Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

51. The Meaning of Salvation

The Wandering Healer asked her of only three things.

To not intervene.

To not speak.

And to never avert her eyes.

Frost didn’t make any promises. It was suspicious enough with how the others reacted, including Via who watched on with solemn eyes. There was no telling what this woman meant by ‘salvation’… no. How could she not know?

It was death. Salvation in the form of death.

Frost was the only one who opposed this. Everyone else urged her to stay put and to allow the Wandering Healer to do her job. Like this was normal… Even the cat-eared girl seemed unfazed by this all. Rather, she was accepting of it.

“… I had fun while I could… but in the end, I think… Um… There is nothing here else for me… I think…” She didn’t know what else to say. There were no words of comfort that Frost could weave. The development confused her. The girl was just smiling earlier… so why…

No. Again, Frost was seeking for excuses. Of all the patients Frost had cared for – none were as beaten down as these people. Their lives were so full of grief that even after reaching happiness they would rather just… die.

Frost groaned to the thought.

“300 slaves used to be here yesterday. 150 were laid to sleep by my own hands. We of all people should know that there are things that not even our most potent magic can heal.” She spoke from decades worth of experience. “Frost. I will inoculate them all save for this one. Worry not for the inoculation. It is merely to mark them as ready for collection.” D-13 led them all towards a small, grassy patch not too far away from the Guild.

The inoculation was apparently a screening drug that marked them for Atelier collection. Scarlet Logic personnel were responsible for collecting tragic souls such as slaves, survivors, and missing people for the purposes of inducting them into an Atelier. Not of their choosing, of course.

This meant that they had a life ahead of them. One spent under the wings of an Atelier of the Nexus. Not as blessed unfortunately. Either way, the promised life was far better than what they had now, let alone what they had prior.

Slaves saw the highest rates of inoculation and these people usually ended up in high-ranking positions as a result of their past experiences. However, these past experiences were like an anchor for others. A blockade that completely starved them of their light, plunging them into the darkness of despair.

Not everyone was strong enough to move forward. What the scale measured was one’s resolve. Their determination. Their light. Her feathers ruffled when Vellin gave this explanation. This meant that the girl had little to no reason to live.

She placed the sleeping Jury by the staircase and joined the others with a conflicted heart. For now, Frost decided to watch on. But again, she made no promises on standing idly by. She may even have to fight these two just to keep the girl alive depending on how things went…

… what’s right and wrong anymore in this situation? It’s like the debate of euthanasia.

“Do you believe that those who suffer should be granted death when asked?”

I always want to think that there’s another way. Nav… you really hit a sore spot.

This was Frost’s firm belief, but it was not like she couldn’t understand the other side. Still, she had her own, cemented stance. Otherwise – what the hell had she been doing for the last few years in her profession?

She gulped and watched intently from the side. The other women gathered around her like guards, each with a hand partially raised, ready to grab her in case she went off and did something unwarranted.

In the end, I’m the abnormal one for giving a single fucking damn.

D-13 further explained the inoculation process after asking the 6 slaves to kneel in a line. They assumed a prayer-like position before her. The ripe apples of the oak tree just behind shook to the breeze as she slowly knelt towards the first woman on the left.

The inoculation process was harmless and saw a 100% success rate. However, this was only true for 5 of these slaves. The cat-girl had a different process prepared underneath silken robes of D-13.

She drew her metal claw forward to the nape of the first slave. The blue fluid bubbled as thick needle protruded out like a stinger, and with one swift movement.

“Agh… A… Hngh!?”

The woman’s body went limp. It happened before she could even spare the time to fear the inevitable jab. The fluid poured straight into her throat. Frost didn’t even think it was being administered into a blood vessel at all.

“Administering 5mg of Serum I. May you find your place in an Atelier.”

The slave then collapsed on her side. Thankful, she was still breathing. Her HP hadn’t changed the slightest either. Frost didn’t know what to make of this, but it didn’t seem as bad as she initially thought.

Serum I. I standing for inoculation, I assume?

“You are correct.”

“The Serums are what we healers and many of Inflow Direct possess. The potions are for the world to use, and the Infusions are reserved for those high above us. 5mg of Serum I administered.” D-13 explained, allowing all to hear as she swiftly injected the second slave.

It would become common knowledge in the end anyway. It partially made sense as to why Via was allowed to hear this. She was essentially like them, a tortured soul saved by this woman. But she wouldn’t be sent off to an Atelier. She had rejected this offer long ago.

The two quickly dropped unconscious. Vellin moved in and gently placed them aside on a warm sheet of cloth. He was a rather kind soul despite how he looked.

“Their technology allows us to convert magic into a liquid form. The weakest become potions. The powerful become Serums. And the most potent become Infusions. 5mg of Serum I administered.”

The blue liquid cycled from a place somewhere underneath her robes as she moved to the fourth slave.

“Imagine me doing this 300 times. There was a collection here a day prior. You may have wondered why this town was as barren as it was. The Collectors of Scarlet Logic scooped them up and promise to bring them to Brandar for Atelier acquisition. 5mg of Serum I administered.”

What exactly are the Collectors?

“Scarlet Logic personnel responsible for collecting people for Atelier use as she said. It is but one avenue for recruitment. They form what is called the general pool. From there it is unknown how the Ateliers then integrate them. Or test their aptitude.”

The woman then injected the fifth slave.

“They will undergo Atelier composition. My friends, I hope you will find your place there. I hope you will find your own flock to fly with. 5mg of Serum I administered…”

Frost did not dismiss these as random ramblings. Every spoken word was etched into her mind. This woman was beyond wise… but she was quite twisted.

“And now, little one~ What do you wish to see~?” She hummed this time as she positioned herself before the cat-eared girl.

The tubes flushed blank until a golden, near glowing fluid replaced it. It swirled beautifully through her artificial veins as she stared deeply into the girl’s eyes like a motherly figure.

The girl looked startled for a moment as she tried to think. She tightly clutched the imageless object in the pocket of her dress. Then, she gazed up at the starless night and spoke in a quiet, longing voice.

“The moon… the stars… and… my family.”

“Then I shall show you them.” D-13 promised before unapologetically sticking the needle straight into her nape. “Administering 5,000g of Serum S.”

The girl instantly locked up.

“You will meet them soon child~ Salvation comes in two hands. The first is the one that offers us a meaning in life, and the second is the one that offers the reason to leave it. Both are interchangeable curses. One’s meaning in life can be one’s despair. And one’s reason to perish can be one’s hope to live. Will you bite back at the hands that seek to clip your wings?”

D-13 spoke as if reciting sacred scripture. The poor girl trembled. Her quivering quickly ramped up to a near seizure-like state as the woman continued to recite:

“You wished to see the stars, but it is already past the stargazing season. My condolences. Farewell, oh nameless Demi-human.”

“He… hello…” The girl hideously gargled. “It’s good… to see you… again…”

Cat-eared Girl | HP: 80 | 100

Her HP was draining. Rapidly too. Frost was about to intervene until suddenly –

< “I’m so very alone underneath the night sky.” >

She heard the girl’s inner voice somehow. Frost darted her eyes around but saw no signs of a Corrupted anywhere. Neither could Nav confirm the presence of one. She could not understand what was happening anymore… except that this voice undoubtably belonged to the girl.

“I’m surrounded by them all…” She gargled again before her face swelled up. Congealed blood began to ooze from every orifice as she continued to stare up into the starless sky.

Cat-eared Girl | HP: 65 | 100

< “I don’t want to be alone. Please don’t make this an illusion.” >

“So many stars…” She wept tears of clotted blood.

They dribbled down her cheeks as her eyes turned bloodshot. The mood was eerily somber. Only the sound of cracking bone, the sloshing of her innards, and the drips of her blood could be heard.

Not another person batted an eye to her suffering… as if this was normal.

Frost prepared to let loose of all available healing magic. But as if sensing her intentions – the other women quickly clasped onto her body in a futile attempt to restrain her. They were weak. Pitifully weak…

Why? She’s… about to die so why are you…!?

Frost, in a fit of rage, nearly threw the women away. But their desperation caused her to reluctantly refrain. It frustrated her to no end knowing that they were allowing this girl to die right before their eyes!

Why are you all so accepting of this!?

She could feel them tremble as some silently sobbed into her sleeves as a method of protest. They relentlessly begged her to stay put with all their hearts.

Nav… why…?

“Why do you ask redundant questions? Frost. The girl also made her choice. Do you believe you hold the right to overrule her wish!?

Ugh… Fuck… FUCK!

Frost’s mind was amess. She could easily interview right here and now, but Nav was absolutely correct... it also went against everything she believed in.

 

Cat-eared Girl | HP: 50 | 100

< “What do I want?” >

“I want nothing… but this bliss…” She clasped her hands together and pulled them to her chest as the clotted blood spilled like scarlet jelly. By her chest was the empty photo.

Cat-eared Girl | HP: 35 | 100

< “Let me…!” >

“Take those arms… that hand… it’s warm… Thank you~” She then clasped onto D-13’s metal hand, letting go of the photo to the woman’s shock.

This action surprised D-13 the point where she was genuinely taken aback. Her eyes widened momentarily with stupor before they kindly mellowed out. She smiled, and then closed her eye… understanding what needed to be done next.

Cat-eared Girl | HP: 20 | 100

< “I want to…!” >

“Thank you… for showing me this…” Somehow, through the agony of her self-destructing body, she managed to wear a smile.

Frost took in a rapid breath and prepared to scream out at the top of her lungs.

Cat-eared Girl | HP: 5 | 100

< “I want to live…” >

“No matter the pain… I want… to live… and stay by your side… everyone.” She uttered her last words.

“AREA HEA –!”

Dozens of hands instant overlapped across her mouth. The slaves pounced on her, trying to get her to calm down but she did not budge the slightest. One even hung from her like a Christmas ornament.

“Administering 1000g of Serum H… Frost. Please do keep your promises~” A pale-white liquid then instantly poured into the girl’s body.

She collapsed in that instant, falling face-first into D-13’s chest as the congealed blood melted away. “Oh dear~ It’s all stained now. I’ll be mistaken for a Scarlet Healer~ Hmm. It seems like our farewell was actually directed to your weakness~”

Cat-eared Girl | HP: 100 | 100

Vellin quickly pulled out the scale and held it close to the girl’s chest. A vibrant, near flaming light shone on the tilted end. It caused the man’s stoic face to shatter as it blossomed in surprise.

“A resounding determination. You have found your salvation, little one.” He said with heartfelt thanks, scooping the girl into his arms like a princess. “A strong soul. I wonder what Atelier you will find yourself in. Justica Arms can always use more hands.”

I wasn’t the only one who was on edge… Tch. Fuck…

“D-13!”

Frost tore herself free from the others and stormed straight for the Wandering Healer. She dragged the woman up to her feet by the collar and yelled:

“Was this necessary!? Was watching her fun for you!? If you heard the voices like I did – then would you be able to stay as calm as you were!?”

The Wayfarer didn’t intervene even though his partner was in the clutches of an all-consuming monster. Not that they knew this, of course. There was a certain understanding shared between these two, and with only a nod from him, D-13 cocked her head and happily smiled.

“Dear no. We healers are the only ones capable of understanding what it’s like to wander with the burden these people carry. Frost, you surely aren’t that ignorant to forget what happened to us 30 years ago. When our wings were clipped by the world’s hands that sought to pet us. When we sought salvation in those Anid nests. Death was our goal, but we were given something else in return. We found hope in despair. The determination to persist. You, young healer, know nothing of our pain.”

Each word caused Frost to steadily loosen her grasp. Those eyes brimmed with experiences that made it nearly impossible to stare too deeply into, less she’d be consumed by them. She gradually calmed down. Frost knew this already… but her heart still couldn’t easily accept this sad reality.

“Frost. You are an enigma~ You remind me an awful lot of my dearest friend Galia… and my distant self. I remember the first time I hoisted her up from the collar. How I complained about her barbarism. How I criticized her philosophy of justice that came from a land unlike ours. Oh Frost~ Your façade is strong. Your character is stronger. But you are still inexperienced.”

She then pointed a clawed finger towards the center of her chest.

“Understand that there will be difficult choices ahead. Death may be the most merciful thing we as healers can grant people.” She cautioned before fleeing from Frost’s hold.

These words were the only things she struggled to digest as the Amalgam. But she listened dearly, nonetheless.

D-13 guided her hand in the air like a bird again, eventually landing beside the cheek of the sleeping cat-eared girl.

“I did not expect her to survive. 150 of the 300 I inoculated took Serum S and they all perished, as did countless tens of thousands throughout my travels. But I do remember the young Demi-humans that survived a significantly worse ordeal nearly 20 years ago. I wonder how they are doing now~”

* * *

Frost eventually calmed down.

The tugging of her emotions, heart and mind worn her out more than anything thus far. She was eternally thankful that no one had to die tonight. The inoculated women were laid to rest beside Jury, all snuggled cozily within the walls of the Guild.

As their namesakes implied – they could no longer stay here. They were wanderers at heart, and to Frost’s surprise, D-13 had never set foot into the Nexus before. And neither was Vellin a Blessed. It explained why they took her name at face value. The Arbiter was a name that should have been known to all Blessed and presumably the Ateliers, but not even these two knew of them.

No. They did know, but they were unaware of what that name truly meant.

They had been wandering Grandis together for over 30 years now. Frost would have never believed anyone that spouted such nonsense. But that was hardly the strangest thing in this world and given the experiences this woman had under her belt – Frost easily swallowed this as a fact.

And besides, her coat never stopped ruffling.

That explains why they also know so little… But I feel like I’ve also learned a lot somehow. Haaaah.

The eve of their departure soon arrived. A choir of goodbyes filled the air as they waved themselves out of the Guild. But not without beaconing Frost to follow. She knew what this was for.

Once outside, and alone on the bricked path, D-13 pulled out the Script and recited:

“Hello, it is I, the esteemed Director. I have hijacked this Script to offer you my regards. I patiently wait for you to step into my grand stage on the Floor of Purpose… what a funny character. Floor of Purpose, hmm~ Frost – you are heading for Brandar, no?” D-13 spoke.

“We are. Why?”

“Then you will meet with the Collectors. Give them my name. They will understand. It sounds like you have a vibrant journey of your own to the Nexus. The next time we meet, I hope you can allow me to understand as to why you are called the Amalgam.” She waved.

“It was our pleasure being in your presence… though I will say, your attire did manage to fool me at first.” Vellin said as he pulled out the scale. “Our branch uses black, much like Beholder Galia herself. And the 1^st Apostle has a similar wear. Your friend dons the colors of the 2^nd Apostle. At least you were not wearing the 12^th Apostle’s colors. Not that betrayer.” Vellin ended in relief. “Two different lights in one body. You truly are an enigma. Above us for sure.”

Please… don’t introduce more mysteries right before you leave. Frost mentally sighed.

The man then suddenly stopped in his tracks and respectfully bowed.

“May justice never stray behind judgement. Farewell, Frost.”

“Farewell~ I look forward to our next encounter.” D-13 hummed.

“Goodbye. Next time I’ll try not to be at your throat.” Frost apologized, smiling at the two as they turned their backs to her and wandered off along the trail.

And just like that, they disappeared as suddenly as they appeared.