My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melons

What? The whole family has scandalous affairs?

Tsk tsk, what kind of family is this?

Yanshu immediately became excited and said, "Tell me quickly, what's going on?"

After all, it was still early, and there was plenty of time today.

However, she heard the system ask her, "Then who should we start with?"

Yanshu: "..."

Well, there were so many juicy stories that it became difficult to decide where to begin.

She thought for a moment and said, "Then let's start from the oldest to the youngest, beginning with Duke Qi."

She heard the system respond with an "Alright!" and immediately began to spill the tea:

"To talk about Duke Qi's scandal, we need to start with Emperor Gaozu's sons, who were the Former Emperor's brothers. As is well known, the Former Emperor had a total of five brothers. Among them, only he and the youngest, the King of Beiliang, were Emperor Gaozu's legitimate sons, and thus Duke Qi's blood nephews. Although both were Duke Qi's blood nephews, in reality, Duke Qi favored the King of Beiliang more. Why? Because the King of Beiliang married the daughter of his brother-in-law, the Marquis of Anding."

Yanshu, afraid of getting confused, quickly sorted out the details, "So you're saying that Duke Qi's wife's niece married the King of Beiliang and became the princess consort? They became even closer relatives, so Duke Qi favored his younger nephew, the King of Beiliang."

The system said that was correct, "Anyway, Duke Qi, the Marquis of Anding, and the King of Beiliang formed an interest group, competing with the Former Emperor behind the scenes for the position of crown prince. But no matter what, the Former Emperor was still the elder brother and ultimately ascended to the throne legitimately. However, the King of Beiliang had already made plans, intending to rebel under the pretext of the Former Emperor's false edict."

Hearing this, Yanshu raised an eyebrow, "As a key member of the interest group, Duke Qi must have known about this, right?"

The system said, "Of course he knew, and he even helped the King of Beiliang quite a bit with the plan. However, the Former Emperor and the Empress Dowager weren't pushovers either and had already made preparations. By coincidence, Duke Qi got wind of this early on, and after comparing the situation, he realized the King of Beiliang had no chance of winning. So he immediately went to the Former Emperor and betrayed the King of Beiliang, secretly eliminating all the confidants around him who knew about this matter, and earned merit by presenting himself as a firm supporter of the Former Emperor."

Yanshu: "... So the King of Beiliang died before he could even start his rebellion?"

System: "Well, he died, of course. How could the Former Emperor tolerate such a major act of treason?"

Yanshu: "... What about the other member of the interest group, Duke Qi's brother-in-law, the Marquis of Anding?"

System: "Duke Qi sold him out too. His brother-in-law, along with his father-in-law's entire family, were all sent to accompany the King of Beiliang in death."

Yanshu: "... What a ruthless person! Doesn't that mean Duke Qi's wife must hate her husband to death?"

Tsk, after all, Duke Qi was the first to discover something was wrong. If he had properly advised his brother-in-law to stop, couldn't he have avoided the death of his father-in-law's entire family?

But the system said, "You're overthinking it. Duke Qi would never have advised his brother-in-law to stop. After all, the Former Emperor knew he was closer to the King of Beiliang, and after ascending to the throne, he would certainly be wary of him. The title of uncle alone wouldn't count for much. So he had to betray his brother-in-law as well to show enough loyalty and sincerity to make the Former Emperor believe in him. So even if his wife hated him to death, he had to do it."

Yanshu: "..."

Well, the story was over, and the outcome was obvious - Duke Qi finally managed to keep his wealth and status by betraying his teammates and his in-laws' entire family. Now he could even use his status as the emperor's great-uncle to submit memorials meddling in the emperor's affairs.

System: "That's not just meddling. His own granddaughter has just come of age this year, so she's ready to be married, right? Looking around the capital now, there aren't many families that can match his status."

Yanshu: "Heh."

So this old man wants to secure another empress position to maintain his wealth and status? The problem is, if you have the ability to protect it, then do so, but why do you have to dig a pit for others first? Isn't that a bit too unscrupulous?

Oh right, this old man never had any scruples to begin with.

But come to think of it, Duke Qi's betrayal of his teammates is indeed not easy to expose. Firstly, it's a major incident, and secondly, it happened a long time ago. After all, Duke Qi himself is already in his seventies or eighties, so there probably aren't many people still alive who knew the inside story back then.

But that's okay, aren't there other scandals...?

So she asked the system again, "Tell me about someone else, what other scandals does their family have?"

Then she heard the system say, "Then let's talk about Duke Qi's heir. He's about the same age as Duke Cheng'en, and is also a profligate son. His level of lechery is comparable to Duke Cheng'en's. Not to mention the countless concubines and bedmaids in his household, a few years ago when he went hunting in Lu Prefecture, he took a liking to the eldest daughter of Lin Chengxian, the centurion of the Lu Prefecture Right Guard, and forced her to become his concubine."

Hearing this, Yanshu couldn't help but slam the table and shout "Scoundrel!" "A perfectly good daughter from an official's family, forced to be a concubine to such an old lecher? Even Duke Cheng'en hasn't gone so far as to force himself on someone!"

System: "Who says he hasn't? But that's not the end of it. A couple of years later, when Centurion Lin's second daughter grew up, this old lecher wanted to prey on her too. Naturally, Centurion Lin was unwilling, so he quickly found a marriage partner for his second daughter and got her engaged. Who knew that this scoundrel would hold a grudge, and framed Centurion Lin for embezzling military supplies, getting him locked up in Lu Prefecture Prison. Just a few days ago, Centurion Lin was released, but this scoundrel is feeling disgruntled and is planning to frame him again with another crime."

What???

Yanshu was so angry she almost stood up, "This old lecher is specifically targeting one family to bully! And he's so vindictive, he threw the man in prison because he couldn't prey on his second daughter? This is even more inhuman than Duke Cheng'en!"

System: "That's right, after all, his family status is higher than Duke Cheng'en's. As they say, the higher the family status, the more degenerate the prodigal sons they raise."

Yanshu: "... Pfft, that's indeed true. By the way, does his family have any more scandals?"

System: "Of course there are! The wife of Duke Qi's heir is also a fierce one!"

Yanshu raised an eyebrow, "Tell me quickly, how fierce is she?"

The system then said, "This Lady Wei was originally the Second Daughter of the Second Branch of Marquis Yongping's Mansion. When Duke Qi's family was arranging a marriage, they originally had their eye on the legitimate daughter of the main branch, who was Lady Wei's cousin. However, in order to marry into Duke Qi's family, Lady Wei secretly put elm flowers in her cousin's food, causing her allergic cousin to break out in a rash all over her body and become unpresentable. Then she spread rumors saying her cousin's face was covered in pockmarks. As a result, Duke Qi's family chose her as their daughter-in-law instead."

Yanshu: "... Isn't this just sabotage? And she sabotaged her own family member at that."

As someone with allergies herself, she naturally sympathized with that cousin.

But come to think of it, after going to such lengths to marry an old lecher, constantly seeing the countless concubines in the mansion, she wondered if Lady Wei regretted it or not?

But she heard the system say, "Lady Wei doesn't regret it, after all, this was her dream, to be the future duchess! However, there's not a single concubine in the mansion who doesn't regret it, because there's not one who hasn't been drugged by her."

Drugged?

Yanshu was startled, "What kind of drug?"

System: "Of course it's a sterilization drug! With Lady Wei's personality, she definitely couldn't allow the concubines in the mansion to give birth to illegitimate children that would be eyesores to her. So none of her husband's concubines can have children, and if any of them get pregnant, once discovered, they would all be given abortion drugs by her. That's why although Duke Qi's heir has many concubines, he doesn't have a single illegitimate son or daughter."

Yanshu couldn't help but sigh, "What sin did those girls like the eldest daughter of Centurion Lin commit, to be treated like this by this couple!"

But then she heard the system say another sentence, "Lady Wei not only does this herself, but she also teaches her daughter by example."

Yanshu was stunned, and couldn't help but hiss, while instinctively touching her belly.

This... if this daughter really becomes the empress...

No! She absolutely cannot allow anyone to harm her child. Hmph!

Just as she was feeling indignant, she heard the system say another sentence, "Of course, not all concubines submit to being slaughtered without fighting back. There's a newly entered concubine in their mansion with a fierce temperament. After being drugged by the heir's wife, she harbored resentment and seduced her son for revenge."

Yanshu: "???"

Damn... It seems this grandson of Duke Qi isn't reliable either.

System: [Like father, like son, as they say.]

Yanshu: [...I have to admit... That's another truism.]

Tsk, this Duke Qi's household could really be called a breeding ground for "talent".

Having finished gossiping for now, she thought for a moment. Based on what she'd heard so far, the easiest thing to tackle should be the matter of Duke Qi's heir framing Officer Lin...

However, what she was more curious about right now was how the Emperor had reacted after receiving Duke Qi's memorial.

The System said: [How else would he react? Duke Qi is his great-uncle. Since he personally led five or six high officials into the palace to submit a memorial, the Emperor naturally had to accept it, and even had to exchange a few polite words with the old man.]

Yanshu was somewhat dissatisfied and pouted: [So what is he thinking? Does he also want to hold a selection for Empress?]

System: [This System doesn't know about that. This System can't probe the Emperor's inner thoughts.]

Yanshu: [...]

Fine, if the System couldn't probe then so be it. Anyway, she now had mind-reading abilities, so she could test him out when he came.

Just as she was thinking this, she heard an announcement from outside: "His Majesty the Emperor arrives..."

Yanshu was stunned.

— It was only morning, why had he come at this time?

But since he was already here, she got up to go greet him outside the door, bowing and saying, "Greetings to Your Majesty."

In the blink of an eye, he had already come close. He reached out to help her up, saying, "Rise."

Then he lowered his gaze to carefully examine her expression, asking, "How are you today?"

Yanshu secretly raised an eyebrow.

— How am I today?

Why would he ask her this? Could it be because of Duke Qi submitting the memorial?

Did he want to see her reaction?

Yuwen Lan: "..."

That was indeed what he was thinking.

Knowing she had that special ability and that nothing could be hidden from her, he wanted to come quickly to see if she had any wild thoughts.

But then he heard her think irritably: [How else could I be? The mighty Duke Qi's household is digging a pit for me to jump into! I absolutely can't let them off!]

Yuwen Lan: "???"

Duke Qi's household was digging a pit for her?

What was this about now?

Fortunately, she then spoke up: "This consort is quite well. However, I just heard something that I was thinking of reporting to Your Majesty."

Yuwen Lan gave an "oh" and said, "What is it?" As he spoke, he naturally took her hand and sat down with her on the heated couch.

He then heard her say, "That case of embezzling rations from two years ago at the Lu Prefecture military camp was actually a false accusation. In fact, it was because Duke Qi's heir went hunting in Lu Prefecture some years back and took a liking to the eldest daughter of Lin Chengxian, the Centurion of the Lu Prefecture Right Guard. He first forcibly took her as a concubine, and then wanted to take her younger sister as well. The Lin family was upright and clean, so naturally they were unwilling to send both their good daughters to that old man in his fifties. Moreover, Duke Qi's wife was vicious and had made all the concubines in the household infertile with drugs."

"To avoid having his daughter fall into the tiger's den again, Centurion Lin quickly found a marriage match for his second daughter. Unexpectedly, this angered Duke Qi's heir, who then framed Centurion Lin with the crime of stealing and selling military rations, and had him imprisoned. I heard Centurion Lin was released a few days ago, but that man still intends to frame him again!"

"What?" Upon hearing this, Yuwen Lan immediately frowned and said, "It was actually like this?"

Yanshu nodded vigorously, "It's absolutely true. In fact, this matter isn't difficult to investigate. As long as Your Majesty sends someone to Lu Prefecture to ask around, the truth can be uncovered."

Yuwen Lan of course knew that if she could say this, the matter must be true.

He let out a breath and nodded, "Very well, I will send someone to investigate right away."

As he spoke, he was about to get up.

But she stopped him, saying, "This consort has one more thing to report."

He paused, "What else is there?"

Yanshu coughed, "This consort has a story and would like to ask Your Majesty's opinion."

— It's actually about Consort Dowager Hui's family.

She thought for a moment and felt she should still tell the Emperor about this matter.

After all, if Consort Dowager Hui's family members were not content and had designs elsewhere...

If rumors were spread and eventually reached the Emperor's ears, it would inevitably affect his relationship with the Empress Dowager. So it was better for her to proactively tell him the truth now.

Yuwen Lan, who had silently heard her thoughts, naturally already knew she wanted to talk about his birth mother's matter. He became even more curious and patiently said, "Go ahead and tell me."

Yanshu then said, "There was a story about a great noble family with a kind and benevolent mistress who treated the concubines well, and the concubines repaid her with true loyalty. One day, a concubine gave birth to a child but unfortunately could not survive the birth. On her deathbed, the concubine entrusted her young child to the mistress, who then raised the child with great care and toil until he grew up and inherited the family headship."

"But just when everything seemed peaceful, the concubine's family suddenly appeared. They told a bunch of lies to the young family head's beloved, attempting to drive a wedge between the family head and his foster mother, and frame the beloved as disloyal. Fortunately, the beloved was wise and clever, and discovered the truth in time. It turned out these relatives had actually owed a debt to the family head's birth mother and had never gotten along with her. Now they were fabricating a story of sisterly affection, hoping to use the family head's power for their own gain."

"After learning the truth, the beloved naturally did not let those schemers succeed. But now she doesn't know whether she should tell the family head the truth or not."

As she finished speaking, she quickly looked at him.

Yuwen Lan had of course already understood. In this story, the family head was him, the wise and clever beloved was her, the foster mother was the Empress Dowager, and the concubine who passed away early was naturally his birth mother.

He was rather surprised - so his birth mother's relatives had come to find her?

Since he now knew about this, he naturally wanted to ask for the details.

So he said, "Why don't you explain in more detail - why did the family head's birth mother have a bad relationship with her relatives?"

Yanshu thought to herself, it seems he has understood.

Alright, since he wanted to know, she might as well tell him everything about Consort Dowager Hui's life.

So she continued, "It started when this lady was young. Her father favored a concubine over his wife, causing the lady's mother to pass away early. Afterwards, her father elevated the concubine to formal wife status and had more children with her. This lady naturally could never let go of this matter. Later when she first entered the household, she was favored by the old family head for a time due to her beauty. Unfortunately, the old family head was not a constant man. After she became pregnant, he was no longer as good to her. This lady couldn't accept it and became depressed. After giving birth, seeing that the family head still treated her and her child coldly, she became even more heartbroken, to the point of developing a wasting illness. She soon passed away."

"Before her death, she still hated her family. After entrusting her child to the mistress, she specifically instructed that her relatives were not ambitious people, and in the future to never let them use the child, lest they tarnish the child's reputation."

...

Yuwen Lan understood the rest of the story without her needing to continue. His birth mother's family must have been unwilling to accept this and came to her to spread rumors.

— In fact, although he had no memories from when he was young, he had later heard the palace ladies mention that from the time he was born, his father the Emperor had already begun to cultivate the Dao, so even though he was a prince, the Emperor was very indifferent towards him. His sensitive birth mother became depressed because of this and fell ill.

So what she said must be true.

Of course, he would not pay any attention to those relatives who wanted to use him for their own gain.

But at this moment, he couldn't help feeling heavy-hearted.

Such a pitiful woman, to wither away like that in the palace.

Just as he was about to sigh, he suddenly heard Yanshu's inner thoughts:

[Oh my poor baby, your birth grandmother and birth father were both so pitiful! We must both take good care of ourselves, okay? When you're born, Mommy will definitely give you lots of kisses and hugs, my darling child...]

Yuwen Lan: "..."

"Birth grandmother" was one thing, but what was this about "birth father"?

Could it be there would be a father who wasn't the birth father?

But just then, he heard her think to herself again: [Oh baby, when all is said and done, Mommy is just a concubine too! What if Mommy dies one day, will your daddy have to find someone else to raise you?]

Yuwen Lan's heart skipped a beat.

He suddenly couldn't help saying to her, "I have already lost my birth mother in this lifetime. This tragedy will definitely not be allowed to happen to you."

Yanshu was stunned upon hearing this.

How...

Immediately after, she saw him place his hand on her belly.

Yanshu then heard him say in his heart, "You two are now the most important people to me."

Hearing this, Yanshu was stunned once again.

An indescribable warmth spread through her heart, gradually extending throughout her body, even causing her eyes to water and her nose to tingle.

But wait, who was more important - her or the child?

Yuwen Lan: "???"

Did this even need to be chosen between?

Before he could come to his senses, he saw her take his hand and place it on her belly again, saying, "Your Majesty, the baby has been moving a lot lately. You should feel it and talk to the baby more."

Hehe, she knew it - it must be the belly!

As long as he touched her belly, she could read his mind!

Yuwen Lan: "!!!"

Wh-what's going on???