The Black Swan Behind (Beauty of Fire)

281 Wanting You

Emma couldn’t believe she had to go through something like this. Recently, she had been busy with her Black Swan group. The feud between her group and the evil gangster groups was also heating up. When these things hurt her head, now, she had to deal with the complexity of her love story.

Emma’s brain couldn’t stop replaying the incident; when she was kissing Levi. Those pictures, sensations, scents, and feelings were vivid in her memory. They just didn’t want to leave, even though Emma had tried so hard to get rid of them.

Even though it was just a kiss – a common activity nowadays. A kiss was no longer must be a sign of affection. Not even a few people did it just for fun. This activity also did not have to be done by a partner. It could be done by family, friends, or even two complete strangers.

But why did it bother Emma so much? It was because that kiss was her first one.

Emma didn’t know what about Levi. But, for her, a kiss was something that two people who love each other should do.

In fact, in her life, Emma had only ever kissed her mother and possibly her father when she was very small. But now, she had to share it with Levi; a man who should be a stranger in her life!

The feeling of comfort while doing it, Levi’s warmth, made Emma’s sense melt away. She admitted, Levi was surprisingly good at kissing. It looked like he’d been doing this a lot. He also said that he was faced with two loves, which means he may have another lover out there.

“Is that your reason for not having a relationship with me, Levi?” Emma muttered under her breath, hugging her knees. “Is this the pain Poppy mentioned?”

If Levi really already had a girlfriend, then that meant Emma was being toyed with by him all this time. But stupidly, she let it happen.

.....

Emma did not expect that she was weak in terms of love. She lost at this. Romance life was something Jonas or any teacher had never taught her.

“I let this happen, even though from the start, I already knew what the risks were. I should have protected myself. However, I still approached him. Do I like the danger that much?” She muttered.

Until now, Emma had not told Levi that she had arrived home. As soon as she stepped foot in the house, she immediately turned off her cell phone. She didn’t want anyone to bother her.

“It was only a kiss, Emma. You were in a desperate situation just now. You weren’t thinking straight.”

After contemplating for a long time in the warm water that soaked her body, Emma finally regained her clarity of thought -or- It seemed like.

She came out of the bathtub with wrinkled fingers from soaking in the water for too long. Then, she dried off and put on her comfy pyjamas. Her body felt warm, but not with her heart.

Bathing was a great idea that Emma came up with. After doing so, she felt refreshed and saner. She felt able to face everything with a clear mind.

Inside her room, with the window curtains wide open so that the moonlight could filter in, Emma sat neatly on her bed.

She took a deep breath before turning on her cell phone which she had left completely dead for four hours.

As soon as the phone was turned on, a barrage of notifications came. Actually, Emma didn’t expect that there would be that many notifications and they all came from Levi.

He had contacted Emma hundreds of times and texted dozens of times – Asking where she was, if she was home yet, if she was all right, and of course, apologizing.

While opening one by one the texts from Levi, suddenly, her cell phone rang. An incoming call was from a contact named Levi Wargos.

Emma took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then picked up the call.

“Emma!” Levi exclaimed, even before Emma said Hello.

“Goddammit! Finally, you picked up the call! Where have you been, Emma? Why did you turn off your phone? I’ve called you hundreds of times. I’m so worried,” Levi attacked.

“Sorry, I was busy,” Emma answered slowly.

There was a moment of silence somewhere there. “Don’t you ever do that again. I told you to let me know when you got home.” Levi said firmly.

“I can do whatever I want, Levi. I’m a free woman.” Emma answered.

Levi took a deep breath. “Emma, ??we need to talk,”

“I know. Let’s talk.” she nodded.

“Listen, Emma. I’m really really sorry about what happened. I wasn’t feeling well. It felt like my body was moving on its own.” Levi tried to explain.

Emma shook her head. “You don’t have to keep apologizing, Levi. I couldn’t even control myself. Looks like we were both losing our minds.”

“You don’t have to defend me, Emma. The faults are mine. I started it.” Levi answered quickly, “F*ck it! I even broke my promise. I’m a loser,”

Emma chuckled. “It was an accident. It can happen to anyone. Humans have lust. And, you are a man and I am a woman. We just went out of control so the instinct took over our bodies.”

Even though Emma didn’t look angry about that incident, her attitude like this made Levi feel even guiltier. He knew something was going on in her mind, which she was hiding.

Obviously, Levi was the first to kiss her. At the time, he was the one who emphasized that there should not be a special relationship between the two of them. At that time, he promised that he would not let any feelings arise between them.

Levi hated himself for having to do bad things to the woman he likes. He could have hurt anyone and not felt guilty about it. However, he felt something different for Emma.

From the start, Levi knew he didn’t deserve Emma. He knew that he would hurt her. For that reason, he decided to limit their relationship. He had another love that was more important than Emma, ??at least for now. It was also the reason why he didn’t want to get to know Emma too much. It was because he was afraid of falling too deeply in love with the brown-eyed girl.

But today, Levi had made a huge mistake. He lost control of himself and kissed Emma instead – A most forbidden thing for him to do.

Levi had broken her heart. Emma was a good girl. She willed to help Levi, who obviously wouldn’t give anything for her and tended to complicate her life. But with the heart of an angel, Emma kindly reached out her hand for Levi.

Now, Levi had no other choice but to be responsible for Emma’s feelings.

“Emma, ??I have something to tell you,” Levi said.

“Let’s forget about that incident,” Emma said quickly.

“What?” Levi frowned in confusion.

Emma nodded. “It was an accident. After all, it was just a kiss, right? Isn’t it funny if we make a big deal out of it?” She chuckled.

But Levi didn’t feel that way. Maybe for Emma, it was just a kiss. But for him, it was a big thing and meant a lot.

Levi didn’t even understand why Emma could say it so lightly. In fact, Levi still remembered that Emma said she had never loved anyone before. She also never had a special relationship with a man. Then why did she speak as if the incident had no meaning at all?

“As far as I know, you’ve never loved someone,” Levi said quietly.

“Kissing someone doesn’t mean you have to love her, right?” Emma replied lightly, “Therefore, let’s forget about that incident. Let’s pretend it never happened.”

“I like you,” Levi said directly in a flat voice.

Levi’s words made Emma feel as if a knife stabbed her in the chest. She didn’t expect those words to come out of the mouth of the man who once told her not to get involved in special feelings.

Emma laughed awkwardly. “Stop joking around, Levi,”

“I’m not joking. I really like you, Emma. Therefore, I could kiss you. I broke my promise. Now, I will take responsibility,” Levi replied.

“Responsible?” Emma repeated, “Didn’t I say that my feelings are my own responsibility? It has nothing to do with you.”

Levi paused, and continued, “I really want to be responsible or whatever it is. This is too far...”

“Levi,” Emma cut him off “Can you stop this? You didn’t get me pregnant or anything. It was just a kiss. Get rid of your guilt. I’m fine.”

“But I’m not. I’m not okay, Emma.” Levi replied.

On the other side, Levi was in his office. He sat in a large leather chair behind his desk. For the first time, he locked his office door, so no one would come in and see him looking broken.

With the cell phone still pressed to his ear, Levi looked down with his arm resting on his femur. He didn’t expect himself to be in a situation like this.

Actually, Levi wasn’t trying to be responsible to Emma. He was responsible for his own heart. He was the one who caused himself to fall into the feelings that he should have avoided from the start. Now, he had drowned in it.

In the end, Levi, who previously didn’t want a relationship, now actually hoped to have one. He wanted to have a serious relationship with Emma.

He didn’t care about the problems that might come up. He wanted to be selfish to everyone, including Emma herself, because, that was Levi Wargos. He was a selfish man.

Being responsible to Emma was just a bullshit excuse Levi used to justify himself to his own self. He desperately wanted Emma to be his. The feeling was unbearable.

“I want that relationship. Let’s have it, Emma.” Levi continued. He didn’t mind that he looked like a loser by saying it over the phone.

Emma was even more surprised. She had already cleared her mind by soaking for hours in the hot tub. However, she had not prepared herself for something like this.

Did Emma like Levi? Of course, she did. You could tell she really liked him.

If all this time Emma suspected that Levi had Bipolar disorder, it seemed that it was true. How could he turn into heaven and hell in such a short time?