Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

11. Her Resolve to Live

Frost needed to take all the necessary precautions before she ventured out from their little camp site. A few hours had already passed since she first awakened in this forest, and a day on top if she counted the time while she was unconscious.

Satiation was currently not a problem. Although, she was beginning to feel quite hungry again. Her gown and coat on the other hand were completely ruined and left her exposed to the elements.

Now that she had a good look at herself, she realized that her body was thankfully still that of a… female human through and through aside from certain things, like her inability to excrete waste and her ravenous hunger.

I should probably cover up with something soon.

She was hungry again. The hunger prodded at her as she took one of the stakes as a weapon. It was incredibly rigid, and the sharpened tip easily jabbed into the bark of the black tree that had tried to hang Jury earlier.

Strangely, the tree was not considered a living creature. But when she stabbed the tree repeatedly to test out the strength of the pale stake, a black liquid oozed out like blood from its wound.

“[Appraise Object].”

< Level too low >

< Level too low >

< Level too low >

She tried to appraise three different things. The first was the blood of the tree, the second the stake and the final one being the heap of feathers. Unfortunately, this place was a high-leveled area. It made sense that her measly 8 levels in Appraise Object wouldn’t cut it.

But she didn’t need it to understand that the feathers were of great value.

“It’s metallic. Just shy of being made of metal entirely. Just like that thing’s coat.” Frost murmured to herself as she ran her fingers through one of the feathers.

Clothing made from these would certainly provide incredible protection. It was also similar to the material of Jury’s tattered clothing. When she ran the feather against another feather, they easily interlocked like chainmail.

“The denizens of the forest are going to be moving soon with the bird gone.” The System warned.

“All the more reason to prepare. Jury’s strong. But I don’t want her to get hurt because of me again.” Frost yearned to strengthen herself knowing now that she had the insane ability to consume the power of those she devoured.

She had yet to test it out. But anyone with enough common sense could understand why such a thing would be considered a ‘broken’ ability. It would also half-explain her unnatural hunger.

Frost eventually dipped her finger into the black blood. As expected, it was similar to resin. Perhaps it wasn’t blood at all, but the iron scent made her believe otherwise. She had an idea on how to get these feathers attached onto her.

Firstly, she wanted to see how these were attached onto Jury to confirm her methods.

“Hold still for me Jury. I’m just going to touch your waist, if that’s alright?”

“Forest?”

“Dammit… why the hell do I feel so guilty?” She sighed, carefully running a hand into the feathers by Jury’s waist.

As expected, they weren’t woven together like clothing at all. Rather, they were glued on. Jury twisted herself slightly, almost laughing to the ticklish sensation before she also suddenly ran a hand onto Frost’s exposed stomach in return.

“A-ah!?” She shivered with a voice unlike her, instantly causing her to clamp her mouth shut with slight embarrassment. “… I guess I deserved that. What do you think System? I have virtually no defense against whatever’s out there.”

“Do or die, I say. Neither of us wish to disappear. We both fear what may happen if your HP hits 0 again. I believe that was your resolve.”

“Exactly… getting them off after they’re glued on will be painful, but… w-what’s a little pain if we get a better chance of surviving.” Frost reasoned with not just the System, but with herself. She understood the agony she would have to go through again, but her resolve to live far outweighed it.

In the end, she dabbed her forearms with the strange resin and attached the feathers one by one. From her knowledge it can take up to 24-48 hours for it to sit, but this bonded almost instantly. She tried peeling one of the set-feathers and winced at how much of her skin would be taken with it.

She took a deep breath and steeled herself again, clenching her fists as a surge of emotion hit her.

“… I want to survive. I want to live. I don’t want… to feel that pain again. Isn’t it funny? This will hurt as well… Haaaah. Judgement. I wonder how much I can trust anyone from the Nexus.” Frost’s voice became shaky as she looked down at her fists.

“The Arbiter who granted you the mark is likely on your side. You were not supposed to be here to begin with.”

“I know. I fucking know. But how can I not doubt them? Shit… If only I had shut up and went along with those triplets. But they also told me to trust the Moons and the Stars more than anyone… Fuck…” These emotions ravaged her heart.

She felt light-headed. The world seemingly disappeared for a moment before Jury’s voice brought her back.

“Forest?”

“Ah… I’m fine. Sorry for making you worry.” Frost smiled fondly at her, assuring the woman that nothing was wrong. “Let’s mark this place with the other stakes. We’ll leave as soon as I get these feathers on. Tch.”

And as she layered the feathers across the vulnerable parts of her body, she uttered in a hideously low whisper.

“Iscario… I promise that as long as I’m still alive I won’t let anything go your way.”

* * *

There were three of them now.

The lone woman who was originally a man from a different world, a creature-like woman who could only speak certain words, and finally the cold, monotone voice in their heads.

Frost saw themselves as a party like in some kind of RPG game that unfortunately wandered into a high-end area. But she would be lying if she said she wasn’t afraid.

Frost was still human after all. A human who was now half-covered in a coat of black feathers. Thankfully, it appeared closely to that of clothing rather than feathers growing from her body. As uncomfortable as it was, it did indeed increase her ATT DEF stat.

< ATT DEF : 0 (+60) >

Additionally, the stake provided a significant boost to her ATT.

< ATT : 5 (+35) >

The Black Forest saw no major changes in elevation. It was one relatively flat plane of existence. Her description of it being a purgatory was entirely correct as there was nothing here save for the repetitive black trees and the occasional flock of crawling crows.

A flock of around a dozen scuttled in front of them, pausing suddenly when they were near enough. Their lifeless eyes only stared up at them. It was odd. Uncanny even. Frost thought they had frozen solid, but she could see tiny, feathered chests expand as they took silent, steady breaths.

It confused Frost as to why they crawled rather than flew. Could they not fly? She didn’t know. The One Thousand Eyed Bird was weird enough, so this was hardly anything in comparison.

Frost was still wary of them, but judging from the way Jury looked at them with overt hunger, she figured these were weak creatures. Still, she needed to make sure.

Status.

Since awakening as the Amalgam, Frost has been able to see the names of the Corrupted.

“These are Corrupted as well, I’m guessing?”

“So it appears.”

“And they have a new origin. Trauma… originated from what? Intense emotion –?”

“Skewer!” Jury exclaimed, and just as Frost was about to finish speaking, the woman instantly skewered two of the birds onto her claw like a meat on a stick. “Forest skewer!”

She was fast. Absurdly fast. It felt like a gust of wind has passed by as she lunged towards them, skewering them one by one as she snagged them into her sharpened maw.

“I-I hardly even saw her move…” Frost was left awestruck at her speed.

Her 30 AGI made her abnormally fast.

The birds did not flee. They only watched on as if accepting their fate. Seeing the animalistic way that Jury devoured the birds caused her stomach to turn. And yet she was not disgusted.

Rather, it whetted her monstrous appetite.

Jury offered one of the skewered birds to Frost, its lifeless eyes staring passively into her soul. Having it so close almost caused an unreasonable urge to just bite into it, but she resisted the temptation and instead, carefully tugged it from Jury’s claw.

… I don’t have to eat it. I can try cooking it, but I’d be an idiot to attract the other denizens of this forest. Jury looks so pleased eating it.

A bite wouldn’t hurt… Right?

Frost sunk down at the side of the tree with the bird caressed like a child in her arms. It took more than just resolve to eat the carcass of a creature. No. Far more than that. She needed to sacrifice a piece of her humanity to commit to it.

She was human. Frost repeatedly reiterated that she was a human until she extended its wings out and took a small nibble against her will.

“I’m sorry.” To whom this apology was remained a mystery even to herself. She was compelled to say it; as a person who had professionally lived to help others.

Once her teeth sunk into its wings, she instantly found herself unable to stop. The feathers. The bones. Everything was easily crushed by her jaws. Nothing, not even the near metallic feathers, could resist.

Frost teared up during the process, her human instincts causing her to gag as her nature as the Amalgam gobbled it down. She had to wonder how much truth there was to her being a monster.

In the end she was left sickened at the act. But sated. So terrifyingly sated that she could not help but to daze off into the darkness in an attempt to drown out what she had just done.

However, no matter what Frost was, she was more human that whatever Iscario was.

She was absolutely sure of it.

< Stats from the Witness Gained >

< Unique Ability Gained >

< ABILITY : The Witness >

< See what they all see >

In that instant, the darkness somehow seemed a little brighter than before. No. Rather than brighter, she could now see the silhouettes of other creatures roaming the Black Forest among the tree lines.

“You can see what exactly?”

“[C-Cure Disease]…” Frost ignored the System.

< There is no illness to cure >

< You did what you must >

< Is nature not the law of eat or be eaten? >

< Please respond, Frost >

“… I’m sorry. I was just letting it digest. All of it. In here and up there. System. There’s a lot of monsters in this Forest. None are like Jury, or even the younger version. They’re all feathered birds of some sort. But they don’t seem to be capable of flight.” Frost spoke rapidly to distract herself, shaking her head right after. “Tell me. Do you think I should eat them all?”

“Do you think it is possible?”

“Possible, yes. Viable? Absolutely. Difficulty… humanity lost.” Frost joked to herself, nearly breaking into a laugh.

“Did you break?”

“No. Not at all. I’m just trying to jog my spirits up. I hate being drab; like I’m being dragged around by chains, even if its completely out of my own control. But you have to find some sort of comfort in the toughest times. It was my job to deliver that back in my world. Here I only have you two right now. I haven’t known you two for more than a day but at least I can trust you guys.”

“A voice like myself is your comfort?”

“Forest?”

“A lot better than talking to myself. I think I absolutely would have broken down if I was here alone. You might think I’m taking this on the chin well but to tell you the truth, I’m on the edge of my heart right now.

I turned into a girl, was transported to a different world, then was stabbed, killed, betrayed, and somehow turned into a monster that can eat anything. I even watched a whole village get executed… System. I want to get stronger… so none of this has to happen again.”

Frost said, reaching out to motherly touch Jury’s head. This caused her to inch closer, as if begging for more of the blissful sensation.

“And if it costs me my humanity, then I’ll do it knowing that I’ll still be more of a human than that thing. I despise having to eat, but it’s my best shot forward. I just want to know one last thing. Can I trust the Nexus at all?” She needed to ask once more.

“From your experience alone, it would be difficult to. However, Iscario was attacked as a result of being suspected of meddling with you, no?” The System reminded her of the injury Iscario presented with.

“Raoul suspected him to begin with. He used something called Infusion S to reach me. What was that?”

“The technology of one of the Beholders. It apparently grants immense but temporary power at a significant cost. He had lost his eye to utilize its power. The S stands for ‘speed’.”

“Speed huh... was my death really worth it? Hah. Well, he fucked up. I’m still alive. On their end I’m probably dead since I received the death message. And as long as I’m still alive, I’m going to have to keep biting things. Jury.”

“Forest!”

“Let’s go eat to our stomach’s content, and to my heart’s discontent. And when we get out of here, let me make you some real food. It’s a promise.”

“Big skewer!”

Frost finally rose to her feet. She vowed to never allow herself to crumble as she did again. Because if she wanted to get out of here – then she needed to consume. Without strength there was no feasible way of fighting the One Thousand Eyed Bird, and in the first place, she did not know how to enact judgement.

Until then –

– Frost set her sights to the denizens of the forest, who would soon become the denizens of her iron stomach.