My Mother Has a System but Won't Use It

129  Smoking head.

"Oh…!!!" Yue Li exclaimed. "What is that?"

"You will see when we reach there, and Mom, can I tell you something now that we are having this heart-to-heart and all."

"Hmm, tell, tell."

Han Li was silent for a second and then said, "I have already told you this before, but I will tell you this once more. Don't box in your thoughts to things in a limit of 'Evil' and 'Righteous' so much."

"Uh… what do you mean?" Han Li pushed aside the grass and, without leaving marks of his passage by doing something rash, like cutting off the branches before him, moved forward.

"Not only you, but Liyue also has this issue, you see," he said, "But she is a girl who has a knack for learning things by herself after some bit of leading, so I had never told her this, but you are not like that. You are a little dumb animal who only knows what is in front of you."

"I am not that dumb!"

"Continue being delusional, then."

Yue Li was irritated, but she knew her son had labeled her dumb years ago, and unless some miracle happened, that wouldn't change. "So what are you saying anyway? I could, at least, try to learn."

"You see, calling something Evil or Righteous is stupid. There can never be such light and darkness so simply. Let me ask you a question now: if a savior has to kill a single infant in order to save a million people, what is the right thing to do then?"

Yue Li grew thoughtful.

"In fact, the choice I mentioned might seem wild and so far from you now, but reality is like that in almost everything. I won't really say moral virtues are meaningless, Mom, since I would find it harsh if you or Liyue became a Demon who has no morality. But in the end, there is a fine line of understanding that most people lack."

"That is?"

"The righteous code of conduct was built by thousands of years of understanding and comprehending civilization. You could say it is a way of conformist thinking that makes you want to do what others think you will do."

"I don't get it."

"I mean the process by which people change their beliefs, attitudes, actions, or perceptions to more closely match those held by groups to which they belong or want to belong or by groups whose approval they desire. Honestly speaking, our little Liyue is a great example.

"She is a nice person, a very good, loving, and righteous girl. But she loves me a lot and loves the family we have built just as much. What do you think she would become if I was a demonic and uncaring husband who would only care about her if she also became like me, a demon who murders others?"

Yue Li swallowed a wad of saliva. "In fact, Mom, what would you have done if I would only love you if you killed others?"

A long silence passed as they left behind one tree after the other.

"If you would only love me if I did that…" Yue Li's hand trembled slightly. "I don't want to think about it."

"It's alright, don't think about it since I don't want you to go kill someone. But you see the core point: you want to be accepted by me, and thus, you willingly consider your options rationally—they are to either be demonic like I want you to be or forget about me."

Yue Li nodded; she could see he was leading her somewhere.

"Just like that, all living things are thrown an option as they age: righteousness and demonism. But this time, it is not to be accepted by their lover but to be accepted by something far more gigantic, something almost fundamental to their existence—the world itself as they see it.

"And that is, Mom, to be accepted by the society itself where we live. If we choose Righteousness, society will accept us; it will embrace us like its child that we are, but if not? It will hate us; it will be our enemy. Our mind handles it perfectly; just like all the others, we will come to think of things as 'good' and 'bad' based on what society tells us. And more often than not, the highest powers decide what the society even thinks. So, we choose what is 'good' and 'bad' based on that higher power's wishes."

Yue Li held his hand tightly. n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

"Just think of it, Mom: all around the world, people would think that our relationship is weird and uncanny—something that shouldn't be. But why? What if the rules, the higher-ups that created the rules that people are said to follow, told that the rules had changed and now such familial relations are a must, and that is what is righteous to do?"

Han Li mocked, "You would see far too many like us, if not in love, in lust. The news would change the world in two days at most. But since the higher power says it is bad, everyone thinks it is weird; you also think it is weird; you are wired that way from the start because you had chosen, or in other words, it had been branded into you, that belonging to society is your purpose in life from the start."

"Branded?" Yue Li asked softly.

"That is simple—even you had told me to be a good boy a thousand times, to act according to the goodness of society, have you not? All of us are grown that way, and the option of demonic beliefs isn't even a consideration in the whole scheme of things. From the start, people are slaves to the thoughts of society."

Yue Li sighed. "I really am having a hard time picturing your ideas. I can feel there is something profound about what you are saying, but I keep missing it."

Han Li chuckled. "Maybe someday you might understand. Anyway, whatever may happen in the future and whatever you may become, Mom, just know that your son will be here for you. Even if you are the worst of demons or the most righteous of saints, I will be there; never think you are not what I came to love, no matter what you may become as years pass."

Yue Li smiled. "What? You do know to be nice at times, don't you? Be like that all the time, and stop teasing me like you do. I know you think I am beautiful even when you say something looks ugly anyway; might as well be straightforward."

Han Li sighed.

"All those meaningful things said to a monkey would only be like throwing it a banana. What a dumbass. All of it went over your head, didn't it?"

Yue Li coughed. "No issue, this buddha has learned her lesson."

Han Li's eyes twitched.