Chapter 33 - Both - Healing What’s Broken
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Star
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I didn't really understand why, but when Artem was talking, when he was describing to me what had happened to his friend, I was just so overwhelmed with emotions. I knew he was hurting. I knew he had been hurting for a long time, and no one had been able to heal that broken heart of his.
If I could, I would heal him. Artem was working so hard on helping me to heal, helping me to feel safe, secure, and special. The least I could do was return that favor.
All I could think to do in that moment, though, was to hug him. The hugs I had gotten since being here, the ones from Chay and Artem, they had made me feel so calm, like nothing was bad enough to get to me anymore. I just wanted to give Artem some of that feeling.
I had leaned in close to him, sliding my arms up his and then around his neck. I pulled him to me, pulling him down so he could rest his head on my shoulder. His upper body was leaning against me. The heat of him, the feeling of his muscular body, it was all comforting to me in ways I didn't really want to think about at the moment.
I was holding him against me, rubbing his back gently, when the shock seemed to finally wear off for him. He wrapped his arms around me in return, holding me tight.
There were no words in that moment, he didn't have anything to say. He had felt tense, stiff and uncertain, when I had pulled him into my arms, but as time went on he seemed to be relaxing bit by bit.
His hands, resting in the small of my back, seemed so big, so strong, and so warm. He was so much bigger than me, so much stronger than me, that for a moment I found it strange that he was this vulnerable. But I guess physical strength and emotional strength are really very different if you think about it. I may not be a strong person, but I never gave up, I never let the bad things take over me and ruin my life. I'm certain that Artem was the same way too.
After a few minutes I felt Artem pull away from me. He kept his arms on my shoulders as he leaned back, looking down into my eyes. There was a tenderness in his eyes that made my heart sing and nearly hum as it started to beat so fast.
"Thank you, Star." He smiled softly and gently as he gazed lovingly down at me. I could see it now, I could see that he really did care for me, but I didn't know what I felt for him yet. It was too soon, too chaotic in my head and heart, for me to know what I was thinking or feeling when it came to Artem.
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Artem
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When Star had pulled me in for the hug I lost all ability to think for a moment. Just feeling her hands on my back, her body pressed against mine, it was enough to let the primal part of my mind think for a moment.
My wolf was busy purring like a cat inside my head, the damn beast didn't even seem to remember what he was anymore. I couldn't think of a way to stop him though, all I could think about was how lovely it felt to have her arms, body, and face pressing against me.
Her cheek was resting against the side of my head, her hair was right there by my nose where it seemed to rest at the bend from neck to shoulder. That was where I would plant my mate mark on her when she accepted me, when we finally mated with each other beyond just scenting. The intensity of her scent there, where it pooled so thickly, it was almost enough to drive me insane, mad with lust and desire.
I had to wrap my arms around her as well, to hold her to me. I had my hands resting in the small of her back where they seemed to be catching fire. There was a blaze somewhere, that was for sure.
Still, though, I was reluctant to break the hug. I wanted to keep feeling her close to me. I wanted to feel her comforting me while I comforted her right back. Together we would heal each other's wounds, mend our broken hearts.
After a while, I knew I needed to pull away from her. If I didn't I might turn her innocent hug into something more, something she was not ready for. I needed to get myself under control right now, I needed to think about Star.
With my love for her swelling within my heart, I pulled back from the hug. I placed my hands on her shoulders, reluctant to let her go completely. I could feel my heart swelling, the aching subsiding. Her warm, caring nature had done its job, it had helped me to think of my memories of Lenny with a calm heart. I think with her around, I might one day let myself fully heal, to fully let go of my past now that I have accomplished my goal.
When I looked down at her, down at the love filled eyes she was looking at me with, I knew then that I hadn't lost all hope, that things could definitely move forward with us eventually.
"Thank you, Star." I didn't know if I was thanking her for the hug or for the healing, or were they the same thing. Whatever you wanted to call it I would never forget what she had just done for me.
Once my heart had finally settled down from that escapade, the two of us got back to looking over the books I had brought. I felt like this whole thing brought us closer together, tore down walls so to speak. All in all, I think it was a great night, and the two of us were working on ways to heal what had been broken.