The Best Director

Chapter 153: Kung Fu

The vast Mojave Desert, at the roadside of the endless highway, a beat-up Mercedes sports car was parked on the sandy ground, facing a fierce black Hummer off-road vehicle. Wearing a black leather jacket and sunglasses, Michelle Rodriguez stood in front of the Hummer with her arms crossed, flanked by two muscular men with meaty faces; while the trio stood in front of the Mercedes.

Two film cameras were set up in front of them, one naturally capturing Michelle’s side and the other filming the trio, with Wang Yang, Harry George, and other members of the production team working nearby. In the far back were the crew’s trucks, buses, and several private cars parked.

All the indoor shots had been completed, and this outdoor scene was about the trio heading to the desert for a rendezvous with the gangsters after winning enough money at the casino to buy back Doug from the mobsters at the agreed time.

Looking at the three ridiculous men opposite her, Michelle’s face was full of disdain as she snapped her fingers twice and ordered, “Bring him out.” As soon as she finished speaking, one of her bald musclemen pulled out a person from the Hummer, head covered in a white hood, hands tied. Zack, Bradley, and Ed immediately shouted excitedly, “Doug! Doug!” Michelle roughly pushed Doug, cursing, “Give me the money, or I’ll kill all of you bitches!”

Soon, with no other choice, the defeated trio hurled the money at her, and as the bald muscleman removed Doug’s white hood, they exclaimed in shock, only to see Will Smith with his mouth sealed with black tape, struggling and “mmphing.”

Oh, FUCK! Who the hell is this guy!?” Bradley furiously shook his hand and yelled, “Miss Miller, we asked for Doug, Doug!” Zack looked utterly bewildered, and Ed clenched his fists, screaming. Michelle was also surprised, questioning, “What the shit are you talking about? He is Doug!” Unable to hold back, Ed roared, “We asked for a white guy!”

That’s not my damn problem,” Michelle said with disinterest, pulling a face and gesturing with her hand. The bald muscleman peeled the tape off Will’s mouth, and Will Smith immediately began cursing, “I’ve been telling you you’ve got the wrong guy! Brain-dead bimbo! Alan! What the fuck are you up to! I’ve been locked up in there for a day now, nearly scared to death, what the fuck’s going on!?”

Seeing that they seemed to know each other, Bradley couldn’t help but ask in amazement, “Alan, who is this guy?” Zack frowned and said, “He seems to be the guy who sold me ecstasy.” Will shouted, “I don’t sell any fucking ecstasy!” Bradley, impatient, looked at Michelle and demanded, “Where’s Doug? Where’s Doug!?”

Will Smith, visibly angry, yelled, “MAN, I am Doug!” Bradley turned his head and snapped, “I thought you were Will Smith!” Will immediately looked proud, flashing a grin and boasting, “Yeah MAN, lots of people say I look a lot like him, but he’s not as handsome or cool as me. Plus, see this? He doesn’t have this mole here.” He turned his face to show a large black mole stuck on his right cheek.

Who gives a shit about that crap!” Bradley was on the verge of losing it; Zack laughed heartily and said to Will, “You’re also called Doug, classic misunderstanding.” On the other side, Michelle let out a strange chuckle and remarked, “A bunch of dumbasses, let’s go.”

Finally, Wang Yang managed to hold back his laughter, stopping the film camera with a “CUT! Not bad!” They had been shooting this part of the scene for nearly a morning, trying many different versions to get the effect. Will Smith had an easy time with this minor character, delivering comedy effortlessly; the trio was also performing well, only tense for a moment before regaining composure in front of the film star, though Michelle seemed a bit lacking.

Upon the call to cut, everyone laughed openly. Unable to hear the dialogue from a distance, Jaden Smith, led by an assistant, bounced towards his dad after hearing from his mom, “Dad is going to play with Yang,” insisting on coming along. Wang Yang said with a smile, “Let’s rest a bit before we continue shooting, Michelle, come with me for a second.” He walked aside and Michelle followed, responding with an “OK.”

Misha, you still seem a bit reserved, not fully getting into it,” Wang Yang shrugged, his feet sinking into the soft sand as he looked at Michelle’s face, full of wild beauty. “Actually, I don’t need you to be too bizarre, to abandon your own temperament. I need your attitude because that, after post-production and scoring, will give me the effect I want.”

Michelle nodded, following his steps, and asked, “Then how do you want me to act? Just tell me.” Wang Yang couldn’t help but smile; she was very straightforward and impatient. “I can’t just tell you because it’s you acting, not me. I’m not sure how it should be done, you know I’m just a guide.”

A good actor can immerse in the script and then step out of it. I have no particular demands for this role right now.” He looked at Michelle, who was listening attentively, and said with a smile, “I just need a fun ‘Michelle Rodriguez,’ you get what I mean?” Michelle seemed to half understand, “Maybe.” Suddenly, Wang Yang raised his voice, “Play!”

He looked at the trio clowning around with Jaden in the distance and guided, “When playing a drama, you immerse yourself, feel earnestly, act earnestly; but now, for a comedy, we should have fun acting. That way, we can unleash more interesting expressions, movements, and spontaneous dialogue. You have confidence, you have personality, but you’ve been acting too serious and subdued. You can be sensually wild, violently wild, and humorously wild, you understand?”

Alright, I’ll try,” Michelle nodded emphatically again. Wang Yang glanced at her with a laugh, “Misha, you’re not designing an assembly line, you’re improvising.” He patted her shoulder and walked back toward the rest of the crew.

Looking at this director, who was even two years younger than herself, Michelle smiled and followed behind him, a bit curious she asked, “Why did you actually invite me to play this role? I’m not a funny person to begin with. Wang Yang turned back and looked at her with confusion, saying, “Haven’t I said it before? Suitable! Of course.” He swung his fists energetically, making the air pop, and laughed, “You’re definitely best on the tough route, like in Girlfight, very cool.”

Michelle laughed heartily, suddenly remembering two years ago at the Sundance Film Festival, he had said the same thing, “You’re even tougher and wilder than Angelina Jolie.” He had also mentioned the opportunity to work together, but she was never interested in those campus movies, although he also said, “I wouldn’t pick you for a youth campus film,” she always thought he would chose her for roles like tough and violent women, not expecting it to be a comedy.

For a long time, she had thought his words were just a courtesy, because. Michelle said in a forthright manner, “I thought you only liked those super sweet and delicate looking girls.”

No, not just those.” Wang Yang couldn’t help laughing, he shrugged his shoulders and laughed, “I also like women who are wild and tough, by the way, I suggested Jessica take a route like yours.” Michelle smiled with confusion, “Really? Which route of mine?”

Wang Yang nodded with a smile. Jessica would soon be leaving behind her teen idol movies, so how would she develop her acting path afterwards? After a quick glance over the messy films she would otherwise be doing, he more or less had an answer. He laughed, “Adventure, action, martial arts, tough. I told her, ‘Forget your pretty face, you have that kind of aura.’ It’s going to be tough, but your body will be kept in great shape, haha.”

You little jerk.” Michelle burst into laughter too. Wang Yang winked at her and added, “Another thing, the reason I invited you was to get you addicted to making comedies, so that Jessica would have one less screen rival.”

Michelle, holding her fist, swung at him and laughed, “Then you really are a jerk! Taste my punch!”

Seeing her ‘crazy’ appearance, Wang Yang didn’t care about the coarse language, he was actually quite happy inside, and laughed, “Your punches are weak.”

I hear you know Kung Fu?” Michelle sized him up with interest, her tall figure and strong muscles seemed capable to fight. Wang Yang nodded, “Yeah, been practicing since I was a kid, that’s the real tough part.” Michelle stopped in her tracks, smiling, “How about a match between you and me?”

Wang Yang furrowed his brow in confusion for a moment and retorted, “What?” Michelle, eager to fight, swung her fist and said, “Let’s have a match!” Wang Yang looked her up and down with a frown, she was less than 170cm tall and a woman, he shook his head and laughed, “No, you wouldn’t want that.”

Not convinced, Michelle got into a boxing stance and said, “You think I’m a Barbie doll? I grew up fighting, and I’ve trained in boxing! Come on, let’s see some Kung Fu, it’s just a friendly match!” She hooked her finger provokingly, “Come on!”

Hmm…” Wang Yang looked at her with amusement for a long time, as he hadn’t fought or had a friendly match in a long while, let her go crazy then. He chuckled and raised his fists as well, saying, “Alright, a little competition it is.” Michelle’s lips curled up in satisfaction and she bumped his fist, “That’s more like it!”

Extra, extra—Wang Yang and Michelle are going to fight! Wang Yang and Michelle are going to fight!” Joshua, holding the director’s microphone and standing on a prop box, shouted, “The amazing director VS the tough actress the battle is about to explode! The match will be no-rules combat, but no hurting allowed! Extra—extra—”

Suddenly, everyone on the desert set gathered around, laughing and calling out as Wang Yang and Michelle stood on the yellow sand between two groups of people, two meters apart. Zack, Bradley, and Ed waved their hands and shouted, “Do we need tickets?” “I’m rooting for the girl!” Will Smith, holding Jaden, also whistled; Harry-George, carrying a camera, laughed, “Director, fight well, I’ve got the recording! There goes the DVD extra!”

Hey, Yang! Don’t hurt the girl,” Joshua’s laughter echoed far and wide. Like a boxer, Michelle bumped her fists together and roared, “You people, watch Girlfight!” Female members of the crew immediately clapped and screamed, shouting, “Take him down!” ”

Beat him up!”

Seeing the crazy crowd around, Wang Yang spread his hands and laughed, “I kind of don’t want to fight anymore, it feels like bullying a girl.” Michelle’s face was full of defiance, and she said, “MAN, quit the crap, COME ON!” Wang Yang stopped talking and started to lightly move his body, clenching his hands into fists facing her. Michelle, somewhat puzzled, asked, “That’s not a Kung Fu stance, is it? Doesn’t look like it.”

Although there are many kinds of Kung Fu stances, what he was doing at the moment was indeed not Bajiquan, Wang Yang laughed, “I won’t use Kung Fu first, I’m afraid of hurting you.” He hadn’t used Bajiquan in a long time when fighting, usually just free fighting, Bajiquan’s moves and style were all very power-driven, meant to hurt people on contact, and although he could control himself, any accidents would be serious.

What he learned wasn’t that commercialized, child’s play, flashy type of Bajiquan, the fists of someone trained from a young age were no joke, a full-force punch could probably fracture a girl of Michelle’s weight.

Looking down on me?!” Michelle’s face was full of anger and provocation, “Bring out your best!” The crowd around started to shout, “Please, show something!” Wang Yang thought quickly about his control ability, feeling it wouldn’t be a problem, he stopped moving erratically, steadied his lower body, and extended his fists a bit longer, laughing, “OK, as you wish! Bring it on!”

Michelle let out a long roar and charged with her fists swinging, throwing punches nonstop towards Wang Yang’s face. Having likely trained in boxing since she was young, she didn’t pull any punches.

As he clearly saw her punches coming, Wang Yang kept smiling, continually retreating and dodging left and right. The kicked-up sand from the ground began to fly, and the crew members around them kept cheering and shouting, creating a festive and tense atmosphere as if it were a championship match.

Hey, you bastard, why do you always dodge!” Michelle yelled after a flurry of punches that failed to hit their mark, clearly annoyed as she shouted, “Ah!” and swung her right fist again.

This time, Wang Yang didn’t retreat. He swiftly sidestepped, grabbed her right elbow as fast as the wind, twisted it with force, and tripped her right foot. Michelle cried out in pain, “Ah,” and as Wang Yang took advantage of the momentum, he threw her off-balance and onto the sandy ground—of course, he didn’t use much force, nor did he kick her fibula.

Amidst the “Oh!” of the crowd’s gasps, he swiftly completed the move, crouching and bending over to throw a right punch downward towards Michelle’s throat. His light fist stopped just above her throat. Seeing her face overwhelmed with surprise, he laughed, “It’s over. If I had put my strength into this punch, using all my power, you would be dead.”

“Wow!” Joshua exclaimed in awe, his eyes wide in disbelief, thinking, “Incredible! I’ve known Yang for four years, and only today did I realize what his kungfu is all about… Thank goodness I never fought him!” Zack and others around them, including all the crew members, laughed and applauded, equally surprised, egging on, “Wow, that was amazing!” “Fucking cool!” The fight had ended too quickly and had it been real, it very likely could have been deadly.

Rubbing her right elbow and looking up at the clear blue sky, with a young, handsome face and the people around her, Michelle laughed and said, “Fighting with the director, hahaha… This is madness! God, is this really a film set, shooting a movie?”

Everyone laughed joyfully and kept whistling nonstop. Wang Yang pulled her up with force, laughing, “Of course, this is a film set and shooting a movie! But this is how we do it—isn’t it fun? That’s right!” Then, turning to the crew members, he said with a smile, “Welcome to ‘The Hangover’ crew!”

It’s not over yet!” Just as Michelle steadied herself, she suddenly roared and swung a punch towards his back. Wang Yang’s body reflexively spun, slipping and bracing himself, his entire body lowering into a triangular position with the ground, his right shoulder suddenly pressing against the soft chest of Michelle rushing at him. With a forceful push, she immediately flew backwards, landing uncontrollably on the ground.

Oh my God!” The crew members exclaimed loudly. The whole sequence of Michelle charging and being repelled took less than three seconds. As they watched her lie on the ground in pain, clutching her chest and coughing with difficulty, everyone grew concerned. Wang Yang quickly walked over and kneeled down, touching her shoulder and asking with a frown, “Are you okay? His body had instinctively performed a close body lean without much force, which was fortunate since it could’ve been serious otherwise.

Coughing, Michelle shook her head and laughed, “Cough, I’m fine… I lost. Wang Yang rolled his eyes with a smile, knowing that the level of impact just now wouldn’t have been lethal, at most just uncomfortable. He patted her shoulder and laughed, “Oh, I’m glad! I got to bully again.”

Seeing that she was alright, everyone breathed a sigh of relief and began to laugh and clap loudly again. Harry George, who was carrying the camera, shouted excitedly, “Dude, got it on camera! That was awesome, you should fight Stallone!” Wang Yang helped Michelle up and thanked the surrounding crowd with a bow. At that moment, the chubby Zack suddenly pushed the equally curious Bradley forward, shouting, “Hey, director, Phil wants to fight you!”

Looking at the stumbling Bradley, similar in height and weight and also a muscular man… Wang Yang’s eyes sparkled with interest, feeling excited and said with a smile, “Hey, Phil, do you want to have a bout?”

Fight, fight!” The crowd all shouted together, waving their fists like they were back in ancient Rome’s coliseum. Bradley put on an act of craziness, saying, “How could I fight? How would I fight?” But that was also his genuine concern, as he figured he wasn’t much stronger than Michelle!

Seeing him hesitating, the crowd booed immediately, and Wang Yang laughed, “Please, I won’t go all out, I still need you to finish this film!” Knowing he had no way out, Bradley took a deep breath, clenched his fists, set his stance and laughed, “Alright, I’ve trained a bit in combat sports, too.”

In the midst of the cheering and shouting, Wang Yang smiled and gave Bradley a respectful bow, saying, “Come on!” Bradley immediately charged with fists swinging. Wang Yang didn’t continue with his Bajiquan techniques, because with them, he could finish an opponent full of openings within three or four moves, which wouldn’t be satisfying. So, he started with freestyle fighting. Neither used much force, but their bout still had the air of a “professional boxing match.”

Wow, wow!” Michelle shouted excitedly, “Director, take him down!” Zack and Ed laughed and yelled, “Phil, you can’t lose, Doug’s counting on you!” Will Smith held his son Jaden in his arms, who was wide-eyed and suddenly shouted, “I want to learn kungfu! I want to learn kungfu!” Will laughed and said, “Oh, MAN, you found your dream, huh?” Harry George spoke into the microphone on the camera with a smile, “Guys, do you see that? This is a crazy set indeed!”

Joshua was exclaiming with constant wows, as he pulled out his phone and called Jessica. As soon as the call connected, he shouted, “Wow! Jessica! You should come see this, Wang Yang is in a fight! It’s so cool!” Jessica couldn’t help but let out a shocked “What?”, and hurriedly asked, “Wang Yang is fighting? My god, what happened!?”

No no no, wow, that move was cool!” Joshua cheered, before answering with a laugh, “Relax, it’s nothing serious, he’s just having a friendly match with Bradley, he just finished taking care of Michelle.” Jessica let out a sigh of relief and scolded with a laugh, “Speak clearly, don’t scare me! But what’s going on? Why are they fighting?” Seeing that Wang Yang seemed to be changing his stance, ready to fight seriously, Joshua quickly said, “Wow, gotta go, Wang Yang seems to be getting serious. Bye!”

With a thud, Bradley went flying out, hit by the move that pinned him against a mountain, promptly kicking up dust…

Hearing the beeping sound on her phone, Jessica shook her head with an amused smile and finished her sentence, “Hmm, tell him not to hurt anyone. Then, she lazily swung her right fist in front of her and laughed lightly. How did they start fighting on set?

That was an extremely awesome, insanely crazy set, probably only the kind you’d find on Magical Yang’s crew. When you were there, you’d get infected by the joyful atmosphere, the fun people—it was impossible not to play along. You’d always think, ‘How can I make this more fun?’ Then you’d think, ‘Forget everything, just have fun!’ And then you’d go do just that, coming up with some crazy ideas.”

This was Michelle Rodriguez’s latest blog post, “Love This Crazy Set to Death”! She had opened her Blogger account at the invitation of Wang Yang, and she wrote in her article, “Today we actually had a fight, haha, of course, just a friendly match. I also want to know why? How did the set turn into a battleground? Who cares! But I lost miserably, Wang Yang got me good, and my shoulder still hurts.”

But don’t get it wrong, Wang Yang didn’t exert much force; it was all on me. Bradley got it even worse; he nearly got a concussion. Want to know what happened? Want to see how I got beat up? Wait for the DVD later on, haha.

What pleased Wang Yang was that after the fight, Michelle Rodriguez seemed to have had an epiphany, or maybe she really went wild. In the scene where hostages were exchanged in the desert, Michelle had the prop master find her a toothpick, which she put in her mouth, successfully playing the role of a defiant, arrogant gangster’s daughter. Her speech was filled with violence, but it was all performed in a humorous way. The delightful contrast was so strong that if she ever acted seriously in the future, the audience might still laugh.

Her explosive performance also led Wang Yang to decide to reshoot some of her earlier scenes, including her very first entrance, “emerging suddenly from the trunk of a Mercedes.” But by now, the Mercedes convertible that had been constantly used was all beaten up, so the crew had to find another car of the same model for the shoot.

Doug, Doug!” Next to the highway in Las Vegas, the three companions excitedly opened the trunk of the Mercedes. Suddenly, Michelle, wearing only a bra and panties, sprang out, delivered a kick with her left foot that landed right on Bradley’s chest, sending him flying.

Bradley lay on the ground wailing in pain, while Michelle jumped out of the car and with a few “hiyahs” executed kung fu moves, knocking the dumbstruck Ed onto the ground. Finally, she delivered a kick to his groin. Ed let out a dreadful “Ohh,” clutching his crotch and rolling around on the ground, his glasses shattered beside him.

You wanna fuck me?” Michelle glared with fierce eyes, her fists cracking as she stared down at Zack. The portly Zack retreated in terror, extending one hand and pleading, “No one wants to fuck you, nobody! We’re on the same side, we’re on the same side. I hate Angelina Jolie; I hate her! We’re on the same side!” He gasped with difficulty, his voice trembling, “It’s not your fault; I too always thought this was Santa Monica…”

Michelle still roared and charged at him, ready to lift Zack with both hands, spin him around in the air several times, and then slam him hard onto the ground. But when she grabbed Zack’s foot and couldn’t lift him no matter how hard she tried, nearly toppling over herself, she burst into laughter, “Oh my god, he’s too fat!”

Hahaha—” Bradley and Ed, lying on the ground, beat the earth with laughter, and the film crew joined in. Zack, standing tall with his belly, proudly declared, “Being fat is my strength.”

CUT!” Wang Yang, standing behind the camera, called out with a laugh, “I told you we had to use a wire rig; how could you possibly lift him?” Michelle laughed and placed her hands on her hips, saying, “It’s mainly because he’s way over the limit.” Wang Yang, ignoring her, called out to the stunt coordinator with the mic, laughing, “Hey, get the wire rig ready!” They would suspend Zack in the air in this manner, then seamlessly complete the shot, later using CGI technology to remove any traces, making everything look real.

Soon, with the stunt coordinator’s arrangement, Zack was strapped with wires and lifted into the air. Michelle let out a roar, holding him horizontally as she twirled with gusto. Zack screamed in alarm, and with a thud, as she smashed her hands forward, the wires suspending Zack were released, and he crashed solidly onto the ground, moaning repressively.

Hmph!” Michelle gave them a cold glance, brushed her nose with her thumb, and strolled away with poise.