QT: Don't fall in love with the Male Lead

Chapter 95: Don't expect the worst but hope for the best

Su Xueyi laughs at the panicked look in Xi Zirui's face. "Shidi, don't worry, I'm not going to do it now."

He grins and pulls Xi Zirui forward by the wrist, dragging him towards the altar with Xi Ming's body.

"First we need to bring Xi Ming's soul back, so it can stabilize in its original body before being transferred to someone else," Su Xueyi says, placing the hairpin over Xi Ming's chest.

His tone makes it seem as if this is some fun experiment he and Xi Zirui are undertaking together.

Disgusted, Xi Zirui jerks his arm away. "What do you need me for, then?"

Su Xueyi pulls Xi Zirui forward, baring his pale forearm above Xi Ming's face before taking a small dagger out of his sleeve and making a slash across the soft skin.

He squeezes, so that Xi Zirui's blood will trickle down into Xi Ming's ashen lips. 

"Better to use Shidi's blood for this rather than my own, since the two of you will be so intimately acquainted," Su Xueyi says, smirking at Xi Zirui's fruitless struggle to release himself.

When he finally lets go, Xi Zirui clutches his bleeding arm to his chest, keeping it elevated to slow the bleeding, even thought it's not a deep cut, or particularly painful.

He's more concerned about what his blood is being used for.

He wishes he had Untold Sorrow with him, maybe he'd be able to stop Su Xueyi, or hamper his plans in any way, but it was the first thing Su Xueyi confiscated when he trapped him inside his pavilion. 

Xi Zirui wonders where it is, and what would it take to get it back.

"Done," Su Xueyi says, smiling triumphantly after successfully transferring some of his qi over to Xi Ming's body. "Now it's only a matter of time."

He escorts Xi Zirui out of the room, back towards the guest room he's being kept in. 

Xi Zirui throws one look over his shoulder, and swears he can see one of Xi Ming's fingers twitch on the stone slab.

---

Xi Zirui grows antsy with apprehension over the next couple of days. 

It will take some time for any message to reach Bai Mi, and then for Bai Mi to reach them. That is if the paper plane reached Han Yu to being with.

Xi Zirui contemplated sending it directly to Bai Mi, but the great distance made him reconsider. It's already risky to send a message like that inside the same sect grounds, let alone across provinces and into possibly hostile territory.

He can only hope that Han Yu and Li Siqi can convince Bai Mi and her people that they aren't being lured into a trap.

There have been no efforts to break him out of his confinement -- at least that he has noticed.

Xi Zirui doesn't know whether that's a good or a bad thing.

The day after the gruesome ritual to bring back Xi Ming's soul from the Underworld, Su Xueyi drags Xi Zirui back to that dismal room so he can feed more of his blood to Xi Ming.

That day, Xi Zirui watches as Xi Ming's eyes fly open, discolored to a milky white, unseeingly staring up at the wooden ceiling.

He never feels guiltier for the role he's playing in this whole thing than when Xi Ming opens his lips and lets out a cracked, anguish groan.

As if he too realizes he's not meant to be here.

The following day, Xi Ming's soul fully returns to his body.

Xi Zirui can only watch as Su Xueyi helps him off the altar, wrapping Heavenly Dragon robes around his slim shoulders.

He isn't fully himself. The sickly person in front of Xi Zirui bears only a passing resemblance to the lively young man he saw in the memory realm.

"How do you feel, Xi Ming?" Su Xueyi asks, speaking to him as if he were a very small child.

Xi Ming's bloodless lips part but no sound comes out, his sunken eyes fly over the room trying to latch on to something familiar.

On the third try, he manages to make a sound. "Huan Xuan," he says, his voice raspy with disuse. 

Su Xueyi's face shutters with displeasure. "You're tired, you need rest," he says, helping Xi Ming out of the room with an arm behind his back. "Let me find you a room."

In his poorly hidden rage, Su Xueyi leaves Xi Zirui behind, alone in the room with all his secrets.

Xi Zirui knows he doesn't have much time to act, Su Xueyi will be back soon.

He finds the box Su Xueyi retrieved from Xi Ming's funeral tablet with the pearl still inside it. The one he intends to feed Xi Zirui to make him immortal and able to withstand having his soul replaced with Xi Ming's.

He hides the pearl into his own wide sleeve, and opens little cabinet doors at random until he finds a pill that's similar enough to replace it.

If Su Xueyi will notice the switch is anyone's guess, but at the moment, there's not much else Xi Zirui can do.

He eyes the small drawer with the assortment of pills, the gears in his mind turning.

There's still the matter of Han Yu's and Li Siqi's cultivation level, which he hasn't managed to increase. 

Well, there's no harm in trying.

He hides a few along the dragon pearl in his sleeve and steps away from Su Xueyi's working tables.

By the time he comes back to fetch him, Xi Zirui is meditating on the floor, the very picture of innocence.

---

Logically, Xi Zirui knows that with Xi Ming walking about it's only a matter of time until Su Xueyi sets the second part of his plan in motion.

But he doesn't expect it to happen that same day, in the middle of the night.

He comes to with a gasp when a heavy hand clamps his mouth shut and strong arms heft him in the air.

Xi Zirui struggles against the arms keeping him in place until his gaze focuses and he recognizes Han Yu's limpid eyes, shining down with worry at him.

"It's me, Shizun, we've come to rescue you," Han Yu says, running his nose along Xi Zirui's bared neck.

"I knew the grandmaster was fucking his disciple," an amused voice calls from behind Han Yu's shoulder.

Bai Mi smirks, her long ponytail winding down over her right arm. 

"Keep your voice down," Han Yu says, in a hiss. "Don't worry Shizun, shijie stayed behind in her quarters with young miss Liao."

Xi Zirui is so glad to see Han Yu's face that he doesn't even care that Bai Mi is along for the ride.

Uncaring of her presence he loops his arms around Han Yu's neck and pulls him down into a searing kiss.

"Now I understand why he had to come himself to deliver the message that Su Xueyi had betrayed our agreement," Bai Mi says, walking ahead of them to open the doors silently.

As soon as they're out of Su Xueyi's pavilion, Han Yu drops Xi Zirui to the floor and hands him Untold Sorrow. 

"I found this in sect leader's quarters," he says, handing it over to Xi Zirui who didn't think he'd ever be this glad to see a fan.

"The bastard is going to sleep for some time," Bai Mi says, the thin needles between her fingers glinting in the moonlight. 

"There's no time to waste, we must hurry," Han Yu says, and light-steps up into the roof of the nearest pavilion.

"Pushy, isn't he?" Bai Mi grumbles, and chances a quick look at Xi Zirui. "Is that why little gege likes him?"

It's more along the lines of a mutual push and pull between the two of them.

But Bai Mi doesn't need to be privy to the particulars of their relationship, so Xi Zirui throws a pithy "Yes," over his shoulder and light-steps after Han Yu.

---

They steal out of Heavenly Dragon in the middle of the night. 

It takes them the entire night, and part of the day to reach Blood Crane. The relief Xi Zirui feels when he descends the stone staircase and sees the sun shining down through the natural skylight on the bamboo buildings almost makes him go weak at the knees.

He sleeps for almost an entire day, nestled in Han Yu's arms, lulled by his minty scent. 

Li Siqi doesn't take kindly to their new relationship status, and her admiration for Xi Zirui suffers another blow. 

Xi Zirui gives her space, there's time yet for her to come around. 

A luxury he didn't believe he could still afford a few scant days ago.

Time passes, Xi Zirui trains his disciples alongside Bai Mi and grows stronger with them.

He gives Bai Mi the pills he stole from Su Xueyi, he figures she deserves a reward for her help, but keeps the dragon pearl a secret for the time being.

His only regret is not taking along Xi Ming's hairpin, and the Soul Summoning Manual, but they were already in a hurry without wasting time trying to figure out how to break into Su Xueyi's private study room.

Sometimes, his thoughts drift over towards Xi Ming, and he wonders how he's handling the terrible reality of having been brought back to life.

His soul must be fragmenting by now, his dead body unable to withstand the burden.

The days go by, and soon, an entire month passes. 

But Xi Zirui doesn't relax, not again, the last world took that from him.

For as long as he lives, he doesn't think he'll ever be able to stop looking over his shoulder, waiting for fate to catch up to him.

He and Han Yu are in bed one day, when Han Yu tells him, "I'm glad we didn't run away, Shizun."

Xi Zirui has no idea what brought this on, so he just snuggles against Han Yu and nuzzles his naked chest, humming in quiet encouragement for Han Yu to elaborate.

Han Yu runs his hands down Xi Zirui's loose hair, winding it around his hand like a spool. "We're accepted here, and we don't have to pretend to be anything but ourselves."

He chuckles. "Who knew demonic cultivators would be more tolerant than the immortal sects?"

Xi Zirui smiles and kisses Han Yu, cupping the back of his head tenderly. He doesn't tell him it's actually a common trope in fiction.

They continue to ignore the blatant violations of nature's law happening around them on a daily basis in the name of keeping relations cordial with the Blood Crane disciples.

Something that is easier for them to do than for Li Siqi, who can't go five minutes without calling something, "A gross violation of Dao."

Sometimes she even says that about breakfast.

Han Yu's 'righteous disciple' aura is surprisingly popular among demonic cultivators, which gets on Xi Zirui's nerves -- although he doesn't show it.

Or at least he thinks so, until one day they're walking past a group of giggling disciples and whatever Han Yu sees in Xi Zirui's face makes him push him into a secluded corner, and whisper into his ear:

"I walk through flower fields and none turn my head, half because my Path is set, and half because of you."(1)

Xi Zirui can't do anything but drag him back to their rooms and ride him until both of them are dripping sweat.

"I should recite poetry more often if this is how Shizun reacts," Han Yu says, later, sitting behind Xi Zirui and doing up his hair, securing half of it up with the engraved hairpin he bought for Xi Zirui all those weeks ago.

Xi Zirui turns around with a retort ready on his lips when a commotion outside alerts them both.

Several disciples are trying to hold back someone with unkempt black hair and unnaturally pale skin. His bones creak with every step he takes.

"Xi Ming?" Xi Zirui whispers, trying to recognize him through the hair obscuring his face.

His suspicions are confirmed when he sees that in one of his bony hands he holds a chain, attached to a half-conscious Su Xueyi.

---

(1) This is a super famous poem, but I can't for the life of me remember who wrote it! Anyway this particular translation (and my favorite) is from the GL drama Legend of Yunqian which you can watch on youtube. The whole thing is like one hour and a half, and stupidly cute, please check it out if you have the time. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing people making lgbt content despite the constraints they experience. The "Path" mentioned here is the literal translation of Dao, which is why you've probably seen this poem in other cultivation/ wuxia novels - the perfect declaration of love for your local martial artist.