Return of the Runebound Professor

Chapter 543: Don't even think about it

Zath’s offer worked.

To say Noah was surprised would have been an understatement. For some reason, he’d been convinced the demons would have jumped into some massive argument that eventually devolved into a city-wide brawl.

Instead, Zorin just shrugged and nodded his assent.

And that was how Noah, half wondering if he’d somehow failed to wake up from a dream, found himself strolling through the streets of Treadon with Belkus’ commander, the Harbinger of Sievan, a Rank 3 Knowledge Demon, and a masked future-seeing child that was most certainly not actually a child.

Noah was still trying to figure out exactly how things had ended up going this way when the universe decided that they hadn’t quite added enough oddities to the group. Something soft and as immovable as a boulder lodged itself in front of his foot.

He tripped, stumbling and barely catching himself an instant before he fell flat on his face. Irritation played across Noah’s face as he spun toward the source of his surprise attack, already more than aware of who the perpetrator was before he caught sight of them. There was only one being in the universe that consistently insisted on placing itself directly in front of his path when he wasn’t looking.

Mascot sat curled in the center of the street, grooming his rear. He glanced up at Noah, the reddish-purple spines running along his back humming with faint energy, and tilted his head to the side as if to ask why the clumsy human hadn’t been watching their step.

“There is a creature,” Zorin observed.

“Unfortunately, this one is my creature,” Noah said, scooping Mascot up and holding the cat out before him like a toddler with a full diaper. The cat extended, somehow nearly doubling in length as he stretched toward the ground. Mascot glared at Noah. Claws pushed free of his feet.

“The creature isn’t pleased with anyone,” Noah said. He lifted Mascot up to his shoulders. The cat clawed onto him, sticking to his shoulder like a prickly burr. He turned back to Zorin and gestured impatiently. “Don’t mind the furball.”

“I have never seen a monster such as this one,” Zorin said, studying Mascot with undisguised curiosity. “Is it dangerous?”

“Eh. He’s done his best, but he hasn’t managed to kill me yet. Isn’t that right?” Noah asked.

Mascot’s head slowly turned so he could look into Noah’s eyes, moving so slowly that he could practically hear stone grinding against stone in his mind.

“I do not think it is done trying to kill you,” Zath said. “Your creature bears death on its breath.”

“Eh. It hasn’t killed anyone too important yet.” Noah paused for a moment. “I think. I wouldn’t make bets on it. He’s a vindictive little shit. Isn’t that right buddy? You’re a vindictive little shit, aren’t you?”

He scratched at the side of Mascot’s neck. The cat purred — and made absolutely no move to unlock its legs or remove its claws from his skin. Noah glanced back to the other demons and gestured impatiently.

“You are bleeding,” Zorin said.

“Thank you,” Noah said. “I am aware. Can we get this on with? I’m a busy person. I have a schedule to keep.”

“Lord Belkus may not allow the creature into his sanctum. He is a very neat demon,” Zorin warned. “He despises mess of all sorts. If your creature does not behave itself, it may cause trouble.”

Noah glanced at Mascot. “He… he’s great at behaving himself. Very neat, too. Never once has he so much as made a single mes—”

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The cat’s body contorted. Mascot let out a hack, then spit a hairball out onto the ground. The group of demons stared at it. Zorin’s eyes lifted back to Noah.

“Please don’t ask me to back you up on that,” Aylin whispered, keeping his voice low enough that only Noah could hear it. “It’s really difficult for me to lie.”

Noah wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or sigh. He just inclined his head slightly, then cleared his throat. “Don’t worry about it. Fact of the matter is, I don’t think we could get rid of him if we wanted to. Mascot goes where he pleases.”

Zorin lifted a hand toward the cat. Yoru’ s head tilted to the side. She stiffened.

“Stop!” Yoru barked.

Zorin froze. “What? I was going to remove the creature.”

“If you touch the furball, you die,” Yoru said flatly. “Hands off. Don’t even look in that thing’s direction. You can try touching it after we’ve met Belkus.”

“How do you know that?” Zath asked, curiosity tinging his voice.

“I can touch the creature safely after we make it to Belkus?” A confused frown creased Zorin’s face. “What changes? Why does it matter when I touch it?”

“I just don’t care if you die after Spider has been introduced,” Yoru said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Zorin’s frown deepened. He studied Mascot for a moment, then pulled his hand back and shook his head. The demon started back down the street, and the rest of them followed after him.

Blood trickled down Noah’s arm and soaked into his sleeve as they continued. It wasn’t even like the wounds Mascot made were that big. The cat just kept re-opening them. He was pretty sure the stupid thing had gotten fatter since they’d last met.

Probably eating something important.

Noah wasn’t sure how he felt about Mascot rocking up to a meeting at this level of importance, but it wasn’t like he could get rid of the cat even if he’d wanted to. Time and time again had proved that the little monster generally had his best interests in mind, if only because it found them amusing. Trying to lose Mascot would probably just end up in the cat returning with a bigger and badder monster chasing after it.

Fortunately, the rest of the roughly hour-long trip went smoothly. None of them spoke any more, though Zath’s eyes lingered on Yoru more than once. The black-armored demon was definitely curious as to who she was — or perhaps Zath had the same ability that Axil did and Yoru’s canvas was really interesting.

Zorin came to a stop at a black gate before an enormous, six-story tall cross between a mansion and a palace. Spires rose up into the air from the huge building, bulbous tops thinning to points like the barbs of a scorpion’s tail. It was made of black stone with twisting veins of wood running throughout it — an impressive display of wealth in the Damned Plains, where wood was hard to come by.

A guard by the gate pulled it open, granting them entry to the obsidian path that led up to a pair of massive, beautifully carved double doors. They depicted a scene from a battle that Noah suspected he probably would have recognized had he known anything about the history of the Damned Plains.

“Come,” Zorin said as he led them down the path. The doors slid open silently, each one pulled by a butler, and they stepped into a long hallway floored with soft, red carpet. There was no decoration of any sort on the walls or ceiling, which felt rather odd given the grandiose nature of the mansion.

What stood out the most to Noah as he and the others followed Zorin inside was just how clean everything was. There wasn’t so much as a speck of dust on the walls or in the corners of the doorways.

It was completely spotless.

Noah sent a pointed glance at Mascot.

Don’t even think about it.

The cat just stared at him. Noah repressed a sigh. There wasn’t any bargaining with Mascot. He wasn’t sure why Mascot had showed up in the first place, but the little monster only tended to appear when it got the feeling something amusing was about to happen.

And, as Noah glanced around the group following Zorin down the halls, he got the feeling he knew exactly why Mascot had decided this might be an event worth witnessing.

The hallway opened up into a massive amphitheater-sized room. At its far end was a pair of huge double doors, strikingly similar to the ones at the building’s entrance. The massive room continued off to the side, its ceiling easily one hundred feet up in the air. It, like the rest of the mansion, was floored in red rug and had no further decoration aside from the carved doors. Even the walls and ceiling were plain.

“We have arrived,” Zorin said as he came to a stop before the doors and braced his hands against them. “Lord Belkus awaits you beyond these doors.”

Noah’s eyes sharpened. No matter what company he’d inadvertently dragged with him, he couldn’t afford to let his guard down. Belkus was a powerful demon — and a potential tool to dealing with Wizen, if Noah played his cards right.

Well, that or a powerful enemy. I did kind of steal the underground of his city from him and murder one of his subordinates. But that’s basically the equivalent of a demon ‘hello’, isn’t it?

Suppose we’re about to find out.

“Well then, we’d best get on with it,” Noah said with a cold smile. “I’d hate to keep him waiting.”