The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Chapter 13

Wu Lie cried for a while in the courtyard before returning to the living room. He pointed at the speculated Huanghua Pearwood and said, "Manager Cheng, I've already paid the money, so please take the goods away quickly."

Finally, Lan Xi reluctantly expressed her understanding.

Ever since someone died in the family, Wu, the CEO, didn't have the mood to entertain Lan Xi anymore.

But seeing Wu, the CEO, cry so sadly, Lan Xi felt it necessary to comfort him.

In the "Guide to Conquering Earthlings," it says that when Earthlings experience a bleak situation, comforting them requires finding positive details within that bleak experience.

Lan Xi looked at the nearby Huanghua Pearwood and thought of an excellent comforting reason.

She patted Wu Lie's shoulder and said, "CEO Wu, please accept my condolences. This situation, you see, has two sides."

"Although it's as difficult for you as losing your parents, it just so happens that Huanghua Pearwood is excellent wood material. It's particularly distinguished for making coffins. I've already solved the problem of obstructing the lighting in your house with this broken Huanghua Pearwood. You can give this broken piece to your financial sister, and she can use it to make a proper coffin for the deceased, so they can depart in a dignified manner. It's a win-win situation!"

"..."

Lan Xi spoke earnestly, "I also understand why you regard your financial team as family. Even though your elderly relatives have passed away, you still manage to find time amidst your busy schedule to pay off the company's debt. Your dedication to work is commendable, and it's worthy of having a Huanghua Pearwood coffin!"

"..."

Lan Xi thought her arguments were reasonable and well-founded. Perhaps she was reminded once again that the financial team, treated like family, had lost someone dear to them. Wu, the CEO, appeared even more distressed. However, Xie Cheng didn't seem to be affected by the atmosphere of sadness at the scene. He looked like he was about to burst into laughter, struggling to hold it in. His facial expression was contorted from suppressing his laughter.

He truly was a man devoid of sympathy!

Lan Xi wanted to comfort Wu further, but Xie Cheng wouldn't allow it.

"That's enough," he said, simultaneously pulling Lan Xi by her sleeve and leading her away.

Lan Xi was infuriated. "I haven't packed my snacks yet!"

Even as she was being pulled into Xie Cheng's car, Lan Xi mourned the loss of her snacks.

Xie Cheng glanced at Lan Xi with a complex expression. "You really are talented."

"No need to say it!" Lan Xi said proudly. "By the way, I've managed to recover the 20 million yuan. Will I be receiving a bonus?"

"Yes, you will."

Xie Cheng was in a good mood. He suddenly realized that Lan Xi was actually quite impressive. She was good-looking, had a great figure, possessed strength, had excellent data analysis skills, though she didn't understand people's words, surprisingly, she was very effective. Although she had some bugs in her behavior patterns, those bugs could be fixed and didn't affect the basic functionality of the program.

Xie Cheng had initially prepared to treat this outstanding debt of 20 million yuan as a bad debt, considering that Wu Lie had already transferred the funds from ChenYu Technology's account. Even if he won the lawsuit and tried to collect the money through enforcement, he wouldn't be able to retrieve it. That was why Xie Cheng had never taken legal action, as it would only be a waste of time and effort.

Unexpectedly, this was a truly unexpected turn of events.

The 200,000 yuan bonus was well-deserved by Lan Xi. However, Xie Cheng's joy didn't last long.

Shortly after returning to the company, he received bills from several cooperating hotels and restaurants. It was the period for unified signing and payment, so receiving bills was normal. However, what was abnormal was the amount on the bills.

"I only took clients out for a meal once this month. Why is the bill amount 300,000 yuan?"

Not only that, Xie Cheng discovered that this situation wasn't limited to just one restaurant. Several others had expenses exceeding 50,000 yuan for the month.

And all the restaurants provided the same astonishing answer:

"Although you didn't come frequently, your assistant came often, and we charged it to your account."

"..." Xie Cheng was speechless.

"We have retrieved the surveillance footage of the signed bills. We can send it to you for verification at any time."

While the customer service representative spoke, a video was sent.

Xie Cheng furrowed his brows and clicked on it, only to find out that what they said was true. The person in the footage was indeed Lan Xi.

She had taken advantage of free meals and put the expenses on his tab, strutting around with unwavering confidence.

Xie Cheng stared at her departing figure, completely dumbfounded. Who could behave so audaciously?

**

When Xie Cheng called Lan Xi into his office again, she was already planning how to spend her upcoming 200,000 yuan bonus.

However, Xie Cheng, whose expression had been joyful just a moment ago, seemed to darken inexplicably. His voice carried disbelief as he spoke,

"Lan Xi, did you go out to eat and put the bills on my account?"

Lan Xi was proud of what she had done and nodded happily, "Yes! Since I didn't have to pay, I just put it on your tab! I ate a lot!"

"..." Xie Cheng's voice turned cold, "Have you ever considered that even though you put it on my account, we still have to pay the bill in the end, and it's me who has to pay?"

Lan Xi was stunned, "Huh? Is that how it works?" She didn't know! She thought she didn't have to pay anymore!

Xie Cheng rubbed his temples, "I will have the administrative department review the surveillance footage and the amounts. You will be responsible for the bills you signed, and the expenses will be deducted from your salary."

Lan Xi couldn't quite comprehend, "What does that mean?"

Xie Cheng said coldly, "It means your 200,000 yuan bonus is gone."

"..."

"Not only that, even after deducting the 200,000 yuan, it won't be enough. When we include the medical expenses from the slight concussion you caused me last time, you'll owe me an estimated 200,000 yuan." Xie Cheng couldn't help but say, "What on earth did you eat to spend so much money?"

She didn't eat anything special... She just ate until she was 70% full each time... Otherwise, the cut on the Huanghua Pearwood would have been smoother!

But Lan Xi didn't get a chance to defend herself because Xie Cheng rubbed his temples and continued with a sincere question,

"And I suppose you believe in egalitarianism, don't you?"

Lan Xi paused, not understanding how this question related to the topic, "Why do you say that?"

"Because you practice equality every day, equally infuriating everyone."

Xie Cheng stared at the bill on the table, grinding his teeth in frustration. "I was just mocking others, only to realize now that I'm merely following in their footsteps. It seems I'm not far from death myself."

Lan Xi was taken aback. "Death? You're nearing death? But you're still so young! Is this a case of appearances being deceiving? On the outside, you look young, but inside, your body is aging and weakening, unable to withstand the test of time?"

"...Did she learn Chinese from a physical education teacher?" Xie Cheng wondered silently, his expression becoming even more indescribably unpleasant.

Indeed, his physical condition seemed to be deteriorating. It appeared that if he couldn't catch his breath, he would soon depart from this world.

Earthlings are truly fragile creatures.

Lan Xi sighed.

Feeling a tinge of sadness, she had just successfully won over Xie Cheng, and now he was facing death. What should she do? She hadn't been able to marry Xie Cheng according to the laws of Earth, so if he died, she wouldn't receive a single cent of his money.

But... given the circumstances, all she could do was remain calm. After all, the one in the most miserable situation was the person approaching death.

Therefore, Lan Xi decided to set aside her own disappointment and instead focus on Xie Cheng. She said, with concern, "By the way, I just remembered that cremation is popular nowadays. So, there's no need for a coffin. If we use the huanghua pearwood that Wu General provided, we can make two more urns. Since I'm friends with him, shall I contact him immediately and ask him to prepare one for you as well? Do you need it urgently? If not, I can contact him after work."

Lan Xi felt great sympathy for Xie Cheng, and she needed to report this situation to Xie Jing as soon as possible!

Xie Cheng seemed to have difficulty speaking; his response was strained, as if the words were being squeezed out between his teeth. "Lan Xi, don't you think you should go to the hospital and get a CT scan of your brain? Or measure your body temperature to see if you have a high fever that's affecting your thinking? Hasn't anyone ever told you that your thinking is abnormal?"

At a time like this, why was Xie Cheng still concerned about other people's well-being?

"I am perfectly healthy," Lan Xi gratefully replied. "My body functions well, and my thinking is normal. Xie Cheng, at a time like this, you should think more about yourself!"

Xie Cheng's voice sounded resentful. "I'm not concerned about you."

Yeah, yeah, the classic Earthling behavior of being tough on the outside but soft on the inside.

In such a situation, it was customary on Earth to understand without explicitly acknowledging it. Therefore, Lan Xi didn't argue back.

At this moment, Xie Cheng's complexion had worsened considerably. Time was running out. Lan Xi decided to seize the opportunity and say what needed to be said.

"One last thing," Lan Xi timidly spoke, "after you pass away, do I still need to repay the 200,000 that I owe you? And those bills you signed, can I just forget about them? Perhaps, before you die, let me treat you to a couple more meals?"

Unfortunately, Xie Cheng was reaching his limit. He looked as if he could barely contain his emotions. His hands clenched into fists, veins popping, as if he was forcefully suppressing a certain sentiment, just to maintain his outward composure in this moment.

"Things have come to this point, please accept my condolences and adapt to the situation." Lan Xi imitated the lines spoken by characters in Earth TV dramas, wearing a solemn expression. "Money is just an external possession. Since it's time to leave, let's depart cleanly, without dwelling on material things. There's no need to let money taint the path of reincarnation. As for money matters, let them pass away with the wind."

Lan Xi mourned with a pained expression. "You can rest assured and embark on your journey."

"..."

At this moment, Xie Cheng really wanted to call his lawyer and ask if it was legal to go autistic.

But at the same time, he strongly suspected that this Lan Xi's inability to understand hidden meanings was just a front, because everything she did was the ultimate move of a player who pretended to be weak to devour the strong.

Xie Jing had sent an outstanding talent indeed. Xie Cheng felt like he was about to be driven to an early grave at the age of twenty-eight.

The mind of a lunatic is broad, and a simpleton finds joy in many things.

So where did Xie Jing find such a lunatic simpleton?

Xie Cheng's cultivated manners and upbringing of twenty-eight years crumbled before Lan Xi.

At this moment, Xie Cheng just wanted to burst out with curses.

All the talk about caring for vulnerable groups and promoting the integration of autism into society, Xie Cheng felt that all his virtues and qualities were about to vanish along with Lan Xi's continued presence.

Before his qualities completely disappeared, he had to find a way to make her leave.

Author's note: Xie Cheng: Even if my qualities vanish, I should still see this person off.