The Black Swan Behind (Beauty of Fire)

292 Tough Childhood

Levi couldn’t believe that Emma would ask him to meet him so soon. Apparently, his feelings for her were greater than her feelings for him.

Even though it was disappointing, Levi decided to accept the reality. Emma rejected him and only wanted friendship, exactly what he wanted in the first place. Therefore, he would do as Emma wished.

For Levi, while he could still meet Emma, ??see her smile, and talk casually with her, that was more than enough.

“I will face a war,” Emma said flatly.

Levi frowned. Then he chuckled, “A war?”

Emma nodded slowly. “Let’s just say it’s a war,”

“I see. So, are you afraid to face it?” He asked, deciding to take Emma’s game. Maybe the war was a parable that Emma used for the very difficult problem she was facing.

“I don’t know whether I’m scared or not. But, I feel worried for sure,” Emma answered.

“It’s normal to be afraid and worried before facing something big. It doesn’t mean you’re weak.” Levi said.

.....

He knew that Emma was a girl with high self-esteem. She didn’t like being seen as weak, even by herself.

“What about you? What will you do when you feel that way?” Emma asked.

“Mm...” Levi crossed his arms across his chest and thought for a while. “If I’m worried, I’ll do what I like. That way, I’ll at least forget my troubles for a while. After that, maybe my brain will relax, even if I’m lucky, I’ll think of a solution that wasn’t thought of before.”

“That’s exactly the thing I’m trying to do right now. But it still doesn’t seem to work.” Emma replied.

“I don’t see you doing anything now. You just sit and ponder and...” Levi stopped his sentence.

He realized that the continuation of his sentence might offend the comfort of both of them. Fortunately, he immediately realized the unspoken words that would have an awkward effect between the two of them.

Whether Emma realized it or not, she said that she was trying to do the things she loved. And all Levi could see now, she was meeting him. Didn’t it clearly mean that meeting Levi was something Emma loved?

Emma frowned. “Why are you stopping?”

Levi immediately shook his head, “I just forgot what to say, haha..”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Do you know how ridiculous you are?”

Levi just smiled faintly. “Is the war you are about to face that big?”

“I guess so. It involves several people who are all related to me.” Emma thought for a moment. “More or less, it’s like group work. Later, we will have an important presentation as a group and I will be the leader.”

“Oh,” Levi nodded in understanding, “So, this is about your lecture, huh? It seems so heavy that you would call it a war.”

“That is a big problem that determines our life and death.” Emma gave a brief shrug before dropping it weakly.

“Have you prepared yourselves before the exam?”

Emma nodded. “We’ve prepared ourselves as best we can.”

“Have you ever heard; The image of a pain hurts more than the pain itself?” Levi asked.

Emma seemed to think, then shook her head. “I don’t think so. But if I think about it, I feel like I’ve experienced it,”

“You have?”

Emma nodded. “When I fell and hit my head as a child, so I had to have surgery. After the surgery, there was a day that I had to get my stitches to be treated by the nurses. At that time, I was scared to death and felt as if I could feel the pain in my head. But when I actually went through it, it turned out that the pain was not as bad as I had imagined. Is that the right example?”

“It is, Emma. It is a perfect example.” Levi smiled broadly. “Without you knowing it, imagining a challenge before it actually comes will only make it more difficult for you to face it later because, in your brain, you already have suggestions about how difficult the challenge is. When the difficulty level of the challenge is actually only fifty percent, it will become one hundred percent because of your own thoughts.”

Emma nodded understandingly. “I think you are right,”

“Of course, I am. Feeling afraid and worried is a natural thing for humans. But if you let yourself get lost in it, then it will drown you. When you actually can succeed, you might fail just because of your own thought.” Levi replied.

“Fail because you thought you will fail. Win because you thought you will win.” Emma muttered to herself.

Even though Emma was muttering to herself, Levi could hear her words. “The difficulty you face is as big as your mind makes it out to be. If you keep saying that it’s easy, then it will become lighter.”

“Honestly, I’m a little afraid that thoughts like this will actually make me underestimate the challenge,” Emma said, looking at Levi with a sad face.

Levi smiled faintly then shook his head. “The one who determines how much effort you make is yourself. The only person who knows your limits is you. Taking things lightly doesn’t mean you actually take them lightly. Even though they are light things, it doesn’t mean you have to loosen up your hard work.”

“It’s hard to say this, but it looks like your explanation has a point. It’s acceptable to my sense.” Emma chuckled.

Levi ruffled Emma’s hair briefly. “Are you feeling better now?”

“Honestly, this is quite a help. Thanks to you,” Emma wasn’t even angry because her hair, which she always styled neatly, was messed up by the hand that was covered with a tattoo.

Since winter was over, Levi often wore casual clothes that made his pale, tattooed skin more visible. Even so, he still often wore dark clothes.

“Do you want to go somewhere fun? Maybe it will relax your brain,” Levi said as he stood up.

Emma frowned while looking at Levi who was standing in front of her. “What place?”

“You’ll find out soon,” Levi replied as grabbed Emma’s hand.

Still holding Emma’s hand, Levi directed her up onto the road, where he parked his car.

“You’re not bringing a car, are you?”

“I’m not,” Emma answered.

**

Less than half an hour’s drive, they arrived at a mall that was not too big.

“I didn’t know there was a mall here,” Emma said as she entered the mall door and looked around.

“This mall isn’t as busy as the other malls. Even so, it’s one of the oldest malls in Handway City. Therefore, the building looks a bit old and rarely visited. You know there are a lot of newer, bigger, and more modern malls now.”

“I guess you don’t know much about Handway City,” Emma asked. She still remembered the first time she met Levi. The man said that he didn’t know much about good places to eat because he rarely went around.

“That’s right.” He nodded.

“But, since we were little, Lukas and I often snuck into this mall. At that time, we looked like homeless and had no money. But back then, this mall had the biggest arcade playground in Handway City.

We came only to watch other children play. Just sitting on a toy that doesn’t on was enough to make us happy. Unfortunately, we are often kicked out by the guards.” He laughed at the thought of the past.

Emma looked at Levi with a sorry face. “Sounds like your childhood was quite tough, wasn’t it?”