Reborn As An Evolving Monster

416  Go Out With A Bang!

It makes no sense. Absolutely no sense.

I was buying you time to leave from this place. I was going to die... And you were going to see the world.

But instead, you put yourself between me and Death.

Why?

To buy me a couple more seconds? This guy is a General! There's no way I can win. No way I can run away. No way I can...

What the hell was the point of that, Laylah?

You who never saw the world, you who has been stuck on the 'inside' for so long.

Why did you do that?

And why does it make me laugh so loudly?

The General decided to take his time now that you're bleeding out, dying.

It is kind of funny, isn't it?

He's toying with me. He's strong enough to toy with me.

It makes me laugh. Nôv(el)B\\jnn

I wonder if it's because he is that strong. It annoyed and angered me when the others did it. Zephyr, Lin, the other Commander...

But I'm not angry at all right now. Even though you sacrificed yourself for me, even though he's underestimating me, even though he's toying with me...

Maybe it's because there's absolutely no way for me to get out of this?

In the first place, I shouldn't get annoyed by another toying with me, with my life.

I've done it plenty of times, haven't I?

Toying with Beasts, Monsters, Guardians...

I'm going to die.

He is toying with me.

I'm going to die.

He is toying with me.

Why do I not feel angry? Why can't I conjure up that Darkness? Why don't I feel bad at all?

Oh, I get it...

"BE MORE ELECTRIFYING! I WANT TO SEE MORE SPARKS, MONSTER!!"

It's because he's just like me.

He toys with others for the same reason.

I lived once. As a Human, as a boy, as a cripple, as a young man filled with despair.

I'm facing Death once more.

The same Death. But it feels different.

I was... About to make the same mistake, wasn't I?

"Zino..." The white-scaled Monster whispered as it pushed itself off the ground.

I died on the same bed, in the same room, surrounded by the same walls that I had been surrounded by for so long.

I died in bed. Silently, quietly.

It's a horrible Death.

That's why I toy with them. That's why I don't want them to go easily. I want them to suffer! I want them to fight! I want them to...

"Thank you, Zino!" The white-scaled Monster shouted as a reddish Aura started oozing out of its body!

Electrifying! Sparkling!

I won't die quietly! The instant before certain Death... Fight with all you have! Make as much noise as you can! "SO YOU DO GET IT, MONSTER!!"

I'll shine as brightly as I can in the face of certain Death, then go out with a Bang!

"YOU'RE THE BEST!! WHITE-SCALED MONSTER!!" The General of Wrath shouted as a punch landed on his side!

Again and again... Against the Sixth Floor's Guardian, against the Fire Spirit, against...

Show me all that you have! Use everything! Shine as brightly as you can before Death!

The instant your heart stops beating... There won't be any Light anymore. You won't be able to shout, to move, to hit, to shine! So do it now! This is your last chance! Shine!

Do not die in your sleep, do not close your eyes, do not run away from it. You can't run away from it! So fight! Shine, one last time! Just like he did! The most beautiful Monster inside that Dungeon! The one that shone the brightest in the face of Death! The one who impressed me the most! The one that would have made me cry if I wasn't a Monster! The strongest who mistook me for another strong one! The one I want to be just like!

Faced with certain Death, I only realize it now! I want to be just like him! To go out just like him!

I am going to die. Against a General of Wrath, I am going to die.

But I don't feel bad at all. I don't feel angry... The only thing that matters is the way I go out!

That's right! I don't have to worry about anything! And because of that, I can accept everything! Everything that I couldn't accept before!

In front of Death, I can accept how horrible I really am.

Abandoning Krista... She's strong. She will be able to escape from that forest, from that place.

Hurting Elisa... No, that's not the real issue.

I hurt her, and I ran away. I ran away like a coward. I didn't apologize, I didn't explain myself. I... Simply ran away. After I got so angry on her behalf against Yarnha... How risible!

I hurt her and yet, what I was most worried about wasn't her pain. It wasn't what had happened, how she felt, how... No.

What I was most worried about was myself! I hurt her, and all I could think about was what it said about me! What it meant for me!

Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

That's what I was really worried about. About what it said about me as a person.

How laughable! How pathetic!

All I think about is me. All I worry about is me.

I was Reborn as a Monster, inside a Dungeon filled with Monsters.

Not once did I ask myself if the Monster in front of me was another Human just like me! A Human that had been Reborn as a Monster! I didn't ask myself that once!

No, I refused to ask myself that. I refused to even think about it.

Because I didn't care! How horrible!

But none of that matters now. How horrible I am, how nice I am, good and evil, ugly and beautiful...

None of it matters. Because I am going to die! All I have now is the way I'm going to die! All I have is these final moments!

Thank you Laylah, for foolishly sacrificing yourself for me.

Thank you Zino, for giving me this chance.

I am going to die. Laughter wells up within me!

Shine!

Go out with a Bang!

It's important to keep in mind what Mark means by "Toying with X" here. There were times when he inflicted pain on enemies unnecessarily, basically torturing them. This isn't what Mark refers to, and goes completely against his ideal. Mark is strictly talking about fights that he had drawn out, giving the chance for those enemies to "Shine". Examples would be the Fire Spirit, the Sixth Floor's Guardian as mentioned in the chapter(The Arachnae), the Corrupted Dark Elf Berserker, and others!

Remember that Zephyr told Mark about Unique Titles. That there is a definite(But hidden) link between his personality(Who he is as a person) and his Unique Titles(The Devourer and The Evolving Monster).

Letting those enemies shine in their final moments also gives them the chance to show everything that they have, everything that they are capable of doing. Mark wants to see them shine in the face of Death, The Devourer's hunger grows, and The Evolving Monster gets a better picture of what could be done with the enemies' bodies!

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I decided to expand on the idea here, instead of making the chapter longer(And therefore more expensive, Webnovel algorithm...) or having it be part of the next chapter.

I hope these thoughts were helpful in getting the full picture or/and interesting, if so please let me know. That way, I'll keep it in mind and continue doing it in the future.

I'm also going to re-read and re-write all of the novel's chapters. So far... Only three chapters have been re-edited... Finding the time is difficult...

Also, I've started a new novel! It might seem like that one is taking time away from "Reborn As An Evolving Monster", but it really isn't. After more than 400 chapters of plot, character development, and set-ups, writing what I envision is getting harder and harder. Additionally, the (pseudo)psychological nature of the novel is and has been taking a toll on me. Anyways...