Return of the Runebound Professor

Chapter 513: The Noah Special

“The first step to finding a solution is admitting that you have a problem,” Moxie said as she prodded Noah in the forehead. “And you have a problem.”

“I’m pretty sure that only works if I’m the one to admit that I’ve got a problem.” Noah rubbed the back of his neck. “And I’m not just doing this for no reason, Mox. I’m pretty sure it’s the best way to form a Matter Rune.”

“I’m sure you think — wait, Mox?”

“I thought it sounded cute. Like a short version of Moxie, you know? I’ll scrap it and think of something better. It’s not like I can call you Mo. That’s like Moo, and I’m not trying to imply—”

Moxie leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, stealing the rest of his sentence. She pulled back a few seconds later. “I wanted to get that in before you turn into a corpse. And Mox is just fine. Sounds a bit dumb, but I don’t think I could expect anything else from you. No need to dig yourself a hole trying to come up with something worse.”

“Thanks for the save,” Noah said with a sheepish grin. “Does this mean you’ll kiss me every time I kill myself?”

“Don’t push your luck,” Moxie said dryly. “Just get it over with already. And be careful.”

“I’m not sure this is something where being careful is possible, but I’ll do my best to keep any blood from getting on the bed.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. The plants will just drink it,” Moxie said with a small wave.

“What did you think would happen? I’m making them from all sorts of organic matter. Blood and meat… it’s all fuel in the end. Works just as well.”

“That’s not terrifying at all,” Noah said. “We’ve been sleeping on a bed of blood-sucking plants?”

“The floor is nice and open if you want it. Nobody’s forcing you.”

Noah looked down at the hard ground, then back up to Moxie. He cleared his throat. “On second thought, the man-eating bed is lovely. It’s very well behaved. It would be rude of me to try and sleep elsewhere after the bond we’ve formed.”

Moxie rolled her eyes and turned away, but not before Noah caught a flicker of a grin pulling across her lips. She reached for the tent flaps and glanced over her shoulder at him. “I’ll go get Lee to clean up your mess. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled.”

“Thanks. Much appreciated.” Noah slipped out of his jacket and tossed it across the room before starting to pull his shirt off. He paused when he noticed that Moxie was still watching him and raised an eyebrow. “Did you decide to stick around?”

“I’d consider it if you weren’t about to blow yourself up. Have fun, but not too much of it.” Moxie slipped out of the tent and the flap fell shut behind her.

Noah stared at it for a second, then blew out a sigh. That was definitely the most convincing argument she’d had against him killing himself. It was almost enough to actually make him look for a different solution.

Almost, but not quite.

Maybe I do have a problem.

He pulled the rest of his clothes off, removing the face wrappings last. There wasn’t even all that much need for them at this point — he’d already established Spider as a fairly powerful demon, so having a completely normal looking human form probably wouldn’t be able to draw that much more negative attention. Unfortunately, the wrappings were basically part of Spider’s identity now. He couldn’t just get rid of them on a whim.

Noah tossed all his clothes to the side and grabbed his large grimoire, propping it open against the table before sitting down in front of it. He was going to need to move quickly once he got things started. The method wouldn’t be too different from what he’d done when he’d made the Crumbling Space Rune. He’d carve the runes up to their base components and split those apart as well, using nothing but the pure raw energy and his intent to form the rune he needed.

It wasn’t a technique he’d be able to use for every combination. He needed to have a way to trigger the inciting energy and create a Rune. Fortunately, this time around, Noah had just the strategy to pull it off.

“You just sit here and wait,” Noah told the grimoire. “I might need to dump a few runes in you after I’m done working. No point wasting good magic. No eating them, you got me? I’ll feed you more monster runes later.”

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

The pages fluttered. He wasn’t sure if that was the equivalent of assent or a paper middle finger. Noah shrugged to himself. If the grimoire didn’t do what he wanted, it wasn’t going to get any more food. It knew how their deal worked — and he could always kill himself again if he needed to.

Noah closed his eyes and placed a palm on the grimoire. Then he sank into the darkness of his mindspace. Runes bloomed from the black sea around him, their pressure bearing down on him.

He wasted no time in pulling Crumbling Space toward himself. He was making a Matter Rune, but Matter and Space were so closely related that he couldn’t imagine not trying to take advantage of that.

Noah pressed his hand to the crackling surface of the rune and peeled power from within it, taking around 15 percent of the rune’s total energy and gathering it inside himself. He traced faint purple lines through the air with his other hand, re-drawing a copy of Crumbling Space in his soul.

The new rune thrummed to life and a ripple of power rolled out from it, prickling against Noah’s skin as it passed him by. He now had two Crumbling Space Runes — one at 15 percent full, and the other at just around 30.

It’s a good thing that I got that extra energy from hunting in the Damned Plains, or breaking Crumbling Space up wouldn’t have left me too much to work with. This makes everything so much easier.

Noah let the copy with more energy drift back, keeping the weaker one at his side. He drew the two Matter Runes that he’d just drawn into his soul closer to himself as well and gathered the three Rank 4s in the air before him. Noah then let out a slow breath and raised a hand.

Immense weight bore down on him as Sunder responded to his call. The Master Rune lowered and brushed against Noah’s fingertips. Energy screamed into his body and his veins turned jet black as it raced beneath his skin.

I finally get the opportunity to see what happens if I Sunder a Rune that I made from scratch. This will be interesting.

Noah touched the Unstable Mass Rune. Power raced down his fingertips and into the rune. It split apart with a loud crack as Sunder carved through it. Runes swirled out from within it, rising to swirl around Noah.

He didn’t give them the grace to finish forming. Sunder lashed out like a striking snake, shattering every single one of the Rank 3 Runes in rapid succession. More runes ballooned forth, and more were carved apart.

In seconds, Noah took a Rank 4 Rune and reduced it to nothing but shimmering, raw power. It prickled against his skin and charged the very air he breathed — even though he was pretty sure he didn’t actually need to breathe inside his own soul.

Noah didn’t waste even a second examining the results of his work. He summoned Unstable Corrupted Mass and repeated the process, splitting every single component of it down into nothing but pure magic.

He drew the clouds of smokey, multicolored power around himself like streamers with a thought. They swirled and danced, tiny particles already drifting and fading away into the ether. No traces of panic entered his movements. Rushing would only result in greater chances for something to go wrong, and Noah only had one shot at this.

There was only one rune left to split apart. He brought the copy of Crumbling Space closer to himself. Aches wracked his body from channeling so much of Sunder’s power, but he couldn’t stop yet.

Noah gritted his teeth and called upon the Master Rune once more. His veins darkened and he clenched one fist as he raised the other toward Crumbling Space. His fingers trembled as they brushed across the surface of the rune.

Time to see what happens when I split this thing apart.

He released Sunder. A black line flashed down the center of the copied rune. Energy crackled along its path for a split instant. Then it shattered, releasing a wave of pure power with enough intensity to blow his hair back.

No runes formed from the broken rune. It was like he’d just split apart a Rank 1 Rune, even though it had been a Rank 4. Noah didn’t have time to fully contemplate the meaning of that yet. He’d get around to it when he wasn’t so pressed for time. For now, he was just thankful that he wouldn’t have to keep using Sunder.

Noah released the Master Rune and it rose up into the air to return to its place in his soul. Energy filled all the free space around him, dancing and burning with an intensity that would only fade with every instant he let go to waste.

There were only two steps left to do, and the first was the easiest. He had to kill himself. Noah had gotten pretty damn good at that, which probably wasn’t something to be proud of, but he had a new idea to beat even his fastest previous record.

Natural Disaster drifted to Noah’s palm as he drew on a flicker of its energy and directed it inward, toward the top of his neck where it met his skull. He was pretty sure that —

A sharp, buzzing zap filled Noah’s ears. There was a flash of a burnt scent, followed by the walls of his Mindspace crumbling away to reveal the real world once more. Disorientation washed over Noah and he found himself raising into the air, looking down at his own body as it crumpled and pitched face-first onto the ground.

Lee stood behind him, his gourd in her hand, watching him as her expression shifted between nervousness and eagerness. Even despite his need to work quickly, Noah blinked in surprise.

Well, I’ll be damned. That was a whole lot faster than I expected. Didn’t hurt too much either. Good to know.

A faint tug pulled at Noah’s neck from the direction of the gourd. He welcomed it. After all, death wasn’t what he needed to form his new rune. What he needed was what came after. The reformation of life, when the gourd gave him a new body.

Noah didn’t understand how the gourd worked. He didn’t even completely get how Matter as a concept functioned. Fortunately, he didn’t have to. He didn’t need to make a flawless rune on the first time around. All he needed to do was take the first step. The rest would come in time as he grew to understand it.

A grin split his lips as his soul was yanked back down into his gourd to the new body that was starting to form in the black smoke pouring from its lip. The inciting energy was there.

He could feel his body forming around him, providing the inciting energy he’d need. All the power from his Sundered Runes waited within his soul. He had everything he needed. It was time to form his next Rank 4 Rune.