Re: Blood and Iron

Chapter 34: Finding Ways to Entertain Oneself



The trip to Manchuria would easily take a month and a half, perhaps even longer. Because of this, Bruno spent his days getting accustomed to the crew of the SMS, Hansa, and the officers on board it.

When he wasn't smoking on the deck, chatting with the sailors, and gazing off at the many seas and oceans of the world, then he was within the interior, either playing poker with Heinrich and Erich. Or chatting with the Captain and his subordinates.

Life in the Navy was different than that of the army. And when having dinner with the Captain of the vessel one night. Bruno made a humorous remark about this.

"Quite frankly, I'm not the kind of man to spend my life at sea. I'd rather not drown in the ocean should the ship go down. Give me a bullet to the dome, or a quick death by artillery any day of the week. The sailor's life is not for me!"

Contrary to the grim nature of Bruno's joke, Captain Hermann von Humboldt laughed at it before making fun of the young general for his words.

'Oh? Are you perhaps not confident in your ability to swim General? Don't worry there are plenty of life preservers and rafts on board this ship. God forbids something happens on our journey. I'll make sure to toss you one!"

Seeing how the Captain was a good sport about his relatively crass remarks, Bruno responded to this banter with some of his own.

"Oh, I'm quite confident in my ability to swim. But I'm only human. The odds of me swimming to shore in the event that we sink in the middle of the ocean are virtually zero. But who knows, maybe mermaids really exist and will save my drowning ass because I'm so good looking. Though how I would face my wife afterward, I fear to even think about..."

The Captain laughed at Bruno's words, while pouring him another drink from the bottle of distilled spirits he had taken from his private stash for this occasion. He couldn't help but make a comment about that, and how his brother had been avoiding the topic of marriage lately.

"Speaking of, Erich is already in his mid-twenties, and still has yet to take a wife. He has rejected any attempts by the family to set him up with a good girl. I'm starting to think he might be into men...."

Silence remained for several seconds as Bruno drank from his liquor. He wanted to make it appear as if he knew something about Hermann's last remarks, but was unwilling to speak. In doing so, he caused Hermann to become quite anxious, as the man quickly spoke his thoughts aloud.

"Don't tell me that boy is, actually?"

Seeing this as an excellent opportunity to get back at Erich for some of the pranks which the man had played on Bruno during their years at the Academy, Bruno sighed heavily, before leaning in and whispering a little white lie to his friend's brother.

"You didn't hear this from me, but when we were in China together, I heard rumors... Now I can't confirm they are true, but.... From what I heard, Erich had a thing for the local erm... How do I put this? Crossdressers...."

Hermann's eyes opened wide when he heard this, it was clear that he was abundantly outraged from this revelation. Obviously, this was a lie on Bruno's parts. But it's not like Hermann was well educated on what happened in China outside of the German colony of Tsingtao where his ship would often dock.

Because of this, he fully believed Bruno's words, and stood up from his seat, tidying his uniform as he made one last comment to his guest before storming off to find his little brother.

"If you will excuse me, I believe I have some family affairs which I need to straighten out." After which, Hermann left the captain's quarters in a hissy fit. Where Bruno remained seated with a wicked smirk on his face. He silently sipped from his glass before finally uttering a remark when he was sure he was the only one who could hear himself speak.

"Well, this should provide some entertainment for the next few days..."

Needless to say, the chewing out that Erich received and suddenly at that from his older brother was deeply confusing and irritating. It took him all of two minutes to realize Bruno must have made up some bullshit to get him in trouble with his family.

And because of this, the man approached Bruno in his quarters. He had a smug smirk on his face, as he chuckled and admitted that Bruno had indeed got him good this time.

"You know, it took two hours to convince my brother that I was not a homosexual. He threatened to go to my family and have me cut off! All in all, I would have to say well played... But don't think that I'm just going to let this slide! I'm going to get you back for this by the time we arrive in Manchuria! Just you wait!"

Bruno scoffed and shook his head. He knew this would provoke a prank war between the two men, like they had waged during their years at the academy. After all, it had been less than a week on board this military vessel, and already Bruno was bored out of his mind.

Why else would he cause such drama? Entertainment was hard to come by while you were stuck on a ship for over a month without reprieve. And thus he responded to Erich with a smug tone in his voice.

"Challenge accepted. However, let's lay some ground rules. We are not allowed to do any pranks that cause injury either to one's person or character. At least not which can easily be overcome like the one I just did. Other than that, anything goes. Sound good?"

Erich nodded his head and quickly agreed to these terms with an equally confident tone of his

own.

"You're on! Just you wait, I'll have you on your knees begging for an end to this contest by the time the week is over!"

After saying this, Erich left Bruno's quarters. No doubt scheming how he would get back at the man for the shit he just pulled. As for Bruno, he himself was already in the middle of concocting a little surprise of his own.

In Bruno's hands was a crude device, one which he had fashioned on board the ship over the last two hours while Erich was being chewed out. It looked almost like a grenade. However, it was neither a fragmentation nor a concussion grenade. Both of which were lethal when detonated.

Rather, it was a rather crude flashbang. Well, that wasn't exactly accurate. It was more like those civilian legal "flashbangs" that were primarily used in airsoft matches during the 21st century. To put it simply, the device was made of a cardboard tube, with a small powder

charge within it.

Bruno had fashioned the device from materials found on board the ship, and had rigged it inside of Erich's trunk. So that the next time he opened the thing for a change of clothes it would go off, and in doing so temporarily disorient him.

It was not loud enough to cause permanent hearing damage, nor was the flash bright enough to blind him other than very briefly. Even so, Bruno had essentially invented the first flashbang, and for the purpose of trolling his friend and subordinate in a war of pranks.

Actually, now that Bruno thought about it, he had neglected the creation of concussion and fragmentation grenades for service in the army. Something he would no doubt have to remedy when he returned to the fatherland after this war in Manchuria was over.

For the rest of the evening, Bruno decided to spend his spare time reading a novel. That is until he heard a loud bang occur in the room next to his, followed by the screaming of his friend who had no doubt just triggered the booby trapped trunk.

The noise generated by the detonation of the flash grenade was no doubt enough to cause people to rush to the scene. Where they found Erich on the ground, disoriented while cursing

up a storm.

"Motherfucker! What in the holy fuck was that? Bruno! You fucking prick!"

Bruno quickly entered the scene, where the emergency crew had already stepped foot into the room looking to mitigate any damage that may have occurred as a result of the detonation they heard, as well as find the source of it.

Naturally, Bruno wouldn't admit to what he had just done. Instead, the man had his novel in one hand, and an ignorant façade on his face as he asked Erich just what the hell had happened

to him.

"Oh? What did I do? I was just minding my own business reading a novel when I heard a loud bang coming from your room. Naturally, as your good friend, I quickly came over to check on you. Thank the Lord you are alright!"

By now Erich had recovered his senses. He genuinely thought he had been caught up in an explosion and had died for a second there. As a result, he looked at Bruno, whose ignorant façade had switched into a devilish grin, and immediately decided getting back at Bruno was not a price he was willing to pay.

Because of this, Erich got to his feet and declared the Prank war was already over less than a day after it had begun.

"That's it you crazy motherfucker! I'm not playing your sick game anymore! This is over!"

After saying that Erich stormed off, he would get over his anger and admit that Bruno got the better of him. A few hours later, after sulking in silence. As for Heinrich who witnessed the whole affair, he could only shake his head and make a comment on his two closest friends and

their childish behavior.

"Fucking idiots..."