laughed. Staring at me, he shook his head and said, "Fine, fine. It looks like I have more time than I did with the other 'me.'" He waved his hand and formed a pair of stone chairs. "Here. Let's have a chat then."

I stared at him and then walked over, sitting down on the chair opposite of him.

He sat down as well and smirked. "Well, kiddo. What do you want to know?"

"First of all. Why the hell are you an edgelord? And why are you trying to make me an edgelord? Don't you have any shame as an old man?"

Rudeus's face distorted.


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