The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 39: Adventures in bartending.

Ozzy came to with a pounding headache. No, scratch that, everything ached! His mouth tasted horrible, like something foul had crawled into it and died. His eyesight was hazy and he felt weak and achy. It took a few seconds to realize what else was wrong. It was quiet.

He sat up and looked around. Two alchemical lights were glowing in the room, probably provided by Aliester. The alchemist was sitting with his back to the wall, lightly dozing. Zephyr was stretched out next to him. One leg was splinted and wrapped in bandages. The trap that had broken her leg was disassembled somehow.

In front of Ozzy were several potions with labels next to some empties. He picked up a thick white potion that smelled bad. It had 'Drink me first' on the label. He drank it down and found out why his mouth tasted so bad. The other two potions were standard health potions. Downing these he immediately felt better. Checking his status, he saw that he was now at 657/657 health. A lot better than he had been at the end of the fight. He'd been worried the life drain effects might have been permanent.

Aliester woke as Ozzy stood up, "Good, you look better. Before you complain, yes, the Restorative potions taste horrible. But they are one of the only ways to quickly restore your lost vitality. The draining spell these creatures used is quite potent. They steal not only your current health, but also lower your maximum."

"How's Zephyr?"

Aliester put his hand on her forehead, "No fever, and with the treatment I gave her I'm fairly certain she will heal without contracting a fever or rot. She mainly has a broken leg and will not be walking for a week or two. Potions have restored her health. Getting a bit of rest and some food helps with the healing process, but it would be best to get her home soon. I think this is quite enough adventure for today."

Ozzy could only agree. They did a quick search of the area and came up with several handfuls of copper, along with finding a lever behind the throne that they assumed would raise the portcullis. Aliester put the green crystal rod in his backpack for later. Ozzy grabbed the boss’s skull. He should be able to patch it up from where the last hit split it. It made an impressive looking trophy with the rune-carved horns.

Before they could leave though, they first had some undead that needed to be handled. The skeletons couldn't get in, but two dozen was too much to fight with just two of them, injured as they were.

Ozzy picked up his polearm and walked over to the gate. The undead nearby immediately pressed up against the gate again. Ozzy thrust the heavy billhook through the vertical bars and broke ribs on one of the skeletons. After three thrusts, he decided to try vertical chaps like an axe. This worked much better. He fell into a rhythm. Chop, chop, chop...crunch! Then repeat and take out the next one. Eventually the hallway was clear. He also got a notification.

You have diligently practiced with a billhook, killing foes and learning it's ways. You have learned the weapon skill: Billhook at level 0. This is a tertiary skill for you.

Having the weapon skill: Billhook allows you to attune to the Ancient Billhook of Intwined Fates? Y/N?

Ozzy hit Y, and immediately the weapon felt lighter and more balanced in his hands. He also had a feeling he could cast spells through it...if he ever got a spell that is.

When the hallway was clear, they pulled the lever and raised the portcullis. Ozzy went to carry Zephyr but her father lifted her. "I can handle her weight. That leaves you to handle anything and I can set her down if needed." Zephyr stirred, and saw they were heading back.

"This is embarrassing being packed out of my first dungeon."

Aliester disagreed, "Far better to be packed out with a broken leg than in a body bag. But to save your wounded pride, maybe you could hobble through the last door on your own?"

The trip back was uneventful, except for a stop at the rat-kin in a trap. Zephyr looked at him. She knew how horrible that trap felt. "Can we free him? They are nasty creatures but it seems wrong to just leave him to suffer."

Neither Aliester nor Ozzy felt bloodthirsty enough to kill the trapped creature. Ozzy broke the trap with his hands and they poured a poison cure and healing potion on him. The rat-kin awoke and scuttled into a corner with a frightened squeak. Ozzy noticed his emaciated state. Who knew how long he was in that trap? Ozzie tossed down a water flask and a bag filled with barbequed sedge beast.

"There you go fella. You're healed up and you can eat my lunch. But after that you're on your own."

The rat-kin nodded. He grabbed the food and water, quickly starting to eat. Zephyr and her party made it back to the entrance where her father let her hop through the door on her own power. A crowd of people was thundering down the stairs to greet them.

====================================================================

Suzette looked at the man in front of her who, after making his accusations, calmly went back to sipping his beer. "Well, that does sound serious, but I'm sure we can work things out."

She stuck out her hand and smiled, "Hi, I'm Suzette, I just purchased half the tavern about an hour ago."

"Walgird, Thaddeus Walgird, connoisseur of fine, and not so fine, brewed drinks, and inspector for Bludgeon Brew." He took her hand, and smiled back. He had taken one look at her and assumed she was some piece of fluff hired to bring up sales of beer. Nothing wrong with that, and with her smile he assumed that this little tavern had some very good sales.

A fact that the two dozen adventurers in the tavern seemed to prove. He noted they had all asked for Blud Dark and were about to start their third round. He didn't blame them; it was the best beer in the tavern.

"We shall have to see about that. First of all, I need to know if this is just a label you attached to a fine homebrew, or did you indeed alter the recipe for official Bludgeon Brew?"

Suzette couldn't see an advantage in lying. "Oh, it's the Blud recipe. I just add a bit to it." She saw Ben walking in the door, waving to her. "Oh look, Ben is here. He can spell me at the bar while we go look at the recipe really quick. Right Ben? Thanks."

Ben shrugged and put on an apron. At least it meant his beer was free. "Ok, who needs what?"

Twenty-four voices yelled, "Blud Dark!"

Suzette took Thaddeus into her brewing room. "I'm using some local plants in the mix. This is sedge grass seeds. It grows wild all over the place. I use a mix of 50/50 sedge to groats, also grown locally. Let me get a batch germinating, I put in a bit of extra mana to make them grow quickly. " Thaddeus was taking notes in his journal as she worked. This was an interesting malt mixture. He timed her cantrip; it seemed like an excessive amount of mana. "How much mana are you putting into that spell, may I ask?"

"I use 100 mana to germinate the malt. That's about four times normal. Sedge grass has a tendency to soak up mana easily. The seeds are already soaking in a lot of dark mana, and will absorb more, so the cantrip needs a lot of power to it."

"How long will this take to grow? Tomorrow morning, I assume?"

Suzette laughed. "Oh no, this is quick. I'll be ready to roast the malt in about 20 minutes. Can you keep a watch on it? I have to check the storage area."

Running to the sub-basement, she found it unchanged, except for the glowing crystal about the door. Touching it, she got a message.

This dungeon is now 85% full and in no danger of bursting. As an owner of the establishment, it is connected to, do you wish to claim this dungeon and take control of it? You will control access to this dungeon as long as it remains under 95% full. You will be held responsible for a Dungeon Burst if such an event happens.

Do you wish to claim this dungeon? Y/N

This dungeon is currently denoted as: Lair of the Under-Rodent

Do you wish to rename this dungeon?

Oh, very interesting. She needed to think a bit first. She kept the notification, but moved it to the side.

Running back to the brewery, she saw the germinated grains were ready to roast. She transferred them to a metal cannister and placed them on a runic heating pad made for her by Aliester. "This just takes about 10 minutes, shaking often. I want a golden-brown coloring, but a few fully roasted, that helps with the flavor. "

After roasting and grinding the malt, she added it to the standard set up for Bludgeon Brew, and started on the brewing cantrip. "I use 200 mana for brewing. This barrel will be done tomorrow."

Thaddeus closed his book. "Quite a bit of mana. That's going to be beyond the average brewer. I take it you can only do one barrel a day."

Suzette laughed. "Hah! With how popular it is? No, I can do four kegs in the morning, and another four at night if needed. It's ready to drink a bit less than a day later. It's got three times the kick of normal Blud. The dark mana really ups the alcohol content."

They went back upstairs. Ben was quite happy to see her. She grabbed a half a dozen tankards in each hand and started refilling empty hands and gathering in the copper. She handed Thaddeus a full Blud Dark and poured one for herself. "So, what are your thoughts?"

Thaddeus considered his options. The first was to fine the tavern, forbid the making of Bludgeon Brew, and toss a hefty fine at ACME. This wasn't ideal for many reasons. Firstly, the tavern keeper had simply modified the recipe, not just mis-used the name. Secondly, because of TimmytheWonderboy54 raving about the brew on his videocast, he had several hundred bars wanting to carry the recipe.

Thirdly, it was good beer! He may have to drink a lot of Blud in his travels, but he didn't like it.

And finally, he just didn't want to punish them. The tavern keeper may not have even known about the problems with copyright. From the story he'd gotten, neither of her bosses had said a word when she made the beer and named it. Timmy had assumed it was official. And since they sponsored his show, people everywhere assume it was official as well.

The problem was, he couldn't just let this pass. "My thoughts are you screwed up badly, but I can help you fix it. Are you willing to train a team of my brewers on your methods, both magical and mundane? " Suzette had no problem with that.

"But I need a bit more. My bosses will claim your tavern is gaining a vast amount of advertising from being able to claim the original recipe. They will want compensation for that. They spend a fortune sponsoring adventuring groups like Sir Timothy over there to gain such themselves. Can you guarantee ACME will put forth that sum?"

Suzette finished her beer. "How about a trade? I get Timmy over there, and a lot of other groups, to sponsor your brand for free, plus give you a unique form of sponsorship that at this time, no one else can match?"

Thaddeus looked at the smiling barmaid/tavernkeeper. What the hell was she up to? "That is a mighty tall order. But, in general and non-binding terms, I will say that we might have a deal. When will you be able to give me details?"

"How about later tonight? Sit and have some beer on the house. I'll set it up. Ben, pour Mr. Walgird whatever he wants, mark it down as on the house. Have to be fair and make sure ACME gets its 20%. Be right back."

Moving back downstairs for some privacy, she brought up the window and claimed the dungeon, followed by changing how the notifications were set up and giving it a new name.

==================================================================

Vern, Billy, and Layla were sitting at a small table in Billy's hut, trying to come up with some way to outwit the spells on the standing stones. They'd 'experimented' until they'd used up all of Layla's crew twice. People had crawled, been thrown, charged together, and tried to tunnel in, all with no success. Layla suggested a deeper tunnel, Vern was talking about finding some players or NPC's with magic knowledge. All three had their screens light up.

Congratulations! ACME corporation or one of its employees has laid claim to a dungeon in the village of Sedgewick earning ACME corporation 50 Building Points for claiming a dungeon, and 100 Building Points for being one of the first 10 dungeons discovered.

Claim more Building Points to enhance your Corporate Holdings by constructing more public works or taking responsibility for dangerous parts of the world.

Vern was ecstatic. "Billy! My boy! You had another present for Uncle Vern? I should tan your hide for keeping it a secret but I'm just too happy with you. 150 Building Points?!! That will give us a small office in the capital or a multi-story office building in one of the dukes’ cities. Where is this dungeon?

Billy wished he knew himself. Time to stall. "Let’s grab a beer Vern, and I'll tell you all about it." Layla followed along fuming. How the hell was Billy pulling this shit out of his ass without her catching wind of it?

The tavern was in full swing. Timmy had intended to come in and start some shit, get a bar fight going and maybe have it spill into the town for a bit of looting and pillaging. Standard proceedure for when Momco. sent a gang into a small town to teach it a lesson. And he wanted to get a bit of revenge on whoever stole that Daemon kill from him. Dying was bad enough, but not getting a second chance at HIS Daemon? Unforgivable.

But that plan was delayed when he saw an official Bludgeon Brew quality expert in town. He liked the money he got from being sponsored by Blud; it let him have a bit longer leash from Grandmother. So tonight, they would drink, maybe tomorrow go on a rampage. Besides a comely little barmaid, there wasn't anything in this town he needed, and Momco wanted to start causing ACME some problems.

The Bludgeon guy was getting awful chummy with 'Suzette the lonely Barmaid’; working on some deal about Blud Dark from what he overheard. He was about to grab another Blud when his screen lit up with a message - as did everyone else’s who was in or near the tavern.

Raise a glass of Blud to Zephyr, Ozzy, and Aliester who have slain the vile Snik'Tik the Rat-kin Necromancer. (Level 5 Elite Boss.) Who will be the next adventurers to venture into:

The Lair of the Under-Rodent, sponsored by Blud Dark!