Maybe a Fake Gintama

"Protecting friends!" Gintoki gripped his wooden sword tightly.

"Fighting to protect the soul, our names are..." Sakamoto slowly announced his title, "Jouishishi, Sakamoto Tatsuma."

"Sakata Gintoki..."

"We have arrived!" ×2

Shouting, Gintoki and Sakamoto charged towards the Renpou soldiers...

...

Elsewhere, in a dark and damp passage, Kawaki was crawling behind Tsukuyo, moving slowly in a particular direction.

"What exactly are you trying to do?" Tsukuyo asked indifferently. "Can't you handle this like when you fought the Tatsunoro?"

"It's useless. Even if we kill all those guys, it won't help." Kawaki replied casually. "This steel planet isn't some trivial army. The Renpou soldiers... compared to the Tatsunoro, they're certainly weaker, but... it's a bit different..."

"You could say they're not as hopeless," Kawaki answered even more casually. "The real trouble is the guy above them who completely controls them."

"Then shouldn't you go with those two to face that Mido or whatever his name is?" Tsukuyo asked, then stopped and gave a strong kick behind her.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Kawaki, who was kicked in the nose by Tsukuyo, covered his bleeding nose, veins popping as he shouted angrily.

"Next time, it'll be your eyes," Tsukuyo warned coldly.

"Huh?!" Kawaki, realizing what she meant, clenched his fists, eyes wide with anger. "What do you mean? Are you saying I'm peeking at you? Who would want to peek at your dirty little panties?! Don't joke around!"

"Stop pretending. Your nose is bleeding, you disgusting man," Tsukuyo replied with disdain.

"Do you believe I'll kill you?!" Kawaki, veins popping on his forehead, shouted. "It's clearly because you stomped on me! And you're the one who said you wanted to walk in front! When you saw the passage could only allow one person through, you decided this!"

Kawaki then seemed to realize something, his face showing sudden understanding. "Oh! I get it! Tsukuyo, you did this on purpose..."

"Who would do that on purpose?!" Tsukuyo, blushing, screamed in anger and began kicking Kawaki's face repeatedly.

At that moment, the noise of duck feet hitting the ground came from below them.

Underneath Kawaki and Tsukuyo, a group of Renpou soldiers, alerted by the commotion, were checking their surroundings.

"Did you find anything?" One soldier raised a signboard.

"No, nothing at all." Another soldier raised a signboard.

At that moment, another soldier holding a signboard ran over.

"The intruders have been found! They are confronting the twin generals in front of the governor's mansion! Everyone, go support them immediately! We must capture the intruders in one fell swoop!" 𝘳

"Understood!" ×n

The Renpou soldiers dropped their signboards and ran toward the governor's mansion without looking back.

"It seems... Gintoki and the others have started." Kawaki whispered in the narrow passage above as he watched the scene below, then released his hand from Tsukuyo's mouth.

"Let go of me!" Tsukuyo, blushing, reminded him.

"Honestly, we almost got caught because of you, and you still have this attitude." Kawaki, lying on top of Tsukuyo, muttered in dissatisfaction before crawling forward again.

"I'll definitely kill you next time."

"Yeah, yeah..." Kawaki replied casually. "We'll worry about next time when it comes. We have more important things to do now."

"Shouldn't we support those two?" Tsukuyo asked.

"Those two will be fine," Kawaki replied casually.

"Are you planning to bypass the soldiers and go directly to face Mido?" Tsukuyo asked again.

"In a way, my goal is the same as Gintoki's," Kawaki didn't answer directly, continuing, "It's to find the head of the snake..."

"Then..."

"But our destinations are not the same," Kawaki continued.

"Not Mido?" Tsukuyo suddenly realized something.

"I can't be sure, but I have an uneasy feeling," Kawaki said. "No matter how you look at it, this steel planet is too strange..."

"In what way?"

"Look at this." Kawaki threw a small booklet to Tsukuyo behind him.

Flipping through the "Renpou Code of Conduct," Tsukuyo asked, "What did you find in here?"

"Just a few odd things," Kawaki said as he crawled. "This code, which restrains the Renpou soldiers, was established a long time ago by the first Renpou marshal. Mido didn't create it, but he continues to enforce it without changing a single rule, which seems odd."

"So what?"

"Think of it this way, Tsukuyo. Have you ever seen two people with identical personalities, preferences, and habits?"

Tsukuyo thought for a moment, then shook her head slowly.

"Even twins can't achieve that, yet the five Renpou marshals are exactly the same in personality, preferences, and habits. Don't you find that strange?" Kawaki asked, then continued without waiting for her reply, "There are only two possibilities: either all five marshals are actually the same person, which is unlikely because that loose woman said Mido rose from a lowly soldier. So, the only other possibility is..."

"They all have a hidden, never-before-seen true leader," Tsukuyo finished.

"Exactly. Our task is to find that hidden, never-revealed leader," Kawaki confirmed.

...

Meanwhile, Gintoki, fighting Renpou soldiers, smirked slightly, a self-mocking smile on his face.

"Really, a man more meticulous than a woman... there's only one like that in the world," Gintoki said, knocking a soldier away with his wooden sword. He glanced at Sakamoto. "Hey, Tatsuma, did you hear that? Looks like that bastard is using us as pawns..."

Just then, Gintoki noticed Sakamoto sitting on a cushion, peacefully exchanging business cards and conversing with the right dragon general.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Gintoki's face twitched, veins popping as he shouted angrily.

"Ahahaha," Sakamoto laughed, casually reassuring Gintoki. "Don't worry about it. Keep fighting. I have my way of causing a commotion. And don't forget the plan."

Sakamoto gave Gintoki a thumbs up.

"Tch!" Gintoki spat in annoyance, then swung his wooden sword again, hitting a charging soldier in the waist and sending him flying.

"What kind of commotion? I'm the only one fighting here!" Gintoki grumbled.

"What are you up to?" The right dragon general raised a signboard at Sakamoto.

"No, no," Sakamoto adjusted his sunglasses and whispered mysteriously, "Let me tell you a secret. Coming all the way here to protect Earth is just an excuse. Actually, I'm here to do business behind my companions' backs."

"Business?" The right dragon general raised a signboard.

Sakamoto rubbed his hands together, smiling apologetically. "Yes, my aspiration is to live in this vast galaxy. I don't really have any attachment to Earth."

"You still want to buy Earth? Even though you're attacking?" The right dragon general raised a signboard.

"No, no, that's just an excuse by an immature girl. Negotiations didn't go well, so she threw a tantrum. But thanks to that, I know what you really want."

"What?"

"White demons (Gundams). More than weapons, you want something that can invade Earth, right?" Sakamoto crossed his arms, shrugging with a face full of reasonableness. "I have something to recommend to you invaders. Tonight's special product is not the white demon, but the white night demon—"

Sakamoto pointed to Gintoki, surrounded by Renpou soldiers, and continued, "—Shiroyasha! This time, we've specially used pure white paint as requested."

"What nonsense are you spouting?!" Gintoki shouted, veins bulging, turning back to curse at Sakamoto.

But at that moment, a Renpou soldier, seizing the opportunity, lunged at Gintoki and knocked him to the ground.

More soldiers swarmed Gintoki, relentlessly stabbing him with their weapons.

Gintoki's screams filled the air, but Sakamoto continued his sales pitch. "And this time, it comes bundled with the self-destructing Gintoki, adult toy 'Sakaamot,' and... no, that's it. It's an unbeatable deal!"