Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

831. Since When Could They Talk!?

She found it odd how Raoul hardly reacted to the news of them Corrupting. Corruption was by far a fate worse than death. And yet, he was indifferent to the news. She had thought that it was because they were fine now that it was a waste to mull on the past.

But she could never had imagined that Raoul was…

“You condoned it…? Then the reason why they were so focused on us was because of you? Did you… Raoul. Answer me! Raoul! DID YOU SANCTION THEM TO CORRUPT US!?”

“It was the end goal. If everything failed… then it was my last resort. But to them, it was their first. Enemies of mine managed to get to you first.”

He brushed it off like it was an insignificant morsel of truth. But to Cer, it changed everything she knew and thought about Raoul. Any semblance of forgiveness was violently ripped from her heart once she realized how twisted Raoul’s ‘love’ was.

“I don’t expect you to understand. I know what it takes to Corrupt. I regretted it. But you will find that it is necessary in time.”

“No… I never will. You’ve lost it. You’re not sane anymore. Who… who are you?” Cer slowly shook her head.

This was not Raoul any longer.

“A Corrupted can never lose their mind. They will always remain the way they are no matter the adversity. They’re time capsules. No memory-loss aliments, or amount of trauma can bury them. It’s the cure you three required. Had the twins Corrupted, then they wouldn’t have become Shells. If mother Corrupted, then we would not have lost her.”

“… The reason why Ber had to suffer through her trauma of losing her hands… and why Res had to relive her guilt… was just because you didn’t want them to move on?”

“… It’s not that simple. I simply wished that you three would stop growing up.”

“Hah… Haha… Ha…” Cer’s voice cracked. “Was being followed by your little sister so revolting that you’d rather she become a husk? It would’ve been worse if I Corrupted. I would’ve been…”

She couldn’t take hearing this anymore. Cer’s eyes widened like she was on the verge of breaking down, but she refrained. The sheer mental toll wracked her mind. She gasped at her head, then, she pulled at her hair and then her ears as if wishing to wake up from a terrible dream.

But this was her reality. Nothing could change that. Cer looked down into her palms, then at her bare feet. The soles of her shoes had been worn down to the point where a few shoelaces and scraps of durable dark hide remained.

Just what have I been chasing this entire time? My whole life was dedicated just wanting to  stand beside Raoul…

“Your dream as a Moon must end.”

Raoul’s voice echoed in her heart. Soon, there was no Cer in the world save for her. The very last aberration of herself was a tiny Cer that reached out towards a fleeting back. It never stopped to wait for her, and yet, the smile that girl wore belonged to a child who could only see stars in a world as dark as this.

Cer stood in the center of the sky-blue garden and stared up hoping to find a moon. But there was nothing to see but a small glimmer of light.

There were no stars there either. Neither was there one in front of her anymore. She couldn’t bare to look at Raoul anymore.

He was…

… My own brother was the reason why we had to suffer. If it weren’t for Frost, then I would’ve lost everything. What do I do, Frost? I’m so lost right now. He’s irredeemable. Raoul…

Neither of them attacked. Raoul’s thoughts were occupied by both Cer and the abrupt cessation of the Dirge’s activities. He too gazed up into the skies to search for answers before suddenly, a vibrant flash of light consumed their vision.

“… Mother.” Raoul uttered.

Cer closed her eyes for but a fleeting moment.

Then, when she opened them again, she found herself standing in a dark world.

* * *

There was nothing for Cer to see in this dark world save for a bright light in the distance. Streaks of light shot across the skies like shooting stars. They converged at that light like arrows pointing her to move onwards.

“Is this… another introspection? I’m not going to Corrupt this time either, Elysia.” Cer was prepared to fight tooth and nail with Elysia the moment she appeared.

Her tail stood tall behind her as her ears twitched wildly. She planted an ear to the ground but could not find any traces of activity. She was alone in this world and possessed nothing but the clothes on her back.

“… I was just fighting with Raoul. Don’t tell me that light knocked me out. Tch… and I was winning as well. I should’ve taken the opportunity to put him down for good. He’s…”

“Irredeemable?” The voice of a child spoke from behind.

Cer’s ears twitched. That voice was oddly familiar. Her combat instincts also kicked in as she bared her fangs, preparing to attack the source of the voice.

However, the person who stood behind her was none other than the Star Child.

“Since when were you standing there? Wait – I’m… Where exactly am I? If you’re here, then does that mean I’m back in the Nexus?”

The Star Child shook her head and began to draw equations and symbols Cer could never understand.

“Huh? Didn’t you just talk?” She gave the Star Child a quizzical look, but it was nothing like her usual gaze of contempt. Rather, it was far more tender than she perhaps knew.

Seeing a familiar face here caused her to relax.

Then, the voice spoke from behind her again.

“Wishes!”

A pair of tiny hands roamed through her tail. Surprisingly, it didn’t cause Cer to decapitate them on reflect. She had felt these hands before, and she knew exactly who they belonged to immediately.

“The Little Frost?”

“Little!”

“Huh!? You can talk!?”

“Small!”

“Or not so much?”

“Miniscule~!”

It nearly made Cer laugh. The absurdity of hearing the Little Frost speak should have made her gush and fawn over the girl with everything she had. But Cer couldn’t find it within herself to do this. Not here. Not now. Her sorrow was palpable.

Her eyes lit up for only a second before they were quickly drowned out by the shadow of Raoul’s betrayal.

“The last thing on my mind was seeing you here. It makes me feel like I’m on the boundary of life and death. I guess seeing a little version of Frost before I die isn’t a bad way to go.” Still, Cer couldn’t help but weave in a joke. “… Fuck… Tch. Hey… I shouldn’t be here. I need to head back.”

“Sad?” The Little Frost asked, leaning slightly forward as the Star Child moved around to join her.

“Devastated… I really can’t stay here. Take me back. I need to finish what I started.”

The Star Child shook her head softly. Cer wanted to refute this. In fact, she almost did. But she quickly understood that there must have been a reason for her to be here. The fact that she was able to hold her tongue back surprised her, because if it were the old Cer…

… I would’ve never stopped until they sent me back. Have I gotten too comfortable with Frost ordering me around? Or is it just this rut that’s taking a toll on me? Shit…

The Little Frost then pointed towards the light.

“Travel! Star! Towards!” She exclaimed happily. “Wish! Moon!”

“Wish? That light must’ve been the Piece of the Fallen Star then. Am I about to have my wish granted!?” Cer wondered.

The only reply she received was a bright smile from the Star Child and the Little Frost. Suddenly, each snatched a hand of hers and began to drag her towards the light.

“Oi! Wait! You didn’t answer me!”