My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melons

This melon is definitely one of the most ridiculous stories Yanshu has ever heard.

This Mr. Bao, the big rat, pretends to be poor at home with his wife, eating bran and swallowing vegetables, while secretly enjoying a lavish life of wine and meat outside???

She hurriedly asked the system again, "Does his wife know about this?"

The system replied, "Know about what? The lavish lifestyle? Of course not. Bao Qiwen's wife Madam Du is known to be a fierce tigress. If she knew about this, she would have chopped him up long ago."

Yanshu said, "I mean, does his wife know about him embezzling from the government and making ill-gotten gains?"

The system made an "oh" sound, "She knows about that. Not only does she know, but she's quite supportive of it. That's why she's willing to pretend to be poor with him. Otherwise, given his position as a government official with a decent annual salary, they shouldn't be this poor, right?"

But Yanshu was still confused and quickly asked, "If she knows, hasn't his wife wondered where all the money went? After all, that lavish lifestyle must cost quite a bit!"

The system sighed, "This man takes a small portion of the dirty money each month to give to his wife, and secretly keeps the majority for himself. Since it's a lot of money, even that small portion is quite substantial. Plus, Madam Du is just a housewife who hasn't had much education and doesn't know his real accounts, so she's never suspected him. She diligently pretends to be poor with him every day, just hoping that one day when they've made enough dirty money, they can leave the capital and enjoy life back home."

Yanshu: "..."

Well, it seems there's an issue of unfair distribution of spoils in the Bao household.

Of course, looking at it this way, Madam Du isn't innocent either. It's just that Mr. Bao is even more cunning.

Thinking of this, she suddenly couldn't help but smirk—

The system just said that Bao's wife is a tigress?

Tsk tsk tsk tsk, if she ever finds out about his lavish lifestyle one day...

Now that would be interesting!!!

After learning about the situation from the system, Yanshu said to her mother, "Father's right, it's good that Tianrui could hold back this time. After all, if there's something fishy going on, it's not something our family can change. But believe that bad people will always get their comeuppance, after all, heaven's net is wide-meshed, but lets nothing through!"

Ms. Zhu also nodded quickly, "Who says otherwise? Besides, the Emperor is wise and brilliant, he certainly won't tolerate such wicked deeds."

Yanshu made a sound of agreement. Perhaps because she was full from eating chive dumplings, drowsiness suddenly came over her, and she couldn't help but yawn.

Ms. Zhu said, "Your Highness, go get some sleep. At first, there's nothing else to do but eat when you want to eat and sleep when you want to sleep. You must not exhaust yourself. It will get better after this phase passes."

Yanshu nodded and instructed Rendong to also take her mother to rest, while she went to lie down on the couch.

Hmm, she had originally wanted to write a story, but unfortunately, her energy was really low, so she could only take it slow.

However, this matter wasn't urgent. After all, that Bao fellow hadn't just been embezzling for a day or two.

Why not take these few days to ponder it carefully? Maybe she could come up with something even more fun than writing a story, hehe.

So, Ms. Zhu stayed in the palace for two days.

Taking this opportunity, she not only made several hometown delicacies for her daughter but also instructed Rendong and Lianxin on some matters to pay attention to. She also took the chance to teach the imperial chefs how to make some of her daughter's favorite home-cooked dishes. On the third day, she bid farewell and left the palace.

As night fell, Yanshu welcomed the Emperor again.

For the past two days, Yuwen Lan hadn't been able to come over because Ms. Zhu was there. He had been missing his beloved consort terribly, so of course, he hurried over now to ease his longing.

When he arrived, he saw that Yanshu was in good spirits, and her little face seemed to have become rosier...

He finally felt somewhat relieved.

Taking advantage of the moment when no one else was around, he was just about to take his beloved consort into his arms and kiss her, but before his lips could touch hers, he heard Yanshu say to him, "Your subject just learned of something a couple of days ago and wishes to report it to Your Majesty."

Yuwen Lan said, "What is it?"

He then heard her say, "It turns out that Bao Qiwen, the Director of Studies at the Imperial Academy, has privately opened a paper-making workshop. He's using cheap hemp sand paper as a substitute for white hemp paper, and using his position at the Imperial Academy to replace all the paper used by students of the Imperial Academy and its affiliated academies with the inferior paper from his own workshop. He's also made all the stationery shops in the Exam Hall Street sell his paper. Over the years, this man has been making a fortune in secret, and he even built himself a place of indulgence by the Golden Bright Lake, where he goes to enjoy himself every few days."

What?

After hearing this, it took Yuwen Lan a moment to understand what she had said.

"Bao Qiwen, the Director of Studies at the Imperial Academy, is abusing his position for personal gain and harming students? And he even built a place of indulgence by the Golden Bright Lake?"

Yanshu quickly nodded, "That's exactly what I mean, Your Majesty."

Yuwen Lan frowned, "How could this be happening?"

How could the Imperial Censorate and the Imperial Guard in the court have failed to discover this?

Yanshu nodded again and said, "The information is reliable. His place of indulgence is built in Lihua Lane by the Golden Bright Lake, in the courtyard closest to the lake. There's a three-story pavilion inside that offers a full view of the Golden Bright Lake, truly a peerless vista. It's said that he spent ten thousand taels of silver to buy it. All from embezzling from the government."

Hearing this, Yuwen Lan could no longer sit still and was about to get up to call someone.

This was too infuriating!!!

What were those people in the Imperial Censorate doing???

However, before he could stand up, Yanshu pulled him back, saying, "Your Majesty, please wait. I actually have an idea."

She then whispered something in his ear.

After listening, Yuwen Lan frowned and said, "Isn't that too complicated?"

Yanshu indeed looked excited, "It may be complicated, but it will definitely be spectacular! Please, Your Majesty, please grant your subject's wish."

Yuwen Lan could only sigh, "Alright."

After speaking, he gently tapped her nose and snorted with a laugh, "You truly fear the world isn't chaotic enough."

Yanshu pouted, "Of course, the more chaotic it is for bad people, the better!"

After all, if things get more chaotic, wouldn't her stories sell even better?

The next morning.

In a seemingly ordinary civilian house in the city, the doorkeeper quickly walked into a room and said to Madam Du, Bao Qiwen's wife who was mending clothes, "Madam, someone outside is looking for the master."

To maintain their poor appearance, since coming to the capital, the Bao couple hadn't kept many servants. Apart from a doorkeeper who also did the sweeping, a handyman, and a coachman specifically for taking Bao Qiwen to his office every day, they had no other help.

Madam Du hadn't even dared to buy a maid, doing the cooking and laundry herself.

At this time, Bao Qiwen wasn't at home. Hearing what the doorkeeper said, Madam Du went to the door herself to check.

She saw a young man in his twenties, dressed in neat clothes that made him look like a clerk from some shop.

He was holding an exquisite wooden box in his hands, which seemed to contain something valuable.

However, considering that the couple had been pretending to be poor for so many years, they had never bought anything packaged so luxuriously.

Madam Du asked, "Who are you looking for?"

The man replied, "I'm an employee from the Phoenix Pavilion, here to see Master Bao Qiwen."

...

Phoenix Pavilion?

The doorkeeper quickly glanced at Madam Du and said, "Madam, isn't that the most famous jewelry shop in the capital?"

Madam Du of course knew this, which made her even more curious. She asked again, "What business do you have with my husband?"

The man smiled and said, "A few days ago, Master Bao ordered a custom-made pure gold plum blossom hairpin with multiple jewels from our shop. It was finally completed yesterday, but Master Bao didn't come to collect it. Since this hairpin is extremely valuable, our manager was worried about keeping it in the shop and instructed me to deliver it to Master Bao immediately. Is Master Bao at home?"

What?

A pure gold plum blossom hairpin with multiple jewels?

Madam Du was stunned. This item sounded incredibly expensive. What did Bao Qiwen buy this for?

She tried asking, "This must have cost quite a bit, right?"

The clerk from the Phoenix Pavilion smiled and said, "Indeed, it's not cheap. This hairpin is made of pure gold and uses over thirty natural rubies. The cost of materials alone is three thousand taels of silver. Our manager, considering Master Bao is a regular customer, only charged a small fee for craftsmanship."

What?

Three thousand taels of silver!

Upon hearing this, the doorkeeper was so shocked her mouth fell open.

Madam Du swayed, almost falling to the ground.

That Bao Qiwen! How dare he spend three thousand taels of silver on a hairpin???

You should know that for all these years, she had been pretending to be poor and hadn't even worn accessories worth more than ten taels of silver!!!

And this shop assistant even said that Bao Qiwen was a regular customer???

That scoundrel! Who did he give this hairpin and all those past ones to!!!

Madam Du's anger instantly shot up to the sky, but in front of strangers, she could only try her best to suppress it and said, "I am Mrs. Bao. Our master is not here today, so please give the hairpin to me."

As she reached out to take it, the shop assistant unexpectedly refused, saying, "Mr. Bao specifically instructed that this item must be handed to him personally. Since he's not here, I'll come back another day."

With that, he quickly ran off with the box and soon disappeared.

The entrance returned to calm, but Madam Du could no longer find peace.

Her mind kept wondering if Bao Qiwen had been doing something behind her back all these years.

Otherwise, why would he buy this hairpin?

Of course, she couldn't help but fantasize a little - could it be that her husband saw how hard she had been working and wanted to surprise her with a piece of jewelry?

...

All sorts of possibilities floated in Madam Du's mind, but as two or three days passed and Bao Qiwen didn't mention a word about the hairpin, she finally came to her senses.

So, one day when Bao Qiwen went out again, she steeled her heart and hired a carriage to follow him.

...

After coming up with the idea, Yanshu waited for three days in the palace before finally hearing news from the system.

[Heads up, Bao Qiwen's wife followed him for a day and just discovered the den of iniquity by the Golden Bright Pool.]

Yanshu: [!!!]

At that moment, she was having dinner with Yuwen Lan. Upon hearing this, she could no longer focus on her food and immediately asked, [What's the situation? Did they have a catfight?]

System: [There's no need for a catfight. Madam Du has absolute crushing power! After going in and finding her stingy husband stark naked and embracing a beauty while dancing, she immediately started beating him up, thrashing Bao Qiwen until he had nowhere to escape.]

Yanshu could only sigh, "Good grief!" Indeed, being stark naked doesn't leave much room for escape!

But come to think of it, how dare this Bao fellow play such a dangerous game???

To actually be stark! naked!

Ugh... just thinking about it burns the eyes!!!

Yuwen Lan, who was listening on the side: "???"

Stark naked???

That Bao fellow???

Fortunately, Yanshu didn't...

plan on keeping this juicy gossip to herself. After all, such interesting matters are even more fun when shared. So, she quickly dismissed everyone around and excitedly said to Yuwen Lan, "Your Majesty, I just received news that our plan has worked! Bao Qiwen was caught red-handed fooling around outside today by his wife. Right now, his wife has stormed into that den of iniquity and is beating him up all over the place, hahaha!"

Yuwen Lan: "..."

Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk.

Ahem, although he was the emperor, apart from this sound, he really couldn't think of how else to express his feelings at the moment.

However, seeing her laugh so hard that she was doubling over, he became a bit worried. Would laughing so intensely be bad for the baby?

But at this moment, how could Yanshu care about anything else?

Listening to the system's live broadcast, even if she wanted to stop, she couldn't!

Tsk tsk tsk, just imagining the scene of Bao Qiwen being beaten by his wife, wailing and scrambling around, was enough to make one die of laughter!

But just then, the system said, [Alright, there happened to be roast lamb there today. Madam Du grabbed the knife for cutting lamb meat and cut off his thing.]

Yanshu: [!!!]

Madam Du was actually this fierce!!!

What didn't happen to the Princess back then actually happened now!!!

Tsk, but thinking about it, it makes sense. With nothing in the way, cutting it off would be quite convenient.