The Detective is Already Dead

Chapter 100: Chapter 2.4

And so the world turned

"Ace Detective Siesta. I apologize for my late arrival," Siesta said, bowing her head to the people seated at the long table. "You too, Kimi."

As prompted, I copied Siesta—Wait, we were late?

We seated ourselves in the chairs closest to us, sitting side by side.

Some of the faces in the row of Tuners were familiar, and naturally, there were others I'd never seen before. Unfortunately, even though he'd been the one we were counting on, the Vampire didn't seem to be present.

"I don't believe we've met, Ace Detective." The girl with the cane spoke politely, but her tone and her eyes were clearly hostile. She glared at Siesta, who was sitting directly across the table from her. Although her flashy outfit was very anime, her expression was cold and stern.

"You've violated the Federal Charter's rules a zillion times, you've been granted exceptions, and on top of that, you've literally come back from the dead... Just how much do you need the world to love you, anyway? Rill wishes you'd share some of that good luck with her."

The girl who called herself Rill pointed the cane in her right hand at Siesta, who didn't resist. I wasn't able to react fast enough, and my muscles tensed.

"Enough."

That said, everyone here was a seasoned veteran who'd put their life on the line to protect the world. Maybe I was too normal to keep up, but the redheaded Assassin already had her gun pointed at the girl.

"Weren't you just told to put down your weapon, Reloaded?"

"Violating the charter is a capital offense, remember? What's the problem?"

"Even if it is, you're not the one who dishes out the punishment," Ms.

Fuubi snapped.

"Fuubi. Neither are you."

The man in a suit who sat at the head of the row told Ms. Fuubi to put her gun away. Apparently his words carried the most weight with this crowd; both Ms. Fuubi and Reloaded obeyed, reluctantly stowing their weapons.

I had the feeling I'd seen that man's face somewhere before. His brown hair was combed back, and his eyes were deep green. His expensive suit fit him well; he seemed to be some sort of politician... "...Oh. Are you Fritz Stewart?" I asked.

The man let his icy mask drop and smiled with his public face. "Once again, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Fritz Stewart, mayor of New York City."

I knew it. His face was the same one I'd seen on TV.

Back when Siesta and I had spent time in this country, Fritz Stewart had already been a distinguished politician. He'd won support with his mild personality and solid track record, and he was still the acting mayor of New York. "I never thought someone like you would be a Tuner."

"Yes. I've been given the role of Revolutionary." Revolutionary... That was a Tuner position?

"I can't discuss the specifics, but slightly tilting the world from the shadows is the Revolutionary's mission. You might not think so, but much like children's seesaws, governments in every era are made up of balances."

For the sake of peace, the world's balance was preserved, or sometimes broken. While he wasn't a femme fatale who seduced kings and toppled nations, Fritz Stewart the Revolutionary probably didn't limit his activities to this city. From behind the scenes, he interfered with politics and economics around the world. "Global crisis" didn't always mean aliens or the denizens of parallel worlds. People who commanded nations could destroy the planet easily.

"Fritz, are you the leader of the Tuners?" I made guess based on what I'd seen so far.

"No, no. I'm only the moderator for this particular session." Since I didn't know anything about this council, Fritz explained for my benefit. "Perhaps you weren't informed that we Tuners are an organization under the direct control of the Mizoev Federation, either?"

"...That's right. My business partner won't tell me anything unless I ask her. And when I do, she still won't tell me." I shot Siesta a look, but as usual, she acted as if it had nothing to do with her. She'd made black tea at some point and was elegantly enjoying a cup by herself.

"It is something I'd vaguely expected, though. If some country had taken the initiative and organized the Tuners, it had to be America, Russia, China... There weren't too many other alternatives."

At present, there were six continents: Eurasia, Africa, North America, South America, Australia, and Mizoev. When the continents had fought each other over the Akashic records in World War III, no country had sustained heavy damage; I'd heard that was due to the Mizoev Federation's "Silent Rule."

"That said, the Federation Union includes several important figures from countries besides Mizoev, and that is the entity that appoints us as Tuners. Among our group, I have been charged with moderating this council," Fritz said, wrapping up his answer to my first question. He had to be used to moderating already due to his work in politics; as far as I was concerned, he was the right guy for the job.

"Still, this is your first time taking part in a Federal Council," Fritz said, focusing on me again. "Everyone here knows about you, of course, but the reverse isn't necessarily true. Before we get into the main topic, why don't we introduce ourselves?"

...He'd just said something really scary in passing. Why did all the Tuners

know about me? And why were they all watching me? "You're sure it's okay to use up time on an outsider?"

"You and the Ace Detective are today's guests of honor," Fritz responded. "Besides, if they obtain permission in advance, all Tuners are allowed to bring one assistant to the Federal Council, or send one proxy for themselves. Just as she's done." Fritz's gaze went to the chair diagonally opposite mine.

"Come to think of it, our positions are similar, huh, Olivia?"

The Oracle's messenger wasn't a flight attendant today. She was attending as her Tuner's assistant and proxy.

"Yes. Although, the Oracle is here as well." Opening her laptop, Olivia turned it to face me—and there...

"...What are you doing?" I almost said Mia, but clammed up to protect her privacy. Still, the girl on the screen, who was clearly Mia Whitlock, was dressed in a shrine maiden's costume...and wearing a fox mask.

"I heard it was possible to attend online. Quite modern, don't you think?" Mia said, justifying her choice. I never thought I'd see the day when shut-ins were ahead of the times.

"—I don't need this, though," she told us, removing her mask. Olivia and the other Tuners stared at her, caught off guard.

Mia had never revealed anything about her identity before, not even her face or her name. Unless she filled us in, there was no way to know what had brought on this change of heart. Even so, her eyes were glowing with a determination to be involved with the world.

"I see. So you're already acquainted with the Oracle. I suppose I should have expected no less." Fritz watched me, intrigued. "Do you know him too, then?" He let his eyes wander, skimming over the Ace Detective and the Assassin, until they came to rest on a man in a dark suit at the very end.

"......"

Even though we were inside, the man wore sunglasses, and he sat with good posture without moving a muscle. He looked almost like an exquisitely made android; he had a stern face, and he didn't say a word.

I didn't know him. But I'd been involved with these guys lots of times. "The Man in Black." Fritz introduced the man by his position, not his

name. "Their organization, the Men in Black, has been collectively appointed as a Tuner. They're stationed all over the world as what you might call handymen."

"...Oh, yeah, I know what you mean."

Four years ago, they'd made me smuggle that musket just before I met Siesta at ten thousand meters. After that, they'd helped us out with jobs now and then, on Siesta's instructions. After death had temporarily separated me from Siesta, I'd relied on them personally a few times.

"That's right. The Men in Black are a replacement for a piece that went missing right before the completion of an enormous puzzle. They're the lubricant that helps rusted, immobilized gears turn again. They're the gods from the machine that appear to the characters of a certain story in order to hold the plot together."

This world was riddled with inconsistencies, but people still managed to live without any cognitive dissonance. It might be thanks to a single bullet that was fired from the darkness, invisible and unremembered.

"Am I next, then?" Another individual who'd been silent until now spoke. He sat diagonally opposite Fritz: an old man with white whiskers who wore a silk hat and a smile. "My name is Bruno. My job is to provide intelligence that's useful to the rest of you as the Information Broker." Bruno's gentle smile was exactly the kind Santa Claus would have worn if he'd really existed. "It's been quite some time since we last saw each other, Ace Detective."

"It really has. It's good to see you, Bruno." Siesta bowed her head to the elderly man with unexpected reverence. Apparently they were old friends.

"He helped you out as well, Kimi, although you didn't know it," Siesta whispered in my ear.

"During those three years, you mean?"

"Yes. A third of those incidents couldn't have been resolved without his knowledge and information."

I see. So the Tuners she'd mentioned before we got here, the ones I'd been involved with unaware, had been the Men in Black and the Information Broker.

"There's no mandatory retirement age for Tuners?" I whispered to Siesta, idly curious.

"No. And, Kimi, you say some pretty rude things without even blinking."

...It was rare for Siesta to get mad at me for a good reason. She was usually much more unfair.

"Ha-ha-ha!" Bruno sounded unexpectedly entertained. He'd heard my

comment loud and clear. "Oh, it doesn't bother me. No doubt you were concerned for my health." He smiled gently.

...On the other hand, somebody who was probably capable of killing people with one look glared at me. "Listen up, you damn brat." Sure, I count as a brat to somebody your age, Ms. Fuubi, I thought, but I didn't say it. "He's lived ten times as long as you have, and he's still performing his duties as the Information Broker. Don't you dare disrespect him."

...Ten times my age? Then Bruno was... No, but he only looked about seventy...

"It's thanks to a rather special drug. It hasn't made me quite immortal, but I will live a tad longer than the rest of you." Bruno toyed with his beard. "It's just that, since I've lived a slightly longer life, I know a few things. The Assassin and the Ace Detective always face the world's crises squarely, out on the front line, and I respect them." Bruno turned his gentle gaze on Ms. Fuubi, then Siesta.

"Let's move on, shall we?" Fritz's introductions finally shifted to the seventh Tuner. This last one was the problem kid who'd been arguing with Ms. Fuubi when we came in...

"So we finally get to talk." Switching from the stern expression she'd worn this whole time, the girl—Reloaded—smiled rather proudly, flashing white mini-fangs. Sweeping her orange hair back, she said:

"Kimihiko Kimizuka, you are in the presence of the great Magical Girl, Reloaded. How would you like to be her pet—um, familiar?"

Why are all the girls I run into such a pain in the butt?