Chapter 92 - To Cry In Silence (2)
This wasn't the first time Li Chuntao stepped inside the Imperial Residences where the Shen family resided. While Shen Zichen had already moved out and gotten a place of his own, he occasionally spent time with his family and attended the weekend dinners their mother insisted on hosting.
Looking around, Li Chuntao marveled at how neat and tidy the place was kept. It was as if she had returned to the past. Almost everything had stayed the same from her childhood memories.
She remembered playing around with Shen Yuyan and Ying at the greenhouse where the great white tiger resides.
When her Uncle Yuren and Auntie Yue weren't married yet, Auntie Yue used to bring her and Ying here to play with Shen Yuyan who was the closest girl to their age and status. Since they were Li princesses, Shen Yuyan easily understood the worries and pressure they were receiving from everyone else.
When the four stepped into the main house, they were greeted by a scene of a huge white tiger playing with Shen Lingtian who was sprawled on the floor. The white tiger pounced at him and the man beneath it attempted to wrestle with the beast.
"Lingtian, what are you doing?" Shen Zichen crossed his arm and glared down to their youngest sibling, a deep frown etched on his handsome face.
The white tiger stopped resisting and looked up at Shen Zichen. The man beneath it squirmed and grinned back at him.
"Zi Gege, you arrived early." Shen Lingtian then looked past behind Shen Zichen and blinked. "And you brought Sister Chuntao with you?" He beamed. "Hey, Xiao Bai, release me so I can greet Sister Chuntao!"
Shen Lingtian idolized Li Chuntao since he was young. He thought that Li Chuntao was really cool for acing her studies and was able to go head to head against his Zi Gege in the game of chess.
He pushed the tiger's snout away from his face and sat up on the floor. The white tiger huffed and decided to ignore him.
"Yes, we have a guest, so could you please behave, at least for tonight?" Shen Zichen told him before striding towards the kitchen with Qingqing to look for their mother, leaving Yuyan and Lingtian to accompany Li Chuntao.
"Sister Chuntao, I'm sorry for what happened but I'm glad to see that you're back." Shen Lingtian dusted off the fur that was stuck on his shirt and watched as Xiao Bai left and went to the garden where the grill was set to use.
Li Chuntao smiled, not sure how to respond. It still pained her whenever someone mentioned about her twin's passing.
"It's alright. We really weren't prepared for it I guess," she responded.
"Oh, Chuntao. I'm glad you accepted Zichen's invitation. I've been asking him about you for days but he kept delaying this dinner with you." Lu Xinyi suddenly appeared from the kitchen with Zichen and Qingqing following behind her, both holding plates and containers filled with meat that were ready to be grilled.
Looking at Madam Shen, Li Chuntao thought that Lu Xinyi had aged well since the last time she'd seen her. She guessed that like Zheng Yue, Lu Xinyi knew how to delay her age. She was also amazed at how the woman could balance her work and family no matter how busy she could get.
Shen Yuyan huffed and pulled Li Chuntao with her at the garden before saying, "just to be clear, it wasn't Zi Gege who invited her. It was me!" She glared on her twin brother. "You were probably planning not to ask her tonight if I didn't mention it."
"You beat me to it. I was just about to ask her when you did," Shen Zichen defended before following them outside.
Lu Xinyi shook her head and entwined her arm with Shen Lingqing's. They sat on the bench under the tree and watched as Zichen and Lingtian tried to start the charcoal grills together while Yuyan and Li Chuntao chose the meat to be grilled at a table nearby.
"I'm glad that you were able to convince Chuntao to come here," she told her daughter. "How is she coping with it?"
Lu Xinyi didn't pity Li Chuntao but she could somehow relate to the pain the younger woman was going through. As a child, Lu Xinyi had lost her parents at a young age and had always felt alone. However, Li Chuntao had also just lost her twin sister, Ying. It must've been hard for her to live every day knowing that she was completely left alone by her family.
Shen Lingqing's lips pressed into a thin line.
"Just as Zi Gege said, she's now pretending to be Sister Ying. I really think this isn't necessary, but who am I to judge?" Shen Lingqing said.
She couldn't truly understand how Li Chuntao felt, but thought that she would also be beyond devastated if she lost everyone as Li Chuntao did. She must truly feel alone right now.
There would be times when silence was far more wrenching than crying. That even if Li Chuntao wanted to cry, no tears would come out, so she would be left alone staring blankly into space while feeling her heart breaking into pieces.
To cry in silence and not being heard by anyone was one of the saddest things one could suffer in their lifetime.
Li Yuren must also be having a hard time right now. Lu Xinyi remembered how the man grieved over his sister's death years ago and now with Li Xiuying's death, it wouldn't be easy for him to accept it.
"This is the time that Chuntao would need someone to be with." Lu Xinyi said worriedly. Knowing the younger woman's personality, Lu Xinyi wouldn't be surprised if Li Chuntao took a sudden turn and became reckless while seeking revenge.
"Zi Gege is with her now. I think it's best for the meantime, since they haven't truly grieved for Sister Ying. They would need a lot of support and patience. I just hope this revenge wouldn't backfire to them later on."
"What do you mean?" Lu Xinyi's brows creased. Was there something she didn't know about? Was there something wrong with her eldest child?
She eyed Shen Zichen and couldn't see anything wrong with him. He still acts the same as before or was he hiding something from them? Lu Xinyi focused her attention on Zichen but she couldn't find anything wrong with him.
"Because Zi Gege isn't aware of what he really feels. If Sister Chuntao was the one who died and not Sister Ying, I think he would be in greater pain than he is now." Shen Lingqing took a can of soda which was placed on an ice bucket near her and opened it with a loud click.
"Why do you say that?" Lu Xinyi rubbed her chin. Maybe she should discuss this with her husband. Shen Yi might probably know what was happening with their son.
"Because Mom, between the Li twins, who do you think Zi Gege spends more time talking with? To whom will he reach out first when he's troubled? Isn't it Sister Chuntao and not Sister Ying?" Her daughter said in a matter of fact tone. "Sister Ying might be his childhood friend but Sister Chuntao is practically his best girl friend.. Their bond is deeper than they know or would admit."