Out for Karma: One Piece

Chapter 37: Why isn’t there a god of tits and wine?

Robin and Rick joined the rest of the crew to meet Conis. A young and pretty blond woman born and raised on Skypiea. She had shown Luffy how to deal with the fruit he found and that Zoro did cut it in half but made it inedible. The fruit was some kind of coconut and you had to carve a hole in it to drink its juice. 

They were soon joined by her father, he was coming from the sea on some kind of vehicle he named ‘waver’ and that allowed someone to glide on water or apparently clouds. Luffy wanted to try riding it.

“Ten Berry he falls off of it.” betted Rick.

“Deal.” said Usopp.

The strawhat pirate started doing pretty good on the waver, but quickly lost control and was ejected. Rick was ready however and made his captain and the waver float and brought both back on the beach. Nami asked to have a turn too.

“Do you want another go Usopp? 100 berry Nami rides it with no problem.”

“She will fall too, you know. It takes ten years to properly know how to drive a weaver.” said Conis.

Hearing those words Usopp agreed to the second bet, sure that it would be his win. Unfortunately for him Nami proved him wrong. She operated the weaver skillfully as if she had decades of practice, astonishing everyone, including Conis and her father. That made Luffy really jealous and threw a little fit, meanwhile Usopp was crying silently about his loss thinking how he could pay Rick the 110 Berry he owed him. After all he didn’t have any money, when he did, it was because Nami allowed him to have some and she was stingy. If he said it was to pay his debt to Rick there was no way she would agree. The cute navigator asked if she could use the waver for a while to tour the coast a bit. She got permission to do so by Conis’ father who brought everyone else back to his home. Along the way Usopp asked how the waver was working.

“How does the waver work? It isn’t using a sail to be pushed forward by the wind, so how can it move?”

“It uses a breath dial to propel itself forward.” said Pagaya.

Wait! Who is Pagaya?

(Author’s note: Conis’ dad)

And you just drop the name like that, expecting readers to already know about it?

(Author’s note:  Even *I* the almighty author didn’t know it.)

Then how did…

(Author’s note: One Piece’s wiki. It wasn’t told in the manga.)

If it wasn’t told in the manga why the hell did you use it?

(Author’s note: Conis’ dad / father is too long to write and redundant.)

… I can’t even begin to …

(Author’s note: Back to the story, it won’t narrate itself.)

Usopp raised an eyebrow at what Pagaya said.

“Breath dial?” he asked the older man.

“My apologies, I forgot you’re from the blue sea. A dial is a device made from the remains of particular shellfish. There are many different types of dials. The one on the waver is a breath dial. It’s a dial that stores air currents in it and releases it when used. The air current is sent backwards, propelling the waver forward. They are also handy for storing gases, smells or poisons. They are very useful.” explained Pagaya.

“Can you tell me more about dials?” said Usopp with fascination.

Pagaya simply gave a nod for answer and invited the crew into his home. Conis served tea to everyone while her father was showing Sanji the kitchen and the food found in Skypiea at the latter askance. Usopp kept asking questions about dials, which Conis happily answered by doing some demonstration with the ones she had around, like the tone dial that could record sounds and play it back again or simply a lamp dial that makes light when activated. The crew’s sniper’s excitement was so strong that when Sanji and Pagaya came back from the kitchen he asked where he could procure some of them.

“At the market, but they are rather expensive and some more than others as they are quite rare.” said Conis’ father.

Usopp immediately asked if he could show him the way to the market, prompting Sanji to support him as he wanted to buy some sky food. Hearing his chef talk about food got Luffy’s interest in trying it in some establishment. Food establishment also meant alcohol, piquing Zoro’s curiosity. In the end, since more than half the crew wanted to visit the market the father and daughter pair agreed to show them around.

They made two groups, the first one was the group ‘food’ led by Conis and made of Luffy, Zoro, Sanji and Chopper. The second group was the group ‘business’ led by Pagaya with Usopp, Robin and Rick. Once at the market the two groups separated to do their own things.

Usopp and Pagaya were, without any surprise talking about dials, the latter showing the former the different types on display and what they could do. Rick had warned Ussop to be moderate in his purchase and to not buy any dials dealing with clouds when Pagaya talked about them, as there is none on the blue sea making them useless once they get back.

“I guess it’s just you and me then.” said Rick to Robin.

“It seems that way.” was the answer he got.

“...”

“...”

“It looks like there aren’t any pirates to make some kind of offerings, that’s too bad.”

Robin rolled her eyes and shook her head but couldn’t help but have a small smile remembering their ‘little walk’ on Jaya.

“Well, let’s find some information on this place the old fashioned way.” he said.

“Coercing and threatening people?” asked Robin with an eyebrow raised.

“A woman after my own heart, aren’t you? But no, I was thinking about finding a library or going to the town hall to see some records but we can do it your way if you want. I'm not really picky.”

“I... didn’t expect that from you.”

“Because I was raised by the marines or because I’m a pirate?”

“Neither, well actually more the pirate thing, I mean until now, coercing and threatening is what I’ve seen you do.”

“...”

“...”

“Fair enough. However, do know that I am a man of culture though, I read like… three or four books.” that was said with fake enthusiasm and pride.

Robin caught on his jest and played along.

“Wow, that's impressive. That you could read, I mean.” she smirked

That comeback surprised Rick a bit. Robin wasn’t the joking type, at least not so early in the story. He was about to sass her back but thought it wouldn’t be a good idea and changed what he was about to say.

“I know how to write and count to a hundred too!” He looked around as if checking if someone was in hearing range then got close to Robin and whispered in her ear.

“I even know that babies come from two people kissing.”

That stunned Robin. Of everything he could have said she wasn’t expecting that. It was so ridiculous, so childish. She couldn’t help herself, she laughed. Rick had already distanced himself, a smile on his face, and started walking again. She didn’t quite know what to make of him. Despite his situation he was carefree, without any worry in the world and allowed himself to act like a child. His attitude was effective on her and it made her worried. In less than a month she had laughed more heartilly than she did in twenty years. That he could go past her defenses wasn’t good, as being unguarded is how you got caught and killed. She couldn’t let that happen, she couldn’t be vulnerable. She had to do something about Rick. Murder? That would be the best solution but difficult to pull off, he was an experienced fighter after all. Poison? The crew would know right away, they may have accepted her but some like Zoro or Usopp were still a bit suspicious of her.

“Hey Robin! You’re coming or what ?” Yelled Rick .

Robin decided to put on hold her thoughts about how to deal with him and joined him.

Soon they arrived at the town hall where an angel led them to the records of the island. He was quite surprised, almost no one ever came here to look at his people’s history.

Rick chose to start with the beginning of the island History and Robin by the end to be knowledgeable about the current state of the place. They had more than 1000 years to cover and dividing the work would help them do it faster.

Rick found out that Skypeians were a race that came from the moon. They lived there with two other races but left because of a lack of resources. The skypeians settle on sky islands with one of the two other races, the third one settling somewhere on the blue sea. It was all new to him, the origin of the skypeians were never really mentioned in the story, with the exception of some front pages for some chapters that told Ener’s journey and adventure on the moon. He quickly got to the part where the holy land appeared 400 years ago and where the god at the time proclaimed it a miracle, starting the war against the shandia followed by their defeat and exile from their home.

“Rick! I found something interesting.” said Robin to him across the room.

“Me too but Ladies first.”

He joined her at her table and she showed him a book about the ruler of the islands.

“It says here that Skypiea is ruled by a god, overlooking all the area from a place called “upper-yard”. Apparently it’s the highest island and it’s made of both clouds and land. How could there be land in the sky?” she stated.

“I know the answer to that one. Around 400 years ago a massive spot of vreath, that’s what the skypiea call earth, landed on the highest island. The god at the time proclaimed it was a miracle and appropriated the land but...”

“But it was already inhabited by people called shandia.”

“Yes, they lost and were exiled from their home.”

“It says here that the fight has been going on since then. The previous god tried to negotiate peace but was replaced by the current one who is, by reading between the lines, a tyrant.”

“Hugh. This is not gonna go well.”

“What do you mean?”

“A four centuries war still going on, a tyrant in power, and Luffy in the mix? It’s almost Alabasta all over again.”

“Do you think we’ll end up in the middle of it?”

“Oh, I don’t think, I know.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Too many coincidences. The vreath that appeared? It’s highly likely that it is the missing part of Jaya.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“Nope. I think it arrived here the same way we did.”

“The upstream?!”

“Yes. Now look at the dates, around 400 years ago Norland the liar discovered Shandora the gold city, when he came back to pay a visit the city was gone. Now at the same time still 400 years ago a massive amount of vreath landed on this island. Jaya was not far from the upstream that brought us here so…”

“So an even bigger upstream could have elevated part of the island.”

“Yes. Furthermore when the vreath landed a very beautiful and distinct sound was heard all over Skypiea.”

“You think it was the golden bell ringing?”

“I don’t see how anything else would fit the bill. And last but not least; shandia, Shandora? See the resemblance?”

Robin took a moment to digest the new information Rick provided her to finally come to a conclusion.

“If the bell is there, there is no way Luffy won’t want to ring it, meaning…”

“We’re going to fight god, his people and the people of shandia.”

“Wait, I agree everything seems to fit perfectly but we don’t know for sure if it’s true.”

“You’re right, but I got a feeling it is and when I got a feeling, it’s never wrong.”

Robin had a dubious look on her face.

“It’s true, I've never been wrong when I get a feeling.” stated Rick

“Oh, really? Then if I ask you who was the former god that tried to negotiate peace? Have any ‘feeling’ about that?”

“Actually yes. I got the feeling it’s Gan Fall.”

Robin was dumbfounded, she didn’t expect him to have the right answer.

“What… How did you…”

“So I was right? Told you so.”

“There is no way! You must have learned about it in one of the books you research.”

“Nope, feel free to check though.”

And she did and as Rick’s books didn’t cover their current time period she found nothing.

“I can’t believe it. You were just lucky.”

He just shrugged his shoulders. Now that they had the information they were looking for, they put back the books in their rightful place on the shelves. Just before exiting the town hall, Rick asked the angel behind the reception desk where they could find a map of the island. It turned out that they were selling them from a few extol so he took one.

“We already have a map of Skypiea.” said Robin

“Yes, but we don’t know if it’s complete or not. Besides, it’s 200 years old. That’s not the main reason I bought one though.”

“What is it then?”

“You’ll see when we get back on the ship.”

They found Pagaya and Usopp where they left them. The latter had purchased many dials and kept talking about what they could do and what he was going to do with them. They were joined by the food group soon enough, and departed towards the beach to pick up Nami. Once on the beach They saw the navigator coming back, however the appearance of soldiers with white beret crawling on the sand towards them was what caught their attention. Once close enough they stood up and what seemed to be their leader spoke.

“You! You’re a pirate of the blue sea! You’re an illegal trespasser!” he said, pointing at Rick.

Conis and Pagaya were shocked to hear that. If Rick was an illegal trespasser and a pirate, since he was with the rest of the crew were they too?

“That’s a serious accusation you’re making here. Do you have any proof of what you’re claiming?” stated Rick.

‘Damnit, I had hoped to avoid confronting those guys which originally led to a separation of the crew. That old hag must have reported me before coming to my cell. At least I got rid of her.’

The leader of the squad produced a picture from his breast pocket. It showed Rick and his wanted poster.

‘Well shit’

“There is no point denying it. We received this picture from the keeper at heaven’s gate.”

“Well congratulations you got me! Now what are you going to do about it?”

“According to heaven’s judgment illegal trespassing is only a class-11 crime. After serving the punishment, you will become a regular tourist.”

“And what is the punishment?”

“For a class-11? Ten times the entrance fee.”

“10 Billions? No problem then.”

When Rick heard a ‘cough’ sound coming from behind him he turned to look at the rest of the crew.

“Between Luffy’s food and Zoro’s alcohol we’re almost broke.” said Chopper, prompting Rick to look at Usopp.

“The dials are expensive, you know.” was all the sniper could say as an excuse.

The vice-captain let out a single but short ‘great’ dripping of sarcasm. Before he could say anything else the leader spoke again.

“That’s for being an illegal trespasser, but since you’re a pirate it’s a class-3 crime and the punishment for that is public execution.”

“Plan B it is then,” said Rick before using his gravity to flatten the soldiers violently on the ground.

“Plan B?” asked Zoro.

“B for beating the shit out of them.” answered Rick with a smirk.

“Hahaha. You fool. It would have been fine if you had surrendered. We, the withe berets, are the nicest law enforcers in god land. They, on the other hand... won’t be so forgiving! With this you have become a class-2 criminal. No matter how much you cry or scream… the priests of ‘upper-yard’ will personally judge you! It’s a fate worse than death!” warned the white berets leader before following his men in unconsciousness.

“Well shit.”

At that moment Nami came back on the shore, seeing the unconscious men on the sand she had to ask.

“What did I miss?”

“Well Rick’s escape reached the authorities.” began Luffy pointing at the white berets.

“They came to arrest him, apparently not paying the entrance fee is a crime and you’re fined 10 times the price, so Rick was right about insisting to pay.” followed Zoro.

“There is no way we’re paying 10 billion extol!” yelled Nami.

“We can’t pay anyway, Luffy, Zoro and Usopp used all the money.” said Chopper

“WHAT?!” Nami was now furious.

“It’s irrelevant because since Rick is a pirate the punishment is death. And well Rick beat their ass.” said Sanji, continuing the story.

“All is good then.” declared Nami.

“Not really. Beating the authorities is an even more serious crime than being a pirate. Rick will be judged by some priests and it appears the punishment is worse than death.” added Robin.

“Who cares?! If they come, we'll beat them!” announced Luffy.

“Actually we may have to go to them…” said Rick.

“Why would you want to go to people who will give you a fate worse than death?” yelled Nami.

The Vice-captain gave a look to Robin who nodded. The two of them related to the rest of the crew what they found in the town hall. From the appearance of vreath 400 years ago to the rise of power of the new god.

“Wait, wait, wait. You can’t say for certain that the gold city that was on Jaya is now on skypiea. I mean, yes, plenty of things fit but you can’t be sure that what landed on skypiea 400 years ago is the missing part of Jaya.” said Usopp.

“I can. Nami, do you have the map of Jaya?” asked Rick.

“Sure, here.”

He took the map of skypiea that he bought in the town hall with the one he received from Nami and put them both together.

“Do you see what I see?” asked the former marine.

“It’s a skull!” yelled luffy.

“The two islands perfectly fit together.” said Nami.

“And that’s not all. The city of gold is called Shandora, it means…” began Rick

“The skull’s right eye.” cut Robin.

“And what is depicted on the right eye on the map?” added the ex-marine.

“A city.” answered Sanji.

“So Shandora really ended up in Skypiea.” said Robin.

Nami was ecstatic, she had a berry sign on her eyes. Luffy, Usopp and Chopper had stars in their own eyes. The prospect of finding a lost city full of gold was the dream adventure for pirates after all. Each one was already talking about what they were going to do with all this gold.

“Guys! I know you’re excited about the gold but there is a big problem. The guy pretending to be a god, his priests and the shandia are in the way.” said Rick, reminding them of the situation.

“Well, we were already going to kick the priest's asses, what’s a few more guys?” announced Zoro.

Hearing the swordsman both Conis and Pagaya gasped loudly.

“Don’t say that out loud or you're going to summon God's wrath upon you!” said Pagaya.

“And you’re talking about God! God can’t be defeated!”added Conis

“Conis. He is no god. A powerful guy acting as god maybe but God with a big capital ‘G’? It’s not possible.” announced Rick.

“Stop saying things like that!” implored Conis.

“Now a goddess? I may believe but a God? Prespopetrous. If there really was a God the world would be full of food, alcohol, tits and ass everywhere.” declared the Vice-captain.

His declaration brought silence to the group. Everyone looked at him with his own expression. Finally the silence was broken by Pagaya. Tilting his head on the side he said.

“That makes sense.”

“FATHER!”

Nami started beating Rick with her fist of love. The poor guy ended up looking like an ostrich with his head firmly planted in the sand.

“I get the food and alcohol, but why asses? And what are tits?” asked Luffy.

The reaction was immediate among the crew. All of them thought the same thing.

“““““““How can this guy be our captain?””””””””

“Anyway, I’m still hungry so I’m gonna get some food, you guys go ahead and prepare for our adventure!!” was all he said before running towards Conis and Pagaya’s house followed by Usopp, Sanji and the owners.

The rest of the crew made of Zoro, Nami, Chopper, Rick and Robin embarked on the merry and began following Luffy’s order when the navigator yelled.

“Oh my god I forgot!”

“What?” asked Zoro.

“When I was touring with the waver I got close to the forest and I saw some guys fighting! Then suddenly an enormous column of light came from the sky and pulverised the guys and the land around. Their enemies were aware of your trespassing Rick!”

“An enormous column of light that pulverizes everything? If I didn’t know any better I’d say it’s god’s doing but I do know better, so I’m going to guess and say devil fruit user.” said Rick.

“Another ‘feeling’?” asked Robin.

“Not this time. Anything unusual happened before, during or after the attack, Nami?” answered Rick.

“Well, not really… Oh wait! Before the column appeared there was a very loud rumbling sound.”

He just nodded in a way that let the others think that  he knew something. Zoro intended to ask what answer Rick came too when the Merry Shook violently.

“What’s happening?!” screamed Nami.

Two red claws took hold on each of her sides, raising her in the air. They belonged to a giant red crab with the word ‘GOD’ carved on its forehead.

“It seems we received an invitation.”