My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melons

No matter what, a stroke is a serious condition.0

Hearing the imperial physician say this, Yuwen Lan immediately ordered people to first carry Old Master Zhuang to the back hall, and told the imperial physician to intensify treatment.0

Later, when his condition stabilized slightly, he had people send him back home.0

The uninformed crowd in the hall praised the emperor's care for his old minister, but also lamented that Old Master Zhuang was too sensitive - how could he get so upset just from hearing a story?0

Of course, regardless, today they had watched wonderful water performances all day and heard the Carefree Young Master's latest story, so it was truly a fulfilling experience.0

As the evening banquet was coming to an end and the emperor was about to return to the palace, Ms. Zhu took the opportunity amidst the farewells to quietly ask her daughter Yanshu, "It's not easy for us to meet. There's something your grandmother and I have been concerned about and want to ask you."0

Yanshu, not understanding, quickly said, "Mother, whatever it is, just say it."0

She heard her mother say, "You've been serving in the emperor's bedchamber for half a year now, but there's still no good news. Have you seen a doctor about it?"0

Yanshu: "..."0

Tsk, so this is what mother was worried about.0

She wanted to tell her mother that she had only taken that substantial step with the emperor last month, and for the five months before that, the emperor had been unable to perform.0

But she could only vaguely say, "Mother, don't worry. I'm fine..."0

Ms. Zhu was still concerned and hurriedly said, "Your Highness, don't be embarrassed. I know the servants around you are all young, and Rendong doesn't understand these things either. Since we rarely get to meet, let me remind you as your mother - if a normal couple hasn't had any news after half a year of marriage, they should see a doctor. This way, you can find out if there's any deficiency early on and get treatment promptly, so as not to waste time."0

Yanshu found it hard to explain and could only say again, "Mother, please don't worry. There's a very skilled doctor in the palace. I've seen him, and he didn't say there was anything wrong with my body."0

Then she heard her mother nod and say, "Well, if there's nothing wrong with your body, then it must be that the positions aren't quite right."0

Yanshu: "???"0

What?0

...The positions aren't right???0

Tsk, can mothers and daughters discuss such explosive topics?0

Before she could say anything, she saw her mother take something out of her sleeve and quickly slip it into her hand, saying, "Your Highness, take a good look at this when you have time after you return. This is an old family heirloom, very effective. Many people conceived after trying it just once."0

Yanshu: "???"0

What?0

Their family had an heirloom for conceiving children? And it was so effective?0

Curious, she quickly looked down and saw it was a small booklet.0

As soon as she opened the first page, she was hit with some very impactful images.0

Her eyes widened instantly, but before she could take a closer look, she heard Rendong say from the side, "My lady, His Majesty and the Empress Dowager are getting up."0

She hurriedly closed the booklet, quickly stuffed it into her sleeve, and stood up as well.0

At the same time, the entire hall immediately knelt down and called out, "Respectfully sending off His Majesty, the Empress Dowager, and Consort Yi."0

The Empress Dowager and the emperor were already walking out, so Yanshu followed their footsteps out of the hall.0

She pretended nothing had happened, her expression very natural.0

However, Yuwen Lan had already seen the moment when mother and daughter passed something between them.0

But due to the noise in his ears at the time, he hadn't seen clearly what they had passed, nor heard what they had said.0

Outside the great hall, the carriages were waiting in front.0

He wanted to ask, but unfortunately, with so many eyes watching and the Empress Dowager present, it wasn't appropriate for him to ride in the same carriage as her. He could only temporarily suppress his curiosity and return to the palace first.0

When they arrived at Ganlu Palace and finished changing clothes and washing up, all the unnecessary personnel had already withdrawn.0

Yuwen Lan remembered this matter again, and as soon as he got into bed, he immediately asked Yanshu, "What did the Loyal and Righteous Marquis's wife give you when saying goodbye earlier?"0

Yanshu was stunned, only now realizing that he had seen it.0

But that thing...0

Tsk, it was fine for her to look at it herself, but if others saw it, wouldn't it affect her mother's image?0

So she lied, "It was nothing, just a small pouch my mother sewed for me."0

Who knew he would raise an eyebrow and say, "Lying to me has very serious consequences."0

Yanshu: "..."0

Tsk, this man is as cunning as a monkey.0

She could only put on a troubled face and say, "It's not that I don't want to show it to Your Majesty, it's just not quite appropriate..."0

Yuwen Lan raised an eyebrow, "What's not appropriate? Is it something treasonous?"0

Yanshu didn't know whether to laugh or cry, "How could that be possible?"0

Fine, it seemed she couldn't avoid it today. She steeled herself and said, "I'll tell Your Majesty, but please don't get angry or blame anyone."0

Yuwen Lan naturally nodded, "Let's hear it."0

Yanshu then said, "My mother was thinking of the imperial heir and gave me something, saying it could help me conceive an heir sooner..."0

Tsk, if her mother knew about this moment, she'd be so mortified...0

However, when Yuwen Lan heard this, he became even more curious, "There's such a good thing? Quickly take it out and let me see."0

At his age, heaven knows how much he wanted an heir!0

Yanshu had no choice but to take out the small booklet and say, "Your Majesty, please look."0

Yuwen Lan took it, and as soon as he opened the first page, he was immediately shocked by the extremely impactful images.0

Yanshu, who hadn't gotten a clear look earlier, also leaned in to look together, and couldn't help but think to herself, [I can't believe Mother's old Li family actually had such a good thing, it's too exciting!]0

[This visual effect is definitely more intense than any colored storybook!]0

[Hmm, so that's the position... tsk tsk, exciting exciting, ahem, might as well try it with the emperor later...]0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

Who was being so coy earlier?0

But speaking of which, where did the Loyal and Righteous Marquis's wife get this thing from? It's even more... intense than any picture book he had seen before.0

After silently examining the first page, he turned to the second page and found it... even more stimulating.0

Then came the third page, fourth page, fifth page...0

Tsk, each one was more extreme than the last.0

Yanshu thought the same.0

Tsk, their Li family ancestors were really ahead of their time.0

After a while, when they had browsed through the entire booklet, she noticed that the expression of the man beside her had become even more serious.0

"..."0

For a moment, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. She wondered if he might be angry.0

Would he punish her family?0

But to her surprise, she heard him say in a deep voice, "Since the Loyal and Righteous Marquis's wife had such good intentions, how could I disappoint her? Why don't we give it a try?"0

As he spoke, he suddenly pressed her down beneath him.0

Yanshu: "..."0

I can't believe I fell for that.0

For several days in a row, Yanshu's waist and legs were sore and weak, as if she had returned to the time when a certain someone had first tasted meat.0

Tsk, the emperor seemed to have treated that little booklet as some kind of treasure manual, pulling her to practice together every night with a very serious attitude.0

As a result, she had to sleep until late morning every day, her muscles very sore, and she couldn't even manage to write her stories.0

Fortunately, "The Unfaithful Man Finally Punished by Heaven" had just been completed that day, and readers were still immersed in it. The booksellers were also busy counting money, so they didn't have time to urge her yet.0

So she leisurely spent a few days as a lazy fish.0

This morning, she had just finished breakfast not long ago when she heard the system ding and say, [There's a follow-up to Old Master Zhuang's situation.]0

Yanshu was startled and immediately asked, [What's going on?]0

The system said, [You know how Old Master Zhuang had a stroke at the palace banquet? After this news spread, everyone found it curious and discussed it. Before long, more and more people knew about it, and someone brought the news to his hometown. When his eldest legitimate son heard about it, he came to the capital to find him. Plus, with your story spreading everywhere these past few days, that concubine's family was very nervous. When they saw the eldest son arrive, they thought he had come to fight for the inheritance, so they avoided him and wouldn't let him in the door.]0

[Of course, this eldest son was angry and started making a fuss at the gate. As it happened, this morning the emperor had sent the Vice Minister of Rites and the Chief Censor to visit Old Master Zhuang's house. They ran into this eldest son, and seeing these two men in official robes, he lost his temper and spilled everything on the spot. When the Vice Minister of Rites and the Chief Censor heard this, they thought it was a serious matter and immediately hurried back to the palace to report to the emperor. The emperor then ordered people to bring in both the legitimate and illegitimate sons of this old man, and they're currently in the middle of investigating the case!]0

Yanshu's eyes lit up, [Isn't this another scene of drama!!!]0

I really want to see it!!!0

However...0

There was a group of men there, so even if she wanted to enter, she couldn't.0

Tsk, it seemed this juicy gossip could only be enjoyed by the emperor himself.0

She sighed regretfully. As a highly dedicated spy, missing out on such fresh firsthand gossip was truly unbearable.0

Unexpectedly, not long after, she heard palace servants from the Palace of Benevolent Peace outside, saying, "Consort Yi, the Empress Dowager requests your presence."0

Yanshu: "..."0

Could it be that the Empress Dowager wanted to ask her for information?0

But she wasn't even in Qianming Palace. The Empress Dowager might as well go there directly to enjoy the gossip with the emperor...0

And bring her along while she's at it...0

Of course, this was all unrealistic. If the Empress Dowager could go, why would she summon her?0

She could only agree, quickly change her clothes, and head to the Palace of Benevolent Peace.0

Upon arriving at the Palace of Benevolent Peace, she saw that Madam Mu was also there, with several plates of snacks laid out on the tea table.0

The Empress Dowager granted her a seat and explained, "Madam Mu is returning to Mingzhou tomorrow. She specially made some snacks by hand to express her gratitude to you. Please try them."0

So they were made by Madam Mu. Yanshu hurriedly expressed her thanks, "Thank you, Your Majesty. Madam Mu is too kind." She then sat down at the tea table.0

Glancing at the table, she had to admit that Madam Mu's culinary skills were quite impressive. The snacks were beautifully presented and looked exquisite.0

She tried a piece of mung bean cake. It melted in her mouth, sweet but not cloying, with a subtle hint of milk. It was truly delightful.0

As she was eating, she heard the Empress Dowager speak again, "By the way, I heard earlier that someone from the Zhuang family entered the palace? Could something have happened?"0

Yanshu: "..."0

Well, the Empress Dowager had finally gotten to the main point.0

But she could only feign surprise and say, "This concubine hasn't heard about this. Could it be that Old Master Zhuang's condition has worsened?"0

Empress Dowager: "..."0

Fine, this little girl was also playing dumb with her.0

The Empress Dowager then simply said, "I heard that Assistant Grand Tutor Zhuang actually has a legitimate wife and son. The woman and son he's had by his side all these years are actually his concubine and illegitimate child. So it turns out that the unfaithful man the storyteller spoke of that night was him."0

She then looked at Yanshu and said, "I wanted to ask, since you spend all day by His Majesty's side, do you know when His Majesty discovered something was amiss with the Zhuang family?"0

—After all, in the Empress Dowager's mind, the Carefree Young Master was an intelligence agency secretly arranged by the emperor. If the storybooks could corroborate reality, it must have been written at the emperor's command.0

Yanshu could only say, "This concubine is hearing about this for the first time as well. Please forgive this concubine's incompetence, His Majesty has never revealed anything about this to me."0

She then tried to cover for the emperor, saying, "His Majesty is wise and brilliant. It's not surprising that he would know about such information in advance."0

However, the Empress Dowager said, "That old Zhuang is not a current court official. His time in office was already several years ago. Why would His Majesty think to investigate him? And to investigate so accurately too. I haven't heard even a whisper about this all these years."0

Yanshu thought to herself, this is quite normal, the emperor probably only found out about it today...0

However, just as she was thinking this, she suddenly paused.0

—Would the emperor have this question now?0

After all, he knew that she had written the storybook. Now that the plot unexpectedly matched up with the Zhuang family's situation, would he wonder how she knew about this?0

Just then, she heard the system interject, [Hmm, you've finally realized this problem? You've already written several storybooks that coincide with reality, and you're only thinking about this now?]0

Yanshu: "..."0

Tsk, indeed, why hadn't she thought of this before?0

...Moreover, why had the emperor never asked her about this like the Empress Dowager had?0

She suddenly became frightened and hurriedly asked the system, [Could it be that he knows about you?]0

The system was very certain, [That's impossible. No one can discover me. But the emperor has probably long since realized that something is off about you.]0

Yanshu: [!!!]0

System: [But it's fine. Since he's allowed it for so long, you don't need to be afraid of anything.]0

Yanshu: "..."0

That may be true, but why hadn't the emperor ever asked her about it?0

Was he really that open-minded?0

System: [After all, he's the emperor. His perspective is different from others. Besides, doesn't he like you?]0

Yanshu: [...]0

Just because he likes her, he can calmly accept that she has abilities beyond normal people?0

...0

With this question in mind, Yanshu finished eating the pastries at the Palace of Benevolent Peace.0

On her way back to Ganlu Palace, she heard the system say, [The Zhuang family drama has reached a conclusion. The emperor, after clarifying the facts, flew into a rage. He convicted the Zhuang family's concubine and illegitimate children of deceiving the emperor, immediately sent them to prison, and awarded the old man's property to his original wife and legitimate son.]0

Yanshu: [What about the old man? He's the main culprit. He shouldn't be exempted just because he had a stroke, right?]0

System: [Exemption is impossible. The emperor has ordered the concubine to accompany him, and they've both been sent to prison. They'll serve at least three years for now.]0

Yanshu: "..."0

That concubine had it tough too. She had to serve an old dying man even in prison. She truly deserved it.0

However, although this outcome was satisfactory, the emperor's behavior was still too strange.0

She thought for a moment and decided that when she saw him tonight, she must ask for clarification.0

At night, Yuwen Lan returned to Ganlu Palace.0

His beauty had already bathed and was waiting for him on the couch.0

He was in a good mood and also undressed to join her on the couch.0

—Ahem, after obtaining that little booklet, it was as if a door to a new world had been opened. Exploring its pleasures with her every day had become the thing he looked forward to most.0

However, just as he embraced her and was about to kiss her, he heard her say, "This concubine heard the Empress Dowager say at the Palace of Benevolent Peace today that apparently that Assistant Grand Tutor Zhuang still has a legal wife and legitimate son back home. The ones he brought to the palace banquet that day were actually his concubine?"0

Yuwen Lan nodded, "That's correct. Today, the Vice Minister of Rites and the Chief Censor went to visit the Zhuang family and happened to witness them refusing entry to Zhuang's legitimate son. The two came to report to me, so I summoned his legitimate and illegitimate sons to the palace to clarify the situation..."0

At this point, he deliberately asked her, "Didn't you write all this in your storybook?"0

Yanshu paused, thinking to herself that he really wasn't surprised at all!0

It seems he must have determined that she had some special ability, right?0

System: [If he didn't think this way, wouldn't he be as foolish as you?]0

Yanshu: "..."0

Fine, she might as well ask directly, "Is Your Majesty not curious about how this concubine was able to write about the Zhuang family's story?"0

He nodded with a smile and looked at her, "I am curious. Why indeed?"0

Yanshu: "...If this concubine says it was a coincidence, would Your Majesty believe it?"0

Yuwen Lan continued to raise an eyebrow and look at her, "You tell me, should I believe it?"0

Yanshu: "..."0

Alright, he had indeed been pretending all along.0

And she was truly foolish.0

Since that was the case, she decided to be frank, "This concubine will tell you the truth. Actually, this concubine has a special ability to occasionally receive information about people's secrets."0

Yuwen Lan nodded, "Indeed, it is so. I had actually guessed this long ago. Otherwise, it would be inexplicable."0

His tone was remarkably calm.0

Yanshu frowned and said, "Is Your Majesty not afraid of this concubine? You don't think I'm some kind of monster?"0

Yuwen Lan raised an eyebrow, "Why would I be so cowardly? It's just a special ability, it's not like you're trying to assassinate me."0

As he spoke, he couldn't help but take her small hand and kiss it.0

Yanshu sighed, "Your Majesty truly has an extraordinary perspective."0

Tsk tsk tsk, knowing she had a special ability and still playing so passionately with her every day, he really had a big heart.0

Yuwen Lan: "..."0

What kind of talk was this? He simply loved her deeply...0

Hmm, holding her and talking for so long had already stirred his desires. He couldn't wait any longer and quickly lowered his head to kiss her.0

She responded quite enthusiastically.0

Yuwen Lan's heart was filled with passion. Just as he was about to take the next step, he heard her think to herself, [This is good. In the future, if I want to tell him something, I won't have to rack my brains. It will be even easier to make him take the blame!]0

Yuwen Lan: "???"0

Why, at such a moment, was she still thinking about making him take the blame???0

...0

That night, Yanshu discovered that someone was clearly much more passionate than usual.0

After the water play incident, the two had diligently practiced the techniques from the picture book for many days.0

Yanshu thought they had probably mastered it, but one morning when she woke up, she found that a certain relative had punctually come to visit her.0

"..."0

Although she lacked experience, she still had some basic common sense.0

Yanshu couldn't help but doubt - didn't her mother say that picture book was very effective? How come it didn't work?0

... Could it be that there was really something wrong with her body?0

Although she originally wasn't in a hurry about this matter, she couldn't resist the psychological suggestion from her mother.0

After hesitating for two days, Yanshu finally decided to call Imperial Physician Jiang to examine her.0

After Imperial Physician Jiang came and took her pulse for a long time, he frowned and said, "Your Highness's pulse is stable, and I can't see anything abnormal at the moment. Is there any discomfort?"0

Yanshu coughed and said, "Actually, there's no discomfort. It's just that I've been serving in the imperial bedchamber for some time now, but there's still no good news. So I wanted to ask you to check if there's any problem with my body?"0

Imperial Physician Jiang understood and couldn't help but smile, "Your Highness's body has no problems at all. Pregnancy is a matter of fate, it can't be rushed. The imperial heir didn't come this month, perhaps it will come next month. However, may I ask how long Your Highness has been serving in the imperial bedchamber?"0

Yanshu didn't dare say it had only been a month, but she heard Rendong answer for her from the side, "Her Highness was promoted to her position last December, it's been half a year now."0

— After all, Rendong was also naive and didn't know about the emperor's past affairs, so naturally she could only answer like this.0

Yanshu didn't feel it was right to correct her.0

But she saw Imperial Physician Jiang frown and say, "Half a year? That's indeed not a short time."0

Yanshu's heart tightened, and she hurriedly asked, "So is there something wrong?"0

But she heard him say, "I really can't see anything wrong with Your Highness. Perhaps, it would be better to have His Majesty checked as well."0

Yanshu: "..."0

What, have the emperor checked too?0

As expected of you, straightforward Imperial Physician Jiang. Who else would dare to say such a thing?0

But come to think of it, Yanshu secretly pondered, after all, the emperor had just recovered from his illness. Could there still be some issues?0

So she nodded first and said, "I understand. Thank you for your trouble coming here. However, it's best not to speak of today's matter to others for now."0

Fortunately, Imperial Physician Jiang was trustworthy but not foolish. He nodded in agreement and left with his medicine box.0

With this, Yanshu began to ponder in her heart whether she should ask the emperor to get checked as well.0

Although she wasn't in a hurry, surely he must be anxious, right? And if the illness hadn't fully healed and the problem persisted, wouldn't that be bad?0

...0

Thus, when night fell and she saw him again, she said, "This concubine summoned Imperial Physician Jiang today, intending to inquire about the matter of an imperial heir. Imperial Physician Jiang said that this concubine's body has no problems, perhaps it's just that the time hasn't come yet."0

Yuwen Lan also knew that her monthly visitor had arrived, and last month's efforts had not borne fruit. He nodded and said, "That's possible too. There's no need to be too anxious. It will come when it's meant to come."0

Saying this, he kissed her lips and was about to close his eyes to sleep.0

Ahem, during the long night, with such a beauty by his side but unable to do anything, heaven knows how tormented he was?0

So he could only quickly fall asleep, and wake up at dawn.0

However, he heard her say again, "But Imperial Physician Jiang said that even if the woman's body is fine, if the man's body has some illness, it could also delay having children... Your Majesty had been drinking medicine and couldn't engage in bedroom activities before, right? I wonder if that might have some impact?"0

Yuwen Lan paused.0

Surely not? Didn't he strictly follow medical advice and endure for a full twenty-one days at that time?0

That Dr. Jiang didn't say it wouldn't work after twenty-one days.0

But come to think of it, he hadn't seen the doctor again since then.0

So he didn't know how the situation really was...0

Just as he was thinking this, he heard her say again, "When Your Majesty has time, why not go see that doctor outside the palace again? If there's nothing wrong, that's best. If there's anything, treating it early would be good for welcoming an imperial heir soon."0

Yuwen Lan thought for a moment and then replied, "Alright. I'll go out and check tomorrow."0

As soon as he finished speaking, he saw her immediately lean over, giggling and saying, "Then can Your Majesty please take this concubine along?"0

Yuwen Lan raised an eyebrow, "Haven't you already seen the doctor?"0

Yanshu pouted, "It's rare to get a chance to go out of the palace. This concubine wants to get some fresh air."0

Yuwen Lan snorted a laugh, "You just went out to see a water show a few days ago, and now you want to go out again. Has your heart become so wild?"0

Yanshu thought to herself, there's food and entertainment and so many people outside, isn't it much more fun than the palace? Who wouldn't have a wild heart?0

But out loud, she only said, "It's not that this concubine's heart is wild, it's just that this concubine is worried about Your Majesty and wants to go along to listen, so I can be more at ease."0

Yuwen Lan snorted another laugh, pinched her chin, and said, "I hardly believe you."0

But he saw her immediately pout, saying, "Then even if Your Majesty doesn't believe me, shouldn't you at least reward this concubine for reporting so many corrupt officials and evil people to you?"0

Hmph, her novels were always more efficient than the Censorate and Imperial Guards, right?0

It's already good that she didn't charge him extra for intelligence fees.0

Yuwen Lan: "???"0

Intelligence fees?0

...0

But come to think of it, her special ability was indeed much more efficient than the Censorate and Imperial Guards.0

Otherwise, who would have known about those unethical things Old Master Zhuang had done?0

If he hadn't sent people to find his legitimate son, this matter might never have been made public even after Old Master Zhuang's death.0

Alright, considering how much she wanted to go, he said, "Then I'll take you along tomorrow."0

Yanshu's eyes lit up, and she finally smiled and quickly said okay.0

So the next evening, taking advantage of Imperial Physician Jiang's off-duty time, the two set off.0

They arrived at the Jiang residence, both still wearing veiled hats as they got off the carriage and entered Imperial Physician Jiang's study.0

But before they could speak, they saw another couple coming from outside.0

It was none other than Ankang county lord and her husband, County Magistrate Yao Junliang.0

— Although Ankang county lord was also wearing a veiled hat, County Magistrate Yao was openly showing his true face, so they immediately recognized the couple.0

At the same time, Yuwen Lan and Yanshu both couldn't help but feel grateful in their hearts that they had veiled hats covering their faces, otherwise wouldn't they have been recognized by this couple too?0

But... what were they here to see?0

Could it be that County Magistrate Yao hadn't fully recovered?0

That shouldn't be the case, right?0

Just as Yanshu was curious, she saw Yuwen Lan speak to the couple, "Please let Imperial Physician Jiang examine you two first."0

County Magistrate Yao smiled and thanked them, then helped his wife sit down in a chair and said to Imperial Physician Jiang, "Thank you for your miraculous skills, doctor. My wife has just discovered that she's pregnant, but she had unfortunately been poisoned before. We wonder if that might have any impact on the fetus?"0

Upon hearing this, both Yanshu and Yuwen Lan were surprised.0

So Ankang county lord was pregnant again!0

Tsk tsk tsk, Yanshu couldn't help but marvel in her heart, County Magistrate Yao's efficiency was indeed high! It hadn't been that long since he recovered, right?0

As expected of the third-ranked martial arts candidate, his aim was truly good!0

Yuwen Lan, who was silently listening on the side: "???"0

Was that implying that his aim wasn't good?0