My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

Jiang Jinyan ended up renting a hotel room closest to the airport. As soon as the door closed behind them, he instantly pressed Shi Nian against the wall, cutting off the words that she was preparing to say. "Wait...Jinyan—hmm!" His lips crashed onto hers like a thunderstorm, fierce and powerful, carrying with it the cold droplets of rain and the man's familiar cologne. Shi Nian grabbed onto his shoulders tightly, her eyes gradually fluttered shut from the onslaught of his passion. 

These two months, it wasn't only her who missed the other, who checked the calendar every single day and wished that time would go faster.

Jiang Jinyan tugged her closer by hips, their bodies pressed flush against each other. Shi Nian gasped and the man slid his tongue in, rubbing and teasing, eliciting a sweet hum from her throat. Wet, squelching sounds echoed out embarrassingly through the dance of their tongues and their rapid breaths melted into one, warm and steamy. The sensor light above their heads turned off abruptly, plunging the room into utter darkness.

"Jinyan, wait…" Shi Nian breathed heavily, her eyes shone with a layer of tears. "This...is the hallway…"

Instead of pulling away, Jiang Jinyan peppered kisses on her face all over; her eyes, nose, cheeks and forehead. Flush spread across Shi Nian's cheeks down to her neck. She had never known that being the recipient of someone's ardor could make her feel so blissful. Moreover, this wasn't just anyone. This was Jiang Jinyan and the mere thought of how the man yearned for her as much as she did filled Shi Nian with giddiness to the point where her chest almost exploded.

Jiang Jinyan pressed his forehead against hers, his dark eyes glowed amidst the hot breaths puffing out of their lips. "Sorry, I can't help myself."

Shi Nian's breath hitched in her throat. That gaze...it wasn't the eyes that the twenty-one-years-old Jiang Jinyan could have. Those were the eyes of the man who had seen too much, who was used to savagery and cruelty of the world, yet still managed to retain its pureness and serenity. It was General Jiang Jinyan's eyes. Shivers ran down Shi Nian's spine and she covered his eyes, choking out. "Don't look at me with that kind of gaze…"

General Jiang had been and always would be Shi Nian's spiritual support, hero, mentor, the moon that she could only admire but not touch. However now, not only could Shi Nian touch him, she could also stand at the same level as him, doing all sorts of stuff just like...the French kiss they had just done…

Just thinking about that was enough to deal a huge mental damage to her. It was as if she had done something wrong by sullying someone that should have been divine.

Jiang Jinyan pulled her hand down and chuckled, kissing her knuckles one by one. "What's wrong? Still not used to it? I have said it before. I am Jiang Jinyan, and the fact has never changed no matter whether it was the past or now." 

"I know…" Shi Nian grumbled. But still, could someone get used to this kind of thing? Sometimes, Shi Nian even got the urge to pay respect to Jiang Jinyan like how she always did in their past lives.

As if understanding her dilemma, he pulled away and patted her head with a helpless and indulgent look on his face. Then he walked in and flicked the switch on, looking around. "Hmm, it's quite a nice room. Fortunately, the hotel isn't fully booked yet."

Shi Nian stared at his back and gingerly followed him in. Did he… get angry? No, judging from Jiang Jinyan's temperament, he wouldn't get angry just because of this. He wouldn't force Shi Nian to do anything either. So...was he disappointed? Afterall, this was their long awaited meeting after two months. As a girlfriend, Shi Nian should have acted more accommodating...right?

They had been in a relationship for almost two years. Before Jiang Jinyan regained the memory of his past life, Shi Nian had no problem in approaching him or interacting with him. But ever since he did, she vividly sensed a kind of awkwardness, a thin line she couldn't pass no matter what. It might be because their master-servant relationship had always been at the back of her mind and now that Jiang Jinyan remembered everything, she couldn't accept treating him in a casual manner like she did before. And as a result, Shi Nian was always hesitant whenever Jiang Jinyan wanted to take their relationship to the next level.

Jiang Jinyan was kind so he never brought it up but...Shi Nian gradually felt guilty about it. The man had always been caring and patient so wasn't there anything Shi Nian could do to erase the distance between them?

"Shi Nian." Jiang Jinyan's call snapped Shi Nian out of her reverie and she lifted her head to see Jiang Jinyan coming out of the bathroom. "What are you thinking about? The hot water is ready. You should hop in first."

Shi Nian refused immediately. "No, no, you should do it first. On our way here, you covered for me so you're even more drenched than me." 

"No. You have been in those wet clothes for a while. You should go first otherwise you will catch a cold."

"No! It's you who should go first!"

The two engaged in a silent staring war, none showed the intention of backing down. Eventually, Jiang Jinyan gave up. Heaving a helpless sigh, he took the towel from the closet. "I will finish as soon as possible."

Realization struck Shi Nian suddenly and she shot up standing. What had she done? Hadn't she just told herself that she should try her best to close the distance between them? Acting like this... wouldn't it just make Jiang Jinyan more disheartened instead?!

"Or…" Shi Nian blurted out. "Should we go in together?"

Jiang Jinyan froze. "...What?"

O-oh. Shi Nian covered her mouth, blushing furiously. "No, I don't mean it. Err… It's true that it has been my intention to—no, wait, how should I say it…" Shi Nian knocked on her head. The more she forced herself to explain, the more she couldn't seem to form any coherent sentence.

"It's okay, Shi Nian. Calm down." Jiang Jinyan turned back and held her shoulders. His voice cut through the fog of her mind, gentle and firm. "I understand. Don't worry. I won't force you to do anything you don't want." He gave her a comforting smile and stroked the bridge of her nose. "I will be quick."

No… Shi Nian stared at his back, lips pressed tight in frustration. It wasn't like that. She didn't not want it. In fact, she also wished to get closer to him. It wasn't enough just with affectionate kisses and gentle hugs, she also desired to be burned in the flame that was his passion and fondness. She wished to be closer, not only spiritually but physically as well…

Shi Nian clenched her fists tight, eyes shone in determination. Inhaling deeply, she grabbed another towel and marched to the bathroom. The sound of water running came from inside and warm mists floated out from the gaps under the door. Shi Nian gulped and raised her hand to knock. "J—Jinyan! You left the shampoo outside. Can you open the door a bit so I can pass it to you?"

"Huh?" Jiang Jinyan's voice echoed out, tinged with confusion. "The shampoo is outside?" Click. The door opened a bit and his hand stretched out, dripping and glistening with water. "Sorry about that. Here, give me—"

Shi Nian pushed the door open wider and barged her way in.. With her face as red as a tomato, she stuttered. "I—I changed my mind! I—I also want to shower right now!"