Chapter 39: 38
Klara could see a shadow in the darkness slowly stalking toward her bed, but she didn't feel the least bit scared. She already knew who the shadow belonged to since he came to visist her everynight. No! Not only visit, he did other things as well.
Klaras heart raced as he slowly neared her bed and then carefully removed the blanket. She was only wearing her nightgown which had slipped up and was now revealing her legs and thighs. He leaned down and then slowly traced his fingers up her leg and down her thigh.
Closing her eyes Klara could feel his fingers slowly sliding under her dress and his face came close to hers. His hot breath tickled her lips and she wondered if he would kiss her.
"Open your eyes, Klara." His musculine voice was low and made her shiver in anticipation.
She wanted him to kiss her. Just a bit closer and their lips would touch.
"Klara! Wake up!"
Just a bit closer..
"Klara!"
And closer….
"Klara..?"
A bit more...aaaand he kissed her!
Or maybe not. The kiss was too short, only a peck followed by a load feminine laugh that woke her up.
Klara shot her eyes open and looked around confused. What just happened?
"You..you.." Astrid could barely talk because she was laughing too much and rolling on her bed.
Klara sat up. "Whats wrong with you?" She asked rubbing her eyes.
"You…" Astrid stopped laughing and took a deep breath. "Ok sister. Now you need to tell me what or who you were dreaming of?."
Klara shrugged. "No one."
"Please. You were pouting your lips desperatly that I just had to give you a kiss, otherwise you wouldn't wake up." She chuckled.
Klaras cheeks burned. She had been dreaming of Roshan. Again!
Since she came back she hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. The way he had kissed her on the rooftop kept repeating itself in her mind and the taste of him still lingered on her lips.
Not only did he wander in her mind all day but also in her dreams all night. What if he had done something to her? It had to be that way because thinking about him this much was abnormal and annoying. She wanted to move on with her life especailly now when her brother had welcomed her back and wasn't forcing her to get married anymore.
Rasmus had been so angry when she came back and he scolded her like never before.
"Where have you been?" He had asked with clenched teeth.
Klara looked down terrified. Her brother could be really scary when he was angry.
"Answer me Klara! Where have you been?"
Klara couldn't tell him where she had been. It was too complictaed.
"Do you know how worried I was? Do you know all the things I imagined while you were gone? All the things that could have happened to you. I didn't even know if you were dead or alive. Do you know how that feels?"
"I am sorry." Klara apoligized. "But I had no other choice. I don't want to marry him."
Rasmus hit the table with his fist. "And I wouldn't force you if you had chosen one yourself and if you hadn't betrayed me." He yelled. " I raised you Klara. You and your sister were only eight when mother and father died. I took care of you both. I raised you, I fed you, I clothed you and I protected you and how do you repay me?"
It was true. Her brother had done everything for her. He had raised her into a strong woman and made sure she had everything she needed. He always treated her with love and respect, so she could understand that he was hurt by her actions.
"I am sorry." Tears filled her eyes bacause of guilt.
Rasmus sighed. "I thought you were dead when I couldn't find you."
"I am sorry." She repeated. The tears fell down her cheeks.
Her brother looked her up and down. "Are you unharmed?"
She nodded.
"Come here." He opened his arms and Klara went to hug him.
Oh, she had really missed her family. "I am sorry."
"It's alright." He said stroking her hair.
"Please brother. I don't want to marry him. I promise to choose one myself."
Rasmus grabbed her face. "You better hurry. You are twentytwo, Klara. All the women in your age are already married. If you don't get married now no one will marry you."
"I know." Klara said.
Most girls got married as soon as they turned seventeen if not before. Klara knew she was very late with the whole marriage thing but she didn't think she would be. She never expected Lucian to be already married when he came to visit them.
None of it mattered now. Her brother wanted her to find someone soon and her sister had already arranged for her to meet some suiters.
Klara didn't look forward to it but she knew she had to go through with it eventually. Unfortunatly none of them caught her interest
One of them only kept talking about himself and the other only spoke of war and politics. Klara could see that he only saw her as a weapon to gain more power.
One kept praising her beauty the whole meeting which made her uncomfortable and one barely said anything and she had to lead the conversation. Some of them she didn't even listen to because her mind drifted to Roshan. That man had occupied her mind and she couldn't help but compare every man to him. Unfortunatley none of them made her feel anything close to what Roshan made her feel.
"You seem disappointed." Astrid noted.
"I mean they are all good looking and powerful, but...I...I don't know. I don't feel anything." Klara said frustration clear in her tone.
"The feelings will come." Her sister assured.
"What if they don't? What if I never feel anything for anyone and then I have to marry one of them?" The though terrified her.
"What do you think of Noah? He is handsome and charming, even funny."
Yes Noah. He had been the only charming one of the bunch and he was very good looking as well. He aslo seemed to listen to her and not only talk, but her mind had been elsewhere.
Roshan.
He was the problem. She needed to deal with him first before she could fokus on finding a suitor.
At night when everyone went to sleep Klara locked herself inside her room. She grabbed the necklace that Roshan gave her and then she called him inside her mind. It was crazy, but she hoped it would work. When nothing happened she tried again only this time she whispered his name.
"Roshan."
She waited for a while and when nothing happened she gave up and decided to go to bed, but just then she heard his voice.
"Hello princess."
Klara turned and found him standing next to her bed. He looked as handsome as she remembered, if not more. He wore a royal blue shirt that sat loosely on his torso and a pair of black trousers. His hair seemed wet or maybe it was the dim light that made it glow, either way he looked excuisite.
"You came." Was the only thing she managed to say.
"I thought you wouldn't need me." He said taking a few steps toward her.
His male energy seemed to already effect her because her heart began to race as he came closer.
"I don't. I just want you to undo whatever it is you have done to me." She crossed her arms over her chest.
"And what have I done to you?" He asked with a frown.
"You know what you have done. Just undo it." She ordered.
"I can't undo it if I don't know what it is."
"You're doing your demon thing...manipulating me to...to think about you all the time. I just want you to leave my head." She sounded frustrated.
Roshan took a step forward looking at her carefully. "You were thinking about me?" He sounded surprised but pleased.
"Yes, because you are in my head and now I want you to leave." She tried to sound calm but failed. Not that Roshan seemed to care. He was busy enjoying the situation.
Crossing the distance between them he grabbed her chin. "Listen princess. If I am inside your head it's becaue you are thinking about me and not because I am manipulating you. If I wanted to do that I would have had you pinned to my bed by now."
His eyes held hers. Klara could see the l.u.s.t in those Hazel eyes combined with something else she couldn't understand, but whatever it was brought a fluttering feeling to her stomach.
Annoyed by the way he made her feel she drew away from his hold.
Roshans lips curved into a knowing smile. "Admit it princess. You want me."
"I don't." She hurried to say as if trying to convince herself.
"You said it yourself, that you have been thinking about me." He reminded. "If you don't want me I'll just leave and you can keep thinking about me. Or...you could actually have me."
God, he was so convincing. What did he expect from her? To tell him to stay and do what?
Pin her to his bed. Well, it would be her bed now. Was she really believing that he didn't manipulate her? Then she would have to admit that she indeed had been thinking about him. No, not only thinking but dreaming and fantasizing as well. Shame on her. If he hadn't kissed her like that on the roof top she wouldn't have thinking about him this much.
Oh great! Now she was blaming him when she has kissed him back willingly. God, what was she suppsed to do with him? Or with herself?
"You are a demon." She said not sure where she was going with it.
"Yes, I am. And?"
"And...and nothing! I just want you to leave me alone." She was desperate to stop thinking about him.
Roshan raised a brow. "I would have, if that was truly what you wanted."
You don't know what I want, she wanted to say but the look in his eyes told her he knew very well. Deep down she knew as well, she just had to admit to herslef.
"Have a good night Roshan." She said turning away from him and when she turned back he was gone. He didn't even say goodnight. Was he angry with her?
She shouldn't care but she did and it kept bothering her the whole night.
The day after she met Noah. Klara tried really hard this time to forget about Roshan and focus on the man infront of her. Noah was tall, with beautiful long brown hair that reached his shoulders. His dark brown eyes were as warm as his smile and he had a dimple on his left cheek. He was not only goodlooking but smart as well, yet Klara felt nothing as she walked with him in their garden while he spoke of his travels around the worlds. He had seen a lot and Klara could tell that's how he gained his wisdom, by meeting new people and learning different cultures. He would be a perfect match for her. She knew it but she didn't feel it.
"So, what do you think?" Astrid asked when Klara came back.
"I like him." Klara said simply.
"Really?" He sister sounded pleased.
Klara nodded. "Yes."
"But...do you just like him?" Astrid knew something wasn't right.
"Yes. I am not interested in love."
It was true. Noah was a perfect match for her, besided she wasn't looking for love. She didn't believe in love anymore. Those things happened only in stories. In real life love wasn't a good thing. It was something that could hurt you, that could make you selfish and stupid and something that people could use against you. Why would she need such thing?
"Love is not an interest. Its a feeling that you can't help and if you don't feel it then you just don't." Astrid explained.
That was the problem. Klara thought that she could never love again. What she felt for Roshan was just an attraction and what she felt for Noah was only respect.
"Love is not a necessity."
Her sisters expression turned somehow into a sad one. "I know you are hurt but it's not going to hurt everytime."
"No, but it can hurt a second time." And Klara couldn't handle a second time.
No she couldn't. She could not fall in love with a demon! That was a big no!